Back With Me

Part One

"Hit me."

An eyebrow arched up at the firm words. "Are you quite sure about that? Doesn't seem like a good idea, mate."

A resolved nod in response. "Hit me. I mean it."

"Well, if you're sure about that," Spike drawled then reached out a quick hand, expertly flipping the card across the table. "Six of spades. That makes 22, sorry, luv, thanks for playing."

Xander just groaned, what had possessed him to do that? He still never knew what to do if he was holding sixteen, just seemed too close to call.

"Pet, not necessarily a bad decision, just make sure you have the money to lose, can go either way. Besides," Spike dealt himself another card, "dealer would have had twenty so you were fucked either way."

Xander just nodded, watching Spike's elegant hands scoop up the cards and shuffle them together.

"Now, once again, what are the three cardinal lessons?" Spike fanned the deck, then placed it on the table, cutting and recutting the cards, idly palming a card now and then, just for the practice.

"One, always stand on seventeen. Two, set your limit BEFORE you sit at the table. Three, the house always wins." Xander absently repeated, concentrating on watching Spike's hands. Damn, he could never see how he managed to do that. Everything looked fine, then suddenly the ace of spades appeared in Spike's hand. Damn vampire speed, wasn't fair.

"Why did you pick this, luv? Could have taught you craps just as easily, less relative odds to keep in your head." Spike dealt out the cards and Xander grinned when he saw his hand.

"Blackjack, take that you cocky vamp," he chortled, seeing Spike's lowly ten and three.

"Better to be lucky than good," Spike grinned back. "Seriously, why this of all the things you could have chosen."

Xander just shrugged. "Wanted to learn some kind of card came, didn't want to be reduced to playing slots the whole time. Baccarat has that whole Bond, James Bond thing, and, as you proved last week, I can't bluff for shit so poker's out." He winced a little at that thought. He had lost $200 in about twenty minutes and Spike had never been allowed to touch the deck. Damn vampires and their three facial expressions.

"So you pick the one game that rewards Stephen Hawking like math skills." Spike just shook his head affectionately. "Well, I'll just be here, waiting for the call to wire you money."

Xander swatted Spike as he walked past him into the kitchen, grabbing a couple of beers.

"Doubt we'll be in the casino that much anyway, you know Anya."

"Hmmm," the low reply. "So where are you staying again?"

"The Luxor, you know the pyramid shaped one, she said something about Egypt, mummies, that whole thing," Xander sat on the couch, flipping on the television.

"So, your little demon says, 'Hey, let's go to Vegas for the week' and you aren't worried one little bit that she's getting you there for more nefarious reasons then gambling? Lots of chapels about, pet." Spike settled on the other end of the couch, taking a long drink. Just like the bitch, drag Xander off where his friends couldn't interfere, where he couldn't keep an eye out for the lad, get him drunk, get him married.

"Nope, trust me, she made that damn clear when she made the reservations. She just wanted to get away. It's our two year anniversary you know and she made a killing day trading, went in and bought a bunch of stuff during the downturn, then just held it until everything started to climb again." Xander grinned around the lip of the bottle. "Can get used to being a kept man."

"Sure, luv, anything you say," Spike's skepticism was plain. "Fly out tomorrow, back week Sunday, right?"

"Yup, appreciate you keeping watch over the place." Xander looked around proudly. The house was small, but it was his. He had worked long and hard to make it nice, to repair the roof, the walls, the floor, hell, pretty much gutted it and started over. And it was his. No help from anyone else. He didn't want anything to happen to it while he was gone and a week was an eternity on the Hellmouth.

"Well, beats the crypt any day even if your windows are drafty. Why me, not one of the rest of the gang?" Spike settled in on the couch, wiggling his back ever so slightly into the cushions.

"They're too busy, and, besides, no one wanted to stay, just drop by, get the mail, stuff like that." Xander knew that he was being a little obsessive, but he had never been gone more than a day and he didn't want to worry while on vacation. He knew Spike would take good care of the house, knowing full well that Buffy staking him would be the least of his problems if anything happened while Xander was gone.

They both looked up at the sound of keys in the front door. "Men, packages, car, carry," she managed to hiss out as she staggered in, laden with boxes and bags. It seemed her little shopping trip had gone well.

"Oh, yes, dear, anything for you, dear, I just do what you say, dear," Spike swept out the door with a mock bow, heading out now that Xander's little love was back.

"See ya, Spike, thanks in advance." Xander called to the retreating figure. Spike just tossed a wave over his shoulder and stalked away.

Spike paced through the small rooms of the house, tracing a circle from bedroom to living room to kitchen to bathroom to bedroom. He was going slowly insane, the scent of Xander surrounding him. Once again, his thoughts turned to their unlikely alliance. Since the fucking chip had been slammed into him, he and the whelp had slowly formed a strong friendship. Spike clearly understood the reasons behind it. They were the outcasts of their peers, the ones on the edges of the action. Spike was a pariah in the demon realm, while Xander was the comic relief of the Slayerettes. Neither were taken seriously, both were consulted only when all other avenues failed. At first, they were merely drinking partners, each trying to one up the other in tales of self-pity and woe. But gradually, so gradually neither had noticed, they had become friends. Now, they saw each other every day, frequently calling just to check in. Spike had managed to acquire a cell phone for which he mysteriously never reached a bill and Xander was the only one of the Scooby gang who had the number. Spike was a frequent quest in Xander and Anya's home. Indeed, the guest room wasn't so much a guest room as it was Spike's room, he even had several sets of clothing there. Blood was always in the refrigerator, ashtrays were on the endtables and Xander even allowed Spike to order Manchester United matches off the satellite. All quite cozy.

"Bloody hell, turning all domestic, doing him favors, running around doing errands for his chit, love's bitch indeed," Spike muttered, pacing faster and faster. Spike knew exactly why he was so willing to swallow his pride, so willing to quell the voices in his head mocking him for his shameful loss of face. He was a laughingstock now, he knew that, he heard the whispers when the other vampires didn't know he could hear them. Poor old Spike, the Slayer's pet, no, not that, worse than that, the pet of the Slayer's pet. He knew and didn't care. He loved Xander, had loved Xander since he couldn't say when, didn't want to try to decide. It was worth it just to be some small part of his life.

"Always pick the impossible, don't you, you stupid pillock. Cicely, Angelus, Dru, yes, quite the track record there, mate. Stuck up bitch, broody bastard, certifiably insane vampiress, nice collection, mate. Now a human, oh that's lovely. A human man, straight as can be, in love with a former demon. Walking Springer show." The muttering continued as Spike began the familiar litany in his head, trying to find some way to remind himself of what he used to be, how continents had once trembled at the mere mention of his name. Now, now he was house sitting for someone he would have considered a nice snack in the good old days. He growled deeply, shaking off the melancholy. No, one brooder was quite enough in a family, thank you, and his already had the master itself.

"Right, need to find something to do, never were good at thinking, action's more my game," Spike stopped in the center of the living room, casting a dark look around. "Let's see, could try to find something to blackmail the whelp, that would be good." Spike nodded, his enthusiasm for the project rising quickly. "Yes, good plan, that, can save those Polaroids for later." An evil grin curled at the corners of his mouth. Xander truly should have known better than to get so drunk he passed out, not when Spike was still sober and in possession of a camera. Spike was rather certain that Xander didn't want anyone but Anya knowing that she made him wear tiger striped thong underwear.

Spike efficiently set about checking the house for its secrets, already knowing where they kept their porn and sex toys. Actually, those weren't even hidden, just kept in a box under the bed and that only because Xander insisted upon it. Anya would have left the handcuffs and gag ball on the corner table if it were up to her. No, Spike was after more interesting items, like old pictures. Perhaps old pictures of Xander when he was on the swim team, now that would be sight to see.

The living room yielded nothing, nor did the kitchen. Well, nothing more than some money and a few rings of Anya's kept in a fake can in the pantry. Spike pocketed the bills, then moved to the bathroom. No, nothing there either. He carefully knocked on the walls, finding it hard to believe that Xander, with all his construction skills, hadn't made some secret compartment. Still, nothing.

He moved into what even he had taken to calling his room, a chill running through him once again at the thought. Good thing he had given up pride last year, otherwise the shame of being a tolerated guest in a human's home may have crushed him. Still, nothing, not even behind the loose board in the closet. He frowned. Either Xander was very clever or he had wisely cleared out any incriminating items prior to Spike's arrival.

Frowning at that thought, Spike entered Xander and Anya's room, flinching a little at the scent of their sex that still lingered there, even though they had been gone for three days and Spike had immediately opened the windows when he had arrived that Sunday. It was bad enough to smell it when they were there, it was infinitely worse to smell it when they were gone. How many nights had he leaned back on the bed in the next room, clearly hearing the sounds of their lovemaking, the scent of it overpowering him. How many times had he wrapped a cool hand around himself, stroking in time to Xander's thrusts, trying to picture himself under, over, around that beautiful body. It seemed a cruel taunt that he would still have to smell it now.

Spike checked the room. Still nothing. He started over again, focusing on the closet, tapping carefully at the walls. Finally, he was rewarded with a slight echo in the wall behind Anya's shoeboxes. He pulled the boxes away, then looked closely. He could just make out the seam, just barely feel the slight indentation. He carefully slid the panel to the side, then reached a hand in. He felt the corner of an envelope and grinned. Jackpot. Xander wasn't the only one getting lucky. He eased the envelope out the hole and then padded into the kitchen to examine his prize.

"FUCKING BITCH, RIP HER HEART OUT. MOTHERFUCKING CUNT," Spike couldn't stop the screams from ripping from his throat, not caring that the neighbors would surely hear. The pictures spread across the table. Anya and some man. Some man with dark hair and dark eyes, but without Xander's smile, Xander's warmth, Xander's face. Letters, matchbooks, dating back over a year. So this explained her buying trips, her private voicemail account, explained the secret smiles. The bitch had a lover, had had a lover, continued to have a lover. Spike reached down, his hands trembling in rage as he traced the words of the most recent letter.

"Dearest, miss you, must see you, meet me in Las Vegas. I'll bring her, you bring him, they will never suspect."

**At least he was right about her not wanting to get married** Spike just snarled as the thought crossed his mind. Like that mattered now. Xander had been so happy about this trip, so proud that he was in a loving, stable relationship. All a lie. Spike reached out, grabbing the phone from the wall, dialing the number from memory. He had stared at the paper with the number for the hotel for hours, playing imaginary conversations with Xander in his head. This was the longest they had gone without talking in over a year, hell, Spike usually called Xander to say he was leaving to come to the house, then Xander would call and ask Spike to pick up something on the way, then Spike would call back to make sure he had everything, then Xander would call to see how close Spike was to arriving at the house. Three days was an eternity. He dialed the number, listened to the rings, then suddenly hung up. No, no he would not do this.

Spike pulled out a cigarette, craving the nicotine to calm him down. No, he wouldn't just call, wouldn't ruin it for Xander. Better to let him have the lie for a few more days. When they returned, however, he would make sure that he and the demon bitch had a little talk. He would make sure that Anya left Xander, but he would also make sure that Xander never knew the real reason behind the trip. Just that, she could give Xander just that. Spike yanked open the freezer and pulled out the bottle of vodka. If this didn't call for getting drunk, he didn't know what did. This was going to devastate Xander and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Couldn't even kill the bitch for what she had done. Bypassing a glass as merely a wasted gesture, Spike took a huge gulp straight from the bottle.

Spike flattened himself to the wall just inside the front door, quickly calculating that, yes, he could pin whatever it was trying to break into the house to the far wall without being exposed to the sun. He had been asleep on the couch, still a little groggy from his binge two days before. He had finished the bottle of vodka, then the whiskey, then the gin, then the rest of the beer before collapsing in the middle of the kitchen floor. He had regained consciousness the next morning long enough to moan then stagger into his bed. He slept most of the rest of the day, finally being forced to move due to hunger. Even blood had tasted like sand in his mouth and he had collapsed again on the couch. However, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, followed by the low murmur of voices, then a slammed door, had snapped him awake. He listened as someone walked up to the door then began fiddling with the lock. He knew it couldn't be Xander and Anya, it was only Thursday, they weren't due back for another three days. He tensed as he saw the handle, then slammed the intruder into the wall, gameface on and ready to fight.

"Fuck, Spike, gods, what are you doing," Xander yelped out from his position on the wall.

Spike blinked in shock, his grip on Xander's shirt never lessening. "Xander, what are you doing here, you're early, where's," he stopped himself at that, feeling the snarl curling in his throat. He knew that saying the cunt's name right now would not be a good idea. He fought back the small surge of happiness he felt at seeing Xander again, concerned by how tired and drawn he looked.

Xander looked away for a second as Spike slowly lowered him to the ground. "We, well, we had a fight." He didn't really want to talk about it, wasn't sure if he could talk about it without choking up.

"Lose all her money, whelp? Spank some waitress in one of those little toga outfits?" Spike followed Xander as Xander made his tired way into his bedroom, checking quickly to make sure that the envelope was still hidden under the mattress in Spike's room and wasn't lying out on the kitchen counter.

"No." The brief reply was all Spike got as Xander dropped his back on the bed, then fell back, throwing an arm across his face. He couldn't stand seeing this room, seeing their room, seeing her picture on the bedstand. He threw an arm out and began to blindly flail away at the table, knocking everything off. He felt a strong hand suddenly grab his wrist, stopping him. Xander tried to tug away, not putting much effort into it, knowing that Spike would just win.

Spike stared down, deeply concerned. Xander looked terrible even to his eyes. He was pale and drawn and it looked like he had been crying. Spike realized with a start that he had never witnessed Xander cry and was suddenly desperate to maintain that streak. He slowly knelt next to the bed, carefully setting Xander's arm down.

"Pet, you all right, something happen?" He had no idea how to begin to ask, if asking was even the right thing to do.

A bitter snort came from the body next to Spike. "Oh, everything is just fine. Just great. Just dandy, peachy keen, neato, boffo, terrific, stupendous, sublime." Xander kept his eyes shut, the scene replaying over and over in his mind. "Having a great time, nice place, beautiful room, beautiful woman, being catered to hand and foot. Even managed to win over $2,000 at blackjack. See, I can learn if I put my mind to it. Everything was just great. Yesterday was our anniversary and we went out, great dinner, better sex, just perfect. Then, this morning, I decided to go swimming, Anya said she didn't want to go, would meet me later. Said fine, would see her in a few hours. Went down, swam a few laps, got bored, decided to go back to the room. Opened the door. Found Anya taking it up the ass from some guy. Freaked out, thought she was being raped at first," Xander let out a tired laugh at that. "Really did, never occurred to me that she was a more than willing participant until I pulled the prick off her and starting beating his face in. She grabbed me, yanked me off, then went back to check on him. That's when I finally got a clue, when it all started to make sense. I should have figured something was up when she told me she had that daily massage appointment. Anyway, to make a long story short, after much screaming and throwing things around, she finally told me that she didn't love me, that she loved him, that we were there only because he was there for a convention. That it had been going on for over thirteen months and she just didn't know how to tell me. Did the only thing I could to try to have some dignity, grabbed my bags, threw some clothes on and walked out the door. Left her there fussing over him. Tried to make the grand exit, whirled around and told her not to come back. She didn't even look over, just told me that she hadn't planned to and that she would arrange to have her stuff packed and shipped to her. Left, got on a plane, came home."

"Xander," Spike heard the crack in his voice. "Oh, bloody hell, sorry, mate. I'm so sorry."

"What do you know about it," Xander hissed out, feeling the waves of pain wash over him. "How would you understand?"

"You do remember Dru, Xander," Spike kept his voice low and quiet, his emotions tearing him in two. One half of him just wanted to wrap his arms around Xander and never let go. The other howled to hunt her down and torture her for days, no years, for what she had done. "I do know what it's like, been there myself."

Xander nodded at that, remembering some of the tales he had heard from Angel as to how Dru had taunted Spike, opening flaunting her lovers. "Guess you do, just, why, I don't understand, I loved her, I gave her everything." Xander started to pant, trying to will the tears away. **Not in front of Spike, please, no, humiliated enough, not that, not that too** An unwelcome tear traced down his cheek, and Xander turned on his side, trying desperately to hide, wishing he had thought to crawl under the covers so that he could hide his face. He felt a tentative hand trace his back, the touch feather light.

"Xander, I'm sorry, she didn't deserve you, shouldn't have done that," Spike started. He had no idea what to say or do. "Just, wish I could bring her heart back for you."

Xander couldn't help smiling a little at that. Typical Spike, violence as affection. "Yeah, I know, can you just leave me alone for a little, don't really want to talk."

"Certainly," Spike moved to the doorway, pausing for a moment, resisting the urge to either wrap himself around Xander or rip the room to shreds. **Of course he would come back during the day, can't even go find something to kill** "If you need anything," again his voice trailed off.

Xander nodded wearily. "Thanks, Spike. I'll let you know." With that Spike left the room, heading quickly for his own. He grabbed his lighter, squeezing it so tight that it burst. He bent his head, then slowly walked to his own room, blackness filling his heart. He was helpless, he couldn't make this better, couldn't hunt her down and exact revenge. He was pathetic and sad, couldn't protect what he had come to view as his. He settled down on the bed, listening to the sobbing in the next room, each sound breaking his heart a little more.

Spike kicked the door again, arms full balancing the two pizza and the two six packs of beer. "Open the door, whelp, food's getting cold."

"Hold on, there in a minute," Xander called back. Over the last eight months, he and Spike had grown even closer. It had taken Xander a good three months to begin smiling again after the Vegas disaster. He had smiled only once during the first week back and that was when Spike had built the huge bonfire of Anya's belongings in the backyard. Spike had stayed with Xander those first few weeks, terrified of what Xander might do if left alone. It was Spike who talked to Anya when she called. Spike who informed her exactly and in detail of what he thought of her character. The memory made Xander grin whenever he thought about it now. You had to be pretty low if a vampire thought your character left something to be desired. Xander finally threw Spike out the night he realized that Spike was staying only because he thought Xander might harm himself. It was sweet, in Spike's own demented way, but it made Xander feel powerless. He appreciated the gesture though. Spike had been very kind to him, spending many a night sitting on Xander's couch. They still patrolled and Xander had discovered the joy of reflected anger. He had some inkling now of why Spike got off on it so much. Nothing like ripping something's head off while pretending it was your ex-girlfriend's. Xander limped a little faster to the door when he heard the loud kicks begin again.

"Oi, hurry up, blood's starting to clot." Every Saturday night, the same thing. Pizza and beer and some stupid movie. Xander was doing better, was almost back to his old self and Spike was determined to spend as much time with Xander as he could before his pet found a new girlfriend. It was only a matter of time, even if Xander seemed oblivious to the women throwing themselves at him when they went to the bar last night. Spike sighed, knowing he was only making it harder on himself by spending so much time with Xander, but those dark, deep eyes got him every time. Whenever Xander looked at him just that way when he asked Spike to do something, the still there traces of fear and hesitation, like Spike was going to leave him too, it just pulled his heart out and, no matter what his firm resolutions of the night before, Spike would just nod and say, "Sounds good, mate, see you then," then, back at the crypt, he would damn himself as an idiot and a fool.

"'Bout bloody time, took you long enough, what happen, get lost on the way," Spike called out as he pushed past Xander to set the food and drink on the table. He stopped suddenly, sensing something amiss. He turned around and his jaw dropped in shock. Xander stood there, arm in a sling, bruises covering his face and arms, leaning against the wall. Spike took three quick steps over and reached a shaky hand up, tracing his fingers over Xander's cheek, careful not to touch hard enough to hurt. "Bloody hell, pet, what happened to you, you didn't go out without any of us, what happened, what hurt you, where is it, I'll kill it, Xander," Spike sighed out, heart twisting, "Hells, your arm what happened." He carefully led Xander over to the couch, fussing about, trying to make sure that Xander was comfortable.

"Nothing attacked me, well, not demon anyway. I was walking out to my car in the mall parking lot, stopped to pick up some new boots for work, when this idiot backed straight out from a parking space without looking and ran right into me. Knocked me down, knocked me out, don't know how he managed not to run over me. Somebody saw, called an ambulance, went to the hospital. Have a dislocated shoulder, various bumps and bruises and a mild concussion." Xander watched as Spike suddenly grew even paler. He hadn't thought that was possible.

"When, why didn't you call, would have come, did you get the prick's name, pay him a visit, I will," Spike growled out, trying to calm the panic ripping through him. Hit by a car, he had been hit by a car. He could have been killed, what if the wheel had gone over his head. Spike stopped that train of thought immediately. No, no couldn't think about that.

"I'm not going to tell you who or where precisely because you will pay them a visit. I'll beat the little shit myself, thank you very much. I didn't call because it happened about 3:00 this afternoon and I knew you would try to come to the hospital and I didn't want you going out. Sunny day today you know." Xander glanced over, trying out a quick grin. He hadn't called because he knew Spike would be upset and, as much as he wanted Spike there, he wasn't going to take that chance. Spike didn't need to know that Xander had sat on the exam room table, dialing the first six digits of Spike's number over and over, the pattern calming him.

"Could have used the sewers, tunnels run right under the hospital, entrance right next to the crypt, no problem, should have called." Spike reached out again, unable to stop himself. He had to touch, had to feel the warmth under his fingertips.

"I know, but I didn't want you to worry," Xander said, closing his eyes as Spike ran his hands gently over the marks on his arms, the coolness soothing. "Didn't get out of there until about an hour ago, knew you were coming over."

Spike nodded. "You'll be fine, though, right? Nothing permanent?" He couldn't help the waver in his voice, and he suddenly looked away, hoping Xander hadn't heard.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Would you mind staying tonight, though. Doctor said that I can sleep and all that, just have someone check on me every few hours." Xander hurt like hell and didn't want to be alone. Actually, if truth be told, he did want to be alone. Just alone with Spike. He hadn't called anyone from the hospital, not wanting to worry any of the others. He just wanted Spike. Spike made him feel safe and happy and warm **and, wow, are the pain pills kicking in now** and Xander let out a huge yawn. "Drugged me up too, thought you weren't supposed to do that with concussions, but whatever they gave me knocked me out."

"Do you want to go lie down, here, let me help you," Spike stood, ready to pull Xander up with him.

"No, wanna stay here, hurts to lie flat, feels good like this," Xander murmured, drifting off. "Glad you're here, wanted to call, did, wanted to see you," his voice trailed off as he fell asleep.

Spike quietly went into Xander's bedroom, pulling the comforter off the bed. He gently draped it over Xander's body, then settled down next to him on the couch, pizza and beer forgotten as he focused all his senses on listening to Xander sleep.

Spike sat on the roof of the crypt, resting his arms on his knees that he drawn to his chest. He blew a stream of smoke into the air, feeling the heat of the ember on his fingertips before tossing the butt aside. The roof was littered with discarded cigarettes, nearly a pack in all. Spike simply reached down, pulled another cigarette out and lit it, the routine no more calming than all the times before. He slowly laid back, stretching out flat as he gazed at the stars. It had been three weeks since Xander was injured and Spike still wasn't over the shock. If anything, it was worse now than when it had first occurred. Spike had spent the first week at Xander's house, trying his best to take care of a very annoyed human. Xander didn't appreciate being fussed over, but had grudgingly been forced to accept Spike's help. Xander's shoulder caused him a lot of pain and Spike had taken the opportunity to do whatever he could to help. Including dressing and undressing Xander. That had caused many a sleepless day, especially since Spike hadn't had the opportunity to do anything about the frustration it caused, not in such close quarters. He had worked too hard to keep his feelings hidden to slip now.

Xander was doing much better now and Spike had been forced to leave. Tonight, Xander was out with the rest of the gang and Spike had begged off, needing some time alone to think. Xander had promised to call when he got back, knowing that Spike was still worried and the phone was right there, within easy reach. Spike just stared into the clear night sky, trying to sort out his emotions. Ever since the accident, he had been in a state of suppressed panic. He had never allowed himself to truly consider just what the implications were of being in love with a human. Sure, some part of him had always acknowledged that yes, if by some miracle he could have Xander, Xander would ultimately die. He had witnessed the pain this caused before, he had watched and, in truth, mocked, as other vampires lost their humans. He never understood until now why they just didn't turn their pets immediately and spare everyone the drama. But now, now he understood all too well. What he loved about Xander was his humanity. It brought out the part of William still buried in Spike, the faint glimmer of what he had been like before he was turned that still lingered there. As much as Spike might try to deny it, there was still more of William in him than he cared to face. Xander just forced what Spike had tried to suppress to return to the fore of his consciousness. And if he turned Xander, if he still could turn anyone that is, then that humanity would be all but destroyed and all he would be left with would be a pale shell. That would be worse than losing Xander completely. So, here he was, in love with a human and scared nearly out of his mind. He didn't know what to do, didn't know how to act, didn't know what to say.

Spike crushed the cigarette out suddenly and sat back up. He needed to talk to someone, needed help. He hated this, hated the weakness it revealed. But he couldn't face it alone. Alone. Spike dropped his head down, finally admitting what he had tried so long to deny. He was alone. Dru was long gone. He had no minions, no peers. The rest of the vampires hated him, along with the rest of the demon realm. He couldn't even go to Willy's for a drink anymore, not since he had nearly been killed when the entire bar joined against him. He was alone.

Spike slowly raised his head again, focusing on the belt of Orion, smiling slightly at the memories that brought forth. Not truly alone. He could always ask Angel. Angel understood what it was like to love a human. Deny it all they wanted, Buffy and Angel were still in love, would always be in love. Angel would understand. And he would walk in the sun before he breathed a word of this to his Sire. Angel wouldn't believe him, wouldn't want to even try to accept that Spike was telling the truth. He would just assume that it was some plot or other and then he would tell the Slayer and then all hell would break lose. No, that simply wasn't a choice. That meant there was only one other person he could ask. Only one other person who would understand absolutely and utterly. Only one person who could tell him what to do.

Spike stood and raised an arm to his mouth, knowing how truly desperate he must be if he was willing to do this. He bit down then dipped a finger into the blood that pooled out. Raising a hand to face, he traced the blood down the scar in his left eyebrow, focusing all his attention on picturing that face.

"Kat, please, what am I going to do? Kat, I need you." He felt the sudden burn, then dropped down to his knees, tears pouring down his face.

The small figure stood balanced perfectly on the highest point of the Sydney Opera House, facing straight into the fierce wind. The storm blew the jet black hair straight back from the pale face as lightening illuminated bright blue eyes. She stood still, letting the wind blow, feeling the electricity charge through the air. The gale winds howled around her, the rain and the force of the wind driving everyone else inside. The winds had been howling for a week, sounding like nothing less than some desperate cry of pain and grief. She drank in the noise, losing herself to the feel of the wind on her face, drenched to the skin by the torrential downpour which served to wash the tears from her face. Finally, she reached into the pack on her back, pulling out a small urn. She looked down, running her fingers over the carvings, tracing around and around the symbol of infinity carved into the lid. The winds picked up in intensity as she grasped the lid. She paused for a moment, then raised the urn to her lips.

"I love you. Always."

With that, she yanked the lid free then threw the ashes high into the air, the wind blowing the ash far and wide. Suddenly, the wind and rain stopped, the sudden silence deafening. She stood, head down, panting. She suddenly saw a drop of red drip down from her face, spiraling in the air as it fell to the ground. She raised a hand to her left eyebrow, feeling the blood drip down from the scar there.

"Kat, please, what am I going to do? Kat, I need you." The words sounded clear in her ear and she looked up, a brief smile crossing her face.

"Coming my sweet."

With that, she stepped forward, dropping lightly to the ground. She strode over to her car and reached across, checking to make sure her passport was in the glove compartment. Seeing that it was there, she pulled away and headed for the airport.

Willow looked up in surprise as the bell gently tinkled, signaling that someone had entered the Magic Box. "Sorry, we're closed," she called as she moved around the table to see who it could be, careful not stray too far out of sight of the others. Buffy moved to stand next to Willow, a stake automatically dropping into her hand.

"Didn't anyone lock the door," Buffy hissed.

"Yes, I know I did. And I did the closing spell," Willow replied. They stopped when they saw the small, slight woman standing in front of them. "Can we help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Spike," a clear voice started out.

Buffy immediately grabbed the front of the woman's jacket, holding the stake into her chest. "What do you want him for?" No one who entered a magically locked door looking for Spike could be of the good.

"That's not really any business of yours, Slayer," the woman said, smiling slightly. With that, she plucked the stake out of Buffy's hand and turned to Willow, ignoring the expression of shock on Buffy's face.

"Let's see, red hair, lovely skin, you must be one of the witches. Is Spike here, pretty sure he is actually, can you get him for me please?" Again, the same calm, even tone with just the trace of amusement.

Willow just nodded, a little afraid. "In, in the back, he's," Willow stopped, seeing Tara running into the back to get Giles. "He'll be right out."

"Thank you, and, Slayer, please put the sword down, not your style at all, have to get you something smaller, a nice dagger would do." With that, she turned to move to the back, just shooting Buffy another amused glance.

"So, what's the problem that your poor little Slayer can't handle," Spike called out. He stopped, seeing the woman for the first time.

"Kat, bloody hell, Kat, you're here," he raced across the room, picking her up and spinning madly in a circle. Laughter echoed in the air as the women locked her legs around Spike's waist. They smashed into a wall as Spike pressed a passionate kiss into her lips.

Xander watched, stunned and angry. Who the hell was this and why was Spike kissing her like that? Spike hadn't mentioned anyone named Cat for hells sake, what was she some kind of animal woman? His eyes narrowed as he tried to move forward, stopped only by Buffy's hands on his arms.

Kat leaned back, laughing as she ran her fingers through Spike's hair. "So, hear you got a chip in your head. About time someone put something in there."

"You bitch," came the instant reply.

"Prick. Put me down." Spike backed away and Kat slid down the wall, standing pressed closely into Spike. Too long, much, much too long since she had seen the vampire. "Missed you."

"Missed you, too." Spike stared down, he hadn't been sure she would come, hadn't known if she would grace him with her presence, not after their last parting. He knew he didn't deserve it, but still, it was so good to see her, to actually talk face to face instead of over the damn phone.

Kat reached up, tracing a finger along Spike's jaw. Still beautiful, so pale. A little thin, not getting enough to eat due to the chip. Probably due to how worried he had been as well. Her fingers moved higher, running along the scar. Her eyes darkened as she ran a finger down its length. Spike's hand moved her face, tracing the identical scar there.

"Father," Kat sighed out, the words drawn from her.

"Mother," the echoing sigh.

"Brother"

"Sister"

"Flesh of my flesh"

"Blood of my blood"

Everyone else in the room jumped back at the sudden surge of power that rippled through the room. The air had gone perfectly still while Spike and the woman stared into each other's eyes, their words dropping like stones into a pond.

"Right, enough of that," with a sudden shake of her head, Kat turned to face the silent stares. "Let me see if I can guess," Kat walked over to gang, protectively clustered together.

"Well, obviously the bottle blonde in the front is the Slayer, Spike, seriously, she does a much better job than you do, really. Slayer, don't fell bad, you're the first Slayer to actually manage to touch me with a stake since, Spike, when? That one with the nasally voice, sounded like Jennifer Tilly, well, I mean, Jennifer Tilly wasn't born then, so obviously not like she was imitating her or anything, just the whole Bullets Over Broadway thing, you know after Chazz drops her in the river, says, "Thank God I never have to hear that voice," something like that, remind me, rent that, great flick. Anyway, her."

"Think that was in the '20's, luv." Spike looked on, savoring the stunned expressions on their faces. Oh, this was going to be fun. Kat looked like she hadn't slept in a week and was clearly riding some caffeine and sugar high. What an introduction.

"Right, right, I remember, huge fight with her Watcher when she got her hair shingled. Okay, Slayer out of the way. The red head is easy that's Willow, you never said how lovely she was, men, they're all idiots, can definitely see why you decided to give up the lot of them, so if you're Willow then you," Kat turned to Tara who looked like she was desperately trying to sink into the floor, "you must be Tara. Don't look down, sweetness, you have such a beautiful mouth, so sweet. You two look so right, yes, so right. Quite a pretty picture."

Spike walked over to stand next to Kat as she turned to look at Xander, nervously biting his lower lip. **Please like him, please like him, please touch him, please for me, for me**

"And you must be Alexander." Xander's eyes opened, no one ever called him that. He wasn't even sure if most people knew that was actually his name anymore. He watched with trepidation as she opened looked him over from head to toe, a serious expression on her face. He felt like he was under a microscope and he tried desperately not to look away. Finally, unable to stop, he glanced at Spike. His mouth fell open at the expression on Spike's face. Spike looked terrified. In fact, he looked the way Xander had always thought he looked whenever his mother or father or Giles or Willow or anyone important to him for that matter looked at something he had done of which he desperately wanted them to be proud but of which he thought they would be ashamed. That same desperate longing for approval. He forced himself to look back at the woman, trying to draw himself up straight, wishing he wasn't still looking a little roughed up from the accident.

Kat just smiled up at him, then nodded once, firmly. "Alexander Lavelle Harris. It is an honor to finally meet you. I'm Katarina de Rien." With that, she held out her hand. Xander automatically shook it, feeling a sudden rush of warmth come across his skin. He looked back over at Spike and again was stunned. This time, Spike had the strangest mixture of relief and gratitude, mingling with some other look that Xander couldn't quite interpret.

"So, that's the gang, where's the Watcher," Kat's eyes sparkled at that. She tilted her head slightly then took a step forward, easily parting through the girls.

"Ah, Watcher, trying to sneak up on whatever has your Slayer under her spell," she called out.

Giles lowered the crossbow, his back still towards the woman. He had heard the commotion, then talking, and when he snuck a glance around the corner from his office in the back, he saw some creature with black hair talking to the gang who were watching her without making any sound. He grabbed the crossbow he always kept there and started to sneak out. It appeared however, that he had not been quick enough. He turned, drawing in a deep breath to steel himself for whatever this was.

"Mistress," he called out, immediately dropping to his knees and bowing down low. "Please, Mistress, forgive me, I meant not harm."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Watcher, get up." She waited a moment for Giles to comply. He simply shook his head no, still bowing down low. Sighing, she bent down and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please, get up, there'll be none of that here." A shudder went through Giles but still, he refused to stand. A low growl rumbled from her throat as she took a step back and ran her fingers through her hair. It had been a very, very long two days and she was not in the mood to deal with this. Fine.

"Watcher, I have given you a direct command. You will rise. You will look me in the eye. You will not call me Mistress ever again." Her voice changed. Gone was the mocking, almost sarcastic tone. Instead, this was clearly the voice of power. "Rise. Now. Look at me."

Giles stood, shaking, then forced himself to meet her eyes, battling all his teaching and training, terrified at what he would find.

"That's much better. Now, listen, I'm not here for any of the reasons you expect. I'm here because Spike called for me. The only time I ever want you to call me Mistress is if I'm standing over you in leather and with a whip and I've told you to call me Mistress, do you understand?" Kat smiled gently, the teasing tone back to her voice.

Giles just stared at her mutely, unable to speak. Katarina de Rien stood before him. And he was alive. Still alive. This had to be some kind of record. Usually, Watchers simply died from shock before she could make her judgment. His brain tried desperately to process what she said. Not here for him. Here for Spike. That couldn't be right. A puzzled frown formed as he tried to work this out. For Spike, but there was no way that Spike could know. . . He started back to himself, realizing that the Mistress was still gazing at him, a smile dancing on her lips. Obviously, he had missed some kind of question he was to answer.

"I'll take it that you understand, good," Kat turned back and walked quickly over to Spike, moving to wrap her arms around his waist and lean into his chest. "Goddess, I'm tired."

"Did you have a good trip? When did you get in?" Spike ran his hands protectively over her back, keeping an eye on the Scooby Gang. He could feel how exhausted Kat was and he knew this was when she was most dangerous, when her control was most apt to slip, even a slight loss could end in disaster. He closed his eyes again, grateful for what she had done. She had touched Xander, given him her hand no less. Made sure that he was safe.

Kat pulled away, pushing her hair off her face once again. "Did I have a good trip? Well, first of all I had to convince the idiots running the airline that, yes, first class on my boarding pass means first class on the plane. Morons overbooked again and tried to bump me down. Then, thanks to you," with that she poked Spike in the chest, "I was stuck on that plane for what, twenty-two, twenty-three hours. I truly hate you sometimes, I just want you to know that. You know how much I love to be in confined spaces. Bastard. Then, couldn't even use my fucking phone, oh no, not allowed, so I was reduced to using their phones to try to get Timothy to make sure he was going to pick me up once I got to L.A. and, of course, I've never bothered to memorize all his numbers, they're in the speed dial for hells sake, but I can't access the speed dial without using the phone. But I can't use the phone because they think it'll bring the plane down and I wasn't in the mood to try to convince them that, no, this plane simply would not be crashing. So all I have is the house number and, of course, I know full well he never checks his messages. And, thanks once again to you, you stupid pillock, do I have my laptop, oh no, I do not. So, don't even have that to play with. Had to buy some books at the airport and, while I love King and Grisham, would it kill them to have something else. Finally get to L.A. and I can finally use my phone, get a hold of Timothy's new boyfriend, whatever his name is, I just call them all darling, it's never worth the bother to learn their names they change so fast and find out that idiot boy Timothy actually managed to land an audition, can you believe, so I'm stuck at LAX, which is an outpost of hell, I am sure of that, and, for once, I can go through the short line in customs and when the imbecile there asks if I have anything to declare I reply, nothing but my genius and he looks at me as if I've grown two heads, and honestly there simply is no such things as education anymore. So, there I am with my one little carry on bag, no luggage and Timothy decides to show like three hours later. At least he brought the right car. Then I start to drive up, get to thinking about who knows what, miss the exit and have to turn around. Get to the damn hotel and they try to put me in a perfectly nice room I will admit but as I so carefully explained to them, I wanted the suite. I had a reservation for a suite. I will have a suite. Stopped short of actually yelling only because they realized that I meant it and was going to so finally got the suite. At that point, I decided I had better find you before I collapsed, came here, then Slayer over there gets stake happy. So, no, I did not have a good trip and all I really want right now is a nice, hot bath and a nice, rare steak and a nice, comfy bed. Xander, would you care to come with us? I would like it if you come with us."

Xander just stared in awe. Willow babble had nothing on this. "Um, I, well, guess," Xander swallowed hard. Apparently, Kat had used all the words available in the room. He shot a desperate glance over to Spike.

"Please, Xander, I would appreciate it if you would come with us," Spike asked softly, gently reaching out to prop Kat up. She was starting to list, her energy finally draining.

It was the use of his name that got Xander. Spike never said his name. "Sure, would like that." Besides, this way he could find out just who the hell Kat was and what connection she had on his vampire. Spike was HIS vampire and Xander couldn't help the jealous stings whenever he saw the little smile that crossed Spike's face every time he looked at her.

Kat smiled delightedly, "Fabulous. Spike, precious, you drive, please. Can't really remember what side of the road to use any more."

Spike caught the keys she tossed him, gathered up Xander with a quick nod of his head and led them to the door. He stopped abruptly, suddenly realizing someone was missing.

"Kat, where's Cassie? Did she stay at the hotel? The trip must have really tired her out."

"Um, well, no." Kat looked down, then took a deep breath. "Cassie's not here anymore, William."

"Mistress, oh Mistress, I'm so sorry," Spike reached out and crushed Kat to him, feeling the tears spill from her eyes, soaking through his shirt, burning his chest. "When? Why didn't you call?"

"Eight days ago, shit, maybe nine now, don't even know what day it is. And I didn't call because then it would be real, you know? It was for the best, she was so sick, but still," Kat pulled away slightly, shaking her head. She took a few calming breaths, concentrating on the feel of Spike's hand in her hair. "It was good. She painted you something, should be here next week with the rest of my stuff. Let's go, tired, hungry, bath, remember?" She took Spike by the hand and pulled him out the door, Xander trailing behind.

As soon as the door closed, everyone jumped. Buffy turned to face Giles.

"Well, I think I can speak for everyone here when I say, what the FUCK was that all about?"

Part Two

Giles dropped heavily into a chair, yanking his glasses from his face and tossing them across the table. His head fell back and he reached up to loosen his tie.

"Well, think this calls for a drink, Willow, er, could you possibly," he stuttered out, not caring that everyone would now know where he kept his scotch. His hands were shaking far, far too badly to reach for it himself. His thoughts raced as he pondered what had just occurred. He stared into the eyes of Death itself and she had merely given him a wink.

"Came because Spike called, but, but that's not possible, surely we would have known if Spike had ever met her," he muttered, tuning out the noises around him. He started when he felt Willow press the glass into his hand. Nodding gratefully, he took a huge swallow, the precious burn easing his panic.

"Giles, what was that, who is that, I mean, way wiggins." Buffy settled into the seat next to Giles. She was more frightened by Giles's response than she was by whatever that little thing that just barged in was. She was sure that who or whatever she was, Giles would know how to handle her.

"Yeah, Giles, who was that? Why were you bowing down to her, looked almost like you were worshipping her or something," Willow said, running a calming hand down his arm. Giles just took another drink, hands still shaking.

"Giles, was that really, I mean, I always thought she would be bigger, or have guards or something, not that she needs them, just, you know trappings," Tara's voice trailed off as everyone suddenly turned to look at her. She ducked her head down again, blushing furiously.

"You know who she is," Giles asked, watching Tara intently.

"Well, I, I think I do. I mean, I've just read about her, but, well that's her name and you bowed to her, so really, must be you wouldn't otherwise," Tara babbled, still not looking up. Willow reached out to take her hands, making calming noises as their fingers intertwined.

"Would someone please tell me who or what she is, enough with the mystery already, do I have to kill her, is she another sign of the apocalypse, just someone start sharing, please?" Buffy jumped up and started to pace, her frustration growing. She hated it when people kept things from her, hated feeling like she was just some stupid girl who was good only for her strength.

"Right," Giles let out a sigh then reached for his glasses, carefully polishing them then pushing them back up his nose. "That was Katarina de Rien." He paused and looked over at Buffy expectantly.

"Uh huh, knew that she introduced herself to Xander before the two of them drug Xander off, so who the hell is she?" Buffy's pacing increased, angry at being treated like a small child.

"She, she, well, she is an Ancient." Giles concentrated on breathing reminding himself how lucky he was to still be doing so. The last Watcher to speak to her and live had been old Isaac and that was in 1921, 1923? Somewhere along those lines. And even then she had ripped off his penis. A shudder ran through his body at that thought.

Willow just stared at him, eyes round with shock. "An Ancient. She's an Ancient. Oh my, Buffy, you tried to stake her, Giles, Buffy tried to stake her, oh, she's going to be angry, Buffy, you have to find her, have to apologize, I can't believe she let you do that, she must be planning something, and she knows Spike, why does she know Spike, why didn't you know she knew Spike," Willow paused to suck in a deep breath and Giles jumped into the gap.

"There is no record of their ever meeting. Of course, if she didn't want us to know then we wouldn't. She may simply have erased any of the records as well, you know." Giles looked down, pleased to see that the tremors in his hands had stopped. Now if he could only feel his legs again, all would be well.

"Guys, could you please speak non-Watcher for a moment." Buffy stood there, arms folded, tapping her feet, her patience gone. "Willow, why the hell would I apologize for trying to stake her, she walked in here asking for Spike, what should she expect. And why would there be a record of her meeting Spike, why is that so important?" She glared at them, furious for all the delays. "Just tell me what the fuck is going on."

"Sorry, Buffy, I would like to, truly I would, but this, this is, is, well, unprecedented. I don't know how to begin to explain." Giles reached out, searching for a pen. He needed to just a few notes down now before his traitorous mind attempted to erase the images.

"How about this, what do you mean she's an Ancient? She didn't look any older than me or Willow or Tara." Buffy plopped into a chair, a pout on her face.

"It means that she is older than time. The Ancients have existed as long as this world, maybe longer, no one knows for sure and they certainly wouldn't answer if you asked." Giles started only to be cut off.

"Older than time, so she's immortal, too? No, Buffy, she's not, just has a really long life span that equals immortal. Let's try again, so she's been around forever, why did you do the whole "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy" thing, just because she's old, that's not like you. I've seen you push right past old people in the line at the bank, so what's up with that?" Buffy snapped her gum, okay, really old girl, that she could deal with. "Is she allergic to the sun and all that?"

"Buffy, please, just, just listen quietly, this is quite serious. Katarina de Rien is an Ancient as I said. But she is more than that. She is of the most powerful order of Ancients, indeed, at one point, she was the leader of the order. But something happened, no one knows what, and she went off on her own. That was over three millennia past. Since then, she has simply done whatever it was that she wanted. The Ancients pride themselves on order and ritual. She is chaos." Giles stopped to take another sip of scotch, both to moisten his throat and because he needed it now that he was coming to the heart of the matter. "Still, even despite her estrangement from the order, she upholds certain traditions. She is the Executioner. If she arrives at your door, you are dead. It is as simple as that. The last Watcher she visited chose to stab himself through the eye with a pen rather than bear her wrath. You can see now why I would bow. I still can't believe that she let me live."

"The executioner, but, why, what does that have to do with the Council." Buffy shook her head, she was more confused than ever. "What does it have to do with me?"

"Everything, actually. The Ancients provide us with our power. It is their knowledge and teachings that form the basis of all we do. To cross one is to welcome death. Now, not only is Katarina the executioner, she also happens to hate the Council. Again, something happened just over a hundred years ago, and whatever small ties she had maintained to us vanished. Not only did she cut off all communications, she actively began pursuing those who angered her."

"So, she's of the bad. Fine, then how do we get rid of her?" She looked up to find Giles, Willow and Tara looking at her in shock. "What? I don't want Giles bowing and scraping to someone who hates him just because he's a Watcher even if he's supposed to worship her. That's not right, he never did anything to her."

"Buffy, you, you still don't get it do you?" Willow said, voice shaking. "You don't make her leave. There's nothing you could do to make her leave if she doesn't want to. If she wants to stay, she'll stay, if she wants to go, she'll go."

Buffy just tossed her hair, standing again. "Giles, they might have taught you to worship her or something, but, please, so she's old, so what. Please, you all are acting like she's all powerful and all knowing or something."

"That's because, basically, she is." Tara's quiet voice somehow still managed to fill the room. Buffy settled back into the chair, just staring at Tara. "It's not just that she's old, Buffy. It's that she's Ancient, do you understand the difference. She has been here since the beginning of time. There are some who think that the Ancients actually are time itself. She has seen everything, done everything, possibly does know everything. She holds the power of the universe in her hands. If she wanted, she could probably split the earth in two just be wishing it to be so."

"What," Buffy whispered, staring back and forth between them. "You mean she's basically a god."

"No," Giles shook his head. "No, not quite. But the analogy is apt. She has power like you can only imagine. Basically, if she wishes it so, it will be so." Giles sighed again, unsure of how to explain. "The elements are hers to command."

"So what you are saying is that she can control nature," Buffy started, only to be cut off yet again.

"No, Buffy, I'm saying that for all intents and purposes, she IS nature. That's why I called her Mistress. It is what she is, a Mistress of this realm."

Buffy just stared. "And she's here to see SPIKE, that can't be good." She jumped up and began to pace. "Wait, if these Ancients help the Council, then what is she doing with a vampire?"

Giles rubbed a hand across his face. "I don't know. As I said, she does as she wishes. And there was the break with the Council. But, still, a vampire. And she said he called." Giles looked up sharply. "What exactly happened before I came out? Did she say anything to Spike?" His eyes narrowed, trying to recall all he knew of both their pasts. There was nothing to indicate that they should even be aware of each other's existence.

"Well, she came in, Buffy held a stake to her, she just laughed then Spike came out and grabbed her like she was an old girlfriend or something. Then she came over and picked out who we were, introduced herself to Xander then you came out," Willow ticked the events off on her fingers.

"Did she or Spike say or do anything, well, odd, well, odder than," Giles sighed unsure of how to ask. The whole bloody situation was odd to begin with.

"You, you forgot that little ritual thing," Tara said. She perked up a little when Giles's head shot up at that. "You know that whole father, mother, brother, sister thing."

"Tara," Giles began, speaking very quietly and slowly, never taking his eyes off her face. "What exactly did they say and do?"

Tara's face scrunched up as she thought. "Well, Spike grabbed her and spun her around and then pinned her against the wall and kissed her. Then he put her down and she reached up and traced that scar on his eyebrow. She has one too, same spot and everything. She said father, he said mother, she said brother, he said sister, she said flesh of my flesh and then he said blood of my blood. Then there was this weird flare, felt like wind went through the room or something. Then she came over and talked to us." She smiled as Willow beamed at her proudly.

"Dear merciful heaven." Giles turned and grabbed the bottle of scotch from the table and splashed a huge amount into his glass. "No wonder we could never kill him." He picked up the glass and drained it in one huge swallow. "When he tells her how we've treated him," Giles eyes fell shut and he reached for the scotch again.

"Giles, what is wrong with you, why are you acting like this?" Buffy was starting to worry. "Please, was that important or something? What does it mean?"

Giles let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, no, not important at all, Buffy. It's just that the vampire that you told was beneath you, the one that we all have teased and tortured, the, the Fangless Wonder, I believe you called him, well, she has taken him as kin. We've managed to treat the family of the most powerful being in the world like shit."

They all just stared at him in shock as Giles reached for the scotch again.

Xander followed after Spike as he led Kat down the street. Xander watched as Spike carefully wrapped an arm around her waist, basically propping her upright. **Might as well just carry her** He couldn't stop the bitter thoughts as he saw how gently Spike was treating her. Almost like she were Dru.

"The Rover on the left." Kat's words were so quiet that only Spike could hear them. Her hands were shaking with the effort to maintain her control. She could still feel the viciousness and cruelty directed at Spike which swirled under the surface of the room and it was all she could do not to react. She knew that it was a combination of the stress of travel combined with the pain of losing Cassie that was making it so difficult. Knowing the reason behind the problem didn't help make it any easier, however. She wouldn't, couldn't just let go and let her anger wash them all away. No, that was not the answer. Let them live. She was sure the Watcher had figured out their mistake by this point and the torture of waiting for her revenge would simply make it all the sweeter. She had never had a problem with being patient. Not if the end were worth it.

Besides, destroying the Slayer and her friends would only serve to upset Spike's love. She turned her head slowly, looking at him once again. Spike was right, he had no idea how beautiful he was. Otherwise, he surely would not wear those clothes, surely wouldn't not hunch over like he was trying to hide that body. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his skin on hers. She smiled slightly, recognizing the sensations. Purity and light, innocence and bravery. No wonder Spike had fallen. She would have herself.

"Kat, open your eyes, that's a luv. Time to get in." Spike opened the passenger's side door and settled her into the seat. Xander clambered into the back as Spike moved around to the front. They pulled away and headed down the street.

"Where are we headed?" Spike stole a glance over, amazed that she was here. A part of him had honestly believed that he would never see her again, that their reconciliation would be limited to phone calls and the occasional package or letter. Never actual face to face contact.

"The Royal." She stirred and turned to look at Xander.

"Thank you for coming, I'm sure you have many questions, please, just, be a little patient, and I'll tell you anything you would like to know." A smile flickered across her face. "Anything at all. Remember that for later." The smile grew.

"You wouldn't," Spike snarled over at her.

"You have met me, right, Spike? Of course, I would." The grin grew as she leaned back into her seat.

"Right, well, you aren't the only one who can play that game. Xander, if there's anything you want to know about her that she doesn't answer, like, say what happened when she tried to dye her hair back to blonde straight from jet black, you just ask me, understand."

"Yes, but speaking of hair, I know what color yours really is. And what happened the first time you let Dru bleach it. You don't want to play this game, I always win. I know your middle name." The grin threatened to split her face.

"No." Spike growled again at that. "You would never."

"Never's an awfully long time."

Xander just sat back and listened to the bickering, fascinated by the side of Spike that he was seeing. Spike was just there, just being, not trying to impress anyone or threaten or scare or make them pity him. No, just being, just comfortable. They sounded like old friends. Or lovers. He shook his head sharply, cursing himself. Why did this bother him so much. Of course Spike had lovers, he probably had more lovers than hairs on his head. And Xander had met Harmony and Dru and it hadn't bothered him in the slightest. Of course, Harmony was such an idiot that it was obvious that Spike was merely using her body instead of his hand. As far as Dru, well, Xander was usually so busy trying to keep her from killing him that he hadn't actually had time to think of anything else. However, since he had been spending so much time with Spike, he had come to feel nothing but a cold, hard clench in his stomach at the very mention of her name. He knew how much Anya hurt him. He couldn't even imagine how much worse it had been for Spike.

Spike pulled into the hotel, gliding to a stop under the canopy. Xander got out, a little taken aback. He had gone past here countless times, but he had never been inside. The hotel screamed class and money and he had neither. Spike, however, was helping Kat out then tossing the keys to the valet as if he was born to be here. Xander loped along behind them as they crossed the lobby and headed straight for the elevators.

"What room," Spike looked over, seeing the Kat was looking a little better now that they were away from his friends. He let out a large sigh, glad that Buffy hadn't tried to do anything stupid. He knew that Kat wouldn't have been able to stop her reaction and that could have only ended in disaster. He glanced over to see that Xander was trying to shrink himself into a corner of the elevator, looking incredibly uncomfortable. Spike felt the familiar rage at all who had caused Xander to feel insignificant wash across him. **If only I didn't have this bloody chip**

"1412. And I'm not taking it out."

"Wasn't asking, luv. You've made your position clear."

"Just remember that and don't make me gag you to shut you up."

Xander started, looking between the two of them. **What the hell** It was obvious that they were talking about the chip. He was sure, however, that Spike hadn't said a word about it. This was getting a little creepy.

The elevator glided to a smooth stop and Xander watched, amazed as Spike stepped aside to let Kat exit first. Just like the gentleman that he wasn't. They walked down the short hall, then Kat pulled the keycard from her jacket pocket and led them inside.

Xander stared, amazed. The suite was beautiful, decorated in a tasteful cream and burgundy design. There was a fireplace, already lit, with couches in front of it. A bar ran along the far wall and there were doors on either end of the room. Kat turned immediately for the room on the right.

Spike walked over to Xander as he watched Kat walk away, still swaying slightly. "Going to run her a bath, she's awfully tired. Had a long flight and all and it's always disorienting to lose a day like that. Especially if she was traveling alone." Spike swallowed at that thought. Kat hadn't traveled alone for, what, at least fifteen years. She had always had Cassie. "Can you call room service, order supper for you both, make sure to get her a steak, rare and bloody. Caesar salad for her as well, but light garlic." A small smile, "Don't want to flinch all night. Whatever you want. We'll be out in a few."

Xander nodded and Spike started to stalk away. He paused then turned so that Xander could only see his profile. "Thanks, mate." With that, he followed Kat into the other room.

Xander picked up the phone and placed the order, amazed at how cool and calm he was. He was trying to battle back the familiar feeling of being out of place. He walked to stand in front of the fire, staring into the flames. He could faintly hear the voices in the other room, hear splashes. He wondered if Spike was washing her back. He wondered why he was thinking more about what Spike's hands would look like on her back then what Kat would look like naked. He wondered if maybe he should just stop wondering and enjoy the warmth from the fire. He slowly sank to the floor, looking at his watch. 12:45 a.m. He was tired.

"Xander, are you asleep," he heard her quiet voice in his ear and slowly turned his head, blinking sleepily. She was crouched next to him, a hand on his shoulder. The strange warmth spread through him again, radiating from her touch.

"Guess so, sorry, just comfortable, you know," he yawned as they stood. He saw Spike watching them closely, the same indescribable look on his face as when he had shaken her hand in the store.

"Well, food's here, came a little bit ago, but you looked so peaceful, didn't want to wake you." They moved to the table where Xander saw the plates set out, Kat's steak gone, a few vegetable remaining on the plate. A napkin had been draped over the salad bowl and Xander was amused to note that Spike made sure to stay on the other side of the table. His own dinner was simpler, just some pasta and bread. He looked over, catching Spike's eye.

"Sorry, no blood on the menu, checked, didn't think you would want steak tartare," Xander said as he started to shovel the food down.

Spike just raised a wineglass and Xander saw the rich color of blood. "Not a problem, pet, my Kat is nothing if not a Boy Scout, always prepared." He took another sip, feeling the richness of human blood coating his throat. So good. AB negative, his favorite. She had remembered. Of course she had remembered, she remembered everything after all.

Xander quickly finished his meal, a comfortable silence descending over the room. Xander caught himself staring back and forth between Spike and Kat, studying them both, slowly realizing how similar they looked. Same high, sharp cheekbones, same blazing blue eyes, same scar in the eyebrow, same air of amused detachment to all going on around them, same faint air of danger. He pushed the plate aside and stretched.

"So, um, thanks for the meal and all, but why do I have the feeling that's not why I'm here." There, bravado, that was always good.

Kat just laughed, a clear, happy sound. She looked much better, much calmer, the black hair brushed straight back from her face. "Spike, you are not a good influence on him."

Shaking her head, she picked up her wineglass and moved to one of the couches, the men following her. She patted the space next to her and Xander automatically sat down.

"No, I wanted to explain things to you myself. If you were with the others, then, well the Watcher would be telling you things which, while technically true, aren't entirely accurate. But why don't you ask me what you're curious about first, that might be easier." She put the wineglass on the small end table, absently reaching up to take Spike's hand. Spike had moved to stand behind the couch and was resting his hands on her shoulders.

"Well, I guess, who are you? I know, Katarina de Rien, but, well, um, what are you, I mean, I figured out that you're not human and not a vampire, and I don't think you are demon and you don't seem like a witch," Xander stopped, blushing.

"That's an excellent question. I'm an Ancient. That means that I'm older than time. I'm also immortal." The blue eyes stared calmly into his, the answers matter of fact.

"Like Spike," Xander started, ready to ask what would kill her.

"No, not like Spike. I cannot be killed. No matter what. There is no power that can destroy me." She reached over and took another sip of wine.

"Nothing, no wonder you weren't worried about Buffy." Xander let out a low whistle. "Wow, well, do you have, like, powers or witchcraft?"

"You could say that I have powers," Kat grinned a little. "Just a bit."

Spike snorted at that. "Yeah, pet. Like that hurricane that just almost destroyed Sydney. Had nothing to do with that, I'm sure."

"That doesn't count. I was upset."

Xander looked at her with a little bit of alarm. "Um, well that was my next question, you kept mentioning how long the flight was, where did you fly in from?" He thought back to the news coverage on the mysterious storms that had battered Australia last week. The wind and rain had just suddenly started, then lasted for a week. As suddenly as it started, it had stopped two days before. "Was that really you, you did that?"

"Flew in from Sydney. Ashamed to say that I did do that. As I mentioned, I was a little upset." She closed her eyes at that, trying to push back the pain.

"Oh, well, you said something about someone named, named Cassie. Is that why you were upset, did she," Xander stopped seeing the pain cross her face. Impulsively, he reached out, brushing a hand down her arm. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." Kat swallowed then turned to face Xander, leaving his hand on her arm. "Yes, she died. She was my lover for sixteen years. She developed leukemia about a year ago. It was very painful and, in the end, it was best she died."

Spike's hands tightened on her shoulders. He could smell the pain coming from her, could feel her agony in the corner of his mind that she owned. So brave, just telling Xander like that.

"Well, please, don't be mad, but, couldn't you just, you know, cure her or something?" He heard the growl start from Spike and moved quickly away.

"Spike, stop it, that's a good question. Yes and no. Yes, I could. But Cassie didn't want me to, she, she wanted to stay with me for the course of her life. She didn't want me to be afraid to be without her. And that's what curing her would have meant, that I couldn't be without her. She would have been with me, but then again, she wouldn't. I would have changed a fundamental part of her just to be with me. Nothing would be the same if I did that." She ran a finger around the rim of her glass, following her fingers with her eyes. She had respected Cassie's wishes. But it had been close. That last day, as she listened to the labored breathing, heard the heart slowing, saw the pain, it had been very, very close. All she needed to do was stretch out a hand, just release a tiny, tiny stream all that ran through her and she would have Cassie forever. And Cassie would hate her for it. But it had been close, her hand had been opening over the center of Cassie's chest when that last breath was breathed out.

"Oh," Xander understood completely. "Like if anything happened to Willow and I was a vampire I could turn her but she wouldn't be the same."

Kat nodded, smiling slightly. Spike had been right about this one. Deeply empathetic. Could develop that, interesting possibilities there. "Pretty much, just no demon possession, nothing like that."

"Speaking of vampires, what's the deal with you and Spike? I mean, what was that thing you guys did, you know that whole blood of my blood thing and why do you have the same scar?" Good, he managed to get it out calmly. He waited, knowing what would come next.

"Spike is my family. The 'thing' as you called it is, well, it's a connection ritual. Reestablish the bond. The scar isn't a scar. It's a brand. It marks him as being part of my order."

Xander's mouth dropped open at that. "But I thought he was in Angel's family."

The flames shot out of the fireplace before he could react. "Shit, oh man," Xander jumped back as the couch caught on fire.

"Sorry, sorry," Kat called out. Suddenly, the fire stopped and with a small shake of head she looked around the room. "Spike, you okay back there?"

"Oh, just lovely, at least I thought to duck when I heard Peaches's name." He slowly picked himself off the floor, a scorch mark on the side of his face. "Xander, word of advice, don't ever just say my Sire's name like that, tends to upset her."

Xander merely nodded, shocked. The flames had come straight out and wrapped around Kat. However, she was completely untouched. **Guess she does have powers** a hysterical part of his mind noted.

"Bloody hell, what a mess, Spike, let me get that," she reached up and rubbed the soot off his cheek. "Xander, you hurt?"

"No, just a little freaked. And the couch is," he stopped. "Well, the couch was toast. Not now."

"Told you I had powers." Kat settled back down, picking back up her wine glass. The room was completely restored. Xander carefully settled back down next to her.

"Believed you before, didn't have to set things on fire to prove it. Um, what was it that Giles was going to tell the others that would be true but not accurate?"

"That since your precious gang had been so kind to my kin here, that vengeance would be had." Her voice went cold and Xander flinched back. She softened her tone and placed her hand on Xander's leg. "That is the truth, they will pay." A cruel smile danced her lips as she thought of what she would make them do. "The inaccurate part is that all of you will pay. Xander, you have nothing to fear from me, not now, not ever. You have been a true friend to William and that will not be forgotten."

Xander's eyes lit up a little. "William, huh? So, how long have you and Spike known each other?" Family, if they were family then she would know family like secrets. "When did you meet bleach boy, bet you could tell some stories," Xander grinned, his mood lifting.

"Met me the night after I was turned." Xander jumped, Spike had been so silent that Xander had almost forgotten he was there. He watched as they exchanged a long look. "Angelus knew she would like me, took me to see her."

Those identical blue eyes had darkened at the mention of Angelus and Xander felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. "That's how you met?"

"Yes," Kat said, her eyes still locked with Spike's. They all sat there in silence for long moments until Xander suddenly yawned uncontrollably, breaking the spell.

"Tired, pet?" Spike moved to stand by him, hovering just slightly closer than necessary. It had been a long night and he was concerned. Xander wasn't quite back to full strength.

"Yeah, should get back, car's at the Magic Box though." Xander's eyes were closed and he didn't look inclined to move.

"Don't be ridiculous, there's a nice room right over there. You're staying. The house will be fine for one night." Kat's tone of voice left no room for argument.

"Fine by me," Xander yawned out. Spike reached out a hand and pulled him to his feet, following him into the room.

"You all right, luv, I know it's a lot to take in," Spike began. Xander just shook his head.

"No, makes sense somehow, just tired," He pulled off his shirt and pants and Spike was treated to a brief glimpse of Xander's firm body before Xander crawled under the covers. "Talk tomorrow, there's a lot more you aren't saying," he began before fading off to sleep. Spike moved over, pulling the covers up.

"Night, Xander," he said quietly, tracing a finger down the side of Xander's face. He slipped back out into the other room. Kat had turned off the lights and was sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. Spike sat down behind her and pulled her back so she was resting against his chest.

"So, you love him." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes." Spike didn't bother lying. Would have defeated the point of calling her here and, besides, she would know anyway. He decided to change the subject, not ready to discuss this yet. "You do realize that my Sire is going to hear that you're back."

"Of course. Didn't sit there in the middle of the LAX terminal for three hours for nothing I hope. Someone was sure to see me." The words were spoken without a single trace of emotion.

Spike nodded. "Still hate him?"

"Of course." Now there was heat, a ripple of suppressed rage.

"Fire's nice." Spike rested his head on the top of her hair, breathing in the familiar scent.

"Isn't it." Kat moved slightly so that Spike's head was resting on her shoulder.

They sat there, lost in memories, both remembering the first time they had sat together in front of a fire, thinking back to the night they met.

The rain poured, drenching all under the pitch black skies. The wind howled through the streets, driving all but the bravest or stupidest inside and before a warm fire. The gas lamps cast only a paltry glow, unable to drive away the chill. The night was vicious and cruel, a knife's edge to the air, cutting into those who had the misfortune to be trapped outside.

The sound of footsteps suddenly echoed down the street as four figures moved from pool to pool of light. The light reflected off pale skin and dark hair, drawing out red highlights in the dark blond hair of the man trailing at the end of the pack, his hand held by the woman in front of him. His eyes darted to and fro, stunned at the new sensations washing over him. Everything was so much more alive, so much more real, so much clearer now. He felt like a blindfold had been yanked off his eyes and he was finally able to see for the first time. He could hear the conversations going on behind the closed door, smell the food on the tables, almost taste the blood that was flowing under the skin of the few people they had encountered. He licked his lips, the craving growing strong. He needed it, desired it, it burned in his veins.

"Not yet, no, not yet, going to see my Mistress, lovely Mistress, she will like you, she will let me keep you," Dru sang out as she drew him next to her. They stopped in the street, Dru tilting her face up to look into William's eyes. She smiled, seeing the yellow glow roaming over her face. "Yes, my childe, you will be my childe. Daddy has me, I will have you."

"Anything you wish," William replied, leaning down to kiss his new lover. He suddenly bit down on her lower lip and groaned as he began to lap away the blood. Suddenly, firm hands yanked him away.

"Not here, people will see." The rough voice growled in his ear and William instinctively flinched back, his head dropping down in submission. Angelus kept his hands firmly on William's thin shoulders, then dropped his voice into a husky murmur. "There will time enough for that later, time is something you never again need fear."

With that he stepped back, then turned and resumed his place next to Darla. He picked up the pace and they quickly approached a tall, imposing house, set slightly back from the road, a gate barring their way. Angelus simply reached out and pushed the gate open, drawing them all in behind him. They approached the dark door, arranged in a line behind the vampire. The only light in the house came from the flickering of candlelight in the front window. Angelus lifted his hand, then raised the heavy knocker. Bang. Bang. Bang. The noise resounded in the stillness of the night. He paused a few seconds, then lifted the knocker again. Bang. Bang. Bang. He settled back, waiting for the answer.

The door was suddenly yanked open. "Ah, Angelus, and how are you this evening?" The clear voice cut through the night. William could feel the warmth pouring out the door, could smell something sweet seeping from the room revealed behind the small figure.

"Have a present for you. Something Dru found." He simply stood in the doorway, making no attempt to enter. "May we come in?" He turned slightly, casting a hand back to reveal Darla, Dru and William.

"Certainly," she replied a puzzled expression on her face. It cleared when she saw William. "Oh, I see. Please, do come in. My home is your home." With that, she moved out of the way, allowing them to enter. Angelus bent down, nearly in a full bow as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Mistress, lovely as always, that color suits you," he murmured in her ear, turning them slightly so he could watch the expression on Darla's face. Darla simply stared at him icily, not rising to the bait.

"Don't even bother, Angelus, you know that Irish blarney of yours doesn't work on me." Katarina moved over to Darla, running a hand down her arm. "You look beautiful as always, my dear."

Darla nodded, then pressed her own kiss to Katarina's lips. She smiled slightly as Katarina ran her tongue lightly on her bottom lip, a matching smile on her face. They heard the low growling start behind them and broke apart, Katarina turning to raise an eyebrow to the vampire.

"Never start games you can't win, haven't you learned that by now?" She turned to Dru, her expression softening as she looked into the dark, mad eyes. "And you, my sweet, you look positively radiant."

Dru smiled down, her skin tingeing the palest pink at the compliment. "Oh, Mistress, it is so right now. I have found him, found my childe, he is so pure, so right. William, come here, meet the Mistress, she will like you, she must like you," Dru suddenly spun back around, her eyes wide and frightened. "You will like him, Mistress, you will, I know it." She pulled William forward, cooing softly. "So pretty, mine, all mine."

William gave himself over to the tug of Dru's hands. Those hands that had held him as he suddenly woke that night before, terrified at the state in which he found himself. The hands that had brushed through his hair, calming him during those first panicked moments. The hands that had pulled away his clothes, stripping him bare. The hands that had stroked him, making him harder and harder. The hands that had cradled his face in her hands as she slowly slid down his body, finally enveloping him in deep inside her womb. The hands that had wiped the tears away afterwards. The hands that had held his mouth to the neck of the flowergirl she had given to him, teaching him what to do.

"Mistress, this is William." For once, Dru's voice was even and her gaze steady.

Katarina simply looked William over from head to toe, taking in his clothing, the corner of his glasses still peeking out from a pocket. The dark blond hair, the high cheekbones, the blazing yellow eyes.

William started when Dru suddenly squeezed his hand. "Concentrate, please, show her your other face, the one I first saw."

He nodded, still habitually drawing in a breath as he focused on letting his human face come to the fore. It was difficult, but after a few moments, he felt the fangs retreat, felt his forehead smooth out. He ran his tongue on the inside of his teeth, missing the sharp edges of the fangs. He had a moment of panic, what if he couldn't change back, but it passed as Dru suddenly dropped his hand and began clapping merrily.

"Oh, very good, I'm so proud of my childe." She kissed William quickly on the cheek then turned back to Katarina. "You see now why I had to take him. He was so sad, so lonely, I couldn't leave him be."

"Yes, Dru, I see that. He is lovely." Katarina slowly turned back to Angelus and Darla. "May I speak with you in the other room for a moment?" There was the faintest trace of anger in her words. They nodded and Katarina returned her attention to Dru. "Precious, I must talk to Angelus and Darla, you stay here with William, we will be back shortly." She watched carefully until Dru began to nod. She turned on her heel and stalked into the next room, the vampires trailing closely behind.

William stood silently, straining to hear the words floating out to him. It was so strange to be able to hear like this, so strange and wonderful. Phrases slowly drifted into his consciousness.

"When did she do this?" "No one was with her," "You know that she cannot" "If you are certain," disjointed portions floated out, but it was always her voice, the voice of the blue eyed woman. He could smell the power on her, it intoxicated and scared him at the same time.

Katarina whirled around, the fire snapping behind her. "A childe, she took herself a childe and never of you noticed. When did she do this? Just what were the two of you doing? No one was with her? You know that she cannot be left alone for long." She began pacing back and forth, the flames following her motions. The vampires reflexively took a step back as she paced towards them, fury rippling in her eyes. "You knew that you would have to take constant care when you took her as yours, Angelus. Did you forget about that, off playing with Darla?" Darla let a smirk slip across her face. It was quickly gone as Katarina slapped her, hard, snapping her head back. "And you, did you put this idea in her head, where did she come up with this?" Katarina stepped back, a hand creeping up to push a lock of hair out of her eyes.

"Mistress, no, I would never," Darla gasped out, pressing into a corner. "She said nothing, not even in all her ramblings, we didn't know. She slipped away from us last night, she was only gone a few moments, I swear. It was done before we could stop her. She wouldn't let him go, wouldn't let him out of her grasp."

Katarina just stared at her, then turned back to Angelus. "This is your problem. How do you propose to solve it?"

"I will take him as mine." Angelus stared back, willing himself to match her gaze.

Her eyes narrowed at that. "Really. You would take on another childe?" She turned her back to him and paced slowly back and forth, reaching out with her senses. She slowed, probing at the emotions running in the next room, feeling the passion and rage burning there. A slow smile crossed her face. She knew now why Dru had acted as she had. There was a method to this madness. The fire that raged in Dru's new toy was brighter than almost any she had ever encountered, mind and heart warring for control. Light and darkness in equal parts. Limitless potential and an exquisite capacity for pain. This, this would be interesting. She turned back around, settling her face into a calm mask. "If you are certain, then why not," the words accompanied by a shrug.

"It does not seem that it will be that difficult. I have seen him around town. He is nothing, just a poet. And a bad one at that. I do not know what Dru was thinking, taking him. But I will take him as mine. The responsibility will fall on me." Angelus smiled slightly. "I do not expect that I will have to worry about him long. Probably won't last a week."

Katarina suddenly laughed. "Oh, Angelus, you just don't understand, do you? You think that you will be able to simply break him to your will. Fine. He is yours. Do him right." She turned and opened the door, stepping back to allow Darla and Angelus pass in front of her. "Dru, come here." Dru obediently came over, licking the blood off her lips, William standing with eyes slightly glazed behind her.

Reaching out, Katarina took Dru's hands. "Dru, listen to me carefully. Daddy is going to take William as his childe as well, it is for the best. This way you can just enjoy him, not worry about anything, just let him be with you." She smoothed a hand down Dru's hair, trying to ensure that Dru stayed focused on her words alone. "He won't take your childe away, just help. Do you understand?"

Dru nodded, her eyes unfathomable pools of blackness. "Yes, Mistress. Do you like him?"

Katarina pulled her into a quick embrace. "Yes, very much. I need to speak to him now, then he will be yours again." She stepped back, allowing Dru to turn and pull William to her. Dru led William into the library then kissed him on the cheek, smiling and exiting.

William looked around the room, unconsciously stepping over to the shelves and running his hand reverently over the spines. The cases ran from the floor to the ceiling high above. Every inch was crammed full of books and there were yet more piled in every corner. He leaned closer, the heady scent of the words filling him. He suddenly pulled back, instinctively growling. No, this was part of his past. It had nothing to do with who he was now. He growled louder as an unruly hand still gently caressed the leather on the spine of the volume before him.

"Difficult, isn't it?" The quiet words sounded in his ear and he turned, startled. He hadn't heard her move. "Trying to resolve who you were with who are you. Where one ends and the other begins."

William just stared down, uncertain as to what he was to do, what to say. Familiar blue eyes stared back at him, waiting patiently for an answer. "Yes," he finally sighed, giving in to the confusion raging through him. "I feel so different now, so free, but I can still feel who I was, and I don't understand," he stopped when she placed a hand on his arm. His eyes shot open as the power whipped through him. He couldn't turn away from those eyes, no matter how desperately he tried, no matter how much he needed to. He felt like he was being laid bare before her, no secrets left inside. He could hear her heartbeat, was still a little shocked at the silence in the space where his echoing beat should have returned. Finally, she pulled away, only to reach down and take him by the hand. She led them to the low bench in front of the fire, turning to face him.

"Listen to me and listen carefully, I will only tell you this once. Angelus has agreed to take on the duty of raising you as his childe. As you may have noticed, Drusilla, while perfect in her way, is not stable enough for such responsibility. I know you don't have any idea about what all this entails, but, believe me, she is not able to raise you right. Angelus can. So, from now on, he will be your Sire. You are to heed his words. That does not mean you must simply do as he says," she began to smile at the thought. "Not that you would even if I said so. You have such depths in you that you have never even realized, such power and glory waiting to be claimed. Angelus will teach you well."

She stood and began to pace again, her hands twisting over one another. "You have such passion residing in you, I fear it will burn you away." She stopped, suddenly reaching down and grasping his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "You wear your heart on your sleeve, there for all to see. You must not do that, you cannot do that any longer. Find some way to hide, some other person to be, at least until you grow stronger. And you will grow stronger. I can see that clearly." She released her grip, taking a step back. "A word of advice. Watch your heart. Dru is already residing there. Do not give it to Angelus as well. He will rip it out and hand it back to you, again and again and again. Beware."

William nodded slowly, drinking in the words. "Why, why are you telling me this?" He was startled by the sound of her laughter spilling down.

"Because you interest me. And there is not much that interests me these days. I will be watching to see what becomes of you, see what you do. Do not be afraid to become what you are. You were born to this, it is your destiny. Do not hide. You can be so pure. It is all there, all there waiting for you." She settled down on the bench next to him.

He turned, needing to face her. He could feel her heartbeat, smell her blood. Unconsciously he bent down, fangs descending, an arm suddenly snaking around her waist. With speed he had never suspected he possessed, he pressed his teeth to her neck. He pressed down, only to find that he could not break the skin. She just laughed and pushed him away.

"As I said, you interest me. Be glad that is so, if I had not stopped you, you would now be dead." Katarina carefully pushed his head away, trailing a finger along the ridges on his brow. "Lovely, just lovely. Dru always did have taste."

William bent his head, ashamed and confused. "Did I do something wrong, I've only, only," he stopped as the old, familiar feeling of embarrassment washed over him. "Not sure why I did that."

"Don't apologize. Don't ever apologize for who you are. If you remember nothing else, remember this. It is your nature, it is who and what you are. I stopped you only because this is one of the reasons you need to heed your Sire. They should have explained. I am not human, I am something, well, something else. You cannot taste my blood. My blood is death to you. That's the only reason I stopped you. Actually, that was rather impressive, I take it you haven't yet taken your own victim?" She waited for the hesitant shake of his head. "Time to change that."

Katarina moved over to the door, yanking it open, the veil of protection she had erected disappearing into mist. She had wanted their conversation to be private. "Angelus, it is time to start your duties. Your childe needs to feed. Take him. Teach him."

The vampire moved quickly to collect William, leading him from the room. They moved to the door, Dru stopping to drop a quick kiss on Katarina's cheek.

"Good night, precious, you have chosen well." Katarina stood in the doorway, watching them stalk into the night, admiring the picture they made. She watched as William turned, catching her gaze, walking slightly sideways, never looking away until they turned the corner. "Oh, Angelus, you have no idea what you've done." She closed the door, fastening it tightly shut.

His face slammed into the wall and he heard the bones shatter in his cheek. "What the blazes were you thinking, going after those people there, in public, in front of everyone?" Another loud snarl and he was tossed to the other side of the room, striking it hard with his back. He looked back up, unwilling to drop his gaze.

"I wanted them, decided to have them. I bloody had them before anyone saw, what is your problem?" Spike was amazed at how strong his voice was, how steady and firm. Inside, he was shaking.

Angelus just picked him up by the throat, holding him in the air. "Seriously, William, do you even think at all? Have you not paid attention to a thing I've said?"

"Stop calling me that," Spike managed to grind out, his vision beginning to darken from the pain.

"What, William," Angelus sneered out, drawing out the syllables. "What do you want me to call you, Spike, stupid name, why would I ever call you that?" He dropped Spike suddenly to the ground, drinking in the moans coming from the body beneath him.

"Because I said so." Spike suddenly kicked out a leg, catching Angelus square on the knee, dropping him to the ground. He used the momentary distraction to pounce on his Sire, bashing his head on the ground. "Don't want to use that nancy boy name any more, need something manly and cruel. Besides," he reached out and grabbed the railroad spike. "Seems appropriate after tonight." It had taken three months, but he had finally tracked down the bastard who had ridiculed him in front of Cecily a lifetime before. He had gotten his wish when Spike slammed the spike through his skull.

Angelus reached up and shoved Spike away. Spike just rolled with the blow and landed in a low crouch on the other side of the large room. He slowly stood, never taking his eyes off Angelus as they began to circle one another, each matching the other's feints. Suddenly, so quickly he could not see it, Angelus spun a kick at his face. Spike just managed to flinch his head back in time to miss the blow. He ducked into the small space left open by the attack and grabbed his Sire's arm, throwing him over his shoulder. Angelus simply held Spike's arm as he fell, dragging the slim figure down on top of him.

"I told you to leave them alone, why must you always defy me, time to teach you a lesson," Angelus panted out, pinning Spike's arms to his sides. He stood, yanking the struggling Spike with him, dragging the other vampire over to one of the pillars running down the center of the room. He slammed Spike's head into the pillar, knocking him unconscious. Angelus walked over the still body, grabbing the rope coiled in one corner. He roughly tied Spike to the pillar, arms tied behind him, legs strapped tightly together. He looked the situation over, satisfied, then slapped the still unconscious vampire.

"Time to take your medicine." Spike opened his eyes slowly, taking stock of the situation. He was tied to a pillar with a very angry Sire before him. He licked his lips, pupils darkening in anticipation of what was to come.

Angelus drew an arm back and slapped him. Then again. And again. And again. Over and over until Spike's head was swimming from being knocked first one way then another. "Act like an infant, I'll treat you like an infant. I know you understand simple commands. What was so hard about 'No William, you not yet, wait until they go into the alley' Something too hard about that for you, you couldn't wait another half minute. Lack even that amount of control?" The words hammered into him as Angelus moved to stand next to him, reaching around to run a hand down his face. "Can't wait, can you, haven't learned a thing in these last few months. It's not all just blood and violence, no, there can be so much more." With that Angelus gently ran a hand down his side, pressing closely into him. "Stealth can be so much better." Spike let out a hoarse scream of pain as Angelus suddenly slid the knife he had concealed in the palm of his hand into Spike's side. "You see, never saw that coming."

Angelus reached back, cutting the rope holding Spike's arms free, but leaving his feet bound. Spike collapsed to the floor, blood pouring out down his side. He tried to pull away but was stopped by the ropes. Angelus stalked over and kicked him in the ribs, purposefully striking the precise location of the wound, tearing it open again. "Never learn, never stop to think, what am I going to do with you." A cruel smile crossed his face. "Yes, what I am going to do indeed."

Spike just panted as he heard the sound of his feet being freed. He concentrated, trying to gather his strength. He felt his shirt being ripped away, followed quickly by his pants. He was soon naked, exposed and blood drenched on the floor. He closed his eyes, waiting for the blow.

His head snapped back as when he felt the cool tongue begin cleaning his wound. "Whatever I am to do with you, childe, you drive me so mad," the words caressed across his skin, drawing an involuntary shudder. A possessive hand spread across the small of his back, the broad expanse nearly spanning the breadth of his waist. "So mad," a sigh across his skin as the tongue lapped up the blood, tracing the lines of his ribs. Spike closed his eyes, concentrating on nothing but the feel, the gentleness of the touch as Angelus began to run his fingers up and down Spike's side. He heard the sound of Angelus's shirt being pulled over his head, the loud thud, thud of the heavy boots hitting the floor, the scrape of leather as the belt was pulled out.

Angelus lifted his arm back and brought the belt down hard across Spike's ass. The skin always turned that lovely shade of red, so bright against the pale flesh. He leaned back again, putting more force into this blow. "Yes, need to beat some sense into you, teach you a lesson." His eyes blazed bright as he set to work, scoring the flesh with mark after mark.

Spike clenched his jaw, trying desperately not to cry out, not to give Angelus that satisfaction. His arms began to shake but still he did not move. He fell into his mind, his thoughts spinning back to Dru, to the feel of her hair curled under his nose, the scent of it filling his senses. Still he could feel the pain rip through him. He knew that Angelus had not yet begun, that the end was not near. He concentrated harder, hearing the sound of Dru's voice saying she loved him, that he was hers. The pain began to overwhelm him and he whimpered, just a little, just enough to keep the screams from letting free. Further down, further back, reaching for some place of safety. Finally, he slipped fully away, into his most secret place. The sound of flames rippling, a gentle touch on his face, clear blue eyes, so like his own. He slowly lifted his head back up, strength flowing back into him as he could faintly hear her laughter.

Angelus stepped back, feasting on the vision below. Spike laid out bare, red from the wounds he had given him. He reached over and picked up the small bowl of water from the table behind him. Kneeling down, he gently began bathing the wounds, a calming purr rumbling out. "There now, not that bad, if you would only listen." He leaned down and began to kiss his way along each of the stripes, bathing them with long swipes of his tongue. "Just do as I say, it would all be just fine." He kissed his way up Spike's spine, lavishing profligate care on each ridge, his hands firmly on Spike's waist.

A shudder ran unwillingly through Spike's body as he arched into the cool mouth. He craved this nearly as much as blood, the care and attention that was poured into him. Angelus was so distracted, so busy trying to deal with Darla and Dru that he had little time to give to Spike. But if Spike could just anger him, just bring his blood to a boil, then he received all the attention he could stand. It always ended the same way, first the punishment then the pleasure, the pain and ecstasy merging into one haze of pleasure.

"Just listen to me, wouldn't be necessary," cool fingers began to press into him and he spread his legs wider, allowing easier access. A hand reached down to grasp him, moving in time to the fingers inside him. Sharp fangs sliced the skin at the base of his neck and Spike was unable to suppress the moan that it wrenched from him. Angelus leaned down and began to suck at the wound, slowly drawing the blood into his mouth. He leaned down, nudging Spike's head with his own until Spike turned, just enough so that Angelus could reach his lips. They kissed frantically, the taste of the blood inflaming them both. Wrenching away, Angelus pulled back, positioning himself between Spike's legs. Without warning, he slammed fully into Spike, relishing the scream his action produced. Finally, finally his childe had broken, his stubborn pride giving way. He pumped hard, giving neither of them a respite, driving them to completion. He leaned on Spike's back, draping him weight completely on the pale body. He nuzzled into Spike until Spike turned, baring his neck, submitting completely. Angelus sank his fangs in, pulling hard. Their climaxes hit them both as Angelus began to drink, rocking them back and forth. Finally, they collapsed to the ground as Spike's arms finally gave way.

"Learned your lesson, childe? I always do know best," Angelus grunted as he slowly pulled out. Spike didn't reply, sprawled exhausted on the floor. Angelus quickly pulled his clothes back on, them stopped, tossing Spike's shredded clothing onto him.

"Get dressed. Dru is waiting for you." He stalked out of the room, leaving Spike bleeding on the floor. Spike just lay there for long moments, the sound of flames roaring in his mind.

Part Four

Xander opened his eyes slowly, a little dazed. There was something wrong with the light in his bedroom. Even after rearranging the room after Anya left, the light still came from the west. Now, now it was muted and dim and the faint glow seemed to be coming from the east. He blinked a few times, trying to sort out the strange noises. Not his bed, then where? He sat up suddenly, looking around in panic for a moment before remembering where he was. That's right, still at the hotel. He vaguely remembered stumbling to bed, exhausted after the night's events, still a little weak and sore from the accident. He looked around slowly, until his eyes lit on the small clock on the dresser next to the bed. 10:07.

"Shit," Xander yelped as he leapt from the bed. "Oh shit, oh shit," muttered over and over as he staggered around the room, trying to find his clothes. He was late for work, no, really, really late for work and that wasn't going to go over well. He hopped on one foot, trying to pull his pants on while simultaneously tying his boot when he suddenly sat down hard on the edge of the bed, laughter overtaking him. He would be late for work, very late for work, if, in fact, he had work today. However, being as it was Sunday, he actually was about to be very, very early. He laughed harder, picturing the look on Spike's face if he had seen this little display. It was bad enough when Spike had taken to moving all his clocks and watches ahead one minute a day until he had finally caught on the morning he was an hour early. This would amuse the vampire to no end.

Xander slowly stopped laughing as he thought about Spike, thought about what had happened the night before. So, Spike was family to an ancient immortal who obviously hated Angel and who had some kind of voodoo powers and who was not happy about how the gang had treated Spike. A part of him was worried at what she was going to do while another part, the larger part, was actually glad that someone was finally going to make them pay. He was the only one who had accepted Spike. Xander still didn't get why the others didn't realize that Spike had long since stopped helping them because he was forced to. It had been over a year and a half since they had been forced to beg, bribe, wheedle or threaten Spike to come on patrol with them and Spike had quietly saved all their lives more times than he could count. Just the week before Spike had reached out and yanked a demon away just as it was bringing a sword down towards Buffy's head. And what thanks did he get, just another threat to stake him when the demon's blood splattered across Buffy's new shoes.

Xander yawned, then made his way to the bathroom, longing for a hot shower to ease the ache in his shoulder. His eyes opened a little at the opulence of it, but he found, to his surprise, that he was quickly becoming used to such luxury. He looked around, noticing the thick, white towels and the bottles of expensive shampoos and soaps. No paper wrapped bars of soap in this joint. He turned on the water in the large walk in shower and adjusted the stream until it was nice and hot, steam filling the room. He stripped down and walked under the spray, the heat loosening his muscles. He quickly washed his hair and his body, then moved to stand under the spray, enjoying the feel of the water hitting his flesh, allowing him to lose himself again in his thoughts of Spike. Xander felt his stomach twist a little the way it always did when he thought about all the times he could have defended the vampire but had chosen not to, not wanting to further isolate himself from his friends. **Some friends, Spike's been more loyal to you than they ever were** Xander snorted at the thought. It was true but that didn't make it any easier to accept. Spike was his best friend, his closest friend, hell, they were practically a couple they were together so much.

Xander groaned as the thought crossed him mind. A couple. The subject that he avoided thinking about at all costs, the thought that he tried to push out of his mind only to have it bubble up, unwanted, at the most inopportune times. He wanted them to be a couple. The first time he woke, panting and sticky, the feel of Spike's mouth on him still vivid from his dream, he had been stunned, had been forced to face his feelings. Sure, if forced to be honest with himself, he had always noticed men, always been attracted to men. Just, he had been attracted to women more and there had never really been a guy that he wanted to take to bed, wanted to see just what it was like. Until he met Brian about a month after Anya had left. Spike had been off somewhere, on one on his periodic drunken binges, and Xander had met Brian in a bar. They got drunk, went back to Brian's and one thing led to another until Xander found himself on his knees, sucking Brian off, found himself flat on his back, knees hooked over Brian's shoulders, stretched and filled and entered, the feel of it burning through him, found himself kneeling over Brian, pushing his way into that tight, tight body. They hadn't really said anything afterwards, just fallen asleep and Xander had left the next morning, not even knowing Brian's last name. Xander sent another quick prayer of thanks to all that was holy that he had still had those condoms in his wallet that night, bad enough to have a one night stand, worse to be unsafe about it. He was stupid but not suicidal.

Since then, he had forced himself to admit that he liked it, that in all honesty he had gone looking for it, the sheer physical release of it sublime. Alone in bed at night, he would lie there and remember the feel of it, the drunken lust which washed over them, the way it tasted when Brian came in his mouth. He wanted that with Spike, burned for it. Had to be very, very careful not to let it show, not to let Spike catch the faintest hint of how Xander desired him. But it wasn't just lust. He liked Spike, he enjoyed Spike's company, he was happy and content when Spike was there, anxious and lonely when Spike was gone. When he regained consciousness in the hospital, all he wanted was to feel Spike's cool touch on his skin. Xander leaned his head against the cool marble of the shower and moaned, letting the water beat down on him. Who was he kidding, he was in love with the bleached wonder. From time to time, more and more in the past few weeks, he had caught Spike staring at him with an odd look on his face, some look that made Xander's knees weak and frayed his control. A look that made him want to simply grab the vampire and kiss him stupid, to hell with the consequences.

But now, now Spike had Kat back. Xander slowly banged his head against the wall, ignoring the pain. **Be happy for him, be happy for him, if you love him, you want him to be happy, be happy for him** Xander banged his head in time to the chant in his mind, trying to will himself to be happy, trying to ignore the jealousy gnawing at his insides. He knew how lonely Spike was, no matter how much Spike tried to hide it, and now here was his family back. He wouldn't need Xander anymore. Sighing, Xander turned off the taps then dried himself off, grimacing slightly as he slid into yesterday's clothes. He needed to go home, wanted to change, wanted to just have some time to think about all that he had learned, wanted a chance to get used to being without Spike once again.

He carefully made his way across the living room, past the small dining area, noticing that the curtains were drawn, blacking out the sun. He paused for a moment in the door of the other bedroom, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, gathering up his courage to see Spike in bed with her. He took a few tentative steps into the room, then stopped, staring down at what he saw. Kat was curled on her side under the blankets, arms and legs wrapped around a pillow, comforter tucked tightly under her chin, dark hair swirled around her. Her mouth was slightly open and Xander could faintly hear her breathe, the blankets moving ever so slightly up and down. Spike was sprawled fully clothed on top of the covers next to her, an arm flung over her head with his other hand just barely resting on the curve of her waist. Xander just watched for a moment, feeling a weight lift from his chest. He realized that he had just simply assumed they would be wrapped in one another, had assumed they were lovers simply from the kiss Spike had given her the night before. He figured her description of Spike as family wouldn't stop them, after all, Xander knew that Dru was technically Spike's sire and look at all the years they were together. To say nothing of Spike and Angel. But it was obvious that nothing more than sleep had happened in that room. He cleared his throat, trying to wake only Spike. Neither of them gave any indication that they heard him approach.

"Spike," Xander whispered, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. Kat still looked exhausted, blue shadows forming under her eyes. "Spike, hey, wake up a sec."

"Heard you come in, wondered what you wanted other than staring," Spike lifted his head slightly and turned those lovely eyes at Xander. "What is it, whelp, be quick, she's still tired." Spike had heard Xander enter the room, all senses alert even in sleep to any possible threat. He had watched him out of the slit of one eye, savoring a chance to simply stare at Xander, wet hair and all.

"Just, I need to get going, have some stuff I have to do, and, well, didn't want to leave without telling you. Besides, my car's at the Magic Box. You don't happen to remember if the bus route comes this way do you?" Xander settled down gently on the bed, careful not to disturb Kat. For some reason seeing her stretched out, looking so vulnerable was stirring his protective instincts, even knowing nothing could hurt her.

"Don't think so, I'll just take you back," Spike sat up, stretching a little.

"Um, Spike, it's the middle of the day, that might not be the best idea," Xander replied, turning away slightly, not wanting to be caught staring, hoping against hope that Spike couldn't smell what that did to him. "I'll just call Willow or somebody to come get me."

"No, that wouldn't be a good idea, just get Kat to take you," Spike shut his eyes for a moment at the thought of Kat waking to find any of that group there.

"Spike, no, don't wake her," Xander started, watching as Spike leaned down and began cooing in her ear.

"Kat," he called out, stretching out the name. "Kat, wake up, Xander's leaving, Kat." There was no response. Growling a little, Spike tugged on her hair, voice getting stronger. "Kat, get up." Still no response. With a shrug, he reached back a hand and slapped her on the ass.

"Ow, what was that for, I was awake, just ignoring you," came the muffled reply as Kat burrowed deeper into the pillow.

"I know, that's why I did it." Spike just grinned down at her, tugging her over onto her back, ignoring her groan of protest. "Xander has to go, left his car behind. So, get up, put some decent clothes on and drive him back."

"No," came the reply as she pulled the pillow over her head. "You go."

"Can't, daylight and whatnot." Spike reached out and grabbed his cigarettes off the nightstand and lit up.

"No, comfy, not gonna move, where's that stupid phone," she muttered, a pale hand reaching out until she found what she wanted.

Xander watched, amazed, as she dialed a number then snaked the phone under the pillow with her.

"Yes, concierge please. Thank you." The voice was calm and authoritative, all traces of sleep gone. "Yes, who is this? Stephen, this is Katarina de Rien, suite 1412. I need someone to drive a friend back to his car here in town. Can you please arrange that? Yes, yes, that would be fine, certainly, most appreciated. You have a lovely day." She rolled over enough to drop the phone back on the hook, then opened a bleary eye to stare at Xander.

"Driver will be here in about five minutes, would take you myself, but driving is not such a good idea right now. Spike, why don't you wait with him?" With that she settled back down and appeared to drift right back to sleep.

Xander rose off the bed as Spike dropped off the other side, following Xander out of the room. Spike pulled the bedroom door shut and they stood there, staring awkwardly at one another for a minute.

"Well, I guess I'll just be going soon," Xander started, unsure of what to say.

"Sure, mate." Spike suddenly became very occupied with his cigarette, trying to blow rings in the air. He growled at himself, infuriated that he didn't know what to say.

"So, can I, well, call you later," Xander flushed as he heard his voice, heard how tentative and unsure he sounded. He braced himself for the mocking response sure to come.

Spike just shot a glare his direction. "Bloody well better call to tell me you got back safe," the words were growled out, yellow flickering in his eyes. Sending Xander off with some stranger, what was Kat thinking? Sure, she had marked Xander, placing him under her protection, but still. This was the Hellmouth. Spike shook himself mentally. **Losing your grip there, he'll be fine, just going a few minutes to his car, she wouldn't let him leave if she thought there would be a problem**

Xander nodded, heart warming at Spike's words. "Sure, not a problem. Maybe, well, maybe you could come over tonight, bring her with you of course. I, well, I would like to show her the house." Xander felt a little foolish at that, what was his house compared to this. He looked over at Spike, a firm resolution gripping his heart. She was Spike's family, she was important to Spike. That meant that he would be nice, would try to make her like him, maybe then she would share, just a little.

Spike nodded, "She'll like that." They stood together quietly, simply enjoying the other's presence until they heard the knock on the door. Spike followed Xander to the door, not wanting to see him go. "I'm serious, call when you get back to the house."

Xander looked back, smiling slightly at the concern in Spike's voice. "Will do, see you later." The door clicked shut behind him and Spike stared for a second then made his way back to the bedroom.

"He's perfectly safe, stop being such a pansy."

"Am not," Spike plopped onto the bed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Kat turned over and raised on one elbow staring at Spike.

"Got it real bad. When I wake up, we're going to have a chat." She settled back down, turning on her side again.

"So, I take it that beautiful boy is the reason that you called and made me fly my sorry, sad, wanting to curl up into a little ball and just be miserable because my beautiful lover just died ass over an ocean, an ocean, mind you, to see you?" Kat looked up from buttering her toast. Ahh, she loved high class hotels. Call room service at 7:30 at night, tell them you want breakfast and they didn't even bat an eye.

"Well, I didn't know that Cassie died now, did I, and, might I add, you seem to be taking that just a little bit too well," Spike arched an eyebrow at her over his own glass of blood.

"Long story, tell you later," Kat grinned back at him.

"No, long story, tell me now," Spike replied putting the glass down. "Katarina, you were with her for sixteen years, you almost blew Sydney off the face of the earth and I know for a fact you haven't lost control like that since that unfortunate incident in Hamburg in 1912. You were crying your eyes out last night and now you act like nothing is wrong? Forgive me if I seem a little less than convinced." Spike reached out to spear a sausage. Always did love sausage. An evil grin crossed his face. Pun definitely intended.

"No, short version. When Cassie got so sick, she made me promise to let her go. Fought about it for about six months until she won. Never could deny her anything. Then, two weeks ago when it was apparent that this was it, she made me promise her one last thing. I could have nine days. Nine days to be as sad and miserable and lonely and angry and anything else I wanted. But after that, then I had to be happy again. Or pretend to be. She made me swear. Said I couldn't stay with her if I didn't promise. So I promised. And you know I can't break a promise to my mate. Nine days are up now. Time to pretend to be happy." Kat looked up, smiling. "Actually isn't as hard as I thought. Every time I smile I know it would make her happy. And that makes it easier."

Spike chewed slowly, turning the words over in his mind. Six months ago, that's when Kat had first contacted him. She knew then that Cassie was all but gone. "I see, so that's the plan, just pretend to be happy until you are."

"I guess, it was her plan not mine. And you, my sweet, are stalling. Why did you call me? What was so bad it made you call on the bond?" She pinned him down with her gaze, knowing he would be unable to break the contact.

"Wasn't sure you would come," Spike hesitated, not really wanting to talk about this. "Just, Xander got hurt." The words were barely audible.

"I know, I seem to remember someone babbling on and on about it. What was so awful, he seems fine now, he was fine at the time," Kat paused, brow creasing in thought. "What was so awful about it?"

"He was hurt. I could have lost him." Spike looked down at the table, feeling tears form in his eyes. "I love him." There, the words were finally said, finally out in the open, no taking them back now.

"Well, that's fairly obvious to anyone with half a brain, why did it upset you so much you had to call on me?" Kat moved to kneel next to Spike, a hand running up his arm. "What's so bad that you won't tell me?" When they had finally started speaking again six months ago they picked right up where they left off, complete candor, absolute honesty, nothing unsaid between them.

"Because I don't know how to love him." Spike looked down, turning wounded eyes to meet hers. "How do you do it, Kat, how do you love them, how do you give your heart away when you know they are just going to, to," Spike stopped, unable to say the word.

"Die?" Kat watched as Spike flinched at the sound of the word. "Ah, pet, is that it?" She stood, folding her arms around him and drawing his head to her chest. "It's simple, really, you just have to decide. What hurts worse, having them, knowing they are going to leave, or never having them at all? Not a hard decision to make when it comes right down to it. Every day I spent with Cassie was one day I can think back and treasure later." She stroked his hair, pressing his ear to her heart.

"But doesn't it hurt when they go?" Spike whispered, listening to the soothing sound of her heartbeat.

"Of course, but, hurts worse without them. You get over it eventually and then you just remember how much you loved them. William, it's worth it, truly. I would never trade the pleasure to be without the pain." She felt Spike nod into her chest.

"Even Thomas?" He went still, stunned at his boldness.

Her hands stopped their stroking for one moment then he felt them move again, though now they were shaking slightly. "Especially Thomas. Though that's different and you know it."

"I know," Spike pulled away, letting out a huge sigh. "I just don't know what to do, and, well, I missed you." He reached out and took her hand. "I'm sorry, you know, I never should have said those things, I didn't mean it."

"I know. I knew then, just, angry. And I can't tell you what to do. Well, not entirely, I can tell you this, you need to go talk to him, explain things. He's worried I'm going to take you away," Kat replied, pulling back slightly. "Go on, go to him, I know you want to, have to say, I was impressed when he called this morning, only took, what, forty minutes to establish that he was home."

"Bint," Spike smirked at her, grateful that she was trying to ease the tension. "Had things to discuss."

"Oh, yes, like, let's see, what was the big debate, which is better on rye bread, chunky peanut butter or smooth. Anyone listening would think that you kept him on the phone just to hear the sound of his voice," Kat moved back to her seat, grabbing a piece of sausage herself.

"Shut up," Spike growled out. "So, join us later?"

"If you want, call the mobile and I'll drop over. Keys are on the counter, get out."

Spike dropped a kiss on her cheek and stalked out the door, anxious to get to Xander.

"Spike, hey, where's Katarina?" Xander pulled the door open and ushered Spike into the house. He had spent the day cleaning, making sure that everything was shiny and that the house no longer smelled like a guy lived there.

"Said to call if you wanted her to come over later, wanted to talk to you first though," Spike moved to the refrigerator, pulling out two bottles of beer. He opened them quickly, then handed one over.

"About what?" Xander asked, trying to drive back his pleasure at getting some time alone with Spike.

"About why I never told you about her before," Spike spun the bottle cap around on the counter.

"Yeah, was wondering about that," Xander said softly. He went quiet, trying to remain still. It was rare when Spike volunteered any information about himself, especially sober and Xander hadn't wanted to ask.

"Well," a crooked smile as Spike looked up, "never really came up, haven't seen her in eight years."

"Because she's been in Australia, must be hard for you to travel that far, what, would you fly in the cargo hold or something," Xander started, nodding wisely. He had thought about this during the day.

Spike let out a bitter laugh. "No, not that, although that is part of it. No, we had a bit of a spat." He snorted again. **Bit of an understatement there, lucky she let you live**

"About what," Xander said, fascinated. Spike was never this open, this must be important to him.

"Depends on who you ask. Ask her and she'll tell you it's because I'm a bloody bastard." Spike paused to take a long pull on the bottle.

"And if I ask you," Xander looked over, shocked to see the look of pain cross Spike's face.

"Then I'm a fucking arsehole who doesn't know when to keep his trap shut," came the quiet reply.

"What was the fight about," Xander kept his voice pitched as low as Spike's, moving to stand a little closer.

"Said she was going to Australia with Cassie, didn't like it, said some things I shouldn't. She told me to get out, didn't want to see or talk to me again." Spike stared at the wall, seeing the scene flit before his eyes.

"Bleedin' Australia, thought you hated koala bears, something about them being so forcibly cute it made you retch," Spike called out from his position on the bed. He had sprawled across Kat's clothes, making it impossible for her to pack.

"Move," Kat's patience was running very, very thin. They had had this fight every night for the last three weeks, ever since she told Spike they were leaving. Now, now the infuriating menace wouldn't even let her pack.

"No, comfortable, seriously, why leave, Berlin's lovely, all decadent and whatnot. I know, nothing like between the wars, but still, quite lovely, and Cassie just had that show and it went so well," Spike knew he was whining but couldn't stop. They had all been in Berlin for eight months now and he was used to seeing Kat everyday, used to having her around. Almost made up for the family that he no longer had. And since he had caught Dru with that sprite the night before, he wasn't really in the mood to be alone.

"Cassie wants to go home, she misses it, I need to be where she is, so off we go. Now, move or I'll move you." She pushed at Spike's back, managing to roll him off the suitcase.

"Oh, so your little lover says jump and you jump, that it. Think you were whipped and not some all powerful Mistress of the universe if I didn't know better." Spike stood, the agitation running through him. She was leaving, yet again. Everyone left him, always left him. Especially Dru. He growled again, unable to keep from seeing them together every time he closed his eyes. Now, now Kat was leaving too. For Australia. Not like she was just going down the street.

"You better stop now," Kat's eyes flashed as she looked over. Spike simply glared back, anger rising in him.

"What, don't want to hear the truth, don't want to know what you've become. Look at you, packing up yourself. You could have servants do all this, but, no, you live like you are mortal, like you are one of them." He began to pace, faster and faster, the rage he felt at Dru turning onto her.

"I said stop." Kat moved to stand directly in his path, staring straight in his eyes. "I do not answer to you. I do not have to justify myself to you."

"That's because you can't. You are pathetic you know, groveling around behind her like she's the center of the world, like you aren't the one who should be worshipped. They should be kneeling before you, you should use them as you please, but, no, you act just like them, just like a human," he spit out the word as if it left a vile taste in his mouth.

"Stop. Now." Katarina's eyes were blazing now, flames licking at the corners.

Spike just tossed his head back and laughed. "Oh, I suppose now you are going to tell me all about how you love her and how wonderful she is." He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Please, pet, you know the truth. You are just using her, just like you've used the rest. Trying to make her Thomas, trying to find him again. Well, give it up, luv, he's dead and gone, long since dust and blown away, it's been a century, don't you think it's time to move on. If it were him and you had gone, he probably wouldn't even remember your name. He's gone, not coming back. Not ever." Spike stepped back, horror creeping over his face. Where had those words come from, that pain, that hate.

The slap echoed through the room. "Get out. Now. You have an hour. Collect Dru. Flee. I do not ever want to see you again."

"Mistress, I'm sorry," Spike began, desperation clear in his voice. "I didn't mean," he stopped at her raised hand.

"Do not speak to me. Never again. Do not call on me. I will not come. Be glad I do not renounce you entirely. Leave. Now." The words were ground out from clenched teeth, her back firmly turned to him.

He reached out a hand to touch her but stopped as the flames began to swirl around her body. He turned on his heel and ran out the door.

"Well, you do have a gift for pissing people off," Xander joked, trying to ease the tension.

"That I do," Spike replied, a faint smile crossing his face. He took another pull at his beer, the panic of that night still with him. He had raced across town, grabbing Dru from their home and headed out of town, ignoring her protests. The entire night he kept looking behind them, expecting to see her, expecting her to kill him, hoping to see her, not wanting to be left entirely alone. But she hadn't come. Had left him alone, as alone as he had ever been. She always did know just how to punish. She knew him, knew death was more welcome than solitude could ever be.

"When did you finally get to talk to her again?" Xander pressed on, taking this chance before it passed. He moved a little closer, trying to encourage more disclosure, basking in the feel of Spike confiding in him, showing some small weakness in front of him.

"Six months ago. Sitting in my crypt, phone rang, thought it was you, picked it up, it was her, bit of shock that. Been talking ever since."

"Whelp, some of us do sleep in the day you know," Spike growled into the phone, annoyed at being interrupted in the middle of Passions.

"Yes, I do know, known you for 123 years, haven't I," came the amused reply.

"Kat," Spike sighed out, eyes opening wide. "Kat, is that really you?"

He heard the familiar laughter, undead heart twisting at the sound. "Yes, what that chip scramble what's left of your brain around?"

"How did you know," Spike stopped, a huge grin crossing his face. "Who am I asking, I know. Kat, I'm sorry, please I didn't mean it, just, don't hang up, fuck, where's a pen, what's your number, where are you, I'm in Sunnydale, right probably know that," **too much time with the witch, babbling like a fool** Spike turned in a circle, unsure what to do first, find a pen and paper or pass out from shock.

"Spike, shut up. I know. I know you didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Overreacted a bit myself. I'm still in Sydney. Give you the number later, just, needed to hear your voice."

Spike stopped suddenly, surely the trembling in her voice came from the connection, it couldn't be that she was, "Luv, are you crying?"

"If I said no would you believe me," came the response. Spike sat down slowly on the bed, knowing what was coming next. There was only one thing that made Kat cry.

"Is she gone?" He forced the words out.

"Not yet. Leukemia, she won't let me," with that Kat broke down.

"Shh, it's fine, everything will be fine, shh," Spike damned the phone, damned the sun, damned the distance between them, damned himself for the thrill that went through him knowing that she still needed him, that he was still her kin.

He listened to the sniffles for a moment more, than heard the enforced cheerfulness in her voice. "So, who did you think I was and why did you sound so happy to hear from whomever you thought I was?"

"Xander. One of the Slayer's pets." Eight years fell away like nothing as they spoke, the tie still as firm as always.

"Why didn't you say something then," Xander asked, still hurt that Spike had kept this from him.

"Not the kind of thing you just drop in casual conversation, pet." Spike looked up, seeing the hurt in Xander's eyes. Unable to stop, he reached out a hand and cupped Xander's cheek. "Didn't mean to hide from you, just, didn't think I was going to see her again. Would have told you, I swear, Xander."

They stared at each other, Xander feeling the cool hand burn into his skin, not wanting to move, not wanting to lose that touch. Spike finally slid his hand away, lightly trailing his fingers over Xander's cheek.

"I understand, a little I guess, not like I tell everyone that Buffy is the Slayer or Willow is a witch. And I'm glad I got to meet her," Xander grinned again. "She did promise to tell me anything I wanted to know about you. C'mon blondie, give her a call, tell you what, let's get plastered and play truth or dare, bet she knows things about you that you would never tell me."

**Too bloody right by half** "Fine by me, luv, but I must warn you, I already have a few choice questions in mind for you." He dialed the number, amazed that he could do so and she would just answer then come. He heard the phone ring and turned to Xander. "Here you ask, she would like that."

Xander nodded and grabbed the phone. "Hi, yeah it's Xander, are you going to come over,"

Spike closed his eyes, happily listening to the two most important people in his world talk to each other, delighting in what he never thought possible.

Angel looked down at the picture yet again, hands flat on the desk.

"Are you certain these aren't fake, that someone's not just playing a very, very cruel trick," he growled out, trying to cover his fear with rage.

"No, absolutely not, I took them myself," the man in front of him looked down, not wanting to catch Angel's gaze, not wanting to draw the anger on himself.

Angel slowly picked up the first picture. She hadn't changed. Well, he snorted to himself, what did he expect. Certainly her hair was different, jet black now, and clothes, and she seemed just a little thinner, but her eyes. Same piercing blue. Staring straight into the camera as if she knew it were there. Same aura of danger.

"You should know, her mate died ten days ago," the man stepped back, preparing to run.

"And now suddenly she's here," Angel swallowed, dropping into the chair. "Do you know where she went?" **Anywhere but there, anywhere but there, please, just. . .**

"Sunnydale." With that man fled into the night.

"Sunnydale, oh hells, Spike, she came for Spike," Angel looked up, face stricken. "What am I going to do?"

Part Five

Thin white hands, the fingers dripping with blood, reached out and caressed the throat of the shivering man.

"What, no words in all those books to explain this," the seductive voice murmured in his ear. "All your studies just not quite real now."

Those fingers trailed lightly over the man's throat, lingering on the strong beat of his pulse. The man swallowed involuntarily, trying to keep his eyes locked on the yellow ones looking up at him, trying desperately not to look around, not to smell the blood drenching the ground around them. He couldn't help it, however, and his eyes suddenly darted to his left, stomach turning as he realized that he could no longer tell which arm went with whose body, seeing hearts and lungs peering from the open chests.

"Lovely sight, isn't it? Always wanted to know what someone looked like on the inside, now you do." The voice never wavered, never changed from that almost purr. "Well, chap, your turn now. See if you can last longer than your mates. Bit on the girly side, weren't they, screaming like that." The hand slipped from his throat and the man shuddered, wanting nothing more than to run away. However, the spikes through his feet nailed him fast to the ground and he was unable to move.

The yellow eyes dropped from his, just for a moment, as the dark blond head bent down, searching for something in the small satchel lying at his feet. The man could feel the grin cross the demon's face as it found what it was looking for.

"Yes, luv, let's see, where will I begin," the same low murmur, only deeper this time, with a hint of passion behind it. "I think, right about, here."

The man began to howl as the pain went through him. The railroad spike dug deep into the center of his chest and slowly, slowly, those elegant hands pulled it down, lower and lower, dragging out the pain. Finally, the demon stopped when it reached the waistband of his pants.

"Hmm, shall I let you die a man, what should it be, I know, let's ask the stars, maybe they will sing us a pretty song." The voice was vicious now, hate filled and enraged. The man suddenly dropped to the ground as the demon's arm dropped away from him.

"Sing for me, sing for me, what won't you ever fucking sing FOR ME," Spike screamed out, spinning round and round in a circle, the scent of blood intoxicating on the night air. "Not good enough, only for her, tell her to go off with her Daddy, her precious Daddy, leave me here alone," Spike whirled back around, the spike slashing across the man's eyes, tearing them from their sockets. Spike drank in the screams of pain, hearing another voice his anguish. He yanked the man back to his feet and pressed his fangs to his neck.

"You should be grateful, their ends were much messier than this," Spike whispered, then plunged his fangs into the man's neck, greedily drinking down his fear. He sucked and sucked until he felt the heart stop beneath his hands. He stepped back, allowing the body to simply fall to the ground, blood dripping from his mouth, coating his body from head to toe.

"William the Bloody, indeed." The amused words drifted down to him.

Spike spun around, startled searching for the sound of that voice. Surely it couldn't be. . .

"Mistress," the word breathed out as Spike finally saw her leaning against the side of a building, an enigmatic smile on her lips. "Mistress, I did not know you were here."

Katarina let out a low laugh as she made her way through the bodies surrounding Spike. "Of course not, my sweet, I did not wish you to notice until you were done." She surveyed the scene, nodding approvingly. Seven bodies laid out, some torn limb from limb, others only ripped open, the last merely drained. "I see you have learned well. Angelus himself would be proud." She watched, her gaze steady as Spike flinched back at her words. An eyebrow raised slowly as she looked more closely at the vampire. He was pale, more so than usual, more than he should be after feeding. And thin, almost gaunt. Her gaze softened and she moved to stand directly in front of Spike.

"So, I take it that Drusilla heard the stars singing to her again," she kept her tone even, not wanting to startle Spike.

Spike just nodded, feeling the warmth radiating from her body. "Left me here last week, said they would be back in a day. Haven't heard from them since."

"They will be back, don't worry, Dru always returns. You should know that by now." Her hand reached out and caught his, pulling him along behind her. "Come with me."

"Where are we going," he quietly asked, not really caring. It had been nearly a year since he had last seen the Mistress, since she had stopped in at their home for only an hour, barely speaking to him, just looking him up and down thoroughly, then complimenting Angelus on how well his childe fought.

"To eat, I'm hungry, you look like you need more blood. What, did you stop feeding when they left, you cannot do that you know, you need to stay strong." She pulled him into the waiting carriage and gave a quick command to the driver. Spike shut his eyes, allowing the pain to wash over him, hearing Dru's words.

"The stars say that I am to be with Daddy, that Daddy must love me and only me, not you, not my precious childe, I am his, I must be with him," Dru chanted the words over and over as Angelus led her away, smirking at Spike as he ran after them, trying to pull Dru back. She hadn't even turned, hadn't looked at him once.

He opened his eyes when they came to a stop, obediently following her into the low cottage. A fire danced merrily in the grate and a light supper was set on the table. She pulled him into a chair then pressed a goblet into his hands. He drank slowly, waiting for her to speak.

She was quiet for some time, eating slowly, seemingly content in the silence. Finally, she pushed her plate away with a sigh and stared into his eyes.

"Spike, why did you do that tonight, you have not been that bloodthirsty in a long time. And do not say it was because you had not eaten, if that was the case you simply would have drained them dry." Katarina took a sip from her glass, waiting for the reply.

"I was angry. She keeps leaving, no matter what I do. He treats her like a whore and she keeps going back, I can never be good enough for her, I will always be beneath her." Spike stared into his goblet, the truth spilling out. He didn't know why, but he always told Katarina the truth when she asked. Deep down, he needed this more than he was willing to acknowledge, needed just one person who would simply listen, one person who would let him tell the truth.

"Spike," Katarina sighed, seeing the hurt clearly written on his face. "She is insane. You know that, you've always known that. Why do you insist that she act rationally, it will never be. She is who she is, you just have to understand that." She picked up the poker and began idly pushing at the logs in the fire, making the embers spark.

"I know, but, I just keep hoping if I try hard enough that she will get better. She does have moments of lucidity, you know." He moved to join her by the fire, finding it easier to talk when there was somewhere else to focus his attention.

"I know," Katarina smiled slightly to herself. She wondered if Spike realized he did this, realized that he let his façade drop around her, let his humanity come to the surface. That was why she kept coming back, kept coming to see how he was. At first he had gone on a killing rampage, forcing Darla, Angelus, Drusilla and him to flee from the angry mobs. But he was beginning to learn finesse, beginning to meld the two halves of his mind into one. "That doesn't explain why you went on that little spree tonight, did something happen?"

"No, yes, well," Spike paused, slightly embarrassed. How did he explain this?

"Yes," Katarina turned to face him, waiting for him to continue. When no further words were forthcoming, she reached out a hand and stroked down his arm. "Don't make me force it from you," the words were mocking but Spike knew the threat was real.

"Well, went to a pub, wanted a pint of bitter. Ran into some blokes I knew from university, they heard how Cecily cut me, so they decided to have a bit of fun. Put up with it for a while then asked them if they wanted to settle this outside like gentlemen, so they followed me out. Quickly realized their mistake," Spike grinned at that, remembering the shock on their faces, how their laughter had turned to screams.

"Well, I really have only one response to that, just what were you doing in a pub in Oxford in the first place," Kat shook her head. "Foolish, so foolish, thought you had learned better than that. Returning to a place where you were known."

Spike just cleared his throat, he had hoped she would miss that. "Dru wanted to come here. Stayed when they left."

"But why there," Kat began, only to see Spike begin to nervously shift back and forth. "William, tell me why you were there."

"Missed it. Used to go there to write, just wanted to see it again." The quiet words hung in the air, Spike's head lowered in shame. **So weak, stupid that, just wanted to remember** He felt a warm hand reach for his.

Sunnydale - present - Xander Harris's house

Xander pulled open the door as soon as he saw the headlights pull into the driveway, Spike right behind him in the doorway. They watched as Kat paid the cab, then walked up the short sidewalk. Xander chewed nervously on his lower lip as she stopped, tilting her head to take in the front of the house.

"Welcome to Casa de Harris. Come, join the fun."

She bounced up the sidewalk, surprising him by pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Very nice, like the landscaping, you did that right?" She bustled into the house, pressing a bag into Spike's arm. "Brought provisions."

Spike quirked an eyebrow when he heard the bottles clanking in the bag. He moved into the living room, stepping aside as Xander took Kat on a brief tour of the house. "And this is Spike's room," drifted out to him and he smiled unconsciously at that.

"Very nice, you did all this yourself? I'm impressed, really, I can't even use a hammer. I like it." She wasn't lying, it might be small but it was nice and the workmanship was excellent.

Xander grinned at that, it was obvious that she wasn't being polite, that she really liked the house. "Thanks, it was difficult and took a long time, but worth it in the end."

"All good things are, Xander, all good things are," Kat called out as she trailed Xander back to the living room.

The bottles were set in a row on the coffee table. Whiskey, vodka and tequila. Spike stood there with a quarter in his hand. "Right, mates, here's the rules. Pick your poison, take a shot, flip the coin. Heads is truth, tails is dare. Alternate asking or daring between the two who aren't up. And Kat, you go first." He automatically opened the vodka and poured her a shot.

"Here goes." She tilted her head back and tossed it down, flipping the coin with her other hand. "Heads. So gentlemen, who asks first?" She settled on the chair, waiting for a question.

"Me, me," Xander bounced, an evil grin on his face. "So, what is Spike's natural hair color?" He ignored the low growl next to him. "Hey, you never said it had to be a question about her now did you? So spill, what is beneath those peroxide locks?"

"Blond." Spike and Kat burst out laughing at the look of shock on Xander's face.

"No, that can't be right, c'mon play fair, said you would tell me." Xander protested but the laughter just continued. He tried growling but that only made them laugh harder.

"No, that's, that's the truth," Kat finally managed to spit out, wiping tears from her eyes. "Oh, that was a great expression. Dark blond. Beautiful shade really, you should let it grow back out, Spike. And it's wavy too." Her eyes sparkled, Xander deserved something extra for that.

"Hey," Spike blurted out, then stopped when he heard Xander speak.

"Really, like to see that," Xander said quietly, picturing running his hands through Spike's hair.

Spike cleared his throat slightly, surely he was imaging that note of desire in Xander's voice. He turned to the table, busying his hands to calm himself. He picked up a shot glass and handed it to Xander. "Your turn, whelp."

Xander picked up the tequila and tossed back his shot, the pleasant burn running to his toes. "Tails, dare." He watched those identical eyes narrow and a sudden jolt of fear went through his body. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Let's see, what could we have you do, what indeed." Kat stared, enjoying the anticipation. Even Spike looked a little worried as to what she would suggest. "Hear you do a fabulous imitation of the Slayer when she's being a bit extra whiny. Go ahead, let's see."

"How did you know," Xander looked over and saw Spike looking anywhere but at him. "So, spilling all our secrets, Spike, just you wait, I'll get you back." He moved to the center of the room, then pretended to toss hair over his shoulders.

"But, Giles," Xander pitched his voice as high as he could. "I don't want to stay and train, there's a big shoe sale and besides, I have to go shrink the rest of my clothes, and then I have to sit and stare in the mirror and feel sorry for myself because I can't find someone to love me, even though I am completely self-absorbed and don't pay any attention to them when they do." Xander stomped his foot and collapsed dramatically on the couch, folding his arms across his chest and thrusting his bottom lip out in a huge pout.

Spike nearly doubled over in laughter as Xander continued to pout. "Don't you make fun of me I'm the SLAYER and no one knows just how hard I have it. It's not funny." With that Xander stood up and pretended to stomp out the room. He returned bowing to the applause and whistles. "Thank you, thank you, please no autographs." He settled back on the couch as Spike reached for the bottle of whiskey. Looked like it was going to be a good night.

"Oh, this was not a good idea," Xander moaned out, squinting at the clock across the room. "I have to be at work in," he paused for a long time, trying to work it out in his head. "Nine hours." Another groan came from him. "Probably still be drunk."

"Mmmm," came Spike's reply. He didn't really trust himself to answer, not when the world was spinning round and round like that.

"Here, drink this, it will help." Xander heard Kat's amused voice as she pressed a glass into his hand.

"What's this, some ancient secret hangover cure, please tell me it's some ancient secret hangover cure," Xander muttered as he drank, closing his eyes. He was positive that when he laid the planks for the floor that he made sure they were level. If so, why was the room tilting like this.

"Yes, Xandersan, it's called water. Drink. You know that's why you get a hangover, don't you, it's the dehydration." Kat grinned down at the two miserable figures on the floor. "I'll give you some aspirin in a bit, just keep drinking water."

"You do know the best cure for a hangover," Spike muttered darkly, eyes still firmly shut. "Staying drunk."

Kat laughed, watching as they flinched from the sound. She settled back down on the coffee table, pushing the bottles out of the way, grinning down at them. She wondered if Spike even realized that he was still dressed in Xander's clothes. He had whined fiercely at Xander's dare, but had finally emerged from Xander's bedroom in the brightest, most garish shirt he could find. The khakis were barely staying on, his hips were so much slimmer than Xander's. He grumbled and moaned, especially when Kat pulled out her camera. In this case, a picture was truly worth a thousand words.

She reached out, picking up the camera again. They made quite a lovely picture, pressed firmly into one another, leaning back against the couch, bodies connected from shoulder to foot, arms resting against each other, hands just not quite touching. They had started on the couch, but when Xander had fallen off, laughing at Spike's attempt to sing some Rodgers and Hammerstein song, Spike had settled in next to him on the floor. Little by little they had scooted next to one another until they ended like this. They hadn't really moved in the last hour. She shook her head fondly. She had briefly considered daring them to kiss, just to see what would happen, then had decided not to. Let them muddle through it on their own.

She heard Xander's breath slow into the deep pattern of sleep, looked closely at Spike, seeing the tension ease out of his face. Humming softly she began to clear the mess from the living room, checking to see that the curtains were firmly closed. The night had been quite amusing. She had switched to drinking water halfway through and they had never noticed, both far, far too drunk to care. She watched the familiar banter, her heart warming at the way they looked at each other. As soon as she had started speaking to Spike again, she knew he was gone for Xander. Xander was all he ever talked about, even when bitching about the Slayer. It was almost never about how the Slayer threatened him, instead his complaints centered on how the Slayer ignored Xander, how the Watcher never bothered to train Xander, how the witches were too wrapped up in each other to notice Xander. When Spike told her about Anya she thought the phone would melt in her hand from the fire behind his words. She had said nothing, just happy that Spike was happy. She leaned down and dropped a kiss on Spike's head, heading off to sleep.

"Kat," Xander's sleepy voice stopped her and she slowly walked over to sit next to him on the floor.

"Yes, luv?"

"Can I ask you something, meant to earlier but, didn't want to upset Spike." Xander slowly opened his eyes, turning his head to look at her.

"Of course, what is it?" She sucked in a deep breath, waiting to hear what it would be.

"Why did you and Spike have a fight?" Xander spoke quietly, not wanting to wake Spike. He had finally learned how to tell when Spike was asleep, there was an absence to the air, like some type of energy had been drained from the room.

"Because he's a bloody bastard," came her instant reply.

"He said you would say that," Xander murmured, trying to focus. "Seriously, what was it, he said that he said something he shouldn't, just what could be that bad."

Kat stared into those brown eyes, letting out a shaky breath. "The truth. And I knew it. And I didn't want to hear it. Now, go back to sleep, I'll make sure you wake up in time for work." She dropped a kiss on the top of his head as well as she set off for bed.

Xander settled back against the couch, inching slightly closer to Spike, the backs of their hands rubbing together.

Giles started as the phone rang, pulling him from sleep. 4:30 in the morning who could it be? He quickly answered the phone, his heart pounding in his chest. 4:30 phone calls were seldom good.

"Yes," he croaked out, straining to figure out who it was.

"Giles, it's Angel, sorry to wake you, just something urgent has come up. Do you know where Spike is?" Angel's worried voice sounded down the line, causing Giles to sit upright on the bed.

"Not really, why are you looking for him," Giles cautiously replied.

"I need to find him, someone, someone is on their way to Sunnydale and, well, I need to talk to him about it," Angel paced back and forth, shooting dark glances out the window. Too close to sunrise to leave and find Spike before she did, before Spike. . . Angel closed his eyes, forcing himself to stay calm.

"Angel, who, who is on their way, I think, well, I think she may have already arrived," Giles swung his legs over the side of the bed, rising, needing to pace. Angel knew her, what had the Council missed, what else didn't he know.

"She, why do you think it's a she." Angel stopped, terror crashing over him, too late, he was too late.

"Angel, it is much too late, or early, how ever you wish to view it, for me to play games, just who are you expecting to arrive." Giles made his way to the kitchen, setting the kettle on to boil.

"A woman, well, it's complicated, just I think she's coming to kill Spike." Angel felt his throat constrict as the words were pulled from him. It sounded so simple put like that. So complicated in reality.

"If you mean Katarina de Rien, then, well, she's here already. And I don't think she is going to kill him." Giles was gratified by the crash on the other end of the line, it was clear that Angel's legs had just given out. Good, it was about time that the vampire got paid back for all the times he had done the same to Giles.

"She, she's there, you met her. When? Why? Giles, what's going on," Angel sputtered out, staggering back to his feet.

"She came back two nights ago now, found him at the Magic Box. Reclaimed him as her kin in front of everyone, then left with Spike and Xander in tow. I have no idea where they are now and I am not particularly inclined to find out. I called Xander earlier today and he was fine. Now, why are you so concerned?" Giles poured the water over the tea bag and settled on his couch.

"Kin, reclaimed as kin," Angel swallowed hard. He didn't know which emotion was stronger, fear or relief. "I didn't know that they had reconciled."

"Angel, I did not know that any of you even knew an Ancient. Let only the Executioner. Would you care to explain," a harsh edge was clear in Giles's voice. He was tired and frustrated and angry and still more than a little scared. He heard a huge sigh come down the line.

"It's, it's a long story, but, well, I, when I was Angelus, I took something that was hers. She has sworn revenge. Including taking what is mine. And Spike is MINE." The words were growled out and Angel felt his grip on the phone tighten.

"From what I've seen, I would have to say that he is hers," Giles replied. "I do not think you have to worry about her killing him."

Angel stared out the window, the darkness matching his memories. "I don't know if that's better or worse."

"Neither do I," came the quiet response. "Are you going to tell me about it or can I go back to sleep?"

"Giles, I'm sorry, didn't realize," Angel shot a guilty look to the clock. "Go back to sleep, just, I'll call you tomorrow, I have to check with some sources. Good morning, Giles, sorry to wake you."

"Good morning to you too." Giles rested his head on the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling. "Bloody hell, what else can go wrong?" He took his tea back into the bedroom, hoping he could get to sleep. Angelus had taken something that was hers. And she had vowed revenge. And Angel was still alive. So what revenge? He shook his head, no, he wouldn't think of this now. He had to get sleep. Tomorrow would be a very busy day, very very busy. He had a feeling that the Council was not going to be pleased when he informed them of this turn of events.

"Spike, Kat, you in here," Xander called out as he opened the doors to the suite. Spike had moved into the hotel with Kat and Xander had taken to going home to shower and change after work then heading straight to the hotel to meet up with them. Kat had finally just given him a copy of the key card for the doors the day before, muttering something about why he just didn't move in as well. But muttering in an affectionate way.

He walked into the living room then stopped, transfixed by the painting propped against the wall. It was huge, at least six feet by three feet. It was beautiful and dark, drawing all the light in the room into its depths. It was Dru, larger than life, pale skin, dark hair and eyes. Xander walked forward, drawn to reach out, to see if she was real. She looked real. Whoever had done this had captured her perfectly, captured the mad gleam in her eyes. Perfectly portrayed her fragility and strength.

Spike stood staring, completely motionless, not turning his head when Xander moved to stand next to him.

"Kat's gone. Her belongings started arriving from Sydney today and she said something about unpacking. I don't know where and she wouldn't tell me. This is what Cassie painted for me. Here, read this, she wrote me a note." Spike never took his eyes from the canvas as he spoke, a hand blindly reaching over, holding out a thick piece of cream paper.

Xander took it, unfolding it slowly then looking down to see flowing handwriting.

Cassie

"Spike," Xander said helplessly, staring up at the canvas, his heart breaking, imagining how Spike must feel to be confronted with this. "It's perfect."

"Yes, give Cassie that, she certainly could paint." Spike's voice was flat, his expression impenetrable.

"Are you, are you, hell, Spike, are you okay?" Xander said helplessly, at sea as to what to say or do. Gods, if someone gave him a portrait like this of Anya.

"No, but, I will be," Spike replied, finally turning to look at Xander. "She's gone, she's not coming back, I know that," his eyes closed briefly then he looked back up, "and I don't really want her to. Just, hurts." Xander nodded, leaning in closer to Spike, their shoulders touching. Spike turned back to the portrait, then slowly reached down, taking Xander's hand in his, locking their fingers together, holding on for dear life.

"Do you have any idea of where we're going?" Xander looked up at Spike as he read the directions on the note.

"Not really," Spike answered.

"Left here," Xander pointed to the road up ahead. Spike quickly made the turn and they briefly looked at each other once again. They had been driving for about thirty minutes and were slowly moving further and further from the center of town.

"Does she do this often?" Xander watched the moon peek out from behind the branches of the huge trees lining both sides of the road.

"'Fraid so. Once sent me nothing put a map and a compass and these cryptic instructions and I had no idea what it was for until I got there," Spike replied, distracted by way the moonlight was streaking across Xander's face. **Concentrate, don't want to hit anything with the whelp in the car.**

"I wonder if this has something to do with whatever mysterious project it is that she's been up to?" Xander drummed his fingers on the dashboard, excitement and nervousness mingling in him. As safe as he knew he was with Spike, there was still something slightly worrisome about heading out into the dark woods with a vampire going to meet a powerful immortal being. Not that they would ever hurt him, but, still, worrisome.

"Don't know, should be there soon though, what did the note say, turn right two miles or three?" Spike was excited himself. Kat's surprises tended to be dramatic and she was definitely up to something. Three weeks ago she had come bounding into the suite, barely able to restrain herself from bouncing up and down in glee.

"Well, poppets, I've gotten some good news. I'll be very busy for a short while, so don't worry if you don't see much of me. I'm sure the two of you can manage to keep each other entertained. Ta." With that she quickly kissed them each on the cheek and dashed back out the door. They simply stared at each other for a moment, then Spike shrugged.

"She'll tell us when she's ready, your move, mate." With that they resumed playing chess.

Kat had been right, they had only seen her in passing over the last few weeks. Xander had caught her yelling something into the phone the one day about paint and Spike had watched her pack up her clothes and head out the night before. Xander hated to admit it, but he hadn't missed her as much as he expected that he should. After all, it gave him more alone time with Spike. Since Kat arrived, he had all but abandoned the Scooby gang. Sure, he called Buffy and Willow every day, just to let them know he was fine. He had gone to lunch with Giles one Sunday and out to a movie with Willow and Tara on another Saturday afternoon, but really even that was just to assure them that, no, nothing evil had happened to him. Kat and Spike hadn't seen them at all, in fact, Kat started to growl every time any of their names were mentioned. Xander found to his surprise that he didn't miss the gang all that much. It was much better to be with Kat, she treated him like an equal, asking his opinions about things, laughing at his jokes, making him feel good. He had been surprised at some of their conversations. He never knew that he had opinions on some of the topics she broached, never realized that maybe, just maybe, he had more depth than even he thought.

And being with Spike, well, that was even better. Xander felt himself falling ever more helplessly with each passing day. This Spike was both exactly the same and completely different. Completely different in that he seemed perfectly at ease for the first time since Xander had gotten to know him. The faint edge of desperation was gone, instead, Spike was simply himself. Which meant that he was exactly the same. The scathing wit and ready quips were still there, along with the constant threat of violence. Xander shivered a little as he recalled the first time he had witnessed them hunt. It had been about two weeks before. Kat came tearing into the suite around midnight, interrupting one of their endless games of poker. Spike had taken up the gauntlet of teaching Xander to bluff and the task seemed neverending.

"Spike, Pkatha demons. In the park. Let's go," her voice was low and husky, her eyes shaded and dark. Spike shot out of his chair, moving with preternatural speed, growling constantly, his tongue licking his lips.

"Xander, you want to come," Kat called as they bolted out the door. He had been pulled along almost against his will. He had been curious at Spike's willingness to spend his evenings with them, foregoing his usual fights. Xander assumed that Spike simply went out after he left around 1:00 most mornings, but he hadn't asked. They piled into Kat's Rover and sped off, Kat driving, flying through the streets until they came to the park. Spike practically ripped the door off the hinges as he tore up the hill, Kat right behind. Xander followed after them, cresting the hill just in time to be splattered in blood.

Howls tore through the night as Spike and Kat fought. No, Xander shook his head slightly, fighting implied the demons were capable of responding. They simply tore through the demons like a sickle through wheat, vicious cries coming from their bodies. He watched Spike lash out a leg and tumble one of the stocky bodies to the ground, then lean down and rip into its face with his fangs. Spike quickly ripped an arm from the struggling body, throwing it into the air behind him. Kat caught it, never breaking pace from spinning round and round, her foot snapping out to strike her victim in the chest. The demon's chest suddenly caved in and she stopped her kick mid air, then shoved the arm into the gaping hole. Spike had already moved on to the two remaining demons, slamming his fist into the face of the first, driving him back into the second. Kat joined him and they set to work, moving up and down the bodies, the glimmer of a knife suddenly appearing in Kat's hand. She leaned down and began to carve strange symbols into the demons' chests while Spike slowly turned the neck of the one on the right, holding its head precisely at the breaking point, lingering there. A quick nod from Kat and he snapped the demon's neck, leaning over the suddenly still body to rip out the throat of the remaining demon. They stepped back, both panting harshly, then Spike suddenly wrapped his hand into Kat's shirt, lifting her high in the air. She tilted her head to one side and Spike began to lick the blood from her neck, her hands buried in his hair.

Xander stood back, watching in amazement, listening to the cooing coming from Kat, some inhuman noise he had never heard before. Spike slowly set her back down and they both suddenly turned to stare at him, Spike's yellow eyes blazing, flames dancing in the corners of Kat's eyes. Their heads tilted in unison and, suddenly, the tension snapped, Spike's face shifting back to human as Kat stepped forward, slowly walking over to Xander.

"Sorry, should have waited, but, needed that, haven't had a good workout in a while," her cheerful voice called out. "C'mon, Spike, time to get cleaned up. And I'm hungry, Xander, want pizza or Chinese?" They headed back to the Rover, Xander's eyes still wide. He had never witnessed anything like that.

"Pet, two or three," Spike gently prodded, seeing that Xander had slipped away for a moment. He wondered what the human was thinking, looking so pensive, his lips slightly pursed.

"Oh, sorry, two, looks like the turn is just up ahead." Sure enough, there was a small road and Spike took the turn. The road curled around, slowly leading up a small hill. Suddenly, they reached the top and Xander let out a gasp.

A huge house blazed before them, shining in the night. The front was almost entirely glass, windows stretching from the ground to the ceiling. The walls curved slightly and the back of the house was hidden. As they pulled closer, Xander could see canvases hanging on the walls. Kat's Rover stood in front of a small entranceway and Spike pulled up behind it.

"Gentlemen, how lovely to see you. Come on in, the water's fine." Kat bowed deeply as she ushered them into the house.

"Kat, is this, wow," Xander stuttered as he followed Spike into the house.

"So, this is what you've been up to, precious." Spike looked around, seeing the familiar pieces hanging in this new place. "All moved in I see."

"Yup. The last installation was this morning." Kat followed after Xander as he headed down the hall.

Xander stared up, stunned at the beauty surrounding him. "Monet, that's Monet. Hocking, Klee, Manet, Pissarro," the names spilled from his lips as he walked down the curving hallway. He reached out a tentative hand and gently brushed it down the skirt of the bronze placed on top of a low pillar. "Degas," he breathed out appreciatively. "And that's a Vermeer." He stopped, entranced. "Look at the brushwork, see, there how the shadows curve around the corner of her face, looks like a lover's caress." He stepped back, gazing up and down the hallway. "It shouldn't work but it does, the mingling of the periods, I like how they all reflect on one another, how the angularity of Kandinsky initially seems to have no connection with the Monet but it's the breaking of form, see how the blue and green clash to make the shadow here," he turned back, gesturing broadly, trying to encompass the entire room. "See, the juncture coming together to form the negative space," he stopped, just soaking it all in.

"Xander," the startled voices called out.

"Hmm," he leaned in closer to the Kandinsky, admiring the firm brushstrokes.

"Xander, luv, you, you know who all these are?" Spike moved over to stand next to Xander, eyes wide and curious.

"Yeah, I love art. Painting in particular." Xander blushed slightly, he had never told anyone this, had hidden it away. Not all his books were of the comic variety. Most people hid their porn. He hid his art history books, the coffee table collections he scoured used bookstores for, the ever growing stack of postcards of paintings he admired. It was his secret, his treasure, where he went to retreat.

Kat moved to his other side and they all tilted their heads up, admiring the piece.

"Always preferred Rubens myself," Spike finally murmured. "All that warm flesh, the way the light reflects across the canvas."

"Well, I may be obvious, but you know how much I adore Monet, all limpid pools of beauty and whatnot." Kat replied, taking Xander's hand and pulling him around the curve at the end of the hallway. "Let's go in." With that, she gently pushed on the wall and it turned on the hidden pivot.

They emerged into a huge central room. Turning back, Xander realized that the windows in the front reached the ceiling, then stopped. The rest of the house was completely blocked from any natural light. The walls were stark white and the floor was marble with faint veins of gray. A large fireplace was on the far wall, and various couches and chairs were scattered about the room. The room should have been cold, all steel and leather, but it wasn't. It was warm and inviting, brightly colored rugs scattered about, large flower arrangements strewn through the room adding vibrancy and color. Kat smiled slightly and walked to stand under the canvas dominating the room. It took up nearly the entire left-hand wall. It was painted in hues of red, orange and yellow. At first it appeared to be abstract, just a blur of color spreading from the left hand edge across to right, the intensity of the hues deepening from one edge to the other. However, closer examination revealed a form at the far right hand edge. A spill of black across the top, then white forming the curve of a cheek, a bright splash of blue, a slightly open mouth with what appeared to be the faintest trace of blood on the lower lip, more white forming the strong column of neck. The effect was astounding, as if someone had smeared a profile along the canvas, as if flame trailed back from the face. The style and brushwork was unmistakable.

"Cassandra Traxler, gods, I love her. Have you seen her Ayers rock series, looks like something from mythological times," Xander moved closer, drawn forward. "I've never seen this, though and I have the last collection, I thought that was all her works," He stopped suddenly, eyes darting from Kat to the painting and back again. It was her, a portrait of her. Realization struck hard. "Cassie, that's Cassie, no wonder Spike's painting was so perfect."

Kat nodded, a smile curling one corner of her mouth. "This wasn't in the collection. She did it for me as a farewell gift. Think it's her best work." It had been finished right before Cassie went into the hospital, both of them knowing it was her last piece. She reached out and took Xander's hands. "Want to see Spike's?"

Xander nodded sharply, following Kat, walking backwards, continuing to stare at the portrait. She led them out a door, down a short hall, Xander vaguely registering yet more paintings on the walls until they entered a set of rooms. A small sitting area led into a huge bedroom with a large closet and bath attached. Kat spun Xander around to look up at the portrait hanging on the wall to the right of the bed. It was a half profile, just the curve of a cocky grin, the perfect arch of an eyebrow, the scar clearly outlined, all again smeared on the canvas, yet somehow recognizable, the sharp angles of his face smoothed. Somehow, the portrait breathed energy and vitality.

"Beautiful," Xander sighed out. "So, so beautiful." He wasn't sure which he meant, the portrait or the vampire standing beneath it.

"Told you she could paint," Spike replied, looking up, remembering how Kat had insisted he sit still so Cassie could make the sketches needed to start the studies.

"Want to see the rest of the house," Kat quietly asked. They nodded and quickly followed her back into the main room. She led them down another short hallway and then through a large living room that branched into a dining room on one side and a large exercise room on the other. Going through the dining room, they entered a large kitchen. She led them back through the dining room and living room then through the training area. They entered another bedroom suite, this obviously hers, her clothes lying scattered about. Xander looked around, admiring once again how the use of bright colors and warm fabrics warmed up what could have been the harshness of the room. He turned then stopped, seeing yet another portrait hanging from the wall. This was directly facing the bed, the first thing anyone would see on rising.

It was the portrait of a young man, early to mid-twenties. He had dark blond hair falling into a mess over one eye. Clear gray eyes peered over wire rim glasses perched on the tip of his nose. He wore an old fashioned suit, vest and tie and held a book in his hands. A small smile danced on his lips, as if he had been caught thinking some private, well loved thought.

"John Singer Sargent," Kat's voice was low in his ear.

"Who is it, he looks a little like Spike," Xander watched as a brief flicker of anguish crossed her face.

"Thomas," Spike answered quietly. "Well, Sir Thomas Robert William Pensington to be completely accurate."

"Who was he," Xander asked. It was obvious that this was someone important to Kat. It was the only thing on the walls in the room. The room was silent for long moments while they looked up. Kat finally let out a large sigh, stretching out a hand to trace the bottom edge of the frame.

"He was mine." She stared up at the portrait for one last moment, then led them from the room.

"Only part, well, shit, where's the rest, are these your favorite pieces, or does it depend on the house, which is amazing by the way, no wonder you've been so busy, so what else do you have, how long have you been collecting? I never thought about it before but you've actually seen how the styles changed, what's your favorite period, did you actually meet them," Xander prattled away, eyes huge.

"The rest are scattered all over, primarily in Paris at the moment. I'm considering moving them here, haven't decided yet. These are my favorite pieces, I've been collecting since I can remember. Bought most of them for a song and dance at the time they were done. Actually met Degas, he could be a nasty little man. Brilliant though, don't have a favorite period, really." Kat replied, pleased at her surprise. They had wandered through the house, looping back and forth as Xander contemplated the works. Finally they had all collapsed into various chairs, Xander quickly falling asleep. The trust it displayed touched them both to the core.

"A week after the initial diagnosis," Kat handed a mug of blood to Spike, settling down on a couch facing them, a glass of wine in her hand.

"You decided to come here, even then," Spike arched an eyebrow at that.

"Yes, knew she was going to go, just a matter of when, wanted to be near you." Kat met his gaze squarely. "You aren't the only one who needed to apologize. You were right in what you said. I knew it, didn't want to hear it." Kat looked down for a moment, then let out a sigh. "Cassie knew too, I think she always knew. That's why she wouldn't let me heal her, she was tired of always competing with a memory, knowing she could never win."

"You loved her though," Spike's voice was low, calming. He hated to see her in pain.

"Yes, I did. She knew that too. Just, when she got sick I realized that I was tired of being alone. Missed you, missed being part of a family." She drank down the rest of her wine in a quick gulp and smiled wanly at Spike.

"So did I." Spike jerked his hand back as Xander suddenly stirred beneath him.

"Sorry, did I fall asleep," Xander muttered, stretching slightly, but not moving from his space on the floor.

"Only a little bit, want to get going?" Spike stayed perfectly still, not wanting to lose the warmth of Xander's back pressed into his legs. He would savor this, every little touch that he could steal.

"Yeah, better," Xander yawned widely then slowly pushed himself up. "Good thing you drove, don't think I could stay awake."

Kat led them both out the door, smiling as Spike hovered behind Xander, making sure that the human was safely inside. She sketched a quick wave as they pulled away, then locked the door firmly behind them.

"Hello, anybody here," Xander called out as he moved through the house. "Spike, Kat, hello." Xander looked around, confused. He had come home from work to find an odd message from Spike on his answering machine.

"Mate, be sure to go see Kat tonight, just, can't be there, be out, need to be sure, just, go out, meet you there. Be there by 10:00, important, tell you later." Spike's voice was hurried and hushed, almost as if he were afraid that he would be overheard.

Xander listened closely, finally hearing some noise coming from Kat's rooms. He made his way there, then stopped just inside the door to her bedroom. The only light in the room was the one on the portrait of Thomas. Kat sat on the floor underneath it, eyes locked on the painting, not moving. A magnum of champagne sat opened before her, two glasses filled and waiting. A small ring box was opened, the glow of an emerald shimmering in the light. He watched as Kat suddenly reached out, taking one of the glasses and draining it in one large pull. She filled it again and then returned to her position, never taking her eyes off the portrait.

"Kat, hey, everything okay," Xander carefully settled down next to her. "Where's Spike?" He couldn't believe that Spike would simply leave her here like this. She looked awful, pale and drained, hair plastered next to her head. The scent of alcohol was strong and he realized that the magnum was nearly half gone.

"Hunting, threw him out a couple hours ago, told him not to come back, why are you here," her words slurred out but she never turned to look at him.

"Spike left me a message, said to come, hells, Kat, what's wrong?" He reached out a tentative hand, cringing as she flinched away.

"Fucker, told him I wanted to be alone." It was the tone of her voice that was scaring him the most, the absolute note of despair.

"Kat, what's wrong, please, tell me, want to help." Xander stopped, having no idea how to continue, anger building that Spike would leave her like this. **Bastard, leaving her, thought he was her friend**

"Don't be mad at him, when I said I threw him out, I meant I literally threw him out. Wouldn't let him back in. Besides, he needs to kill something tonight. I think, hope he's fine, no, he'll be fine, won't let anything happen," Kat grabbed the glass and downed it again, rhythmically filling it from the bottle once more.

Xander stared at her, he knew he hadn't said that out loud. "Kat, what happened?"

Kat slowly turned to look at him, her eyes bloodshot and Xander suddenly realized that she had been crying. "It's Thomas's birthday. Miss him. Miss him so bloody much."

"I'm sorry," Xander reached out again, pulling her a little closer, leaving an arm around her shoulders. "You said he was yours, how long, how long were you together?" He didn't know if this was the right thing to do or not, but he wanted to keep her talking, wanted to distract her from her pain.

"Two years, two perfect years," her eyes filled with tears, but she battled them back, trying to calm down, not wanting to scare Xander. "He was my mate. He was the other half of my soul, he was my everything. He was the love of my life." She laughed bitterly at that. "Think about that, Xander. What that would mean for me to say. Time without end and he, he was my everything."

"What happened, did he die?" Xander hated himself for asking, but he had to know. If Spike was bad about concealing his past, then Kat was that much worse. She never talked about it, just made passing references with Spike that were never explained to him. He might be taking advantage of her, but this may be his only chance to find out.

"Yes. No. He was taken from me." Kat returned her gaze to the portrait, trying to remember exactly what his skin felt like next to hers, trying to remember the exact sound of his voice. She began to shake slightly and Xander tightened his grip.

"How, how did you meet?" There maybe that was a safer question.

Kat suddenly laughed, startling Xander. "Ran into him at the British Museum, literally. We tripped over each other. We were almost never apart after that. Here, give me your hands." She reached over and took Xander's hands in hers. "Close your eyes."

Xander complied, then gasped as the scene began unfolding before him.

Katarina tilted her head, admiring the urns displayed before her. She missed Greece, hadn't been back for nearly 200 years, perhaps it was time now, London had grown somewhat boring, the ritual dance of social engagements no longer distracting. She sighed, shaking her head slightly at her thoughts. What did she expect, she was the one who had chosen to remain here. She stepped back, attempting to see the urns from a new angle.

"Bloody hell," she yelped out as she crashed into a body behind her, tumbling them both to the ground.

"Sorry, so sorry, didn't see you, oh dear, miss, are you quite all right, dear me, how clumsy, please, let me help you up," a deep voice called down to her as she extracted her limbs from his.

"Stupid git, what were you thinking," her voice died off as she stared straight into a pair of luminous gray eyes. She felt her mouth drop open, heard her voice die away, knew she was staring but didn't care. Those eyes, the depths of those eyes. She vaguely realized he was still speaking, then felt his hand take hers.

"Please, forgive me, I was merely backing up," Thomas stared back, unable to stop speaking, not wanting to ever let go of her hand. He helped her rise, then reluctantly stepped back, the impropriety of the situation dawning on him. "I meant no disrespect, forgive me." His grip on the sketchbook in his hand tightened as he looked into her upturned face. He had never seen anything quite so lovely.

"It's quite fine, my fault as much as yours, I wasn't looking either," Kat sighed out. **His eyes, it's his eyes, like I've always known him** The thoughts cascaded through her mind as they stood there, the world dimming down to just them.

"Well, then, I suppose I should be going, your," Thomas paused, trying to determine what was the proper way to ask the question. There was none. He shot a quick glance down, seeing that she wore no gloves and her fingers were quite bare. "Your companion must surely be meeting you soon." He gnawed at his lower lip, amazed at his boldness.

Kat smiled suddenly, lighting her entire face. "No, no companion, I am quite alone."

Thomas smiled back at her, relief on his face. "Oh, well, then perhaps you would like to join me for a cup of tea," he pressed on, damning convention. There was no way that he was leaving before learning her name.

"I would like that," Kat replied. Good, now she would not have to ask and risk startling him. Damn the British and their manners.

He offered her his arm and she glad took it as they headed down the hall.

"Well, since there is no one to introduce us, I will take the liberty of doing so myself. Thomas Robert William Pensington at your service." He stopped to sketch her a slight bow.

"Katarina de Rien," she dropped a quick curtsey in reply. They continued down the hall, pressing slightly closer to each other, much closer than appropriate or necessary.

"Katarina," Thomas groaned out, peeling his lips from hers, "I must leave now."

"No," she murmured, pulling his face down for another kiss. "Stay."

His eyes shot open and he pulled back. "Katarina, do you mean that, truly? The scandal, you know people will talk, everyone knows I came back here with you," he stepped back. Over the last six months they had been apart only a few days when he had to travel to Paris on business. Other than that, they were together nearly every waking moment. From that first moment, they had both known. Convention be damned, he had told her he loved her that first week, relieved beyond speaking when she repeated the words. They were all but living together, alternating between her home and his, only tearing themselves apart when forced to, when forced to make some acknowledgment of other's expectations. All that was left was this, this final step.

"Thomas, do you truly think I care? I am already a scandal, a young woman living alone, no visible means of support. Besides, why do I care what they think, I love you, I want to be with you, you want to be with me, please, what possible reason is there to wait?" Katarina pressed her body into his, trying to persuade him, convince him, battle down all the ingrained taboos.

"But, we aren't," Thomas started, words swallowed by her mouth.

"What, married, do you believe that matters to me, you love me, I need nothing else." She moved her hands to his collar, slowly loosening his tie. "Please, Thomas, don't make me beg."

He groaned at that, then wrapped his hands in her hair, pushing her back, leading them to her bedroom.

He cradled her in his arms, watching her sleep, running his fingers through her hair. More beautiful every day, perfect, they fit together as if poured from the same mold. A small frown crossed his face as he bent down to kiss along her neck. Golden symbols burned there, a band running right along her hairline, gently glowing in the candlelight. He slowly reached over and picked up his sketchbook, tracing the symbols. Something tickled his mind, he had seen these somewhere in the course of his studies, somewhere in those books piling his home. Perhaps these would tell them who she truly was. He kissed the back of her neck again, settling back down. He had no idea how to tell her that he knew she wasn't human, she was so careful to keep any sign hidden. But the more comfortable she became with him, the more the signs were present. All the languages she knew, the casual familiarity with the past, the way the flames in the fire would follow her as she paced, her strength. He never asked, never questioned. But now, now he could investigate, could see who she was.

"That was wonderful," Katarina sighed out, "lovely dinner, lovely play, beautiful flowers, perfect gentleman." She leaned up and kissed him gently.

Thomas smiled slightly, then pulled her over to the couch. "Katarina, please, I want to talk to you for a moment." She settled next to him on the couch and he curled his fingers into hers. He took a deep breath, gathering his courage.

"I know who are, Mistress."

Katarina jumped back, yanking away from him, pacing frantically. "I, I don't know what you are talking about," she stammered, heart pounding frantically in her chest. No, no he couldn't know, couldn't understand, wouldn't understand.

"Mistress, I know. I know who you are, what you are. Please, just, sit down again, please," Thomas begged, moving to pull her back down. "Please, I need to talk to you. Please."

Katarina allowed herself to be pulled down on next to him, still shaking, still afraid. How could he possibly know. She moved away, trying to put some distance between them, already missing the warmth of his touch.

"Katarina, please don't pull away. I saw the banding on your neck, traced the symbols, discovered the truth. I know why you did not tell me, why you were afraid of what I might do or say. But realize this, it only proves how much you love me, that you would give yourself to me." Thomas traced a hand down her cheek. This powerful woman, this ruler of all, holding everything back for him. "I know there is nothing I can give you, nothing you cannot have just for the asking, nothing other than myself." He pulled the box out and gently pressed it into her hands. "I want to be yours, want you to be mine, for as long as you will have me. Please, I have no right to ask, no right to make a claim, but please, Kat, please marry me."

Xander started as her hands suddenly let go of his, suddenly coming back to the present. He caught his breath, the vision of it still in his mind. "He was your husband, I didn't know you were married."

"No, we didn't have the chance," Kat whispered. She had to stop there, she couldn't let Xander feel the pain. "He was taken from me the night before." She slowly slumped down, finally giving in to the pain, allowing herself to slip away. "Stolen from me." She passed out, completely drained.

Xander carefully lifted her, placing her on the bed, smoothing the hair from her face. "Ah, Kat, who could take something away from you."

"Good question, mate."

Xander whirled around. Spike stood in the door, blood streaking the side of his face. Spike stalked over to stand next to him, placing a protective hand on Kat's leg.

"Take it she showed you." Spike quietly stroked a hand down her leg. Xander had a glazed look in his eye and Spike was certain what it was.

"A little, enough to know what he meant to her." Xander could still feel it, the intensity almost overwhelming. "So, who the hell could take something from her?"

Spike growled out the answer, hate clear in his voice.

"Angelus."

Part Seven

Xander settled down on the bed next to Kat, running a shaky hand through the dark hair. "Angelus, no wonder she reacted like that when I said Angel's name, gods, Spike, how could he do that, why would he do that?" Xander watched her chest rise and fall as the shallow breaths came from the thin figure under the covers.

Spike looked over from where he sat on the opposite side of her body, pain clear in his eyes. "Because he's a fucking idiot, because he thought she betrayed us, because he could," Spike sighed as he looked down. "She swore revenge, got it." Spike's eyes blazed in the low light of the room. "Should have known she would know just how to take revenge, taught him almost everything he knew, she did."

"Spike," Xander whispered, careful not to wake Kat. She was still quivering under the blankets but the worst of the tremors had finally stopped. "You're doing it again. Please, tell me what happened. Did you know, were you there, just, what the hell did that asshole do to her?" The last words came out as a vicious hiss.

"Sorry, pet, don't mean to put you off," Spike gently rose from the bed, moving out of the bedroom and into the small sitting room. He pulled the couch around so that he could watch Kat sleeping, then motioned Xander over to join him. "Long story and not one I like to tell." His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, then he raised his head to stare straight into Xander's eyes. "But you need to know. Started back in 1895, still with Darla, Dru and my never to be sufficiently damned Sire, came back to London."

Xander leaned back, listening to the low murmur of Spike's voice.

London - 1895

"I think we should just go to the Registrar's Office tomorrow and get it bloody well done and over with," Katarina pouted for the tenth time that day.

"Not likely, Kat. I'm marrying you good and proper in front of God and all our friends. Make you stand there in that dress and act all blushing and virginal." Thomas grinned unabashedly, joy bubbling up in him. He still found it hard to believe that she had agreed to this, had agreed to bind her life with his. He knew what it meant, knew that she was turning her back on everything that she was to be with him. The love it displayed overwhelmed him, caused him to swell with pride. "It's only another month."

"I know, I know," she ran her hand over the list once again. "Flowers are set, music is set, hired extra help, finally decided on the menu, so glad we decided to do this here instead of in church." She looked over at that. "Are you ever going to tell me where we are going on our honeymoon?"

"No, I don't think so," Thomas slowly replied, seeing the frustration rise in her eyes. "Have to have some surprises from you, you know." He listened to the low growl of frustration and chuckled evilly.

A loud series of knocks interrupted them before Katarina could start her litany of complaints as to Thomas's secrecy. She tilted her head, eyes narrowing, then let out a low hiss.

"Thomas, stay behind me, no matter what happens," she grabbed his wrist and led him towards the door.

"Katarina, what, what's wrong?" He had never seen her like this, so focused, her power suddenly flaring to life. The grip on his arm was painful but he couldn't bring himself to say a word. The pounding resumed until Katarina suddenly yanked open the door.

"Ah, Mistress, so good to see you," Angelus crooned, sweeping in, pulling Darla along behind him. Spike and Dru followed after, Dru singing softly to herself. Angelus suddenly stopped, head thrown back as he scented deeply. "Mistress, there is a human here," he growled out, shifting immediately to gameface.

Thomas gasped. "A vampire, Katarina, please, get back," he struggled to throw himself in front of her but was stopped as her hands tightened on his wrists.

"I know, please, they cannot hurt me." Katarina murmured, reaching up to run a calming hand down his face. She whirled around when she heard the growling grow louder.

"Angelus. When did you return to London?" Her voice was cold. She glanced over at them all, eyes softening slightly as she saw Spike and Dru. "William. Pleasure to see you as always."

"Mistress, what are you doing with a human," Angelus suddenly launched himself forward, trying to wrench her away. The human reeked of her, her scent permeating every fiber of his being.

A firm hand grasped him by the throat as she slammed him into a wall, her other hand never losing hold of Thomas's arm. "Not that it is any business of yours, Angelus, but he is mine. He is my mate. Now, answer me this, are you passing through or have you decided to settle here again. Because things have changed since you were last here. Which is it?" She shook him slightly, loosening her grasp just enough to allow him to answer.

"We have returned, heard that there was no one here, thought that hunting would be good," Angelus croaked out, hands reaching to pull her arm away. Bright eyes stared into his and she abruptly stepped back, tumbling him to the ground.

"That's because I have staked a claim. London is mine. Do you understand me Angelus, mine. You may not hunt here. If you choose to stay, that is your business. But you must hunt elsewhere. Now, if you can act like a civilized being, we can sit for some dinner. I still have blood in the cellar, I am sure." Her voice rang with clear authority and the rest of the vampires took a step back.

"Mistress, why have you done this?" Angelus slowly rose to his feet, attempting to tower over her. "Is it because of that, that person," he spit out, a snarl curling on his lips. "You cannot truly be taking him as your mate." A bark of laughter rang out.

"Yes, I am. I have. He is my mate. Either accept that or be gone. Know this, I will not hesitate to stake any of you should you attempt to challenge my claim. You do not want me as an enemy, Angelus, you know this. So, what shall it be, stay and break bread with me, or leave and sever all ties. Choose Angelus." Their eyes locked and the air in the room went still as the gaze lengthened between them. The only sound in the room came from the beating of Thomas and Katarina's hearts. Finally, Angelus tore his gaze away and gathered his family behind him.

"This is not the end of this, Mistress. You are mad to do this," he led them out the door, stomping loudly. Spike turned to catch Katarina's gaze, shrugging helplessly as his Sire led them out the door.

"Come back later," Katarina mouthed to him and he nodded minutely.

"How could she do this," Angelus screamed as he threw a chair across the room, "Staking a claim, taking a human as her mate."

Spike stepped back, fearing to get caught in the path of the angry vampire. "Careful there, mate. That chair is made of wood you know."

Angelus pinned him down with a fierce glare and then turned back, knocking the table aside. "Of all the things she could have done, this, this is unbearable. Declaring London as hers, what is she thinking and taking a human, A HUMAN, as a mate," the growling grew fiercer and Spike faintly heard Dru and Darla exit the house, trying to get as much distance between themselves and Angelus as possible.

"What is so bloody awful about that, her decision, you know, don't see how it affects you. Unless you're sweet on her," Spike slouched down on one of the remaining chairs, an insolent grin on his face. For his part, he was thrilled to see her. Underneath the fury he could scent how happy she was, could see the care in the way she touched her mate's face. About time she was happy, about time she had someone as well.

"What is so bad, have you learned nothing? She is an Ancient, all powerful. And she is submitting herself to some man, some creature that should not even have the right to be in the same room with her, taking him as hers, what is she thinking. I know her, she won't even make him immortal, oh no, she would never change him like that." The vampire paced frantically back and forth. "Don't you see, she is turning her back on us, aligning herself with them." Angelus dropped to the floor, turning a shard of china over and over in his hands.

"Her choice after all." Spike replied, trying to keep his voice perfectly neutral. No sense in upsetting his Sire further.

"No, it's not. She knows what this means. War. Taking away an entire city like that. There can only be one response." The voice was hard, the decision already made.

"Still think you are overreacting, mate. Tell you what, I'm going to see where our lovely ladies have gotten to. You just stay there and brood, why don't you." Spike pushed himself off the chair, headed out the door and back to Katarina's. He wanted to talk to her himself, find out why she had done this.

"Not a bad idea, William. Although, I prefer to think of it as planning." Angelus leaned against the wall. She would pay for this. Would pay dearly.

Spike checked once again to be sure that he was not being followed, then knocked softly on the door. It was immediately opened and he was pulled quickly inside.

"Mistress, so good to see you, I missed you," Spike murmured in her hair as he wrapped her in a quick embrace.

"Ah, dear William, missed you as well. Come inside, I want you to meet Thomas." She led him into the sitting room to where Thomas stood waiting before the fire.

"Spike, this is Sir Thomas Robert William Pensington. Thomas, this is Spike." The pride was clear in her voice as she moved to stand next to him by the fire.

"Spike, it's well, glad to meet you," Thomas stuttered out, reaching out a hand.

With a raised eyebrow, Spike shook the outstretched hand. "So, Mistress, seems like you've been busy since we last met." A sudden flash of green caught his eye and he looked down to see the ring on her finger. "Congratulations are in order I see."

"Thank you. Thomas, please, I need to speak to Spike here for a moment alone. I'll be with you shortly." She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then Thomas slowly left the room, staring at Spike the entire time, possessiveness radiating from his body.

"So, never thought you would be settling down." Spike nestled into the couch, waiting for Katarina to join him.

"Neither did I. But, he is my soulmate. The one I never thought I would find." She sat next to Spike, the truth burning in her eyes.

"And you are marrying him. Katarina, does he even know who you are? Does he understand what a sacrifice you are making?" Spike stared back, searching her face. She protected him. He would protect her. And if this Thomas person wasn't worthy, then, well, then there would be no stopping him from preventing this marriage from taking place.

"Yes. He knows exactly who I am. And he loves me because of it. Not in spite of it. Be happy for me, William. Please, everyone else has already left." It was true. All her order had turned their backs, refusing even to acknowledge her relationship. While she may have walked away countless years before, that did not mean that she had severed all ties. She may not want to admit it, but it hurt her deeply. They were still her order and they were rejecting her.

"If he hurts you," Spike's eyes flashed yellow, then he reached out and took her hand. "Lovely ring, suits you. When's the wedding?"

"A month today. Will you come?" She held her breath, not wanting to reveal how much it would mean to her.

"Certainly. Have you claimed him for your order yet or are you waiting for the honeymoon? Sure haven't waited for anything else, can smell him on you, you know," he leered at her, rewarded by a cuff to the head.

"Can't. He's not meant to be immortal. So," she trailed off, eyes darkening for a moment.

"So if you do, you'll lose what makes him what you love," Spike finished. "Oh, Kat, I'm sorry."

"So am I. But that just makes every moment we have more special. Now, come on, you two will like each other. He writes terrible poetry too. But you cannot tell him I said that, he thinks I like it."

Spike laughed as she dragged him into the next room.

"Please just stay, it will make everything so much easier tomorrow," Katarina slowly twisted in Thomas's arms, rubbing herself against him.

"Now, now, we discussed this, you know I want to enjoy my last night of decadent bachelor freedom," he leaned down and kissed her forehead, trying to bat her hands away.

"Oh yes, I know, sorting out your books. I could come over and help," a short pause, "catalogue." She batted her eyes at him. "I can be very, very helpful you know. Remember last time?"

Thomas groaned slightly as the vision popped into his mind. "Yes, I remember last time. And as I recall, you did not catalogue the books so much as shed your clothing."

"Well, you were most helpful in undoing the buttons," she innocently replied. "Stay."

"No, want to follow some traditions. Speaking of traditions, close your eyes and come with me." He watched as she rolled her eyes but finally complied, giggling slightly.

"Where are we going? Thomas," she whined out.

"Shh, quiet. Here we are. Now," he spun her around, "Open your eyes."

Katarina did so, then gasped in pleasure. "Thomas, is this where you have been going in the afternoons?" The portrait hung from the wall in their study. She moved forward, reaching up the gently touch the canvas.

"Careful, the oils might not quite be dry yet." He pulled her into a firm embrace. "Bridegroom's gift to the bride. Said how much you admired his work. Overheard you discussing getting me to sit for someone when we came back. Decided to do it beforehand. Do you like?"

"I love. Love it, love you." She sighed in pleasure, then pulled away. "This is just a bribe to get me to let you leave. Fine, it worked. Leave me here sitting in front of this, picturing all the ways to get you out of that suit."

Thomas laughed and then kissed her quickly, gathering up his self-control. This was it, the last night they would be apart. "I will be back at 5:00 tomorrow afternoon to begin to get ready. It is only," he glanced at his watch. "Eighteen hours away. Then only another three until you are Lady Thomas Robert William Pensington." They stopped in the doorway and Katarina leaned up for one last kiss. He trailed his fingers down her cheek gently. "Good night my lady." He bowed deeply, then backed down the sidewalk, staring back at her.

"Good night my lord," she called out, watching until he turned the corner, then pulled the door shut, heading back to stand before the portrait.

Thomas whistled to himself, moving quickly down the sidewalk. While he knew he had nothing to fear from the more supernatural creatures of the night, none of them were foolish enough to harm an Ancient's mate, there were still dangers of the human variety. He kept a watch out for a cab, best to be safe. He saw one standing at the corner and he quickened his stride. He never noticed the dark figures move from the shadows of the doorway, never knew he was anything but alone until the sharp blow to his head.

Spike looked up in surprise as Angelus and his new minions led a struggling man into the room. "Bringing a toy back for Dru, how thoughtful," he started, then stopped in shock as the head slowly was drawn back. "Thomas." With two quick strides he attempted to cross the room to pull the man free. Angelus met him just as he reached down to snap one of the minion's necks.

"Leave him be, Spike." The command sounded in his ear and Spike jumped back, hissing sharply.

"Angelus, what the fucking hell are you doing, that's Thomas, that the Mistress's mate. Oh hells sake, they are getting married tomorrow, what are you playing at?" Spike struggled in the firm grasp, trying and failing to keep the panic from his voice.

"Yes, and you were planning on going, weren't you? Thought I didn't know, foolish childe," the words spit in his ear, fangs trailing down his throat. "She knew it would be war. She left him unprotected. Now, now she will learn. She took a human, she knew the consequences. Now she will pay."

Spike finally yanked free, spinning across the room. "This is madness. She will come for you and she will kill you. You know what power she has, she will destroy you without thinking twice." His eyes darted about frantically, trying to find some way to escape, some way to get to her, to warn her.

Angelus just laughed, then lifted the amulet from under his shirt. "No, not as long as I have this. As long as I wear this, she cannot touch me." He grabbed Spike as the younger vampire raced for the door. "Oh, trying to warn her. How sweet. Always knew you had a soft spot for her. So human." Angelus slammed him into the wall, then summoned one of his minions from the back. "Take him away. Chain him in the basement." His lip curled up in a vicious snarl. "Get Dru. If he tries to escape, stake her." Angelus turned his back as the screams erupted from his childe.

"Now as for you," he ran a finger under Thomas's jaw, tilting his head to the left. "I have plans for you."

"She will destroy you. However long it takes." Thomas spat out, staring straight into those yellow eyes.

"No, she won't. Don't forget. You are nothing but a human." Angelus leaned down and sank his fangs into the waiting neck, draining him dry, able to faintly taste her on the mortal's skin. Just before the last beating of the heart, he opened his wrist and pressed it firmly to the pale lips. "Drink, yes, drink, that's right, become mine, mine, not hers, mine." The firm pull began and Angelus smiled tightly. "Yes, my childe, drink." Thomas collapsed next to him and Angelus settled down, waiting for his rebirth.

"Where the hell is he," Katarina stared out the window, glancing over again at the clock. 6:00. Still no Thomas. She closed her eyes and concentrated deeply. Something was terribly, desperately wrong. She could not sense his heartbeat anywhere. She battled down the panic rising in her. It was just nerves, nothing was actually wrong, just nerves. She moved back to her wardrobe, slowly and calmly pulling out a long, thin bladed knife. No, nothing was wrong. Just because her tie to her mate was severed that was no reason to strip down, to change into a pair of trousers and a jacket. No reason to bring the knife to her braid and chop it away. No reason to tuck what was left of her hair under a cap. No reason to slip out the window and land on the ground. No reason to begin following the faint traces of his scent.

Spike came tearing around the corner, blood streaming after him, Dru in tow. He had finally managed to tear the ring holding the chain around his wrist from the wall and break the neck of the minion guarding him. He grabbed the keys as the body fell and freed himself, then tore after the others in the room. In the confusion he managed to stake the vampire holding Dru hostage and he pulled her into the night, frantically trying to reach Katarina. Dru had been most displeased at being yanked away from her Daddy and she was clawing desperately at him, trying to pull away.

"Dru, stop it, trying to save you, she'll kill us all," he panted as he rounded on the house. It was blazing in the night, flowers everywhere, the sounds of the preparations for the festivities ringing in the night. He stopped, trying to scent out her presence, trying to determine some way of making it into the house. A quick movement down the street caught his attention and he realized with a start that it was her, dressed like a man.

"Mistress," he ran after her. "Please, Mistress, wait."

Katarina stopped when she heard Spike's desperate call. She turned, going completely still as the blood drenched vampire stopped in front of her. "William, William, what happened?" She jumped back as Dru lashed out at them both.

"Spike, take me back. Why are you making me leave my precious Angelus, he brought me a pressie, he did, said it was for me, that the Mistress was through with him and that I could have him as a pet, mean Spike, cruel Spike, dragging me away like that, and staking those others, he will be so angry with you, we must go back, want to see my new pet, such beautiful eyes, so big and gray," Dru kicked out, nearly pulling free from Spike.

"Spike," Katarina's voice suddenly wavered, "Spike, please tell me that she is hallucinating, please, Spike," her voice cracked as she stepped back.

"No, I am so sorry, I had no idea, he took Thomas last night, I tried to get away, to tell you, but he chained me up, threatened to stake Dru," Spike panted out, seeing her heart break in front of his eyes. "In the warehouse next to the Howling Dog tavern, still there."

"Leave. Now. Get as far away as you can." He heard the words faintly as she disappeared into the night.

"Dru, come on. We have to go now." Spike sized up the hansom coming up the street. Yes, that would do. He didn't think she would care if he hunted now. He leapt next to the driver and quickly drained him dry. Jumping down, he threw Dru into the back and then whipped the horses, heading out into the night.

The doors blew back as the minions dissolved into ash. She burst into the warehouse, striding furiously into the blackness inside. She felt a presence behind her and she simply tilted her neck, allowing the foolish vampire to sink his fangs in deeply. The screams sounded like music in her ears as the blood ran through him, setting him on fire from the inside. He fell back, shrieking as the fire burst from his body. She continued ever on, the walls shaking with the fury of her steps.

Angelus smiled lazily, pressing his hands deeper into the thick blond waves. "Nothing to worry about, my childe, don't stop now." His head tilted back as Thomas resumed his ministrations to the vampire's cock. He felt the air shimmer as she entered the room and he opened one eye.

"Well, now, Mistress, at least this gives me some indication as to why you would be willing to profane yourself that way. Quite the talented tongue, but, then again, I'm sure that you already knew that. Ow, careful, childe, watch the fangs."

Katarina went perfectly still, watching in horror as Angelus moaned loudly, shivering as he came in her mate's mouth. She listened closely, knowing the heartbeat was gone, but some desperate part of her still madly hoping she was wrong.

"Very good, my childe, come, give me a kiss." Angelus pulled Thomas along the length of his body, then leaned down, kissing him deeply, licking his seed off the cool lips. Slowly he spun the new vampire around, proudly displaying his toy.

Katarina stalked slowly forward, flames blazing in her eyes. "Goodbye, Angelus, I always thought you were wiser than this." She raised her hand, lightening crackling in the air. A blaze of white flashed through the room.

"Oh, sorry, did you think that would hurt me?" The words rang out as Angelus gleefully saw the shock cross her face. "You are right, my dear. I am wiser than that. Do you think I would take what was yours without some protection." He slowly lifted the amulet out from under his shirt, spinning it in the air. "Look familiar? As you well know, you cannot harm me as long as I am wearing this. Now, come, let's sit and talk like reasonable adults. After all, you should be grateful to me, I have given him what you would not."

Katarina slowly sank to her knees, utter helplessness crashing over her. "Why, why did you do this? I did nothing to you." The sobs were drawn from her and she did nothing to try and stop them.

"You did nothing. Nothing other than betray all that you are. Nothing other than taking their side. Nothing other than choosing to debase yourself, to give up all that you are. And for what, a mere mortal. But now, now he's so much more. Aren't you, my pet?" Angelus nuzzled into the vampire's hair for a moment. "So, do you still love him, Mistress?" The voice was mocking and cruel.

She looked up, seeing the demonic planes of her loves face. Gone was the sensitive and gentle soul, gone was all the made him what he was. Only this shell was left. This mocking reminder of what she once had. But that was enough. "Yes. Please."

"Please, does my Mistress beg? Beg for me. What will you give me to give him back to you." Angelus sneered, watching her squirm. Finally, she was bowing to him, finally reduced to this abject state.

"Anything, anything, just, please, please give him back to me." She was shameful and small, but she no longer cared. She would do anything to have that body back in her arms. She would find some way to bring him back. While it had never been accomplished before, she would find a way. There would be a way.

"Anything. Fine, I want all your wealth. I want the chateau in Burgundy. I want the mansion in Bonn. I want you to call me Lord." He tilted his head, seeing the tears pouring down her face.

"All of it, yours. Just give him back to me." She rose to her feet and took a tentative step forward, head still hung in submission.

"Beg me. Call me Lord." Her desperation was intoxicating, to have this power over her, he could taste it on his tongue.

"Please, I'm begging you. Please, my lord, just give him back to me, please, just release him, please my lord." She was far, far past any pride, she only knew this need.

"Fine." He moved his hand slowly from behind his back, pushing Thomas forward with the other.

Katarina tore across the room, grabbing Thomas in her arms, pressing firm kisses on his cheeks. "Don't worry, my love, I'm fix this, I'll get you back."

"No, I don't think you will." Angelus raised the stake and plunged into Thomas's back.

"Kat," Thomas sighed as he turned to dust in her arms.

Her screams ripped through the building, blasting the walls flat, the ceiling disintegrating to dust. Angelus left at a dead run, dodging the falling debris, fleeing into the night. She stood there for hours, scream after scream ripping through her body. The storms quickly rose, the thunder and lightening echoing her cries. Finally, as dawn rose, she collapsed to the ground, running her fingers through the dust. Her face settled into perfect stillness.

"If it takes until the end of time, I will have my revenge, Angelus. All that is yours shall be mine." She stood and vanished into the dawning light.

Romany - 1898

The old gypsy woman collapsed, drained from the power of the spell. Gentle hands lifted her back up, running calm fingers through the thick gray hair.

"Come, drink this," a clear voice echoed in the night air. The gypsy woman gratefully accepted the steaming mug of tea.

"Thank you. For everything. Without you, I would never have been able to do this." The old woman reached out, taking the hands in hers. "Whatever he has done, he shall suffer, for all time. Know that."

Bright blue eyes met the old woman's across the fire. "I know. And thank you. Without you, I could never have taken my revenge."

"How did you know how to alter the curse," the woman pressed on. Whoever this strange woman was, it was clear she had immense power of her own. She did not understand why the blue eyed girl had not simply cursed him herself.

"Ancient secret," Katarina smiled bitterly at the unintentional irony of the words. "And I cannot move against him myself. He made sure of that. You have my eternal thanks, grandmother." She stood, then leaned down and pressed a small purse into the gnarled hands. "May peace follow you to the end of your days."

Angelus lay gasping on the ground, the pain wrenching through him. He had no idea what just occurred but the weight of all his sins had suddenly torn through his soul. His soul. He had a soul.

"Ahh, Angelus, as I said, I thought you were wiser than that." The slim figure emerged from the shadows, kneeling on the ground beside him. She yanked the amulet from his neck. He was unable to stop her, couldn't stop her, knew that he deserved whatever she chose to do to him. "This only protects you from direct actions by me. Surely you must have realized that I would enlist the help of others." She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Enjoy yourself, Angelus, I'm off now. Have to go find that family of yours. You took my soul. I gave you yours back. You took my family. I will make yours mine. Seems about right to me."

He tried to cry out, but could not find the strength to do so.

"Angelus staked him, oh dear gods, I knew we should have killed him a long time ago, the next time I see him, I swear," Xander ground out. He was having trouble staying still, the rage ripping through him too great. He suddenly heard a low whimper come from the vampire next to him.

"I should have stopped him," Spike whispered. "She always stood by me and I let him do that, I should have stopped him."

Xander turned to face the vampire, wiping the tears from his face. "Spike, what could you have done. You know he would have killed Dru and he probably would have killed you, too." Xander hurriedly continued as he saw Spike stiffen beside him. "I'm not saying that he was stronger than you, but, Spike, c'mon, he would have set them all against you, you wouldn't have survived. There was nothing you could have done."

"I should have known, he was so quiet, I knew he was planning something, I just never thought he would move directly against her," Spike stared straight ahead, eyes fixed far in the past. "I betrayed her," he lowered his head to his hands and began to weep, the pain still fresh.

Xander never hesitated. He spun off the couch and knelt in front of Spike, pulling the cool body into his arms. "Don't, not your fault," he murmured meaningless sounds, running his hands down Spike's back, trying to calm him. Spike's arms wrapped around Xander's waist and pulled him tighter, Spike's head coming to rest on Xander's shoulder.

"Calm down, over now, she's right here, everything will be fine." They rocked back and forth, Spike's sobs finally slowing until he was cradled in Xander's arms, comforted by the steady heartbeat.

Xander pulled back slightly and tried to rub the blood tears away. "You're a bit of a mess, what say we go get you cleaned up?" He kept his voice low. Hitching sobs were still coming from Spike and he didn't want to upset the vampire once again.

"In a minute, just, want to stay here for a bit," Spike muttered, drawing Xander closer.

"That's fine, as long as you want," Xander quietly replied, carding his fingers through Spike's hair. They clung to each other for long moments until Spike finally leaned back, letting out a long sigh.

"Let's go, blondie, don't want her to wake up to see you all bloody, might think I took a swing at you or something," Xander joked, attempting to lighten the mood.

Spike snorted at that. "Like to see you try, mate."

"Maybe later," Xander reluctantly released the vampire then stood and offered a hand to Spike. Spike took it and he pulled the vampire up, a little harder then he meant to. Spike crashed into his chest and Xander caught them before they fell back on the carpet. They stood there for a moment, just staring into each other's eyes, Spike's face still streaked red from his tears.

"Spike," the name was drawn from him against his will. Xander swallowed hard, then brought a hand up to cradle the beloved face.

Spike didn't reply, he simply leaned up and caught Xander's lips with his own.

Part Eight

Slowly, so slowly, Xander brought up his other hand to rest on Spike's face, taking care not to move his lips from the cool slide of skin against skin. He gently twined his fingers in the soft hair, drawing them ever so slightly closer. He felt Spike's hands tentatively come to rest on his waist and he smiled, he couldn't help it, he smiled into the kiss, his lips parting slightly as he did so. He felt those cool lips part under his and he tilted his head, the pressure of it opening their mouths just enough, the perfect amount to bring his tongue to trace along that full bottom lip. Just a trace, just a touch, then retreating, pulling back, not pushing too far.

**Don't press, don't, scare him away, no pressure, just needs comfort, kiss between friends, that's all** Xander repeated the words over and over, trying to calm himself, trying to ignore the taste of Spike in his mouth, finally **FINALLY** in his mouth. Salty, coppery, hint of tobacco. Reluctantly, he pulled back, eyes still closed, breathing through his nose, arching back to keep the evidence of his desire away from Spike. He rested his forehead against Spike's, still pressing his eyes shut, not wanting to lose the moment, embedding it in his mind. This might be the only chance he would ever have and he didn't want it to end, not quite yet. He ran his fingers down Spike's face, the sharp edge of the cheekbone so familiar now.

"Gods, Xander," he heard Spike sigh. The sound of it made his eyes open wide. The longing, desire and fear all tangled together, the sound of his own soul. He started to pant, right in Spike's ear, he couldn't stop it, cursing himself as he did so. "Xander, please," that low voice again and then Spike's hands suddenly tightened on his waist and he knew, he knew that this was what he wanted, what he needed, the end of everything, the moment he had been moving towards his entire life.

He slammed his mouth back down on Spike's, his control gone, blown away by the feel of Spike's hand tugging his shirt from his pants, destroyed by the moan that came from the vampire in that eternal space in time before their tongues finally touched. Frantically they tore into each other, lips bruising from the ferocity of it. All those long months of frustration, lonely nights when they were separated only by a thin wall and their own fears, all were poured into this, this dance of tongue with tongue, this union of all they were and all they could be, all they would be.

Xander faintly heard whimpering and for one small second he stopped, damning himself. Kat was still passed out on the bed and here he was, ravishing her kin not twenty feet away. Then he realized the whimpering was coming from him, that he was the one making those desperate sounds of need and desire. It pushed him higher, even higher than the feel of Spike's fingers tracing the ridges of his spine. His grip on Spike's head grew firmer as he tried to pull them together, to merge their flesh into one. He never wanted this to end, never wanted to leave the cool haven of that mouth, the protective circle of those strong arms. The spots swimming on the insides of his eyelids, however, finally forced him to yank away, to gasp in air as he felt Spike's arms curl around his back, holding him upright. He dropped his head to Spike's shoulder and gasped, trying to fill his lungs so that he could dive back again and again and again. He felt the grin on his neck, heard Spike's low chuckle in his ear and he quickly joined in, the two of them shaking with laughter in each other's arms.

"Long time coming, that," Spike murmured, stroking the dark mane of hair, reverently feeling the velvet of the golden skin. He couldn't help it, he hadn't meant to kiss Xander, but the feel of that strong chest under his and the throaty sound of his name in Xander's mouth had been his undoing. **Never bet it all on a single hand** Spike grinned wider, for some reason the long ago lessons in gambling coming back to him. Well, he had. And it appeared that he had won. At least if the press of Xander's flesh into his thigh was any indication. He shifted his hips slightly, moving so that Xander would feel the echoing hardness, so that Xander would know just what it was he was doing, had always done to him.

"Uh huh," Xander managed to wheeze out. **Ohh, such pretty words I can say** He wanted to say so much else, but he still couldn't really breathe.

"Silver tongued devil, aren't you, pet," Spike gently teased, stroking calming hands down Xander's back. He could feel Xander's eyes roll at that, even if he couldn't see the lovely face.

"Fuck you, Spike," Xander spoke slowly and clearly, unable to think of any clearer invitation than that. Spike's hands went still for a moment, then the fingers clawed into his back as Spike sucked in a quick breath. A feeling of triumph surged through him. **Finally shocked you bleach boy** He lifted his head and looked Spike straight in the eyes.

"Xander," Spike groaned out, eyes turning a deep, deep blue as he looked up into those dark eyes, "Xander, bloody hell, don't" Spike convulsively swallowed, unable to continue for a moment. Xander slowly turned his hips, bringing their burning lengths into contact and Spike's head fell back, the sensation ringing through him. "Don't tease,"

"Not teasing," Xander bent down and sucked on Spike's throat, hands roaming over the firm body in his arms, lapping up and down the white column wantonly laid out before him.

Spike suddenly pushed away, forcibly wrenching them apart. Xander looked up, startled, then dropped his gaze to the floor. **Fuck, oh fuck, too much, too fast** He had ruined this, gone too far, tried to take too much yet again. As always. He stared down, embarrassment building in him. Great, now what was he supposed to do. He vaguely registered movement out of the corner of his eye but couldn't force himself to look.

"Xan, luv," cool fingers reached out to take his. "Thought we might to move this somewhere a little more private." Xander felt his arm being raised, then a gentle kiss dropped onto the back of his hand. Relief rushed through him and he nodded, unable to speak. They quietly made their way out of the room, wordlessly walking through the house, hand in hand, until they reached Spike's rooms.

Spike paused as they reached the doorway to his bedroom. He leaned over, dropping a quick kiss on Xander's cheek. "Stay here a moment, pet. Just want to do something first." Xander nodded, leaning into the frame of the door. The desperate heat was fading, lowering into a warmer flame, a slow burn of desire and love. He watched Spike smoothly glide around the room, lighting the candles scattered about until the room was glowing in the flickering light. Spike finally circled back, stopping right in front of Xander, hand stretched out in silent invitation. Xander reached out his hand and took the vampire's in his own, letting Spike pull him into the room, across the threshold and into the warm room. Spike led them to the bed and settled them there, nestling in the space next to Xander on the bed. His eyes glowed in the night, the flames glittering off the dark polish on his nails. They simply sat for a moment, fingers entwined, letting the passion build, all the words still unspoken whispering in the air. Finally, it was too much. This time it was Xander who leaned down, who caught Spike's lips gently in his, nibbling so tenderly at the cool flesh.

Spike leaned back, pulling Xander closer, falling down, dragging Xander over to cover him. Xander shifted his weight, drawing up to kneel on the bed, hands running down Spike's sides, Spike's hands ghosting across his back. He concentrated everything on the body beneath him, memorizing every sound and sigh, testing to see just what worked best, what caused those little whimpers and the unconscious thrusting of those slim hips. He kissed his way across Spike's face, dropping feather light touches on Spike's eyelids and chin, licking up his jaw to that perfectly formed ear. He took the lobe in his teeth and nibbled gently, breathing softly as he did so, alternating hot and cool on the pale flesh. He was rewarded with the sudden hiss of a sharply drawn breath and he smiled to himself. He felt Spike trying to pull him down, trying to draw him ever closer, felt the restraint quivering as Spike held back from using his strength to just crush Xander to him.

Xander moved down Spike's neck, running the tip of his tongue along the faint trace of the vein. He dimly noted that Spike must had fed recently, the stolen blood moving through the inhuman body, making the blue line sharp on the white skin. "So beautiful, you're so beautiful," the words cut into the silence wrapping around them. "Wanted you for so long, Spike," the sounds tumbled from him, vibrating on their skin.

Spike said nothing, but his hands grew more frantic, ripping Xander's shirt from his pants, tugging it upwards, the thinnest sliver of blue visible between the dark lashes. Xander leaned up only enough to allow Spike to pull the shirt over his head, then he returned to worshipping Spike's skin. He ran his hands under Spike's shirt, moving his mouth over the fabric to rest on one of the firm nipples peaking the fabric. He mouthed the flesh through the fabric, his other hand moving to tweak the other nipple. A loud moan came from the body under his, Spike arching helplessly in his hands.

"Xander," Spike moaned out, the sensation burning through him. He could see the flesh glowing over him and he moaned again. "Please, want to feel you." He looked up to see Xander's eyes turn black and then he was being lifted from the bed, a strong arm holding him up as his shirt was yanked upwards, grace giving way to haste, to desperate need. Finally, finally bare chested, he pulled Xander back to him, finally able to feel that heat burn him, the skin so much smoother than he had ever allowed himself to imagine, had ever dared to dream. Greedy hands roamed all over him and he felt Xander's head dive down again, taking a nipple into his mouth, tonguing it to a firm peak.

"So good, you taste you good," Xander murmured, moving ever so slightly to lie between Spike's thighs, trying to stop the thrusting of his hips. He knew he was torturing them both, but he wanted it like this, wanted it to last as long as possible, to drag it out, savor every second. He kissed down that perfect torso, breathing in Spike's scent. "Smell so good, knew you would," he had to speak, had to give voice to the desire, had to hear the sound of his own words, it made it real, let him know it wasn't merely another dream. Spike's hands were buried in his hair, running through the thick strands. He traced along the ridges of Spike's abdomen, lapping up the small beads of sweat that had formed there.

Spike pulled him back up, bringing their mouths back together, tasting the salt of his own skin on Xander's lips. Another loud groan escaped him and he pulled Xander higher, bringing his mouth to Xander's chest, tracing small circles around each nipple, teasing and taunting, never fully taking the dark flesh into his mouth. Xander whimpered, torn between pleasure and pain, the small laps so good, so good, but not enough, not nearly enough. He stilled as he felt Spike tug him yet higher, kissing down his chest, his actions mirroring Xander's own. He shuddered as he felt the cool fingers run along the waistband of his pants, coming to a stop at the top button.

"Please, Xander, please, let me," Spike paused, trying to lean his head back enough to see Xander's face staring down at him. Their gazes locked, then Xander nodded slowly.

"Spike," all the words trying to force their way from his body caught in his throat and he could only say this, only say Spike's name. "Spike," again, voice deep with longing.

Spike nodded up at him, understanding written on his face. He could no longer speak, the fulfillment of all his longing so close, right there in front of him. He moved shaky hands over the fastening to Xander's pants, carefully undoing the button, sliding a hand down the front, hissing again as he felt Xander's erection press into the back of his hand. He eased down the zipper, then began to tug the fabric down Xander's legs, catching the waistband of Xander's boxers as well. He felt Xander kick his shoes off, felt him lean away, the loss of contact washing over him briefly as Xander backed away slightly, yanking the clothes the rest of the way off his body.

Xander turned on his side and closed his eyes, completely exposed, naked before Spike. He wanted to look, wanted to see the expression on Spike's face, but he couldn't, a torrent of vulnerability washing over him. For a single moment he lay there, then he felt Spike's hands on either side of his face.

"Xander, look at me." The quiet words settled into his ear. Gathering up his courage, he opened his eyes, brown meeting blue.

"You're perfect, perfect." Spike leaned down and kissed him gently. "So perfect." The words were pressed into his lips as Spike pushed him onto his back, moving to straddle his hips. "So much better than I imagined." Xander's hands tightened on Spike's waist.

"Your turn," he managed to get out, then reached down and slowly began to return the favor. He knew how much he had ached when trapped in his clothes and it was obvious that Spike was in the same state. Spike panted as Xander's hand brushed against him, then he pulled back with a low growl, yanking the jeans down, cursing as they caught on the boots.

"Fucking things, can never get them off," Xander suppressed a sudden snort of laughter as he heard the words. Spike let out another low growl then finally pitched the boots across the room, the jeans following rapidly after them. All thoughts of laughter stopped as Spike moved back up the bed, moving to hover directly over Xander, holding himself up with his arms on either side of Xander's head, waiting, watching the emotions play on Xander's face. He bit his lip and that was just too much. Xander reached up and pulled him down.

Loud groans escaped them both as they were finally pressed together, limbs tangling as the began to move. The friction of cock on cock rattled through them and they fell into a steady rhythm, grinding together slowly. Mouth sought mouth and they shared breath, panting together, Xander wrapping his arms around Spike's waist as Spike trailed his fingers through Xander's hair. They felt their orgasms rise, felt the tension build, felt it crest over them together, their seed mingling together, coating them both, hoarse shouts of meaningless sound as their completion struck. Spike collapsed down and Xander cradled him to his chest, the slim body rising and falling with each breath. They drifted together, content, the scent curling around them.

Spike suddenly smiled, pulling up slightly to drop a kiss on Xander's forehead. "Better get cleaned up, luv."

"No, don't want to move," Xander pulled Spike back down, holding them together.

"Pet, if we don't we're going to get stuck together," Spike tried to sound firm but his small wiggle of pleasure ruined the effect.

"Sounds good to me," Xander sleepily replied.

"Pet," Spike groaned out, why did he have to be the reasonable one. Didn't suit him. "Pet, have to get up." He forced himself away, moving to stand by the side of the bed. "Nothing says we can't shower together, now does it." He smirked down, seeing a flush wash across Xander's body.

Xander grinned as he rose. "That's damn straight." Xander saw the glint of mischief in Spike's eye and he groaned as he realized what he just said. "Don't say it, whatever it was, just, don't, Spike."

Spike simply laughed as they stumbled over their clothes on the way to the bathroom.

The strong smell of coffee pulled Xander from sleep. He let out a happy sigh. Ah, coffee, wonderful, wonderful coffee. His pleasure deepened as he felt Spike's cool cheek pressed to his chest. He could never remember feeling this happy, this content, this complete. And now, coffee. A fuzzy thought crawled across his consciousness **if Spike's here, then who has coffee** His eyes shot open and he looked up.

"Well, it's about fucking time. No pun intended. Well, okay, pun intended, couldn't help it." Kat grinned at the flustered expression on Xander's face. She really shouldn't do this to him now, especially not before Xander had his coffee, not when he was so adorably hazy with morning after happiness, but she couldn't help it. She handed over a large mug. "Cream and six sugars right," she shook her head ruefully. "Can't believe you profane the bean that way, Xander." She sat on the edge of the bed and watched in amusement as Xander automatically reached for the mug.

"Um, thanks," Xander managed to get out, eyes wide.

Kat just rolled her eyes at him. "For heaven's sake, Xander, stop it. I couldn't be happier if it were me. The two of you were driving me batty. I came very close to just locking you two in a room the other night and telling you not to come out until you finally got it on. And William, I know damn well you're awake, so stop faking it and get up."

Spike lifted his arm out from under the comforter and elegantly flipped her off. "I would have you know that I've never had to fake it in my life, thank you very much." He pulled himself up and took the mug of blood from her hand, the steam gently curling in the air. "You're looking well, Mistress." He cast an appraising glance over her. She did look good, rested and happy. "Shouldn't you be a little more scruffy, Kat. Did get rather plastered last night you know." He tilted the mug back, drinking down the rich taste.

"Well, I would if I hadn't just slept for basically the last day. You two do realize that it's 9:00 at night, not 9:00 in the morning don't you?" She smirked over at them as their jaws dropped open. "Just how many times did you two go at it last night?" She ducked as the pillows came flying her way.

"We were just tired," Xander haughtily replied. "It wasn't that Spike there pinned me to the shower wall and had his wanton way with me."

"Oh no, pet. Not at all. And it wasn't that you decided to 'accidentally' trip me on the way back to the bed and fell on top of me." Spike arched an eyebrow at his lover.

"I'm not the one who went for the fudge sauce."

"Really, well, I'm not the one who insisted on finding a whole new use for the whipped cream, either."

Xander opened his mouth to continue, then stopped, realizing there was no way he was going to win. Not if Spike brought up the maraschino cherry incident.

"Stop it, ow, hurts, ow," Kat doubled over in laughter. She had returned to consciousness to find herself alone and thirsty. She headed out to the kitchen to make some tea only to find them sprawled on the kitchen floor, laughing hysterically as they smeared the remains of an obvious post-shag snack all over one another. The sight of it cheered her instantly, breaking her out of the lingering effects of her grief. It was her one concession to all she had lost. Every year on his birthday she would get drunk and allow herself to remember, to feel both the joy and the pain, the one night that she allowed the memories to run through her. She was still a little shaky, sharing the sights with Xander had taken a lot out of her, primarily in keeping her emotions in check. The instant she took his hands she could feel the depths of his compassion and she knew that allowing him more than a glimpse of her pain could be too much. Let alone letting him feel what Angelus had done. She sat back up, wiping the tears from her eyes, gasping to catch her breath.

"Well, time for you two to get up," she held up a hand as they both opened their mouths. "Don't even start with me. We're going out." She hopped off the bed and sauntered out of the room. "Oh, and Spike, make sure you find something decent for Xander to wear, no offense, Xan, but, seriously, have to work on your fashion sense." She pulled the bedroom door behind her.

"What's that supposed to mean," Xander huffed out as Spike eased out of bed, reaching back for Xander.

"Pet, please, you know full well what that means." Spike pressed a quick kiss to Xander's lips then led them back to the shower. He was still sticky from the combination of whipped cream, saliva and cum that they had been too exhausted to clean up from once they basically crawled back to the bed. "Got just the thing," he whistled happily as he adjusted the water. "Do you like silver or black better," Spike asked, holding up the small bottles. He pulled Xander into the shower with him and settled him under the spray.

Xander just began beating his head into the shower wall. "I'm not painting my nails," he muttered.

"Of course not, luv." Spike soothingly replied as he began shampooing Xander's hair. "I'll be doing that."

Xander just groaned louder.

"Are you sure about this," Xander plucked at the shirt yet again. Where in the world had Spike found this outfit. A tight black silk shirt, sure, he could see Spike with that. But it was in his size. He knew that, he was just enough broader through the shoulders that it couldn't be Spike's. And the black pants. Well, they may be tighter than he usually wore, but, still, they were the right length. There was no mistaking that. He was a good four inches taller than Spike. "Where did you find these?"

"Kat had 'em in the closet. Don't think she would let you out with her without looking like she wants," Spike replied, concentrating on painting Xander's nail. The silver, a nice contrast with the black clothes.

"Ohh," there was something about the reply that bothered Xander. He looked Spike over. Same black jeans, same black t-shirt. Same red shirt. Same black duster draped over the chair. "Why don't you have to change? And how did she know we were going out tonight?"

"Some looks don't need changing, luv. And she always goes out the night after. Should warn you, she's looking to get a nice little piece tonight. And it'll be a boy if I know my Kat. Less fuss and muss that way." Spike lifted one of Xander's hands to his lips and blew across the nails.

Xander shuddered at the feel of the air on his fingers. They hadn't stopped touching all day, as if they were afraid that if they stopped it might all disappear, as if they were afraid that now that they had what they wanted they might wake to find it all gone. "Then why are we going with her," he managed to get out, right before Spike took a finger in his mouth.

"Not like she's going to be leaving with the guy. Quick shag in the john should do it." Spike replied, reluctantly removing Xander's finger from his mouth. If they started that, they would never leave.

Xander just stared at him, mouth open. "Jesus, Spike, isn't that a little," he stopped. Who was he to judge, he'd picked Brian up, fucked him and left without a word the next day.

"Debauched," Spike replied, eyebrow raising. "Kind of the point, mate. She does this every year the day after his birthday, at least every year she's not with someone. Way to burn it from her mind, little meaningless sex to bury the memories. And it's not like anyone can hurt her, so, what's the harm." Spike tugged Xander after him. "Look, she needs this, so, just let's go and enjoy."

"Guys, hurry up, hells, I'm the chick here, remember," Kat's voice came to them as the rounded the corner to the entranceway. Xander's jaw dropped. She was wearing low slung black leather pants, molded to every curve of her body, a matching black leather halter top just barely covering her breasts. Her firm stomach was completely exposed. **Hey, those are Spike's boots** the giddy thought crossed his mind as he looked her over. Her hair was artfully messed and her lips were stained red, blue eyes burning out from under dark lids.

"Oh, that's a nice look, Kat. Why not just carry a sign that says 'fuck me', might be a little more subtle." Spike just shook his head. Whomever she chose wouldn't have a chance.

"Don't feel like being subtle, let's go." They headed out the door, Spike firmly holding Xander's hand.

They leaned against the rail on the balcony of the Bronze. They had finally let go of one another when they reached the club, neither quite ready to deal with the drama if they ran into any of Xander's friends. Instead, they had managed to find a nice crowded corner, compelling them to lean against one another. If, from time to time, their hands brushed or they slouched into one another, why it was completely innocent. Besides, the frustration of being so close and yet so far was a bit intoxicating.

"And I thought you were a predator," Xander sighed out, eyes wide as he watched Kat. She wound through the bar, chatting here and there with some poor guy.

"Yes, I know, frightening isn't it," Spike took another pull from his beer, watching Xander out of the corner of his eye. He wondered if the whelp was moving his hips to the music like that on purpose or if it was unconscious. Either way, he was glad he was wearing the duster. The not so little bulge in pants was easier to cover that way. He twitched the leather slightly, moving it into place. He suddenly felt Xander's hand on his arm.

"Nope. Not fair, if I have to stand here for all the world to see so do you." Xander just stared at Spike until the vampire glanced down. A matching bulge was tenting Xander's pants.

Spike smirked back at him and dropped the duster back. "Right, mate. What's say we go back to leaning on the rail, no need to give everyone a free show." They nodded together then turned back, both clearing their throats slightly as they did so.

"I'm saying the red head over there." Xander gestured with his bottle.

"Nope, the tall, artsy guy in the corner." Spike nodded his head, returning to the game. At least it was a distraction.

"No, too obvious. Did say a guy, right, otherwise I would say the blonde over there," Xander looked down.

"No, it'll be a guy. And no blondes. Not any shade." Spike quietly replied. Xander shot him a quick look then nodded, understanding completely.

"I'm going with the red head, you get art boy. Twenty bucks." He reached out a hand and they shook on it, palms sliding wetly against each other. They stared down, each quietly rooting for their guy. Xander let out a small triumphant cry as they saw her head for the bathrooms about ten minutes later, red head in tow. He spun to face Spike, leaning in to whisper in the vampire's ear.

"Of course, I didn't say he would be any good. I give it fifteen minutes, tops and we're out of here. Better not be any good. Don't know if I can hold out much longer. Think she'll let us make out in the back seat on the way home." Spike shivered as the words fell in his ear.

"I'm quite certain of it, luv. Though there's a lot to be said for waiting. Had quite the chance to plan on what I'm going to do to you once we're alone." He grinned back at Xander, watching those beautiful eyes dilate.

"Spike," Xander groaned out. "That wasn't nice."

Now it was Spike's turn to lean over and whisper. "Don't worry, Xander, I'll make up for it. Promise." He chanced a quick lick of Xander's neck and they both shuddered at the feel.

"Hell, Kat, hate to do this to you, but please, any gods, goddesses, whatever, please let him be a bad fuck," Xander prayed out loud, eyes rolled to heaven.

"Amen to that, luv. Amen to that."

They turned to watch the hall to the bathroom, only their shoulders touching. Any more than that and they would be heading down that hallway themselves.

Part Nine

Xander collapsed face first onto his bed, a sigh of pleasure easing from his lips. He missed his house, missed his bed, his own bed, his own clothes, his own bathroom. No annoying blond using all the hot water, no frustrating creature hogging the blankets, no irritating presence hovering just a few feet away at all times. Xander moaned into his pillow, damn but he missed Spike already. The only reason he had finally come home was to try to get some sleep before work the next day. The adrenaline rush of finally being with Spike was finally burning away and leaving him exhausted and not a little sore. Sore all over. Xander winced a little as he curled onto his side. He thought he was in pretty good shape, pretty great shape, actually, from his job, but he had just spent the last few days twisting and bending in directions he hadn't even known his body could go. Another moan escaped him just thinking about it.

He flopped back onto his bed and tried to resist the urge to call Spike. It was pathetic. He was barely halfway down the driveway, reluctantly leaving the sanctuary of Kat's home before his cell rang.

"Still think you should let me come with you," Spike whined in his ear.

"Spike," Xander tried to keep his voice firm while grinning madly. "The entire point of my going home to sleep is to sleep. Not to simply go to bed. There is a difference you know." He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. No, no he was not going to turn back. Nope, not him. He was stronger than that.

"I would have you know that I am perfectly capable of keeping my mitts off you," Spike snottily replied. "Been doing it for almost two years now, haven't I."

Xander's mouth opened slightly at that. "Spike," he started, then fell quiet. He and Spike hadn't really taken that opportunity to talk, too caught up in the overwhelming sensation of touch to stop to think, to analyze. There was so much left unsaid, so many things Xander wanted to ask, wanted to answer. But he wasn't about to do it without being able to watch Spike's face, without peering into those eyes that, if you knew just how to look, always revealed the truth. Xander slowed, beginning to turn back. "You know you can't say something like that without," his eyes narrowed as he realized what was going on. "Nice try, mate," he threw in a snarl for good measure and was rewarded with Spike's quick laugh, "still not coming back." He turned the wheel and headed back down the road.

"Can't blame a bloke for trying," Spike was completely unrepentant. "Seriously, luv, come back, fetch me and we'll toddle off to your place, I'll just go sleep in my room," a long-suffering sigh, "alone, let you be, maybe just stand in the door, watch a little, maybe just come sit on the edge of the bed when your eyes slowly open when you wake, maybe lean down to kiss just along that soft, soft patch of skin below your ear, maybe nibble ever so slightly on your earlobe," husky words in his ear and Xander shuddered slightly, feeling ghostly lips on his skin. He started, suddenly realizing he had almost reached the turn for the main road without remembering how he got there.

"Spike," moaned out. Xander cleared his throat and tried again. "Spike," that was better, nice and firm, and, better stop that train of thought right there, "I am not having phone sex with you while I'm driving. If we do I'm sure to hit something or someone and I am easily breakable, you do remember that?"

A short pause, then "Sorry, pet." So quiet. So sincere. Xander waited, anticipating the quick barb that was sure to follow. The silence lengthened slightly and Xander realized that Spike meant it.

"It's okay, not adverse to the concept of phone sex, just, not while I have to concentrate on anything else." Xander hoped Spike would pick up the unspoken acknowledgment.

"So, you'll call when you get to the house," the happy voice made Xander grin again.

"No."

"Pet, why not," back to whining now.

"Have to SLEEP, have to work, do you want me falling off a ladder, what if I break something, have to be in a cast, laid up in bed but not in the good way," Xander teased back.

"Not funny, Xander." The words were clear and completely serious. "Don't even say anything like that." Was that a little waver, some hint of fear? Xander nodded, abashed.

"Sorry, not how I meant it. Look, I'll set my alarm an hour early and call you then." He hated waking up early but he had a sneaking suspicion he was going to hate waking up alone even more.

"Deal. Pleasant dreams, luv." Xander smiled at the soft words and snapped the phone shut, tossing it into the backseat, knowing otherwise he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation.

But now he was home and now he could call just for a second, just to hear the sound of Spike's voice, just to check, make sure it was real, wasn't just a dream. Xander groaned even louder and pulled a pillow over his face. No, going to be stronger than that. He sat up and looked at the phone, just looked, nothing wrong with just looking. He stared for long moments then fell back on the bed. No, sleep now, the faster he was asleep the faster he would wake up again. A quick tug and the clock was pulled on top of him. Maybe he would just set it for an hour and a half early. That would still leave him a good six hours of sleep. He closed his eyes, replaying their every touch in his mind, projecting them on the screen behind his eyes. If he couldn't have Spike in his bed, at least he would have him in his dreams.

Xander dashed through the door, stripping off his shirt and kicking off his shoes as soon as he hit the hallway. Work had been both torture and savior. Savior because it gave him something to concentrate on, something to lose himself in as the sunlight slowly faded. Torture because he was away from his lover. He turned the word over again in his mind. "Lover" Said out loud to make it more real. Spike was his lover. He was Spike's lover. Still surreal. Good, no, great, but too perfect to be true. He tossed the mail on the kitchen table and headed for the phone. Just a quick call to tell them that he was going to take a quick shower before heading over. He hit the speed dial and the phone was answered on the first ring.

"Xander, you better be calling to say you're on the way over, I've had it with keeping hyper boy occupied. Hells, I even had to spar with him to keep him sane. Back Spike, no, you can't talk to him. Don't you even reach for the phone. I will bite you, William, don't you think I won't" Xander started laughing when he heard Spike's quick yelp. "Now, get that sexy ass of yours over here. I'll go out and leave you two be for awhile even. Don't know how much more of hearing people besides me having sex I can take."

"Just grabbing a quick shower, there in a flash." He didn't even wait to say goodbye. He glanced out the window. Still bright out, but only for about another forty minutes. If he timed it right, the sun would just be setting when he reached the house and Spike could meet him at the car. He bounced off, eager to be on his way.

He toweled his hair as he pulled on a pair of jeans with his other hand. No sense in wearing boxers, just get in the way. He threw a set of his work clothes into the duffel bag on the bed. While the sleep had done him good, he wasn't about to spend two nights alone. He was going to try to get Spike to come back with him but still wanted to be prepared if he ended up staying over instead. He tossed off another quick prayer of thanks that Kat was going out. Some alone, truly alone time would be very welcome.

Xander set off for the front door, tossing a quick look around to make sure everything was fine and secure before leaving. He saw the counter flashing on his machine and walked over to see how many messages. 15. There were 15 messages. He hit play, knowing they must all be from Spike.

"Xander, hey, where are you, wanted to go out tonight, well, give me a call when you get in," Willow's voice called out. Xander rummaged through the fridge as he listened, grabbing a bottle of water out of the back.

"Xander, just wanted to say hey, you've been pretty scarce," Buffy now. He hit the button for the next message. He wasn't particularly interested in whatever it was she wanted.

"Xander, where are you," Willow again. Tap. On to the next message.

"Xan, seriously," Buffy again. Tap.

"Xander, we, well we are getting a little worried," Giles now. Tap.

"Xan," Tap. "Xander," Tap. "Come on, staring to get," Tap. "Please call," Tap. "I'm worried," Tap. "Where are you?" Tap. "Someone said they saw you at the Bronze, why didn't you say something?" Tap. "Silver nail polish, seriously," Tap.

"Luv, hope you had a good day at work. Now stop listening and get your arse over here." There was what he wanted to hear. "You know I hate you showering without me," Xander closed his eyes as the last message played. He picked up the bag from off the floor and headed for the door.

He jumped back as the pounding started just as his hand turned the knob. He automatically opened the door, unable to stop his hand.

"Buffy, what the hell are you doing," he managed to get out as she suddenly yanked him out the door, practically throwing him into the yard. He stumbled back, taking in the bizarre image of Willow holding a fire extinguisher, Tara a bucket and Giles a blanket.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Xander just stared at them all at a complete loss for words.

Buffy stalked over to him, looking confused. "You're not on fire."

"What, of course I'm not on fire, did someone tell you the house was on fire," Xander turned in a small circle, utterly confused. "Wills, what's going on?"

"What's going on, what's going on is that you've practically disappeared for the last month, ever since that Kat person showed up. We all tried to get in touch with you all weekend and you never called any of us back, you scared the shit out of us, Xander. We thought something happened to you, that Spike did something to you," Buffy was right in his face, forcing him to back across the lawn.

"Buff, calm down, glad to see you care and all, but, overreact much," Xander joked, trying to back away. "I was busy," a quick smile shot across his face. He watched Buffy just grow more furious at that.

"Yeah, well, you've been busy a lot lately. None of us have seen you, you're almost never home, when you do decide to show up you act like you can't wait to get away, so forgive us all to hell for being worried about you," Buffy was relentless, backing him to lean against his truck. "It's all since she arrived. I mean, it's great that Spike finally took off and isn't bugging us anymore, but, Xander, what are you doing, are you spending time with them, what could you be thinking, she's dangerous."

"Not to me she's not," the words came instantly, his anger finally rising. "Okay, fine, I'll admit it, maybe I have been a little distracted lately, but, gods, Buffy, it's not like you or Willow or Giles haven't gotten involved with stuff and left me hanging before. Christ, I've called you all almost every day, it's not like I haven't gone out and done stuff with you." He shoved himself off the truck, furious. "So, it's all right for the almighty Slayer to have a life, but if Xander gets one, then, well it must be that some evil thing happened." He was livid. Who were they to react like this? When they first went off to college without him, he had been the one on the periphery, the one forced to make all contact.

"Xander," Willow's quiet voice drifted over to where he and Buffy were glaring at one another. "We just thought that, well, you are a demon magnet and we thought maybe something happened, we were just concerned is all." She tried her best winning smile.

Xander calmed a little when he saw Willow's face. She did look concerned. "Wills, I'm sorry I worried you. I was just away for the weekend and didn't think to check my messages, sorry, won't happen again. Now, if this little intervention thingy is over I have to get going, I'm running late." He started to walk around the front of the truck when Buffy grabbed him again.

"So, just taking off again. Wow, she's really got you whipped. You aren't even going on patrol, not showing up for meetings. Guess you don't care if the world ends after all. Thought you were more reliable than that Xander, guess we were wrong," Buffy glared at him and he finally snapped.

"Guilt tripping there, Buffy. Here's a hint, it works better if you're subtle. Besides, I don't remember anyone calling me Slayer." Xander stared straight back at her. She had finally gone too far. "Seems as best I can recall you are The Chosen One, the one with the superstrength and all that. I seem to remember just being the one who tagged along. Not even any magical powers like Willow, no Watcher training like Giles. Nope, just poor little mortal me, throwing his precious body out there night after night." His voice rose as the unreality of the situation struck him. "Not my job to keep the world from ending but I did it, over and over and over again. I take a few weeks off to spend time with some new friends and you freak. I seem to recall having to spend months, Buffy, months, cleaning up the mess you left here when you high tailed it out of town, just leaving us all here, Hellmouth be damned." He heard her sharp intake of breath at that and he leaned forward, moving in for the kill. "Besides, who said I haven't been patrolling." Arms crossing, he leaned back, seeing the confusion on all their faces.

"Xander, what, whatever do you mean," Giles quietly asked. Buffy appeared to be struck dumb by Xander's words, looking shocked that he had dared to stand up to her.

"Haven't you noticed that there's been a remarkable decline in the uglies and beasties lately? Didn't really think it was due to you, do you?" Xander felt the cold smile cross his features. "You don't really think Spike could go that long without killing something?" He watched as his words had their desired effect.

"You've been going out with Spike, alone, are you insane?" That startled Buffy out of her trance. "You know he would just leave you there, Xander, do you have some kind of death wish?"

"Slayer, you better watch your mouth." The snarl was serious this time. "Spike would never do anything to harm me. And, not that it's any of your business, we weren't alone. Kat was with us."

Even as he looked down, he could see them, could hear the howling cries. Every night they went out, taking him with them, only one firm rule. He could watch but not help. Not that there was any need to help. He quickly realized that Spike had been holding something back the entire time he was with them, had kept some savage corner hidden. Not now. They didn't patrol, they hunted, that was the only word for it. Just four days before he stood hidden in the trees as they attacked some terrifying demon, some beast at least ten feet tall with horns and pinchers and some kind of venom that shot out of its mouth. They toyed with it, moving in perfect tandem around and around its body. Then a stream of venom had splattered at his feet causing him to yelp and jump back. Their heads turned as one, white and black, yellow eyes and blue with the faintest flicker of red. They stared at him, heads cocking to the side as they scented, breathing for him, he could feel it, could feel them sensing if he was injured. They snapped back as soon as it was obvious he was fine and all games ended. They tore the beast limb from limb, silent the entire time, the only sound the guttural cries of the demon. Kat had finally grown tired of the noise and reached down and yanked out its throat, tossing the flesh aside. They continued long after it was dead, shredding the body with nothing more than their hands, flesh and bone and organs spilling onto the ground until the sound of Xander's retching came to their ears. They were at his side in moments, reaching out with hands still dripping blood. "Xander, pet, luv, sorry, got a little carried away," Spike whispered in his ear, firmly circling his waist, holding him up. "Here, here's some water," Kat's voice murmuring in his other ear as she dug in the backpack that she had left with him. Xander gratefully took it and rinsed out his mouth, more than a little embarrassed. "It's fine, Xander, let's go back, didn't stop to think," Kat's soothing voice as they headed back for the Rover, Spike still supporting his weight. All this shot before him as he stared down at Buffy.

"You really should be thanking them, you wouldn't believe some of the things I've seen. So, really, you'll excuse me all to hell if I ignore your pathetic attempts at manipulation. I've been watching the masters at work. You should see the two of them try to get the other to do something." Xander felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and shot a quick glance at the sky. If this wasn't over soon, then Spike would be showing up here and that would not go well. "I have to go. I'm expected somewhere."

Buffy grabbed his arm again as he tried to get past her. "Xander, you have no idea what you're doing. You don't know what's going on, she's dangerous. Xander, we've done some checking and you have no idea some of the things she's done. Angel called,"

Xander went white at the sound of the vampire's name. "Buffy, shut the fuck up."

"No, you have to hear this, you're acting possessed or something, seriously, Xander, Angel called and said that she's dangerous, told Giles she was after him for something, vowed revenge," Buffy prattled on, ignoring the dangerous gleam in Xander's eye.

"Buffy, I said shut the fuck up." The words were hissed out in an attempt not to scream. His neighbors were already watching the odd scene and he knew it wouldn't take much more for the police to be called. "Don't you ever say that motherfucker's name to me again, don't you dare. And you better hope I don't see him any time soon or he'll be dust." Buffy took an involuntary step back at that and Xander dodged around her, leaping into the truck. "Willow, I'll call you tomorrow I promise. Now, get off my lawn." He peeled down the street, concentrating fiercely on driving. He felt his phone vibrating again and he pulled over, hands shaking too badly to talk and drive at the same time. He kept a wary eye on the rearview mirror, watching to see if he was followed.

"Xander, luv, where are you, supposed to be here, what did you get lost" he heard the worry underneath the mocking.

"Had a run in with the Slayer and her gang," he started, then choked up. His friends, they were supposed to be his friends.

"Where are you, coming to get you, did they do anything," the growling came through clearly.

"No, don't, just make it worse, on my way there, fuck," he swore, seeing lights come around the corner. "I've got to go, don't want them following, there soon, don't worry." He hung up and pulled back out. He let out a sigh. It wasn't them. He sped down the street, focusing only on getting there in one piece.

He pulled to as stop as he saw the slim figures standing in the middle of the driveway, the headlights picking out the pale features. Spike was staring down the road, obviously waiting for him and Kat looked for all the world like she was standing guard. Xander slammed on the brakes and Spike was at the door immediately.

"Luv, you fine, did they hurt you." Hands roamed over his entire body, shaking slightly.

"No, just, got in a huge fight, they showed up at the house, they left a bunch of messages I didn't return and they freaked out. Thought you turned me." He had finally figured that out on the drive over. "Tried to make me feel bad that I wasn't patrolling with them, tried to tell me you would hurt me." The growling rolled over him and he realized it was coming from both Spike and Kat.

"Fucking idiots, never hurt you," Spike pulled Xander closer. "You know that, Xander, I would never hurt you."

"Of course, known for awhile," Xander muttered into Spike's shoulder. "Can we just go inside now."

"Of course, pet. Mistress, you coming inside?" Spike's eyes met hers over Xander's shoulder.

"No, you go. I'm going to stay out tonight." Kat stared straight back. They were close, she could feel them. A faint smile crossed her face. Like anyone could find the house if she didn't want them to. Still, never know what might come crawling out of the woodwork. If Xander had been alone, well, he would have been attacked long before now, his agony was ringing through her bones and she knew that every supernatural being within a few miles would be gunning to take it as their own. "You just go to back to the house. Be sure to lock the door." Spike nodded as he bundled Xander into the truck.

Kat stood there, breathing slowly, letting them surround her. They were growing bolder and bolder as the night wore on. She had moved ever closer to the house, drawing them with her, wanting to take them in a group. She needed the release, needed to do something, anything to keep from going after Xander's friends, from destroying them for causing a moment's pain to that which was precious to her. She felt the circle close as she stepped into the faint pool of light coming from the windows banking the front of the house. She felt the first of the vampires move towards her and she dropped to her knees, throwing her arms wide. The light blazed out from her, rippling in the dark air, destroying everything in its path, the crack heard for miles away. The air filled with clouds of dust, coating her in ash.

"What was that," Xander sat straight up in bed, heart pounding. He felt something rip through him, an overwhelming surge of grief and rage.

"Nothing you need worry about," Spike pulled Xander back down. "Shh, quiet, sleep." He gently stroked Xander's hair, trying to slow the pounding of Xander's heart. "Sleep now," he commanded as Xander's eyes closed. He cradled the human in his arms, curling his body protectively around the golden flesh.

Two months later

"Damn it," Xander hollered, tossing the tie at the mirror for the twentieth time. "Why can't I just wear a clip on."

"Want me to do it," Spike gently asked, leaning in the door of the bathroom. Xander automatically looked in the mirror, still a little disconcerted that he couldn't see his lover behind him. He turned around, holding the tie in his hand, "Please, how do you do it if you can't see," His breath caught in his throat. Spike lounged in the door, clad in a perfectly fitted tuxedo, looking like he had been born to wear the clothes. Xander just stared, the fabric slipping from his fingers. A slow smile crossed Spike's face and he just stared back.

"Spike, whoa, you look," Xander cleared his throat, "You look amazing."

Spike bent down to pick up the tie and Xander shuddered watching the muscles play under the rich fabric. "Not looking too shabby yourself, mate. How did we ever get talked into this?" Spike looped the tie around Xander's neck and then began expertly tying it into a bow.

"Don't know. Didn't want to piss her off," Xander whispered, watching the look of concentration on Spike's face.

"Mmmm, always a good reason, that. There, perfect." The word was said reverently as Spike reached a hand and ran a thumb along Xander's cheek, "Absolutely bloody amazing." He leaned up for a quick kiss and Xander's arms automatically came around his waist. They leaned into each other, passion thrumming through them.

"Stop it," a hand whapped the back of Spike's head, clanking their teeth together.

"Oww," they bellowed out as Kat stomped into the room.

"We have to leave in the next five minutes to make it in time. Are you two ready yet, Christ, you've been in here all day." She rolled her eyes at them. If they started this up they would never leave.

"Yes, mommy," they called out, sticking their tongues out at her. She just sighed.

"Can someone hook this damn thing," she turned her back, holding the necklace to her throat and Spike reluctantly peeled away from Xander to gently work the clasp. "So, what do you think," she asked as she twirled around.

Low whistles greeted her. It wasn't what she was wearing that was remarkable, it was a simple low cut black dress, floor length, slit nearly to the waist. It was the necklace. Drops of rubies cascaded down her neck, curling from the top of her spine to dip between her breasts, balanced on the thinnest of platinum wire. It looked like drops of blood trickling down her skin. Matching bands wound up her arms and small drops hung from her ears.

"I'll take it that you like. Let's go. Limo's waiting. And, remember our deal." The deal was simple. If they could get to the museum with a minimum of groping, if they could act civilized at the gala, if they only disappeared once for about twenty minutes, then she wouldn't strap them to the beds. To the separate beds. In separate rooms. Where they couldn't see each other. For the entire weekend.

"Yes, mommy," once again as she herded them out the door. Xander grabbed Spike's hand, sighing contentedly. A whole weekend away. Away in L.A. He grinned as he chanted the words in his head. Away in L.A. Away in L.A. A whole weekend away. In L.A. In Beverly Hills. Going to a gala. With Spike. With Spike in a TUXEDO. Oh yeah, all was definitely well in Xanderland.

The limo finally pulled to a stop in front of the museum and Xander and Spike got out, then reached back to help Kat exit. They stopped, looking out at the banners strung just inside the entranceway.

The Traxler Collection

It had taken all of Kat's considerable diplomatic skills to ensure that merely that simple title graced her donation. No flowery words, nothing else, just that. An eternal monument to Cassandra. After all the Getty would never hang Cassie's work, couldn't by terms of the bequest, nothing after 1900. So, instead, she had ruthlessly pared through her collection, choosing those works that Cassie admired most and those that reminded her most of her love. It gave her something to do during the long nights when Cassie was in hospital. The arrangements for the donation had been made from the plane on her trip over. Cassie had always complained that such beauty should not be kept just for them. Now, now Cassie's favorites would be seen by all.

Xander drank it all in, soaking up every image he could see. He couldn't believe he was here, couldn't believe the pride in Kat's voice as she introduced him. "Oh, Xander, this is," whoever, some rich, famous, prominent person. "This is Xander." As if they should know who he was, as if they should assume that he, too, was rich and important, educated and erudite. Spike simply watched him, an amused arch to his eyebrow as Xander wandered off, drawn to the magic on the walls. Xander looked up suddenly, finally noticing where he had stopped. He stepped forward, enraptured.

"Corregio," worship in his voice.

"Ah, another fancier," a voice at his elbow and he turned to the voice. "Oh, yes, just, well, see how the interplay of light and shadow, there," he gestured carefully with the flute in his hand, "creates the effect that the sky is actually glowing. I know most people prefer Titian or Rubens, but, this, this is so spectacular, I mean, you can see the very earliest seeds of Impressionism."

Spike watched him from across the room, clearly hearing the low voice, picking it out from the crowd. He has so beautiful like this, all his potential laid out bare. He wondered if Xander even realized that he was talking to one of the world's foremost Renaissance art historians, was arguing influences and interpretations and easily holding his own. Come hell or high water he was getting him to attend university, to feed that hungry mind. If he had his way they were going to Italy for a few months first, take the tour, see the works in person.

"Lovely, isn't he," Kat took Spike's hand, watching him watch his lover. Spike just squeezed a reply. "Have to go do my little speech thing, try not to sneak off to a corner to make out." She let go and headed to the small podium. Spike sauntered over to Xander, placing a proprietary hand on his shoulder.

"She's going to be speaking soon, pet." Spike didn't move any closer, but the possessive tone in his voice got his message through loud and clear. His lips quirked again. He truly doubted that Xander even realized that he was being cruised. They moved across the room, wanting to be able to see her as she spoke.

"I still don't see why I have to go to this," Angel growled out, handing the keys to the valet. He hated getting all dressed up, didn't understand why they had to be here. Sure, he loved art as much as the next person, but, still, this was a bit much.

"Because I said so. Because somehow we got invited. Because I have a new dress. Because it's good for business. Because I can meet a higher class of people. Because it's good for you." Cordelia brusquely informed him as they moved into the entranceway. "Just be glad that I made sure we would show up after the speeches." She smoothed her hands down the skirt of her dress. Like she was going to give up a chance to hobnob with some of the richest people on the West Coast. This gala was going to be one of the social events of the year and she blessed whatever miracle led to Angel's invitation. "Shut up, look pretty, don't kill anyone and don't embarrass me." Cordelia pasted her best beauty queen smile on her face and promptly left him on his own as she scouted out the room.

Angel sighed wearily. He knew of all her instructions it was the last that was the most important to her. He moved slowly around the room, gazing up at the paintings. They were spectacular, he grudgingly had to admit. Particularly that Rubens, now, why did it look so familiar. His brow crinkled in thought as he tried to place the memory. This, this he had seen before. Not in a museum though, hanging on someone's wall. The memory dodged and twisted in his mind and he took another step closer.

He felt a touch on his arm and he turned slightly, feeling a cool glass being pressed into his hand. He finally tore his eyes of the painting to see who wanted him, assuming it was Cordelia.

"Cordy, what do you want?" Only vampire reflexes allowed him to catch the glass before it hit the floor as it slipped from his nerveless fingers.

"Why, hello, Angelus, long time no see." The voice of his destruction rang in his ears.

Katarina just smiled up at him, bathing in the terror on his face.

Part Ten

His lips had gone white. Katarina took a small sip from the flute in her hand, vaguely registering that for once they had used good champagne. His lips were white, he was about to crush the glass in his hand and his eyes were darting around, desperately seeking some place, any place he could flee. She smiled coldly and took another small step forward, trapping Angel against the wall.

"Mistress," the word fell from cold lips as he stared down. He wanted to run, to flee, to be anywhere but trapped here, unable to look away now that she had captured his gaze.

"You're looking well, Angelus," she purred out, a small hand caressing down the lapels of his jacket. "I should have known that Xander's beauty queen would make sure you were properly turned out. Always could fill out a jacket just right." The gentle caresses continued, and anyone looking over would assume that she was flirting with him.

His mind reeled as her words penetrated his mind. "Xander, how do you know," he never got to finish the sentence. She simply took a step back and tilted her head behind her.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" She stared into his face and watched as his eyes moved from hers to stare over her shoulder.

Xander and Spike were twined together in a corner, just leaning into each other, arms wrapped around the other's waist, heads leaning on each other's shoulder. It looked almost as if they were dancing to music only they could hear. They were a stunning sight, framed between a Caravaggio and a Fragonard, looking as if they had been placed there to bring the beauty on the walls into reality. Even in his panic he couldn't help but feel the erotic shock of it. His childe wrapped around the golden boy Angel had longed for but known he could never have.

"Spike and Xander," sighed out. He wrenched his head back down to stare at her once again. "If he turns Xander," he couldn't stop, couldn't believe that he was daring to threaten her. He tried to take a step back as the flames flared in her eyes but was stopped by the wall at his back.

"You threaten me. Angelus, surely you have learned the futility of such an action by now." Her voice was pitched quiet and low, the steel of her words cloaked in a veneer of civility. "Not that it is any of your concern, but, no, William has not turned him. He will not turn him. He would never turn him."

"The chip," Angel nodded briefly. "What happens when you remove the chip?"

Low laughter reached his ears and he relaxed ever so slightly. Whatever her game was, she hadn't just staked him on sight and he was beginning to suspect that she was not going to do so. It was much too public a place for that.

"Do you think the chip matters? You know Spike's capacity for pain, you are the one who gave him that after all." She paused for another small sip of champagne. "No, Spike loves him, would never hurt him, even if it means losing him. Surely you remember that feeling, loving a human so much that you would rather walk into the sun then harm them?"

Angel slowly lowered his head back down, trapped by the sound of her voice and the weight of his memories.

"Oh, Angel," she emphasized his name, reminding him who and what he now was. "I've met your little Slayer. Can see why you would like her, the darkness dancing there along with the light. And not terribly unattractive. I think she is much too bony but you always did like that didn't you, liked to feel that you could crush your lover if you so desired. Personally, I wouldn't fuck her to save the world."

He felt her hand reach up to caress his cheek. "So, Angel, always wanted to ask you, just exactly when did you feel your soul leave? Was it when you first kissed her, first felt her open those virgin thighs under your hand? Were you gentle and kind or rough and firm? Did you prepare her, stretch with your fingers first or did you just plunge in? Could you taste the fear on her skin? You know, no matter how much she wanted it, no matter how wet you made her, she had to know that it would hurt. Was that the moment of perfect happiness, licking her love and fear off her skin?" He couldn't stop, couldn't turn, her hand had him pinned there, tiny crackles of blue flame under her fingers, tracing down his face.

"No, no that wasn't it, was it?" Her voice dropped down, a silky seductive purr. "No, I know just when it was. It was when you pressed into her, the heat burning you, tearing through you, reminding you what is was like to walk in the sun. And then, then as you pressed through that barrier, as you felt the blood drip down your cock, when you knew that you had marked her more truly than any bite ever could, that was it, that was when you were perfectly happy. Not because you felt her love, because you felt her surrender, because you, you of the Order of Aurelius, the mortal enemy of all Slayers, you, the childe of Darla who was the childe of the Master, you, the Scourge of Europe, you had taken her virginity, your seed, vampire seed was the first to fill her womb. That was what made you perfectly happy, the love and surrender mingled as one." A single finger moved to trace the shape of his lips. "And then, then, when you were returned to yourself, when you were Angelus once more, then you continued to thrust into her, continued to take her, continued to murmur endearments and love into her ear, continued to feel the Slayer's heat, knowing that she would stake you if she knew, knowing that this, this was the ultimate betrayal. I bet it was the best orgasm of your existence, the strongest, the most true, the one you curse yourself for remembering now that you are reduced to memory, reduced to only bringing yourself relief." He shuddered as she stepped back, releasing his flesh from her touch.

"But I didn't send you the invitation in order to take a stroll down memory lane." Her voice was pleasant now, as if they were discussing the stock market or the weather. "I sent you the invitation so that I might give you a warning. I have returned to Sunnydale to stay. My childe needs me here, so I will remain." She felt their presence as Spike and Xander moved to flank her, Spike to her right and Xander to her left. She quirked an eyebrow at the expression on Angel's face. "Yes, William is my childe now." She reached down, took Spike's hand and raised it to her mouth. A strong pull of his index finger across her teeth and the blood welled out, coating her lips. She reached up, swiped a finger along the blood then smeared it on Angel's lips. "That's right, taste him. Know the truth, he is mine, he is no longer yours. He was never truly yours."

Angel's tongue unconsciously came out, licking off the trace of blood. His eyes closed and his head dropped as he tasted the truth. His essence was no longer in Spike's blood, he no longer flowed through Spike's veins. The brand of ownership he had thrust into Spike's body was gone. Instead, Spike was free, he tasted only of himself, only of freedom and passion and purity, the purity that Angelus had never been able to drive from him.

"Listen well, Angelus. I am returned to stay. William has taken Alexander as his own. If he is my childe's, then he is mine, under my protection. Whatever partial truth it was that you told the Watcher that made them think I was a danger to Alexander has already led them to cause him pain. This will never happen again. Should they do anything to harm him, anything at all, any pain of any kind, then they will face my wrath." She stepped forward once again. "The only reason that I have not yet avenged my childe for the way the treated him is that it will cause Alexander pain. I will not allow that to occur. Mark my words. I will not hesitate for a moment to declare war. Remember, all that was yours shall be mine." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Pleasant dreams, Angel. Hope your memories don't haunt you." She turned her back and walked away, head held high, smiling as she greeted someone she knew.

Spike immediately turned and grasped Xander's wrists, needing all his strength to retrain the furious human. "No, Xander, no, you can't do this, not here, if she wanted him to be dust, she would do it herself, it's hers to do," Spike muttered, trying to calm his lover.

"Deadboy. Knew I should have staked you a long time ago." Xander stared straight into Angel's eyes, no longer slouching, no longer feeling inferior to the vampire. "It's a good thing that Spike is with me. If we were alone, you would be dust by now. You disgust me. I know what you did, I know what you are. I know her revenge. I think she is being merciful. If I had my way, I would make it last forever. Hells, I'm tempted to ask her to remove Spike's chip and let him turn me just so that I could torture you forever." He managed to suddenly twist free and he instantly moved closer. Angel felt the tip of a spike press into his chest. "Yes, you're quite lucky that my lover doesn't want you dead. Not that I understand why, I should dust you just for what you've done to him. But maybe it is better this way, let you live with what you've done." Xander stepped back, then leaned down and kissed Spike, gentle and slow. He looked back up, capturing Angel's gaze. "You have no idea what you've lost, do you? Well, just so you know, Katarina isn't the only one with a warning. If you do anything to harm her, then I will tell them all what you've done." A vicious grin crossed Xander's face. "Spike and Kat might not let me kill you but I'm sure that Buffy would stake you in a second. Good night Angelus, I too hope you have pleasant dreams. Let's go, Spike. I can't stand to look at this filth anymore." Spike nodded once and they turned, stalking after Katarina, moving in tandem, their strides evenly matched.

Angel collapsed against the wall, a shaky hand running across his face. The truth of her words rang in his ears. She was right, right about everything. The weight of his memories crashed into him and he stumbled out the door and into the night, all the pain he had locked away burning into him once more.

Spike trailed behind her as she walked slowly into her room. They had remained at the gala for another hour or so after Angel had fled, the only evidence that anything was wrong was the slight shaking of her hands. He was concerned, deeply concerned. He found it impossible to believe that she could be dealing with seeing Angelus again so easily.

"Spike, can you unhook this," the quiet words shook him out of his reverie and he nodded, moving over to undo the necklace. His fingers brushed the back of her neck as she held her hair off her neck and he glanced up, eyes going wide. The banding on her neck was burning red, hot to the touch. He felt her begin to shake, saw the lights in the room begin to flicker, felt the faint tremor run through the building.

"Mistress," his hands went to her shoulders as he felt her tense, trying to retain control. Her head slowly bowed and he could smell the tears as they began to run down her face, smoking slightly as they hit the ground.

"Spike. Get Xander. We're going to the beach." Her voice trembled and her hands clenched but she held onto her control by the slimmest of margins.

"Of course," he dropped a quick kiss to her shoulder then went to collect Xander. He found Xander lying flat on his back on the bed, his tie pulled off and dangling in his hand. Other than that, he was still fully clothed. Spike reached down a hand and stroked it down his arm.

"Luv, get changed. We're going to the beach with Kat." He turned and grabbed his clothes out of the wardrobe and paced for the bathroom, not wanting to be distracted by the vision of Xander undressing, knowing that they needed to get her out of here as soon as possible, knowing that she was slowly going mad. He changed quickly and returned to their room, seeing that Xander was changed as well. They headed back to Kat's room, silent, neither wanting to be the first to speak, afraid of what would be said, of whether speaking would only release rage neither could control. They entered her room and came to a dead stop.

She was leaning over the bed, clad in black leggings and a huge black sweatshirt. She had washed her face and the normal paleness of her skin was even more a shock compared to the perfect presentation she had presented just moments before. That, however, was not what caused them to pause. It was the case on the bed that scared them both. She was leaning over a small gun case, the light of the bedside lamp faintly outlining the matte black of the gun. She lifted it out of the case, checking to see that the barrel was clear, then sliding in a clip with a quiet click. She turned and handed the gun to Spike.

"No." Spike's voice shook. "No, Mistress, please don't ask me to do this," he was pleading, his eyes going dark.

"Yes. I need this. Please, Spike," Kat just stared back. "Spike, you have to do this, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on," another slight tremor ran through the building, knocking the pictures from the wall. "We'll go to the bungalow. No one will be there, it will be safe. There's water right there, you'll be fine, please, Spike. Please." A sob escaped at that and she looked Spike dead in the eye, agony written on her face.

Spike just nodded and her shoulders slumped as she exhaled. She grabbed a small bag and they went out the door, confusion clear on Xander's face. He remained silent as they made their way down to the lobby, as the valet brought around the Rover, as Spike took the keys and began to drive. He remained silent as they drove, the only words exchanged were Kat's quiet directions. They finally pulled down a dusty road, bumping down the ruts. It was obvious that no one had been this way in a long, long time. They stopped at a rusty gate, Kat climbing down and pulling a key from her pocket. The lock gave way with a rusty groan and she pulled the gate open, letting Spike pull forward, then closing the gate once again. She jumped back in and they continued over a low rise, finally coming to a stop before a small cottage. They got out, Kat unlocking the doors, moving straight to the kitchen and turning on the taps. A gurgle and a sputter and the water began to flow. She grabbed a large pot from under the sink and set it to fill, adjusting the taps so the water was warm. She moved through the small living room and into the bathroom, Spike and Xander trailing behind. She turned on the taps in the shower, watching the water come out. When she was satisfied that the water was flowing freely, she returned to the kitchen. The pot was nearly full and she turned the water off.

"Xander, can you carry that, please?" The words broke through the silence and Xander quickly lifted the pot from the sink, surprised at just how heavy it was. They made their way out the back door, Kat dropped the bag on the patio and then they headed down the sand to stand by the ocean. The waves crashed high here and she came to a stop just above the tidal mark.

"Xander, please put that down. Thank you." She moved over and took his hands. "Xander, do you remember when I said that nothing could destroy me?" Xander just nodded. He wasn't sure just what was happening, but he was afraid. He could feel something in the air, something desperate, something dangerous, something barely under control. "Xander, this is important. I know you won't understand, but Spike is about to give me a gift, something precious that I cannot give myself. But it's very dangerous for him. You'll have about five seconds to either dump that water over him or toss him in the ocean. You have to get all my blood off him immediately or it will burn him very badly. Can you do that for me?" His eyes grew wide but he just nodded. "Good. Now, remember, I'm asking him to do this. It will be fine. I'll be back, it might take a little while but I will be back." She smiled wanly at him. "I know you'll take care of my childe." She stepped away and turned back to Spike.

"Mistress, please, there has to be some other way," he begged. The gun was heavy in his hand as it rested along his leg.

"No, there's not. William, thank you. I'll do my best to protect you." She placed her hands on his chest and a faint glow surrounded him. She turned her back to him and took another step towards the ocean. Spike moved to stand directly behind her, eyes shadowed. "Xander, you might want to step back. Those are hollow points and this is going to get a bit messy." Xander quickly complied, understanding finally dawning on his face.

Katarina turned her face to the sky, silent for a moment. She let out a sigh then stared straight ahead as she began to speak. "I want peace. I want quiet. I want the constant ache to be gone, just for a moment." Her voice grew louder as her hands began to quiver. "I want to feel his touch on my skin. I want to hear his voice in my ear. I want to see the look in his eye as he tells me he loves me." Her hands clenched into fists as she began to scream. "I want to kiss him just one last time. I want him back with me." The scream was drowned by the crack of the pistol as Spike raised his arm, placed the muzzle against the back of her skull and pulled the trigger. Xander jumped back as her head exploded, a mist of blood and skull and brain bursting into the night air. Her body crumpled to the ground, blood streaming from what was left of her face.

Xander was shocked into inaction for just a second, then heard the animal scream come from Spike. He registered that Spike was coated in her blood as he grabbed the pot, dumping it over Spike's head. The screaming continued and Xander realized that the water wasn't enough as he saw the smoke rising from Spike's body. He grabbed the vampire and threw him into the ocean, flinching as he heard the shrieking reach a higher pitch, aching as it suddenly struck him how much the salt must hurt the burns. He pulled Spike out of the water and cradled him in his arms, running his hands along Spike's face.

"Spike, can you talk, you okay," Xander couldn't look over, couldn't bear to see the crumpled body, couldn't watch the stain of red spread on the sand. He scooted them over, keeping his body between Spike and the blood that continued to pour from her body.

"Will be," Spike hissed from clenched teeth. He slowly pushed his way up until he was sitting on the sand. Burns trailed down the side of his face and along his hands, but they didn't look that bad and they were already beginning to heal. "Thanks, mate."

Xander nodded, not taking his eyes from Spike's face. "What the fuck was that?"

Spike glanced over. Her body was motionless, her head basically gone. "She needed to die for a little while. Only way she can get away."

"I thought she couldn't die," Xander stared into his eyes, still refusing to look over.

Spike stared at him. He thought that Xander would be more frantic, that Xander would think, hells, he didn't know what he thought Xander would think. He just never thought that Xander would take this so calmly. "She doesn't really die. She'll, she'll be back soon," Spike tried to turn, tried to reach out a hand for her. "She'll be right back."

Xander yanked Spike's hand away. Blood coated her from shoulders to feet. "No, Spike, don't." He took Spike's hands in his own and he turned to face her body, forcing himself to look. His stomach turned, but he managed to fight the bile back. "How, how long?"

"Usually just a few minutes," Spike stared at the body, trying to will her to move.

"Does she do this often?" Xander clutched Spike's hands, trying to remain brave.

"No, only when she thinks that she might lose control. Be bad if she did, you felt those tremors, right. Well, think what would happen if she ever let go." Spike leaned closer, the scent of her blood moving through him. "Please, Kat, come back. Please."

They sat and waited, the minutes ticking by. Five. Ten. Fifteen. Spike began to shake. "She's never been gone this long. What if, what if she doesn't come back?" He reached out again, desperate to touch her. "Mistress, don't leave me." His hands fluttered hopelessly, unable to touch, unable to bring her back to him.

Xander moved to sit between Spike and Kat's body. "Spike, Spike, give me your hand." Spike automatically did so and Xander gripped it tightly. He reached over and lifted up Kat's left hand, feeling the coldness of death in both his palms. He closed his eyes, trying to let Spike's strength run through him and into her. He gasped as he suddenly felt himself fall down a hole in his mind.

Faster and faster he fell, the emotions wrenching through him. It was as if he was running through endless corridors, doors open on either side, allowing him tantalizing glimpses of memory. He could hear Spike calling in his mind, could feel Kat running just ahead of them.

"Mistress, Mistress, wait," Spike's voice sounded out, the call echoing down the halls.

Katarina just kept running, turning her head slightly to answer. "Can't. Have to find him, I'll be back, I promise, you know I won't leave you." The words stretched out as Xander turned a corner, chasing after them both. He stumbled a little, tripping over his feet. He lurched into one of the rooms and suddenly the memory wrenched into him.

Katarina held a stake to Angelus's chest. Spike lay on the ground at her feet, naked, blood pouring from the whip marks cut into his back, the flesh flayed open to the bone, the white of his spine clearly showing.

"If you ever take him against his will again, you will answer to me." Her eyes glittered in the dark.

Angelus growled at those words. "You gave him to me, made me his Sire. I can take him if I please." He yelped as the tip of the spike began to press into his flesh.

"No. You may not. You may be his Sire by gift but you are not by right. Should I ever see a mark on him that he did not wish you to place there, should he ever tell me that you harmed him like this again, your life is forfeit." She reached a hand down and suddenly Spike sat up, his skin once again whole. She turned and left the room.

Xander pushed himself off the floor of the room, listening for her footsteps. He could feel Spike running ahead of him, could feel Kat just out of Spike's reach. He had to catch them, had to draw her out of this place, wherever this was. He staggered back into the hallway, trying to clear his mind. He stood still, then listened closely. The hallway branched left and right and he paused, confused. The echoes made it nearly impossible for him to tell which way she had gone. He turned right, when in doubt, remembering the secret of the minotaur's maze, right, always turn right. He ran down the hallway, desperate to find her. The hallway abruptly ended and he crashed through yet another door.

Spike stood leaning against the wall of a house, hand slowly rising up and down, shaking as he smoked. Xander could feel Dru inside the house, feel her fucking someone, something else. He watched as Kat suddenly emerged from the fog. Spike just smiled grimly as she approached.

"Took you bloody well long enough, thought you were never going to come for us. Well, Dru's in there with a Pkatha demon, do me a favor, luv, wait until they're done. Want to kill him before you stake us." The bitterness cut to Xander's bones and he wanted nothing more than to take Spike into his arms and soothe away the hurt.

Kat just shook her head. "Come with me. I'm not going to stake you." Spike pushed off the wall and followed her. Suddenly, the scene shifted and they were inside a large bedroom, sitting on a couch in front of a fire.

"Please, Mistress, stake me now. Deserve it, you know. Part of his family, you have every right to take revenge." Spike's resigned voice was cold. "Can't stand it any longer, lost everything. Dru doesn't want me, she just wants her Daddy, she couldn't understand how things were. Then we met him in China and she saw what he was and she blames me, blames me for telling you. Thinks you wouldn't have found him without me. Found her revenge. Won't leave me, just keeps running off and making me follow her." Spike turned to face her, desperation on his face. "Please, just stake me, can't stand it, can't take being alone."

Kat just took his hand, stroking the pale fingers. "I know. I know what it's like to be truly alone." They sat there for a moment, quiet, until Spike abruptly whirled to face her.

"Make me yours." The words rang out.

"What?" Kat replied, pulling away.

"Make me yours. Mistress, you have always treated me more like family than they ever did. You are the only one who has ever shown care for me. Make me yours." Spike dropped to his knees, begging, beyond any shame.

"William," Kat's voice shook as she stroked his hair. "William, are you sure? You know that once this is done there can be no going back, that you will be eternally mine, that you will live only at my will, that you must do whatever I ask, that you will be mine to command."

Spike simply nodded, his head buried in her lap. "I know."

Her fingers clenched harder in his hair. "You would stake Dru for me."

"Yes, Mistress," Spike replied meekly.

"You would drink from rats for me," Kat continued, her voice vicious and cold.

"Yes, Mistress," Spike answered, pulling back and dropping his eyes to the floor.

"You would walk in the sun for me, you would drink holy water for me," the questions were relentless.

"Yes, Mistress," Spike shuddered at the words, but truth rang in his voice.

She reached down and tilted his head back with one finger under his chin. "You know I would never ask you to do those things," she gently asked, dropping a quick kiss on his forehead. "Are you sure?" Spike just nodded and a smile lit her face. "Then come with me," she stood pulling him behind her. "I want you to be mine as well. I have wanted that for a long time."

Xander shuddered, feeling the sensations running through him. Spike cradled her hands in his face, their bodies moving as one, eyes open and locked on one another. He thrust down, she pushed up, the rhythm sure and strong. They surged together, her mouth locked on his throat, her hand pressed over his left eye. He felt his climax hit, felt her bite down, felt his throat part under her touch, felt his blood pour into her mouth. She spasmed around him and he bent down, licking his taste from her mouth.

"Flesh of my flesh," the strong words echoed in the room.

"Blood of my blood," he replied, collapsing on top of her, feeling the scar burn into his flesh.

Xander could feel everything Spike felt, could feel as a part of Spike became a part of her, could feel the unity, the completion, the bond that could never be broken, deeper than blood, more pure than anything he had ever imagined. Longing tore into him. He wanted that union, wanted to feel what Spike felt, wanted to be part of her as she was part of Spike, wanted to be part of Spike, wanted them both inside his mind. He stayed still for long moments, simply watching this vision.

He was yanked away when he heard Spike's desperate cry echo down the hall. "Katarina, no, where are you, come back." Xander turned and dashed down the hall, running at full speed, terror ripping through him. Spike was scared. Spike was never scared. He ran faster, trying to catch up to the faint figures appearing before him. He could just make out the glimmer of Spike's hair. But the faster he ran, the further away they grew. He let out a scream of despair, stopping dead in his tracks. He would never find them, could never find them, they would be lost here forever, chasing around and around, trying to find their way back home. He dropped to his knees, tears running down his face. Alone, he was going to be left truly alone. He had thought he was alone before, thought that no one understood him. But now, now he had experienced a taste of what could be, had been given a glimpse into what it was like to truly be loved, truly be accepted. And he was going to lose it forever.

"Alexander, shh, don't worry, it's not like that, come with me, come see what William has given me," her voice caressed its way into his mind. Gentle fingers wiped away his tears and he looked up to see her crouched next to him.

"Mistress," he gasped out. He clutched at her hand. "Come back with me. Spike's so worried, I'm so worried, come back with me." He refused to let go of her touch as she lifted him to his feet.

"We'll go back together, just, please come and see." As always, her voice stilled him. He let her lead him through the halls until they came to one final door. She dropped Xander's hand and turned to face him.

"You have to stay here, but you can watch. Just don't try to enter. Promise me that." Xander nodded as she opened the door.

Katarina stepped forward and was instantly engulfed in soft light. Xander squinted, just able to make out a faint figure moving towards her.

"Thomas," he breathed out. He watched as Katarina approached the dim figure. A hand reached out and caressed down her cheek and she turned into the touch.

"Kat, oh, I miss you so much," the words rang out and Xander watched, mouth dry as the hand moved to trail across her lips.

"So do I," she reached up to take the ghostly hand in hers. "I love you."

"I love you too," the words echoed faintly as the room began to shimmer, the figure melting into the light. "Always."

Xander sucked in a huge breath as his eyes shot open, feeling Kat beginning to stir next to him. Disoriented, he saw the sand and the ocean, felt the fierce breeze and sand under his legs. He realized he was panting and he clutched the hands in his tighter. Cool arms reached to pull him over, blue eyes shocked and staring into his.

"In the name of the gods, Kat, what the fuck was that?" Spike called out, watching as Kat rose from the sand. He could still feel Xander in his mind.

"Explain in a bit. Ow, should have just had you stab me or something." She rubbed a hand across the back of her head. Lips quirked as she saw the mess around her. "Might have been a bit of overkill to use the hollow points." She turned to meet Spike's eyes as he held Xander's quivering body. "Worked though. Thank you."

Spike simply nodded, focused on Xander. "Xan, pet, luv, you okay?" His hands moved over Xander's back.

"Yeah, just really freaked out. I could, I could feel you, you were in my head," he stuttered out, suddenly growing cold.

Kat pulled him away, careful not to touch Spike, her blood growing tacky as it dried. "Let's go back to the bungalow. Want to shower and change, have to burn these clothes, I think." They headed back up the path, moving slowly.

Xander settled on the couch next to Spike, the only light in the room coming from the hurricane lamps that Kat had lit when they returned. She had taken a quick shower and changed into the clothes she bought. Spike had followed after her, wanting to get the salt off his skin, gratefully taking the clothes she had remembered to bring along. Not a word had been spoken, each waiting for the others to begin. Finally, the tension became too much and Xander started to speak.

"Okay, I get why you had Spike do that, had you hover at the threshold of life and death, let him touch you, let you see him, I get that, but why the hell could I see it too, all I did was touch each of you, just wanted to be able to let Spike touch you because he couldn't because of the blood." Xander turned to Spike. "I saw things, I saw what it was like for you to be part of her, she's inside your mind, you're part of her, she's part of you. Gods, I'm so jealous, wish I could have that. I want to feel that, I want to be part of you." He whirled back around to Kat. "I could feel it, can still feel you inside me, like a part of me. I want that, I want to be part of you. I don't want to be alone. Please, Kat, please." He stopped, panting for breath.

"Xander," their voices in unison.

"No, I mean it. Mistress, please, take me too. I'm not worthy of it, I know, but please, please, take me too. I want to be Spike's and he's yours so I want to be yours. I want to have everything he is, feel everything he feels. Please." He dropped to his knees before her, echoing Spike's movements. "Please."

"Xander," Kat said quietly, running her fingers through his hair. "Do you realize what you're asking?"

Xander just nodded, trying to think of anything he could say or do to make her realize the truth of his words.

"No," Spike wrenched him away. "No, I will not allow this. You will not do this." He glared down at her, fangs in full view. "You will not take him from me. Xander, you can't ask this, you can't, it will change you, take you away from me."

"But you said that there was no demon," Xander started, confused. How could it change him. He heard Spike growling next to him and he reached out a hand to trace down Spike's leg, trying to calm him.

"What Spike is trying to say is that if you are not meant to be mine, then you are changed and not for the better. It fundamentally changes you. But only if it is not your destiny." She locked eyes with Spike at that. Xander watched as the two of them exchanged a long look, some type of conversation taking place between them. Suddenly, Spike let out a startled gasp.

"Truly? I suspected, I wanted to believe, but, truly, oh Mistress," the words tumbled out as Spike's face settled back into its human planes. He stepped back, knowing he could not interfere.

"Alexander, rise." The voice of power filled the room and Xander instantly sprang to his feet. "Do you understand? You said you saw, do you know what it will mean? It means that you are mine absolutely, that you live at my will, that you must do all I ask. If I asked you to kill Willow, would you? Could you?"

Xander shuddered, he knew this would be the question, knew that this would be the hardest choice he would have to face. He paused, weighing the choice in his mind. Could he do that, could he kill his closest friend since childhood? He pondered the choice, remembering all she had meant to him, remembering the feel of absolute unity that he had glimpsed. Which did he need more. Abruptly, he saw her holding a fire extinguisher, standing in his front yard, assuming that he had been turned, assuming the worst. "Yes. If you asked, then I would. I know you would only ask if it was something you needed."

A smile flickered across her face, then her expression settled back into harshness. "There is no going back, Alexander. No revocation. You will be mine forever. Do you choose this freely?"

"Yes." No hesitation. No doubt. He wanted it more than almost anything. The only thing he desired more was to feel Spike claim him, to feel those fangs sink into his neck.

"Fine. William, can you retrieve the knife from my bag?" She reached out and pulled Xander to sit next to her. Xander began to fidget slightly. As much as he wanted this, he was a little nervous, a little shy. How was he just supposed to. . .

"It's not like that, Xander. The only reason it was that way between William and I was because he cannot drink my blood. You can. It will be fine." A broad smile crossed her face. "I'm not going to lie, it's going to hurt like hell."

Xander just nodded as Spike came back with an intricately carved knife. He nestled in behind Xander, cradling the man in his arms. "It'll be fine, Xander." He tried to keep his voice calm, tried to keep his joy from shining forth. Xander had to make the decision willingly, not because Spike wanted him to, not because of all the implications. He handed the knife to Xander and watched as Kat reached out her right arm.

"You cut me, I cut you, you drink from me, then I drink from you. Do you know what to say," she kept her voice low and quiet, soothing and calm. Xander simply nodded once again, heart pounding from excitement and a little fear. He took a deep breath, reached out his arm and slowly pressed the tip into her flesh. He pressed just deeply enough to let the blood ooze through, then handed her the knife. She gently sliced through his flesh, the sting eased by the feel of Spike's cool hands on his upper arms. Kat lifted her arm to his lips and the words fell out, as natural as breathing.

"Flesh of my flesh," he pressed his lips to her wrist and drank, tasting her power, feeling it course through his veins. He raised his arm to her mouth as her hand covered his eyebrow.

"Blood of my blood," she leaned forward and sucked fiercely on his wrist. His eyes rolled back in his head as the pain hit, a fierce sting as the scar was burned into him. But that was nothing, a mere distraction from the pain in his mind. He felt her burn through him, felt something snap, some piece of himself that he had barely sensed suddenly be set free. It ripped through him, all his senses overloaded. He could feel, taste, touch, hear, see more, like everything was suddenly in focus for the first time. He could feel them in his mind, feel them snap into place, a missing piece of his soul complete as Katarina and Spike settled there. He suppressed a hysterical giggle at the image, at the thought that a soulless demon could complete his soul. He heard them calling to him, both within and without, and he forced himself to pull back, to return to the present, to the reality of the outside world.

"Thank you, thank you, oh, Kat," Spike managed to somehow pull them both into his arms. "Mistress, I do not deserve such a gift."

"Let go, you silly wanker. Crushing Xander you know," Kat batted at Spike's arms until he let go. She watched as Xander and Spike turned into each other, Spike's hands cradling Xander's face. She watched as they concentrated, as they discovered just how to sense the other. "Besides, not done yet." Xander and Spike turned at that, drawing apart just enough to do so. "Xander, wasn't there something else you wanted?"

Xander nodded, trying to find his voice. "Yes, I want, I want to be Spike's." He turned back to face Spike fully. "I want to be claimed. I want to be his."

Spike groaned as he bent to kiss his love. "Xander, can't, want to, can't, fucking chip." He started as Kat slowly ran her fingers through his hair.

"Still not taking it out. But there's nothing that says I can't give you an exception." She watched their eyes light up at that. They didn't hesitate for a second. Xander tilted his head back as Spike dove down, his fangs sinking deeply into Xander's flesh. Low moans filled the air as Spike drank, marking his love, marking Xander as his own for all eternity. He finally raised his head, lapping the flesh clean, feeling Xander move through him.

"I love you." The words drifted down and he leaned up slightly, placing his lips on Xander's ear. "I know. I can taste it. I love you, too." He bent back down and finished cleaning Xander's neck.

"If the Hallmark moment is over, then let's get going. I'm starved." Kat's voice broke the mood. She hopped off the couch and headed over to pick up her bag, moving around the room and turning off the lamps. "Besides, it might be time to tell Xander about the other parts of the deal."

"What other parts?" Xander asked. Spike just grinned at him. "Spike, Kat, what other parts? Guys, guys," he called after them as they headed out the door. "Is there something you would like to share?"

"In a few, hungry, let's go." Kat yelled back, swiping the keys from Spike. "I drive. You go make out with your better half in the back seat. No actual sex, though. Just had the damn thing detailed from last time."

"Yes, mommy," she heard faintly as Spike pounced on Xander.

"Tall stack of chocolate chip. Tall stack of silverdollar. Two tall stacks of buttermilk. Six orders of sausage. Four orders of hash browns. Just bring over a pot of coffee, regular. Oh, and extra strawberry syrup. Thank you, Star." Kat leaned back in the booth, letting out a long sigh.

Xander looked around incredulously. "Um, Kat, why are we at an IHOP?" This may actually be the last place on earth he ever expected her to be.

"Love IHOP. Besides, where else can you get perfectly burnt hashbrowns at 3:30 a.m." She nodded a thanks as the pot of coffee was set on the table. "And I'm starved. You try losing basically all your blood and we'll see how you feel. Shut up, Spike." The vampire yelped as she kicked under the table.

"Wasn't going to say anything," he grumbled, reaching for the coffee. "Ow," he yelped again as she stabbed him with her fork.

"No caffeine for you. Don't want to listen to you whine all day about not being able to go outside and Xander is going to need his sleep and I'm going to need my sleep and you, you will just get into trouble." A low growl rumbled across the table and she kicked him again. "Don't you even growl at me."

"Guys," Xander's neck was starting to hurt from turning back and forth between them. "Would someone please tell me the other parts of the deal now?"

"Oh, that's simple, pet. Our darling Mistress over there just made you immortal." Spike dodged as Kat threw a sugar packet at him.

"Nice way to ease into it, William." She turned back to Xander, seeing the shocked expression on his face. "Well, hells, Xander, what do you think it means when I said that you lived at my will. You live at my will. You don't die unless I want you to die."

"Oh," Xander replied. A smile creased his face. "Better keep you happy then, hadn't I? Hey, Spike, how did you manage to stay alive this long. If it were me, you would have been dust a long time ago. You have any idea how many times I've wished you to die."

"Not that simple, luv." Spike pitched the sugar packet back across the table. "Tell him the truth, Kat. Don't make me do it. You know it makes me break into a rash."

"Fine, spoil my fun. Xander, since you gave yourself to me freely, I cannot unilaterally decide that you should die. We have to reach the decision together. And, since you are now Spike's and Spike is mine, well, I can't get rid of either of you unless both of you want it and I agree." She gulped down a large swallow of coffee and immediately started sputtering. "Ow, hot, hot, hot."

"That's usually what the steam curling up means. You sure you are all powerful and all knowing." Now Spike kicked her.

"But, but, I thought, Spike said I would be changed, I feel the same, well, not the same, just feel more, but still me," Xander stuttered. Spike and Kat both stilled, suddenly turning serious.

"That's because this is your destiny." Serious eyes met him across the rim of Kat's coffee cup. She blew gently on the coffee and took a gentle sip. "Let me ask you something. When you first kissed Spike, what did you feel? Besides the obvious. What did you think?" She waited as Xander formulated his answer.

"Like, well, like I was coming home. Like it was meant to be, was always supposed to be. Like, well, like that was the whole point of my life." Xander stared down, embarrassed at the depth of his emotion, feeling remarkably girly. He felt Spike's fingers ease done to stroke the back of his hand.

"So did I, Xander." Spike quietly admitted.

"Exactly. You know how they say there is someone for everyone. It's not just a saying you know. It's just that most people never manage to find their mate. Oh, they meet them, but since they don't seem right at first, they just give up, never take the chance to find out if there is more. You did. You accepted Spike for who and what he was, even after he tried to kill you. Why do you think he never succeeded? Why do you think you could never kill him? This is where you were meant to be." Kat perked up as the waitress staggered over with their food. "Mmmm, pancakes."

"So, this is where I'm supposed to be." Xander looked up and grinned widely. "Think I can deal with that."

"Same here, pet." Spike set to work on the silver dollar pancakes, humming happily. "Mmmm, pancakes."

Xander just rolled his eyes. Spike never ceased to amaze him. "So, what was that other thing. It was, well, weird. Good, but weird."

Kat swallowed and took a quick sip of water. "Let me ask you this, have you ever wondered just why it is that you're a demon magnet? Seriously, you would think they would gun for the Slayer. No offense, but you don't seem to be that hard a kill. No glory in that."

Xander frowned a little. He had speculated over the years, but had never really come up with anything solid. "Well, yeah, but, just figured it was because I seemed so easy to kill."

"Not quite. Spike, you weren't going to eat your sausage, were you?" Spike just shoveled them off his plate and onto hers. No point in arguing, she would just pout at him until she got her way. And it would work. After all, she was the one who taught him how to do it.

"Xander," she reluctantly set down her fork. "You have a gift. A very special gift, a very rare gift. You are an empath." She leaned her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her clasped hands.

"Empath, so I can feel what others feel, how is that special?" Xander shook his head, now thoroughly confused.

"Well, it is special, most beings don't give a shit what any one else feels. But it's more with you. When you took our hands and thought that you wanted to let Spike touch me, you were able to make that happen. You opened a portal between our minds, let us all reach and touch and experience everything in all our minds. And you weren't even trying. Imagine what it's going to be like when you know how to use it. That's why everything comes after you. Not trying to kill you so much as to take you. You can be quite the weapon you know."

Xander gaped at her. "But, but, I've never, never knew, thought I was nothing." He stopped suddenly as they both growled fiercely.

"You are not nothing. Kat, please, let me go kill them." Spike hissed. He hated this, the insecurity that had been beaten into his mate's mind. He could feel it now, if he concentrated hard enough, he could sense how deep it ran through Xander.

"No." Kat turned back to Xander. "You are not nothing. Even without this you would not be nothing. Know that." The rage was in her as well, but she had millennia of practice at reining it in. "This is just something more. It's not a separate part of you, it is you. It's who you are, it is your destiny. You just didn't know it until you finally were with Spike. That's why you could do it tonight. You instinctively wanted to help Spike and you naturally did the right thing. That's why you could hear him. You knew what he needed." She leaned back and grabbed the strawberry syrup.

"So, I wouldn't be able to know until Spike," Xander's head was reeling, trying to make sense of it all. "Why could I hear him, he hadn't claimed me yet."

"Good question, mate. Why was that?" Spike stared over, hoping he was right, that he what he felt when he first kissed Xander was true.

"Oh, that's simple," Kat licked the extra syrup off her finger. She looked up, grinning at the two of them. "You share a mind, you share your heart. You could hear him because he has always been a part of you. You have always been a part of him. You are each other." She speared Xander's last sausage as his mouth dropped open and he stared at her.

Part Eleven

She munched away happily as Xander and Spike stared at her. Xander looked shocked. She shook her head slightly, really, he should be over that by now. Spike looked thrilled, that little smile he always got when he ended up being right about something. He looked smug and insufferable. Why had she ever shown him how to do that?

"Xander, close your mouth, dear." She grinned as Xander instantly complied, a look of embarrassment creeping across his face. "Surely you had figured that out already?" She drizzled a little more syrup over her hashbrowns and sighed happily as she ate.

Xander just stared at her, trying not to let his jaw drop open again. "Well, not really. I mean, knew we were something, that there was something more to it. I mean, it was so much, you know, but," he stopped. He had no idea how to continue.

"Oh, bloody hell, Xan." Spike spun on the seat and grabbed Xander's shoulders. "Here it is. You were always mine. I was always yours. Something or someone decided a long time ago that we were meant to be. I'm your darkness. You're my light. One and the same. Half of us always looking for the whole. Found you. Thought so. Hoped so. Then you kissed me." Spike's eyes grew a little dim as the memory crested over them. He could still feel it, could still remember the shock and the joy that rushed through him when Xander's mouth opened over his. His grip loosened and he began to run his hands up and down Xander's arms. "I could taste myself in you. Shouldn't have been. No way it could have been. But there it was. Me in you." He stopped, not sure he could go on, not with Xander staring at him like that, not with those dark eyes burning into his, pulling him down and into their depths.

"So all those times I just wanted to crawl under you skin and be part of you forever, I already was." Xander felt the joy swelling in him, felt the first faint realization of just what it all meant.

"Yes"

They turned their heads, startled for a moment. They had forgotten that Kat was there, had forgotten where they were, had forgotten that anything existed other than them, here together. Reality crowded down on them and they sighed, wanting to just be alone, just drink in all this meant. Wanted to explore what this connection was between them. They could feel each other, could sense each other's heart and mind. It was starting to be too much to sit here, the florescent lights too bright, the smells too strong, the sound of the traffic outside too harsh. They simply wanted to leave.

"Look, there's still a lot more to discuss, but dawn is coming. And I'm actually full." Kat grabbed the check and headed off for the counter to pay, dropping a bill on the table as she did so.

"You always tip too much," Spike grumbled, as they slid out of the booth.

"Yes, and I always get exceptional service," she called back, heading out the door with them trailing behind her.

Xander yawned hugely as they entered their bedroom. He had nearly fallen asleep on the short ride back to the hotel, cradled in Spike's arms. Slowly, slowly, his emotions were calming, were settling into place. It had been an intense night. First, the confrontation with Angelus. Xander growled faintly. Angelus. Never Angel again. Never again. "Should have staked him." The words spilled out quietly and he felt Spike's arms wrap around his waist.

"No, hers to do. Her vengeance. Trust me. Spent almost a century having her remind me of that." Spike shuddered slightly as the feel of some the lessons came back to him. "She appreciates the concern, but, well, if you haven't noticed yet, she can take care of herself."

Xander leaned back into Spike's chest, letting Spike hold him up. He knew Spike loved it when Xander let him take care of him. It wasn't something he did often, both of them needing to retain some control. But tonight it felt like a gift to let Spike simply lead him to the bed, sit him down and begin undressing him. The hands were gentle, comforting, as Spike peeled off his shirt, carefully removed his shoes, pressed a quick kiss to his ankles, then removed his pants. The touch was calming, soothing, helping settle Xander even more. He closed his eyes and drifted away, turning the events of the night over in his mind.

Then after Angelus, standing there watching as Spike blew Kat's head off. His mind still shied away from the reality of it, the sound and vision too much. His absolute terror when Spike began to scream, the guttural howl of pain that cut through Xander like a knife. He felt a twinge of guilt. When those sounds began to come from Spike, all he cared about was stopping it, making sure Spike was fine, that he wasn't harmed. Not one thought for Kat's still form had crossed his mind. He knew that she didn't need him to worry about her, but he still felt he should have been at least a little concerned.

And when he took their hands. He shivered a little and felt himself pulled up the bed, gently tucked under the covers. Another shudder went through him as the feel of it washed over him. It had been blind impulse, sheer instinct that led him that action. He could feel Spike's desperate need to touch her, to reach out and make sure she was going to return. He had no idea what would happen next, he simply wanted to provide them both comfort. Cold arms pulled him tight as the tremors increased. It was so intense, so much, overwhelming. He could still feel them there, the memories now his as well. Hesitantly, he reached down into himself, pulling forth the feel of Spike becoming part of her. The emotions welled through him and he drew in a huge breath, tears springing to his eyes.

"Hush, hush, don't, not now, too much, it'll get easier, don't, I've got you now," Spike's voice rang in him, sounding in his ear and vibrating in his soul. He relaxed, focusing on the way Spike's fingers were tracing patterns on his skin. "All the time in the world, don't have to understand now."

The tears came at that as the truth finally hit him. All the time in the world. They truly had all the time in the world. He knew, knew as much as he knew that he was Spike's and Spike was his that Kat would never allow harm to come to them. The sobs increased as all the times that he nearly lost Spike sprang unbidden to mind. All the times that he could have killed Spike, had tried to kill Spike. All the times that his friends had tried to kill the vampire. All the times that Spike had thrown himself into battle, heedless of his own safety. It was all clear to him now. Every time that Spike had pushed him aside, every time that Spike had drawn some demon's attention to him and away from Xander, every time that Spike had chosen to stay and fight rather than leave, every time that Spike had merely sat there while Buffy and the rest of his so called friends were so very cruel. It was all clear. It was for him, because Spike loved him, had loved him, would always love him. He clutched the arm around his waist and held on. How could he have been so blind, how could he have waited so long, how could he have ever wanted the vampire to leave?

"I'm sorry," gasped between sobs, "I'm sorry," he stopped, not even sure what all he was apologizing for.

The arm around his waist just tightened and Xander felt himself pulled even more tightly into Spike's chest. "'S'all right. Didn't waste time, things happen how they're supposed to. Not meant to be until she was here, until she could make you see, teach you. Shh, calm down, never leave you. Never." The pain roiling through Xander was burning in him as well. He should have expected this, it had been a very long and very hard day and it was only natural that Xander react like this. Hell, he felt like crying and he never cried. Well, not since the night he called Kat. It was just too much, to suddenly be given what he had been longing for since he could remember. Too good. Too pure. Too much. He pressed his lips to Xander's neck, dropping little kisses along the length, comforting the best way he knew how.

Xander turned in his arms, bringing his lips around to meet Spike's. They kissed slowly, passion secondary to comfort, releasing all the fear that had tainted the night. Complete. Together. One. Forever. They finally drew apart and Xander settled his head on Spike's chest, faintly amused as always that he still listened for a heartbeat.

"Spike," the sleepy sound drifted up.

"Yes, pet." Spike smoothed his hand across Xander's brow, rubbing away the tension remaining there.

"You'll tell me when you first suspected," Xander's words were muffled in Spike's chest.

"Yes. Sleep now, you've had a long day." Spike rubbed his hand down Xander's back, feeling the breathing slow and the tension finally fade away. He dropped one last kiss on Xander's head before he drifted off as well.

"Morning, sunshine. Well, evening, I should say." Spike groaned as the cheery words yanked him from his rest.

"Luv, you are much, much too chipper." Spike pulled a pillow over his head as Xander turned on the bedside lamps.

"Yeah, well, in a good mood. In a very good mood. In fact, can't remember being this happy, since, well, since ever." Xander bounced around the room, gathering up Spike's clothes. When he woke up about an hour before, it was clear that both Spike and Kat were still asleep. Lying there, he discovered that he could feel them sleeping, could tell that Kat was dreaming, a good dream, in fact a faint blush crept up his cheeks as he realized that she was dreaming about Thomas. Naked. That propelled him out of bed and into the shower. It was there that the sudden wave of giddiness overtook him. He was immortal. Immortal. Always going be around. And he had powers. Some kind of powers anyway. And he was Kat's. And, most important, he was Spike's. Everything he ever wanted. Some small part of his mind wanted to scream that there had to be a catch, had to be some bad to come with the good. The rest of his mind blocked that out and he decided to be happy, to just enjoy this while he could.

"Get up. Get dressed. Kat's up." He could hear her roaming around in the living room of the suite, muttering dire imprecations. Something about room service and coffee and why didn't they believe her. "Get up." He swatted Spike on the ass and grinned when Spike yanked him down.

"Oh, that's not a problem, Xander." The husky growl in his ear would have told him that without Spike pressing his hand to the vampire's groin.

"Hmm, what have we here? Question, Spike, do you still call it morning wood if you don't wake up until after sunset? What would it be then? Evening wood? And doesn't that sound like the name of some trailer park?" Xander grinned as he began rubbing Spike just the way the vampire liked.

"Don't know. Don't care." Spike's eyes rolled back as Xander pumped him harder, giving him no rest. "Xan," panted out as he was quickly pulled to the brink, Xander's touch relentless. Suddenly, he was devoured by Xander's mouth and he came with a noiseless scream, the warm wetness too incredible to resist.

"Have to brush my teeth again." Xander grinned down, laughing at the dirty look Spike shot him.

"What's gotten into you, mate? Never seen you like this." Spike grinned back, happiness filling him as well.

"You." The honest answer stopped them both short and they stared at one another until the tension became too much and they both started to laugh.

"Not yet, pet. Later. Promise." Spike grabbed his clothes from where Xander placed them at the foot of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Xander followed, brushing his teeth again. He didn't want to, he loved the taste of Spike's cum in his mouth, but he did want to be polite. After all, the scent was rather distinctive.

He wandered into the suite, stretching slowly, contentment seeping through him. He stopped suddenly, nearly wrenching his back out when he saw all the people gathered around the coffee table. There was Kat, looking incredibly grown up and responsible in a business suit. Four other men, all impeccably dressed, all wearing suits. And there Xander stood, stretching, in jeans and an old sweater. He blushed suddenly, hoping against hope they hadn't heard what he and Spike had just been doing.

"Alexander, glad you're finally up. Was just telling these gentlemen that I was about to wake you, after all, with the bedrooms soundproofed there was no way to tell we were here." Her eyes scrunched up as she grinned at him and he slowly let out his breath.

"Yes, well, perhaps I had better go to tell Spike," his eyes closed at that and he felt the blush work its way back up his face. He could just see Spike bouncing out, naked and horny and grabbing him in front of everyone. He knew Spike wouldn't care, but he did.

"I'll take care of that," Kat replied, a knowing look on her face. "Let me just introduce you first. Gentlemen, this is Alexander Harris. Xander, these are Mr. Day, Mr. Rothstein, Mr. Gribben and Mr. LaPierre. They are here to finish up some paperwork. Why don't you grab some coffee, have a seat and I'll be right back." She moved past him, stretching up to quickly kiss him on the cheek and then bounced into the bedroom. Xander grabbed some coffee, desperate for the caffeine and shot a glance at the clock. 7:30. They had slept later than he thought. He settled on the couch, a little unnerved by the way the men kept staring at him.

"Right. Spike will be out later. Xander, there are some documents that need your signature and my lawyers," a careless wave of her hand took in the men, "were happy to drop them over." She settled next to him on the couch, sipping her own coffee.

"What papers?" He hated sounding like a fool, but he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Just some transfer papers, putting you on some accounts, transferring some property, some tax stuff, a trust agreement, the usual." Her smile was wider now, and he slowly nodded.

"Oh, fine then." Whatever this was, he knew he could trust her. Papers were spread all over the table, sign here stickers dotting the pages. He picked up a pen. "So, where do I start?" One of them, he couldn't remember which one, handed him a thick sheath and his eyes widened when he skimmed through it. It was a trust agreement, apparently providing him a monthly income of. . . He froze, looking over at her. "Kat, I can't take this."

"Oh, shush. Sure you can, plenty more where that came from. And I need the write off." She leaned in closer. "And it's the same deal as Spike's so you better take it. Part of my family, I take care of you, this is part of it."

He nodded, numbed and signed where indicated. More papers, more figures, more staggering sums. He had never even imagined that many zeros. He lost track of the explanations after the first hour or so. Some of it was his absolutely. Some in trust. Some land. Some investments. Some companies. His mind was spinning. Just one of the accounts would be enough for his lifetime. He stopped when that thought crossed his mind and he turned back to Kat. "Oh," the one simple word and she nodded, understanding completely.

"Yes, have to think on a whole different scale now." She reached down and took a shaking hand between hers. "Don't worry, you'll be fine." She turned back as the men gathered up their copies. "Thank you again for the quick work. My best to your families." She ushered them out the door, pausing to make sure they were gone, then kicked off her shoes and ripped off her jacket.

"Hate playing the grown up. Doesn't suit me." She yanked open the bedroom door and Spike shot out, heading directly for Xander.

"So, how does it feel, rich boy," Spike smirked as he settled down on the couch. "Want to go shopping? You can buy me something pretty. Like, oh, I don't know, say, Puerto Rico? No, too buggy. How about a nice island in the South Seas?"

Xander just stared back at his lover. "Spike," was all he was able to get out.

Spike sobered immediately, taking Xander in his arms. "Lot to take in, I know. Tell you what, why don't I tell you a little story, make you feel better." He pulled Xander onto his lap.

"Once upon a time," Spike began, only to be belted with pillows from both the couch and the chair. "You have no sense of whimsy, either of you. Fine, tell this straight up then. Xander, you wanted me to tell you when I began to suspect. Well, always knew there was something different about me. Wasn't like the other vamps. Not just my ego talking, though I still contend it's not bragging if you can do it." He started as Kat threw another pillow at him.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he glared at Kat. "Knew I was different. Still felt things, still loved. Loved Dru, loved Angelus." The last name was said so quietly that Xander almost missed it. He tensed in Spike's arms, then tried to relax, knowing this was not the time to delve into that mess. A quick squeeze let him know that Spike understood and Xander settled back in, his head nestled into Spike's neck.

"I didn't know what it was. I knew I didn't have a soul, wasn't being tortured by guilt over the things I was doing, the things I had done. But at the same time, I wasn't completely evil, like Dru and Darla. Of course, Dru's insane and Darla, well, Darla had been the Master's plaything and that could only serve to make you evil. And Angelus was a fucking bastard before he was turned. And I, well I was a bit of nancy boy." Spike smiled faintly as an image of himself as William drifted before his eyes. He shook his head, clearing his mind as Xander shifted slightly on his lap. Kat just watched him, eyes partially closed, hearing this from his point of view for the first time.

"Still didn't understand until Dru and Angelus left me in Oxford a little bit after I was turned. Found myself in a pub I had frequented when I was in residence there, I used to go there to write." Another wry grin at that, thank the gods he had destroyed all evidence of those days. "Ran into some wankers who knew me when, they got a bit rude, took them outside, taught them a lesson, I did." Xander went still in his arms, and Spike realized that he had unconsciously vamped out. A warm hand pressed his cheek.

"It's okay, I understand, go on. Didn't know that you ever were at Oxford, why didn't you say something," Xander held his breath, not knowing if Spike would answer, but desperate to learn anything about Spike's past. Spike was never this honest and he would be damned if he was going to let the chance pass.

"Don't like to talk about it. Not pleasant memories, luv." Spike closed his eyes, knowing that soon, too soon, Xander would realize that anything he wanted to know, he could just reach into Spike's mind and discover. The thought filled him with joy and dread in equal measures. Joy because Xander would learn exactly how much Spike loved him. Dread because Xander would learn the depths of evil to which he had sunk. He knew that on some level Xander had long ago accepted that, but, still, when confronted with the reality of it, he was still afraid Xander would go, would want to leave.

"Spike, no matter what it is, still love you, you're mine. I read everything about you in the Watcher's diaries. I know there's a reason you and that thing" Xander spat out, refusing to use Angelus' name, "were called the Scourge of Europe. It happened. It's part of you. I know that, knew that, still wanted you, still want you. Made you who you are. Doesn't mean I like it, but I'm not going to judge you for it, either."

Spike's eyes widened. He met Kat's level gaze over Xander's head. If Xander knew what he was thinking like that, without even trying to delve into Spike, just how powerful was he? Kat just stared back, eyes veiled, revealing nothing. Spike's eyes went even wider. If Kat was refusing to react, then, well, then Xander had more in him than Spike had ever dreamed possible.

"Thank you, Xander." The simple words produced a powerful response. Warmth flooded through him, Xander's love and acceptance burning into him. He gasped a little, then steadied himself, wanting to finish, wanting to finally say this. "Anyway, Kat there found me, took me back to her place, kept me there until they finally came back for me. All she asked me was why I went somewhere I used to be known. Never really answered, but the truth was that I wanted to remember what it had been like, what it was like to be human. That's when I realized that I may have lost my soul, but I never lost my humanity. Drove me mad, thought that was why Dru wanted Angelus more than me. Right then I determined that was it, that I would never be that weak again, that whatever it was that I had to do to destroy William's voice inside my mind I would, anything to make it go away." His grip on Xander tightened still more, until it seemed he was trying to pull Xander's heat into his body, trying to pull the sound of his heart into his chest. His voice went flat as he continued.

"So, I became the perfect killer. The right hand to Death. Part of the Scourge of Europe. The complete opposite of everything that I was before. Thought that would work. Seemed to, for a while anyway. Then Angelus had to fuck everything up, had to kill Thomas," he glanced at Kat. She was pale but she just nodded, letting him know it was all right to continue. "Had to take Dru and flee. Everything fell apart after that. Dru didn't want me anymore. I didn't want to be alone. Hate being alone. Too much time to think, too much time to brood. Too much time to turn into the ponce. So no matter what she did, I went after her, still trying to be what I thought she wanted. Decade after decade of blood. Finally began to sicken even myself. Infuriated me even more. No matter what, it was still there. The Judge had it right. I reeked of humanity. Came to Sunnyhell. Thought maybe taking out another Slayer would help. First to take three, maybe that would make Dru stay." He gently turned Xander's face up to meet his, worry in his voice. "You do know I never loved her like this, don't you?"

Xander nodded, not wanting to speak, not wanting to break the spell. He simply kissed Spike on the cheek and snuggled back down on Spike's shoulder. Kat stirred, getting Spike a glass of water. He drank gratefully, his throat raw from speaking. Damn, he needed a cigarette. But if he smoked, he would have to let go of Xander. Not much of a choice, that.

"Showed up, fucked things up as usual. Then that debacle with the church organ, crippled in that chair. Watching as Angelus tortured the lot of you. Starting watching you after he offered you to me. I'll never forget that. You just stood there, so brave. Fascinated me. You seemed to have nothing, yet you still threw yourself out there. Hated to admit it, but it reminded me of who I used to be. A lot insecure, a lot more determined. Willing to risk anything, any embarrassment if it got you what you wanted. And it seemed that you never got what you wanted. Only got you embarrassed and hurt, physically and emotionally. But you kept trying. Admired that."

He reached down and took another sip of water, missing the feel of Xander even in the space of those seconds. "Then, after the damned Initiative got me, you were the only one who showed any concern. You took me in, unwillingly, I know, but in nonetheless. Don't blame you for tying me to that chair, had no reason to trust me. Do you know why I kept trying to kill you? Couldn't bear seeing you and knowing I couldn't have you. Then, there I was, watching you every night, listening to you sleep, your scent penetrating everything around me. Almost drove me around the fucking bend, that. Then, one night, you were having a nightmare, tossing and turning. Almost ripped through those ropes, couldn't bear it, listening to you suffer. Only reason I didn't was because I was sure you would stake me if I did. Or if not, make me go back to stay with the Watcher. Would have been worse than staking, that. Only thing I was living for at that point was watching you. Didn't realize I loved you. Thought it was just obsession, something to take the place of Dru." Humor crept into his voice. "Always did like tall, broad shouldered, moody, dark haired, dark eyed men. Oedipal as all hell I know, but there it is."

Xander stirred under him and Spike looked down, concerned. "Need something, luv? Uncomfortable?" A shake of the head, and Spike stared at him. Xander was being awfully quiet. "What's wrong, pet?"

"Nothing, just, don't like to hear about you hurting, especially if I was part of it." Quiet words, yet they pierced like a dagger.

"That's over now. And it's not like I haven't hurt you. Hells, Xan, I've tried to kill you, you do remember that," Spike gave him a little shake, then let him settle back down. "I'll be having none of this. All in the past. Only reason I'm telling you know is you deserve the truth, need to hear if from me." A nod into his chest and Spike continued, voice thickening as he reached the most difficult part.

"You were having a nightmare and I had to listen, couldn't do anything about it. Pure torture. And I knew it was the least of what I deserved. Then," a loud swallow. "Then you said Cecily."

Xander pulled back, eyes opening in shock. "Oh merciful gods." Spike had finally told him about Cecily about a year ago. But there was no way he could have known before then. He remembered the conversation, Spike drinking steadily the entire time. Xander remembered the fury that burned in him when Spike finally slurred out the end of the story then passed out. He remembered how he slipped out of the house and went prowling, finding a fledgling that he tortured before staking, needing to destroy something, anything, since he couldn't rip Cecily to shreds. He wrapped his arms around Spike, clutching the cold flesh to him.

"And I knew you were having a dream about her. Hadn't told anyone about her yet, no way you could have known. Even Peaches didn't know the whole story. Gods know I never told Dru. But you said her name," Spike continued on, driving forward desperately, determined to get through this. "Could have pushed me in the sun I was so shocked. Didn't dare ask. Same thing happened the next night. And the next. Then it got worse. It wasn't just her name, you started reciting whole portions of the conversation. Somehow you knew, you knew. Then, one night, you sat bolt upright, looked me dead in the eye and said 'Spike, gods, Spike, I'm so sorry, if I could I would have killed her for you' then you collapsed back down and fell right back to sleep." Spike's voice was shaking as hard as his body and Xander felt tears pouring down his face, soaking into Spike's shirt.

"You woke up the next morning, obvious you didn't remember a damn thing. Took off for the crypt the next night. Couldn't bear it. Couldn't even begin to think what it was. Started doing research in the Watcher's books." A sly grin at that as Spike began to calm down. "He truly needs to get better locks. Still can't believe the lot of you never realized that was why I was helping. Kept looking, but there was nothing to explain it. Started following you. Still nothing to explain it. Wrote it off as just one of those Hellmouth things. Kept following you though, making sure you were safe. Could have throttled those supposed friends of yours, ignoring you. The demon taking you for granted. Finally, you asked me grab a beer one night, started talking, and there it was. Listening to you was like listening to me. Same thoughts, same feelings, same reactions. Felt whole whenever I was with you. Wanted to tell Kat about it, knew she would know what it meant, but, couldn't. Then, she called, could finally tell her all about you. The more I did, the more sure I became. You were mine. I was yours. Just didn't know what to say or do. Then you got hurt." Spike started shaking again, the desperate fear of that time as vivid as when it happened.

"Realized that I could lose you without ever having you, didn't know what to do. Couldn't bear it anymore, so I called on the bond. Knew Kat was the only one who would understand what it meant to love a mortal. She came. She touched you. She liked you. Then you went to comfort her and then you kissed me and I could taste me in you and I was sure, so sure. But, couldn't say anything, had to stay quiet. Couldn't influence what you did. Drove me mad, tasting me in you and not saying anything. Then, then you asked to be made hers, and I was so scared, afraid it would destroy you. But she wouldn't have done it if it would hurt you. I was right, it is our destiny. And now, now you are mine and nothing can ever take you. Nothing will ever take you. Mine. Yours. Always." Spike fell silent, feeling free at last, all the things he had ever wanted to say laid as an offering before Xander's feet.

"Spike, I never knew," Xander started. Spike just kissed him, stilling the words.

"Weren't supposed to. Took me a long time to figure it out. You would have eventually, I just got a little impatient." Spike traced a finger down Xander's cheek, wiping away the faint moisture still there. "Never big on patience, you know."

Xander laughed, shattering the intensity of the atmosphere. "No, really. Hadn't noticed that about you. Parent/Teacher night bring back any memories." He slid off Spike's lap, needing to stretch out his legs which had fallen asleep. Curious, he turned to Kat. "When did you know?"

She grinned at the two of them, shadow and light, so different and yet the same. "The second Spike said your name. Do you know that whenever we talked it was always 'Xander this' and 'Xander that' and 'Xander and I'. Never whelp or pet or luv or all the things he calls you. Always Xander. Saying it just to hear your name. I know him very well you know, not just because of the bond. He never said anyone's name like that. Told me all I needed to know." She stood, grabbing a beer for each of them from the bar. "Then, when I shook your hand when I met you, then I was positive. Can feel it in you. Just like I knew what you are. It's right there, if you know how to look."

Xander took the offered beer gratefully, he could use a drink after the events of the last few days. "So, what happens now? I mean, what do I do with this gift of mine? I don't even know how to use it." He sighed, yet another change in the constant flux of his life.

"Kind of up to you. I'll teach you how to use it. Have to, dangerous otherwise." Kat placed her bottle on the endtable next to her chair. "I'm serious, Xander. Now that you've finally touched your power, it can be very dangerous. You will eventually be able to merely touch someone and seen into their mind, be able to know if they are telling the truth, be able to feel their every thought, remember their every memory. You'll be able to use their thoughts to your own ends. Very powerful. Very dangerous. Very seductive. That's why you're a demon magnet. Train you right, and you can control any being you wish. And now that you're aligned with Spike, well, that just makes it worse."

"How so," Xander started, then comprehension dawned. "His strength. His cunning. My ability. We could be unstoppable."

"Exactly." She just stared back at him. "Basically the only thing that could stand in your way would be me. And you've offered yourself to me. So, now nothing can kill you. Not even me. That's power." She picked up her beer and took a long drink as she watched Xander and Spike struggle with this announcement.

"Then, why, why did you do it? Why did you take him?" Spike asked.

"Why do you think?" She answered, staring at them both.

They looked at one another, sure this was a test, but unsure of what. They continued to stare, then Spike reached down, linking fingers with Xander. The answer was suddenly as obvious to him as the love he had for the man before him.

"You made us yours because that was what was meant to be. Because together we are balance. Neither good nor evil. We simply are." He stopped, knowing Xander would finish for him.

"And whatever we need to do, we will do. If violence is needed, Spike provides that. If understanding, then I provide that. If both, we can do that. Whatever, we are one. And there is nothing to fear in that." Xander grinned at Spike. "So, we can't just take over the world? 'Cause that could be fun. Make Spike call me master," he waggled his eyebrows as Spike's eyes dilated at that.

"Everything's always sex to you two," Kat rolled her eyes. "Of course you can't take over the world, why would you want the responsibility. No time for sex then." Their answer was perfect, as she knew it would be.

"So, head back tomorrow and you'll teach me how to use the Force. Can I call you Yoda?" Xander ducked waiting for the strike to come. "Ow, fuck that hurt." He had ducked right into the pillow.

"No. And you are so predictable." Kat grinned at him. "Have to do some fight training as well, no way you are coming hunting with us until your reflexes get better."

"Hmm, Yoda." Spike eyed her with glee. Whole new worlds of teasing there. He turned back to Xander. "Of course, if you want me to call you padawan," he murmured into Xander's ear, grinning as Xander flushed.

"Will you wear the robes?" Xander's eyes were dark as the image came to him.

"Only if you'll wear the braid. And as long as we're in L.A. we can stop at a costume shop, get good costumes. See what else is there." Spike pulled Xander against him and they slowly began to rub against one another.

"Hello, guys, still in the room. Remember, other person present." Kat's resigned voice called out. "One of these times you actually are going to have sex in front of me. And I just know my video camera won't be handy."

They laughed as they pulled fractionally apart. "At least now you can quit that bloody job, spend all your time with me," Spike beamed up at Xander. That fight could now end.

"Don't know about that, does keep me in shape. You wouldn't want me getting out of shape now, would you?" Xander teased back.

"Just have to find, other ways, shall we say, of making sure you're in shape," a low purr now and they leaned back into one another.

"Bloody hell that hurt," they screamed in unison as the shoes hit their heads.

"Then stop trying to have sex in front of me. Hells, I have reason to believe that you are both fairly bright. Even lab rats would get this. Snogging, fine. Shagging, not fine. If you start to shag I either hit your myself or with the nearest handy object. How many times has this happened now, yet you persist." She shook her head mournfully. "That's it, next time I'll just let you, film it and upload it. And I'll send Willow the URL."

"You wouldn't." Spike just stared at her. "Bloody hell, what am I saying? Of course you would. What's say, pet, want to make a movie?"

Xander grinned back, "Sure, can there be costumes? Not the Star Wars thing, I'm thinking a whole pirate theme."

They laughed as Kat just groaned. "Irredeemable. Don't know why I bother. So, it's settled, going back to Sunnydale."

Xander nodded, laughter dying down. He moved to stand in the door to Kat's room, able to look in the bathroom mirror from there. The scar was obvious as was the bite mark.

"Yeah, we're going to go back. The Scooby Gang's going to be pissed." He pushed the thought away. He would deal with that when the time came. Cool arms wrapped around his waist as he turned from the mirror.

"Don't worry about them Xander," Kat rose and walked over to him, handing him another bottle of beer. "I'll take care of that."

Part Twelve

He ignored the sounds outside his door, choosing rather to simply continue staring at the spot on the wall, the one that he had been staring at for the last three days. Not that he had really even noticed the spot. No, he was looking beyond it, behind it, reality shimmering around him, less real than the memories that lingered there, just behind that spot.

"Angel," Cordy's voice, hoarse from crying. "Please open the door. At least a little, I brought you some dinner. I even bought it with my own money, O positive, your favorite. Please, open the door." She pounded harder, hoping this time she could break through to him. She could hear the bedsprings creak as he shifted a little, the only indication that he was still there, that he hadn't turned to dust. She tried to calm herself. "I'll just leave it right here, right outside the door. You can get it when you're ready, I wrapped it in a towel, should stay warm for a nice long time." She slowly backed away, gathering up the mug from last night's meal. As long as he was still feeding then she still retained some hope that he would snap out of whatever it was that led to this.

She had no idea what happened. She had vaguely registered Angel leaving the gala but hadn't given it much thought. She was too busy chatting with a handsome young surgeon to care. She had quickly taken the handsome man up on his offer of a drink, careful to call and tell Wesley where she was and who she was with. It had been a lovely evening, and it was only when she finally came back to the office the next morning that she realized something was wrong. Wesley and Gunn where pounding on Angel's door, pounding loud enough to wake the dead.

"Cordelia, thank heavens you're finally here, did something happen last night?" Wesley dragged her over as soon as she was close enough to reach.

"What? No, well, yes I met this wonderful surgeon, but other than that? What is wrong with the two of you?" She stared as Gunn threw his shoulder into the door.

"Angel barricaded himself in, won't come out, won't talk," Gunn grunted, wincing as he rubbed his shoulder.

"Did anything unusual happen last night?" Wesley turned to stare fiercely down. Cordelia frowned right back at him.

"Wasn't my turn to vampiresit. I was there for the party. Angel left early, but I expected that. Other than that, nothing. No fights, no blood, no fangface. Just a lovely party. He should have stayed." A trace of concern crept into her face. "Has he eaten?" She looked down and saw a mug on the floor.

"He won't come out, but he did take it when we put it there." Wesley frowned harder. Nothing had happened recently to provoke such a mood from Angel. In fact, things had been going well.

"Well, he'll come out when he's ready. Probably just wanted a good brood, it's been at least a week since the last one." She turned away, sure that Angel would come out in a few moments.

But now, now it had been three days and still nothing. Angel hadn't come out, hadn't spoken, hadn't given any indication that he heard them. Wesley and Gunn were seriously considering taking an ax to the door. So far, she had been able to stop them. As long as Angel was still eating, then she would hold them back. She pressed her palm to the door, then turned and walked away, knowing he would only open the door once they were all gone.

Angel slowly drank, not even tasting the richness of the warmed blood. He was gone, lost in himself, unable to stop the memories from consuming him, not sure that he wanted to. He ignored the taste in his mouth and concentrated instead on the taste still in his mind. The taste of Spike was more real to him then the bitter taste of some unknown person. The taste of Spike. His eyes clenched shut again. Not Spike. The taste of William. The taste that he had never had, Dru's mark there first, always underneath it, even when he had marked Spike as his own. No longer. There was nothing there but William now. William and the faint, elusive trace of her. The merest memory of a taste, swirling away like a wisp, like the smoke of her. But it was still just barely there, overwhelmed by the power of Spike himself. A power that he would never touch again.

He stirred, moving from the bed for the first time in days. He crossed slowly to the chest running on the foot of his bed. He raised the lid, then carefully began to remove the blankets, placing them along the side. Finally, the last blanket was set aside and the small box was removed. He returned to the bed, sitting cross-legged in the center. He reached over, pulling the key the drawer of his bedside table. He turned it in the lock, the rasping noise grating in the room. One by one he removed the items, setting them aside until he reached the last token. He lifted it slowly in the air, the flickering of the candlelight picking out the strands of hair, dark and light braided together, woven into a tight bond. He twirled it around, seeing the highlights shimmer and shift. He fell back in time as he spun it around and around.

He traced a hand through the soft locks, careful not to pull hard enough to wake. Just what color was it anyway, he mused, watching the shadows shift through the golden hair. In some light it was so pale, while in others it was dark, nearly as dark as his own. But now, now, with the candles glowing about the bed, now, all the colors seemed to merge together, honey and wheat tipped in gold, traces of all emerging in turn. Another soft touch. It was only now with that pale face relaxed in sleep could he take this chance, could he steal this moment of tenderness that would never be allowed otherwise. He looked down at the thin membranes covering those sapphire pools. He snorted softly. Sapphire pools indeed. The things that he could only say here, when all was quiet and calm. He gently lifted the knife, pulling the strands across the blade. It felt like silk in his hands. A sudden stirring and then those eyes, those incredible blue eyes shot open.

"Whatever are you doing, Angelus?" Her soft voice echoed in the room as he froze, hair still in his hands.

"Good evening, Mistress," he answered, leaning down to press a firm kiss to her lips, sinking into the warmth. He deepened the kiss as he placed the hair on the stand next to the bed.

"Not nearly so easy to distract as that," she murmured, leaning up and pushing him away. She glanced over at the lock of hair and slowly, so slowly an eyebrow arched heavenward. "Getting a bit maudlin are we?"

He flinched back automatically, then the amusement underlying her words struck him. "Not really, just wanted," he stopped, realizing that the next part would sound hopelessly maudlin. "Just wanted a piece of you to keep for the next time you leave." He looked up, forcing himself to meet her gaze.

Laughter burst from her as she leaned back into his embrace. "Gods save me from the Irish. Romantic lot of buggers, all of you. Let me guess, you shall place it in a locket and keep it next to your heart, to feel with every beat in your chest. You have realized the problem with that, I am quite sure, Angelus. No beat to press the locket into your chest." Her hands drifted down as she began playing idly with his fingers.

"I know, Katarina." He heard her low chuckle as he pressed a kiss on her brow, relishing this chance to simply hold her. She rarely allowed him this luxury, this chance to simply be content in her presence. Here, he was no one's childe, no one's Sire. Here, he simply was. Not that she seemed to care. He still was unsure why she came here, what it was that he provided to her. Some distraction, some conversation, perhaps that was it. They did not merely fall into bed and rut. No, whenever she would come to them and draw him apart, whenever she would send Dru and Darla away, whenever she would sit him down and bid him join her for dinner, then he knew how things would be. Conversation, laughter, lessons sprinkled in with her stories, then they would end up here, in bed. He knew why he was here. She was fascinating, intriguing, addicting. But he had no idea what it was he gave to her. He shook himself mentally. There was no time for that now, not while she was here in his arms, strangely quiet, allowing him this moment of gentleness.

He turned and then lay back, turning her to rest in the crook of his arm. The candlelight played across her skin, turning the whiteness into gold. He shifted so that he was resting more upright, able to view the expanse of her flesh. She was shamelessly naked and the perfection of her form was a work of art. This was one of his favorite pastimes, to run his eyes over her, burning the memory of it into his mind. He never knew when she would appear or if she would give him this gift when she did. Her slim ankles, firm calves, shapely thighs. The gentle swell of her hips, tapering to her slender waist. Her beautiful breasts, the amulet between them, the light flickering across the silver chain. Reaching down, he lifted it to the light, watching as the light danced through the liquid caught inside the crystal. It was still warm from her skin and as it spun in the light the liquid seemed to shimmer, seemed to glow with a hidden power.

"Katarina, I have always wanted to ask you, what is this? Why do you never take it off?" In all the years they had come together, in all the times he had seen her laid bare before him, this was the one item that she never removed.

"Hmm, that is my blood. That is my heart." She reached up and covered his fingers with her own, twisting it faster.

"Your blood?" He could feel his fangs emerge at that. The one thing that she could never give to him.

"Yes, my blood." She stroked a fingertip briefly along the crystal and then gently pried it from his fingers, bringing it back to rest between her breasts.

"What does it mean?" He knew he was pressing his luck, knew that he was treading on dangerous territory, but the warmth of her in his arms and the scent of her hair under his nose was lulling him, forcing him to ignore those parts screaming at him to stop, to not question this, to simply be content with whatever it was that she would give him.

"It serves as protection. I cannot harm whoever wears it." Her immediate response stunned him. She was being so open, so honest. Perhaps, perhaps he meant more to her than he had dared hope. She snuggled in closer and he automatically tightened his grip.

"Why would you need to do that?" He trailed fingers down her arm, relishing the slight shudder the action produced.

"If I were ever to find my true mate and I could not bring him into my order, then I would give this to him," a slight smile creased her face. "Or her as the case may be. This will serve to keep me from inadvertently causing them pain, from letting some stray thought destroy them. It also keeps me from intentionally causing harm. Whoever wears it is safe from me." She sounded bored now, as if the subject were simply not worth discussing. "Here, hand me the knife."

Confused, he did so, watching as she sat up when he offered it to her. She turned to face him, then raised the knife to his hair. She quickly snipped free a lock from behind his ear, making sure to nick the lobe as she did so. He hissed as her tongue lapped up the blood. She loved taunting him like this, free to bite and suck in a way that he never could. He watched as she picked up the strands of her hair, fascinated as she braided the locks together, weaving them into one.

She dropped it into his hand as she rose from the bed. "Here. Something to remember me by. I must leave now. I do not think that you and I will be coming together like this again, my sweet Angelus. You did not truly believe that I would give you part of my soul." His eyes grew wide as she stalked across the room, blowing out the candle as she did so.

"Dru, what have you done," he slapped her hard, knocking her head back against the wall of the stable.

"I wanted a childe. He wanted to be mine. Trust me, you will want him too, the stars told me it would be so." Dru licked the last of William's blood from her lips, manic glee dancing in her eyes.

"Dru," he growled out, then turned to see just what stray she brought in this time. The growl increased as he realized that he could not simply stake this one, this was not just another plaything that his insane childe had chosen to make. It was her childe and he was quite sure that if he staked the man then Dru would attack him in a furious rage. He rolled the body over then froze, struck dumb by what he saw. Dark blond hair, honey and wheat tipped in gold. Pale, pale skin, made whiter still by the first death. Sharp, high cheekbones. Long, thin fingers. He stared down, willing the eyes to open, willing the eyes to remain closed, in equal parts needing to know and afraid to find out. He saw the first quivers as the man came back, birthing into his new life. **Not blue, just not blue** an insane chant in his mind.

The eyes shot open and he was pinned to the wall. Sapphire pools. The words throbbed in his mind. Sapphire pools. As perfect and pure as hers. Dru laughed as she took her childe in her arms, hushing the frantic sobs.

"I told you that you would want him as well. I know that she left you, Daddy, left you alone. Do you know why? It was because you wanted her amulet, you wanted to be hers but would not ask. No, you would not ask, you wanted to be hers but you still wanted to be your own, not willing to give yourself over to her. I know, I know the stars told me. I heard them singing that night she left. She gave you some measure of peace and you wanted more but you would not pay the price. So, I found him, I found him and made him mine. A gift for you. Take him to her, she will give you him. I know she will." Dru crooned as she rocked William in her arms, cradling his head to her chest, dark eyes boring into his.

He pulled them to their feet, seeing William's face shifted into its true features for the first time. "Come, it is nearly dawn. We must go, we shall see her tomorrow night." He led them from the stables, a dull ache forming inside.

He slumped against the stone wall, the coolness calming his rage. He could still see the glint of silver on that human's neck as he stood next to the Mistress, next to HIS Mistress. So, she had found a mate. And given him the amulet. The amulet that should have been his. He was a true mate for her, a true match for her. He could have loved her and they could have done such glorious things, could have wreaked such havoc as had never before been seen. But, no, she had taken up with a human. A mortal. Someone who would die. She would rather have decaying flesh than him, would rather set aside her power and glory for that, that thing. He turned for Spike then howled in rage when he realized that his adopted childe was gone as well. Gone to her. He knew that Spike had gone to her. Even his childe was not truly his. And now she had placed herself under the rule of a human. His food. His food meant more to her than he did. Fine. She would pay for her folly, pay and pay and pay again. And he knew just how to do it. She had given him the knowledge and now he would put it to use. He stood and a slow smile crossed his face. Yes, he knew exactly what to do.

Angel ran a shaky hand across his face, tears staining the strands in his hand. Still soft, still smooth after all the long, lonely decades. He could still feel where she had kissed his cheek, the warmth of it clinging to his skin. He was damned, well and truly damned. After all this time, after all he had done, all she had done to him, all he had deserved, he wanted that just one more time. To feel her touch him just one more time. He brought their hair to his lips and kissed the braid reverently, still able to smell her scent. He placed it back in the box, locking it and placing it on the low table, key still in the lock. He lay back, closing his eyes and feeling her settle next to him. Damned. Well and truly damned.

Giles whistled happily as he opened The Magic Box. It was a beautiful, sunny day and he had just received a new shipment of crystals that he knew he would be able to quickly sell. And at a steep mark up. Besides that shipment, the Council had sent four huge crates of books. They were finally realizing his worth to them. Demon activity was at an all time low and his adopted family was well. A small crease formed at that thought. Well but for Xander's odd actions. He shrugged slightly. The boy had always been odd, this was simply the latest manifestations. The tension that he had been living with ever since the Mistress arrived was fading. She had taken no moves against them, not even after what he now admitted, but only to himself, had been their ill conceived confrontation with Xander. At first he thought that she was simply biding her time and his anxiety sharpened. But it had been months now, and she had done nothing. Not one them had so much as seen her. He settled his packages on the table and headed into the back to make coffee.

"Good morning, Watcher. Here, figured you would like it black." Kat peered at him from where she was sitting on the counter, holding out the mug.

Giles automatically reached out, hands shaking so badly that the coffee spilled over the rim of the mug and down his hand. He didn't even feel the pain as the hot liquid burnt his flesh. "How did you get in?" An idiotic question, but it was all he could think to say. **Surely I don't want those to be my last words** He throat constricted at the thought.

"Does it really matter? Please, sit down, you look as if you just saw death." The pleasant smile never left her face, but her eyes were cold. Giles sank to the floor, unable to move any further than that.

She gracefully hopped off the counter and sank to the floor facing him, sipping from her own mug. "Good taste, mate. Nice strong beans." She took another sip, then set the mug down next to his.

"Let's get this over with, shall we? I just got in after driving back from L.A. last night with two very, very hyper children." She shook her head slightly at the thought. "I really should have just let Spike drive." She let out a quick laugh, then looked up, staring straight into Giles' eyes. "When was the Council planning on coming for Xander? He is nearly 24 now. Were they waiting for you to tell them that he was finally showing some signs of power or was there some kind of deadline?"

He could actually feel the temperature in the room drop as she spoke, the chill of her words slicing through his flesh. He shuddered out a reply. "Mistress, it wasn't like that, I, I, they were waiting to see what would happen," he stopped short, knowing he could not lie to her.

"All this time. All this time and you knew what he was, the power he has. And you still put him out there, knowing full fucking well that every two bit demon with delusions of grandeur would head straight for him. You sick fuck. Why did you even bother with trying to understand the prophecies? All you had to do was wave Xander in front of the Hellmouth and they would just come right to you." She leaned closer, shattering whatever calm he retained. "And they simply encouraged you. I can just picture it, the joy when you told them what you found. The chance to actually watch one come into his own, watch as the powers emerged, molding it to your will. Watching the little lab rat play."

Giles flinched at that, her words striking like blows. "It, it wasn't like that, I didn't, I didn't realize," he took off his glasses, trying to blur her fury as best he could, the familiar sting of guilt biting into him. "It wasn't until, until he came back after that summer away that I knew, not until after the Ascension. I swear it." He stared into the floor, the weight of all his lies finally bowing him down.

She grabbed the back of his head, forcing him to meet her gaze. "Oh, I know that, Watcher. I understand. And I understand why you never told him. What good would it have done, you could never have trained him. That's not what I am judging you for."

A sob escaped him at those words. There was only judgment she could reach, only one choice. He was guilty, through and through. He remembered so clearly looking into Xander's guileless eyes that day and sensing the power there, suddenly seeing the gift nestled in that innocent soul. Guilty again and again. Using him time after time to draw out whatever beast it was that he could not find. Using him as bait. Exposing him to the Council without a second thought, with no hesitation, knowing this would secure his glory. Watcher of the oldest surviving Slayer. Finder of an empath before his powers came into fruition. Guilty again and again. Judged by himself during those sleepless nights. Her judgments were cruel but true. And he deserved it.

"No, I'm judging you for letting him go with no training, for exposing him to such harm with nothing more than his own heart and soul for protection." Kat's voice broke through his haze and his eyes grew wide as he met her gaze again. "That is your crime. Letting him think he was nothing. Nothing." She spat the words into his face then released him with a start, striding furiously down the length of the room. "How you could do that is beyond even me. And you know the things I have done. It is cruel beyond words. I understand that you needed to seal off your heart, you knew what his fate would be once the Council took him. But to be so cruel," she shook her head and whirled back to face him. "That is enough to earn you damnation. You deserve to die for that alone."

Giles shook as Kat reached out a hand, grabbing his forearm and pulling him to his feet. She pulled him over to the table and pushed him into a chair. He tilted his head back, waiting for the sting of the blade to come. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see it happen, not wanting to make it worse than it was. He heard the scrape of metal and shivered, knowing these were the last breaths he would take. Long moments passed and nothing happened. Finally, he opened his eyes, unable to bear the torture.

Kat sat next to him, whetting her knife, eyes gone dangerously gray. "Fortunately for you, Xander still cares for you. No matter how little you deserve it. So, you are safe from me. For the moment." A small flick of her wrist and the knife spun, embedding the tip into the center of the table.

"What, what, why, Xander cares, why would that matter," a chill spread through him as her lips curved up.

"Simple. Xander is now my kin. What is precious to him is precious to me. You are precious to him. Hell knows why, all you have ever done is lie to him. But he does not know that. He does not know that you know. I have come to offer you a deal, Watcher. You keep the Slayer in line, you keep the witches in line, you keep them from doing anything rash, and I will keep your secret. I will never allow Xander to discover that you knew and that you sold him for your own pride." Kat leaned over him, placing her hands on his chest. "This is a one time offer. And it's not negotiable." She left her hands there, burning with barely restrained power into his chest, his heart beating in time to hers.

"Any thing you wish, Mistress, I am yours to serve," Giles stammered out. He went still as her words finally penetrated. "Never allow him to discover. Then he knows what he is now? He finally met his mate?" An involuntary smile crossed his face. No wonder she was being so possessive. "Congratulations. He is a fine man."

Her laugh filled the room as she leaned back. "Yes, he is at that. But, he's not mine." Her eyes danced as shock registered on his face. Yes, much better than simply killing him outright. Much better. Especially once he realized the ramifications of his agreement.

"But if Xander knows what he is? Mistress, but I thought it was only when he had finally met his true love, only when he finally had that love returned, only then would the power be released?" Comprehension dawned and horror crept over his features. "Spike, please gods, not that, not Spike." Giles dropped his head, tears falling again. "No, please gods, not Xander, not Spike, not a vampire, no, gods, he cannot have been turned." His head snapped back from the force of the slap.

"Oh, try to pull it together, Watcher. Whatever happened to all that stiff British inability to display emotion now? Been in the colonies too much, methinks. Yes, Spike. No, he hasn't been turned. Xander gave himself to Spike freely and Spike did the same. Spike loves him, would never turn him. Not that it matters now. Xander asked to be mine. Asked, Watcher, asked to be made mine. Asked. He is now part of my order, voluntarily joined. Spike couldn't turn him even if he would." A gentle smile now as she pictured her boys, spilled across Xander's bed, fast asleep, tangled together. The smile faded as she turned back.

"Dear merciful gods," Giles breathed out, torn between horror and awe. Spike, Xander and Kat. One family. Unstoppable. "Has Spike claimed him?"

"Yes. At Xander's request. Remember that, it was Xander who wished this. Nothing has been forced on him." She held his gaze, burning the truth into his mind.

"They will never understand," he felt his stomach clench, picturing Buffy's response to this. "They will never understand," feverishly repeated. "They will assume you've taken him captive, Mistress. That you forced him into this. They will try to get him back. You know Buffy will try to stake Spike."

"Know this, Watcher. They are mine now. Both of them. My kin. My order. My family. A hand raised to them is a hand raised to me. If any of them do a single thing to harm Alexander, I will declare war. Nothing less. This is your only warning. It is your duty to train her. To teach her. And if you have taught her only hate, if you have taught her only black and white, if you have failed to teach her nuance and change and redemption, if you have taught her nothing but that, then you shall reap what you have sown." Kat turned her back on him. "You shall live. For now. Control your Slayer, Watcher. If nothing else, teach her this. I am to be feared. If she can comprehend nothing else, teach her that." She moved to the front of the store, pausing for a moment in the door, backlit by the sun, a corona of light about her. "And tell the Council I want my book back." She left, slamming the door behind her.

Part Thirteen

Xander exhaled slowly, letting the air out through his nose. He squinted slightly, trying to close out the sounds around him. Focus, focus. The edges of his vision started to go black and he breathed slower and slower, willing his mind to maintain this edge. Focus. Focus. He started when he heard the door slam behind him.

"Damn it, Spike. I told you to be quiet." Kat hissed out, shooting Spike a nasty glare.

Xander shook his head, clearing the image from his mind. "I'm never going to get this." The frustration was apparent in his voice as he shifted on the cushions. "I'm just not any good at this." Another sigh of frustration as the candle blew out. "Don't even know why you're bothering, not like I pick things up quickly. Never good at learning anything." He started to reach out to light the candle again, only to have his wrist caught in Kat's hand.

"Stop that. Now. I'm sick of hearing you belittle yourself. Xander, we've only been working on this for a day and you're already able to start blocking the outside world. It's only been what, not even 48 hours since you've been able to tap your power. You're doing very well, much better than I ever expected." She released his wrist and took his chin in her hand, locking her eyes on his. "Alexander, you listen to me. Once you're able to control things a little more, I'm going in there and rooting out whatever this is that makes you think that you aren't special. God damn them for doing this to you." Her eyes flickered slightly and Xander could feel the restraint she was displaying in his bones.

Spike's hands dropped to Xander's shoulders as Kat sat back. He leaned down and dropped a quick kiss on Xander's forehead. "And then I'm going to do whatever it takes to make you realize that you're worthy of this."

Xander nodded, overwhelmed by their faith in him. He wasn't used to this, wasn't used to being around people who valued him for him. It was still shocking. Especially since he could tell they meant it. He closed his eyes, concentrating on feeling them in his mind. It was strange, having other people as a part of him. Strange and natural at the same time. It was like they occupied spaces he never knew were empty until they were filled. He bowed his head as he felt Spike's hands massaging his shoulders, relieving the stress that had built. He curled his thoughts around the sensation, letting a feeling of contentment wash through him, sending it to Spike, letting him know how good it felt, how it showed that Spike did love him, how these small gestures meant almost as much as the words.

"Xander," Spike's voice broke into the spell. "Bloody hell, can feel you," he stopped, unable to find the words.

"Xander," Kat's voice low in his ear. "That's it, just concentrate on Spike. Think about how this feels, how safe, keep that centered in your mind."

Xander nodded, the rest of the world slipping away, until nothing remained but Spike's hands, Spike's mind, the feeling of utter safety and contentment that came from being with his lover. Nothing remained but that. He was vaguely aware that Kat was moving next to him, that Spike had stepped back, but it didn't matter. He could still feel Spike there with him.

"Time to come back now," Kat's voice gentle in his ear. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes. Amazed, he stared at the clock. An hour had gone past without him realizing it. It felt like mere seconds.

"What, what was that?" He was a little frightened, how could he have lost so much time without realizing it?

"That was you concentrating. Think we've found an image for you to use as your touchstone. Should have thought of this sooner." Kat handed him a glass of water as he got to his feet, his legs stiff from sitting still for so long. She led him into the kitchen, Spike moving behind her, getting Xander some food. He took it gratefully, suddenly ravenous.

"Not too shabby for someone who thinks they can't pick up anything new," Kat settled down next to him at the table, Spike sliding a plate of pasta in front of her as well. "Not too shabby at all. Found your image, now just have to work on centering on that while still remaining in touch with the outside world." She twirled the noodles on her fork and took a bite.

"Why, what, I don't get it." Xander took another drink of water, hands shaking slightly. This was all still so hard to get used to, that he could feel what others were thinking and feeling. Frankly, it scared him a little. What if he got lost in someone else's mind?

"Have to find you a safe place, something that is absolutely yours, some image you can concentrate on to keep yourself whole." She turned to look at him, completely serious for once. "Xander, I'm not going to lie. Things are going to be very intense for a little while. Right now, if you're not careful, you are going to get overwhelmed by everyone else, especially when you touch them. So, this way, if you do, if you concentrate on Spike's touch, that will bring you back to yourself, will let you deal with what you are feeling."

Spike sat next to Xander, his mug of blood in his hand. "Don't want you going out without one of us with you for a little bit, luv. Don't want anything happening to you."

Xander merely nodded his assent. "I understand. Have to admit, it was a little wiggy when I stopped at work today to tell them I was quitting. Told them that I came into some money and everyone was really happy for me, but, well, it was weird, like I could see that no matter how happy they were, they were jealous too."

It was true, he left early that morning, reluctantly leaving the warm haven of his bed and Spike to give notice. It was the least he could do, they had been so good to him and he fully intended to work for the next two weeks. His boss was a little annoyed a first, assuming that Xander was taking another job. So Xander told him the partial truth, that he had come into some money and wouldn't need to work ever again. That produced hearty handshakes and backslaps all around, along with some good-natured teasing. But underneath it he could almost see the eddying currents of jealousy. Nothing was said and the happiness his friends at work displayed was overpowering the other. But it was still there. His boss scoffed at making him work the next two weeks. In exchange, Xander bought them all a huge lunch and promised to stop in to visit often. It was good to know that they really did like him there.

They ate companionably in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until the sudden trill of the phone interrupted the quiet. Xander grabbed the phone just before Spike did.

"Hello," Xander frowned at the phone. He didn't really feel like dealing with anyone else right now. He just wanted to stay here, in his house where he felt secure. Just stay here with Spike and maybe Kat a little too. Just enjoy what was now his before dealing with reality.

"Hey, Xander." Willow's cheery voice came down the line and he perked up a bit. Willow, well maybe he could deal with Willow. She would at least listen to him before freaking out. "How was your weekend away?"

"Good, had a really interesting time." He smiled into the phone at the inadequacy of the words. But what was he supposed to say "Oh, great, Wills, found out that I have special powers, had Kat make me immortal, found out that Spike and I share this cosmic bond, had him claim me too. And how was your weekend." No, that wouldn't go over too well.

"I'm glad. Listen, can you meet me for dinner tomorrow? Haven't really had a chance to just sit and catch up with you in awhile and I miss you." Willow bit down on her lip, hoping he wouldn't hear the desperation in her voice. She was really worried about him, he hadn't seemed like the old Xander in weeks.

"Umm, let me check, not sure if I'm supposed to be doing something tomorrow," Xander hit the mute button and turned back to Spike and Kat. "It's Willow, she wants me to meet her for dinner tomorrow. I kinda have to go. If I don't they'll just get suspicious again." Ever since that day they had pulled the scene on his front lawn, he had been careful to spend more time with them, going patrolling at least twice a week, calling Willow at least every other day, Buffy a few times a week. Enough to make sure that they left him alone.

"No," Spike's response was immediate. "Not going to let her give you shit, Xander." There was no way that Xander could hide the scar on his eyebrow. And the bite mark was still livid and bright.

"Have to. If I say no, then she'll just get insistent and will want to come over tonight. You know how she gets." Xander sighed, knowing he couldn't put this off.

"He's right, Spike. Tell you what, meet her at that Mexican place by the mall, I'll take you. If there's any problem, I'll come running." Kat squeezed Spike's hand. "You'll be fine, Xander."

He nodded and hit the button. "Nope, free tomorrow. How about Mexican? I'll meet you at that place by the mall, say 7:00?"

"Sounds good, Xander. Are you coming out with us tonight?" Willow chewed on her pencil, relieved that Xander agreed so easily.

"No, tired from the trip. See you tomorrow." He hung up quickly, not wanting to be questioned any more. He rested his head on the wall, not sure he was up to this.

"It'll be fine, Xander. I'll come over tomorrow afternoon and we can practice some more. Teach you how to call for me. That way, if it gets to be too much, I'll just come and get you." Kat took her plate to the sink, then gathered up her jacket. "I'm going to get going, I'm sure you two want to be alone." She kissed them both, then headed out. "Back around 2:00. Please be clothed."

They waved goodbye from the door and then moved back to sit on the couch. Spike immediately pulled Xander over, turning him so that his back rested on Spike's chest, Spike's chin on his shoulder.

"How are you really, Xander? I know this has to be overwhelming for you." Spike nuzzled Xander's neck slightly, just barely moving his lips on the skin. He just wanted to taste his lover, just a little, just enough to tell that Xander was his, was finally and totally his.

"I'm not sure." Xander picked up one of Spike's hands, turning it over to trace the lines on the palm. "It's like, all of a sudden I've been given everything I could want and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like, I can't really have it all without there being something nasty waiting in the wings to come and take it away. Like, oh, you can be with Spike forever but by the way, we're going to take your soul. Or, you can feel what everyone else is thinking but you won't be able to shut it out and you'll go insane. And then Spike will be left with another Dru."

Spike's grip on his waist tightened as he listened to the fear in Xander's voice. "It's not like that, you know that, don't you, Xander? She would never do that to you. She would never do that to me." Spike pressed a kiss into Xander's brow. "Have to stop expecting the worst, Xander. You do deserve this, you know." He couldn't keep the low rumble from escaping him. He hated this, he didn't know how to make Xander believe this was real, that he deserved all the good the world had to offer, all the good that Spike could possibly give him. He leaned back, moving them so that he was facing Xander.

"Is that not what you want," Spike forced himself to keep his voice steady. "If I'm not what you want, I can go, give you some time to get used to how things are now," his voice wavered, but he kept his gaze steady. "I know that I should have asked first, should have found out if this is what you wanted, forever is an awfully long time, I should never have presumed,"

The words were cut off by Xander's mouth on his. "Shut up. That's not what I meant. Or maybe exactly what I meant. I wanted to be yours. Forever. Was seriously considering asking Willow for the spell so that I could beg Kat to take the chip out, at least for a little bit so that you could turn me. Figured if you turned me then did the spell immediately, then I would still be me. Then we could have forever. That's what I wanted, that's what I've always wanted. Just can't believe I could have it without some nasty consequences." Xander leaned back in, dropping a kiss on the scar in Spike's eyebrow. "That's all I meant. Of course I want you."

Spike nodded back, relief washing over him. "Are going to be some consequences, you know. What the hell are you going to tell Red about the scar?" He ran a finger down it, smiling at the sight. He liked seeing this more than seeing his own mark, not that he would ever admit it. His mark just marked Xander as his. This marked Xander as his forever. Besides, it made him look even sexier than before. Spike licked his lips, arousal growing with every trace of his fingers on Xander's skin.

"The truth. Part of it anyway. Worry about that tomorrow." Xander ran the tip of his tongue along Spike's scar, feeling Spike's touch jitter on his face as he did so. He traced the scar again, slower this time, dragging out the motion, Spike's hand starting to shake on his skin. He moved down the side of Spike's face, trailing burning kisses along the clean line of his jaw. Spike shifted, dropping one leg to the floor, the other tucked behind Xander's back. Xander nestled in, pressing his chest into Spike's. He reached out, trailing one hand through the white hair while the other ran along Spike's thigh. He moved his mouth down to Spike's neck, biting a little more firmly now, raising tiny bruises that faced almost as quickly as they were formed. Spike's hands roamed over his back, fingers pressing them tightly together. He smiled, then bit down on Spike's neck, sucking as hard as he could, determined to place a more lasting mark there. A sharp hiss greeted his actions and he sucked harder.

"Xander," Spike groaned, forcing his eyes open. "Can we move this to the bed, more room there."

Xander didn't answer, he merely pulled back, then quickly stood, adjusting himself as he did so. He reached out a hand, pulling Spike with him, dragging Spike behind him as they made their way to the bedroom. He led Spike directly to the bed, then pushed the vampire back so that he was lying flat on his back.

"Gods, you're beautiful," Xander whispered into Spike mouth as he quickly unbuttoned Spike's shirt. "Wish you could see yourself, so beautiful," he felt Spike's hands pulling up his shirt and he reached a hand back, yanking it over his head and throwing it into the corner. Spike leaned up, working his arms out of his shirt as well. Xander threw that aside as well, then leaned back down, missing the feel of Spike's mouth on his. He collapsed onto Spike's chest, grateful as always that he didn't have to worry about crushing the vampire, that Spike's strength could easily support them both.

Spike turned them so that they were lying side by side, somehow managing to maintain contact with Xander's lips the entire time. Hands roamed over Xander's chest, mapping the hard planes, fingers playing with the nipples, teasing them to hard points. "Please," moaned into his ear as he bent a head to lap at a nipple. "Please," harsher now, Xander panting above him. He quickly unbuttoned Xander's jeans, relieving some of the pressure. He rolled Xander on his back, working his hands into the waistband of the jeans, slowly tugging them down, smiling smugly at finding no other fabric. "You've learned well, young padawan."

Xander's startled laughter distracted Spike enough to let Xander pop the buttons open on his jeans. "Had a good teacher, now didn't I?" Xander quickly stripped Spike of his t-shirt and jeans, running appreciative hands along the ridges of Spike's abdomen. He worked his own jeans off, then turned back to Spike, reaching up to grab the lube from next to the lamp. He opened the tube, then pressed it into Spike's hand, drawing his legs up on the bed as he did so, eyes darkening in anticipation.

Spike slowly coated his fingers, taking care to warm the gel before pressing into Xander's opening. He started a slow rhythm, letting Xander's body adjust, relishing the heat that surrounded him. Slowly, he added a second digit, spreading them slightly, moving in time to the low hums of pleasure coming from the body before him. He felt Xander's breathing begin to speed and he increased his pace, adding a third finger, then a fourth. They moved faster, Spike curling his fingers up and around, twisting and finding the gland as he did so. A loud moan greeted his actions and he repeated the action, smiling as he did so. He still couldn't tell what brought him the most pleasure, feeling Xander or watching Xander's reactions to his touch. He withdrew his fingers, coating his erection thoroughly then placing the tip at Xander's entrance.

"Ready, luv?" Xander merely hooked his legs over Spike's shoulders in reply, eyes closed in bliss. Spike slowly pushed his way in, moving carefully, not wanting to cause even the slightest hint of pain. Soon, he was completely enveloped, and he gave himself over the heat surrounding him, drowning in the sensation of being completely one with his love. Closing his eyes, he began to thrust, dragging out the motion, content to keep up the steady pace. He opened his eyes when he felt Xander's hand on his cheek.

"Spike, look at me," Xander panted out. Spike looked down, sucking in a breath at what he saw. All Xander felt was there in his eyes, his soul laid bare for Spike to see. He thrust harder, never losing sight of Xander's eyes. He could feel Xander inside him, could feel the love and need and want rush through his body. A sense of utter rightness struck him and he knew, he knew as surely as if it were his own thought that Xander wanted him, loved him, needed him, that forever wasn't enough, that nothing, nothing would ever be enough. That there were no words to explain, no touch intimate enough, nothing would ever be enough, they could never be close enough.

"Xander, love you," Spike panted out, leaning down to kiss along the golden skin of Xander's neck. He felt a hand press between their bodies as Xander began to stroke himself.

"Please, do it. Bite me, William, please," frantic in his ear. He shuddered, then let his fangs drop down, tracing them over Xander's neck. No pain. No pain. Slowly, he sank them into Xander's neck, biting back into his mark, parting the flesh once again. He drank in time to their thrusts, tasting their essences mixed together. He raised his head as orgasm struck, unable to speak, unable to feel anything but their blood moving in his veins, feeling Xander shudder beneath him, joining him in bliss. He collapsed down, burying his head in Xander' neck, idly lapping up the blood that still oozed out.

"So, guess the exception still holds," Xander managed to get out. He could still feel Spike in his veins, could still feel their unity even now. He shuddered slightly. Gods, it felt better than anything he could ever imagine.

"Guess so, pet." Spike shifted slightly, pulling out as he did so. They both groaned at the loss of contact. He nestled back down, idly cleaning Xander with the sheet as he did so. He propped himself up on an elbow, tracing Xander's lips with his other hand. "You called me William."

Xander just smiled into Spike's touch. "Yeah, why, don't you like it?" He sighed happily as Spike settled onto his chest.

"No, like it very much. Makes me feel like I'm whole." Spike muttered, drifting off to sleep. "Like I'm complete."

"Me too," Xander replied sleepily, drifting away himself. "Me too."

Xander ran a nervous hand through his hair for the tenth time in the fast five minutes. Kat reached over and squeezed his hand gently. "It's going to be just fine." She turned back to watching the road, leaving her hand in his. "Just remember, if things get too intense, just close your eyes, concentrate on picturing my face, and say that you need me to come. I'll be right there. I'm just going to be at the bar anyway, so you can always just come and get me yourself."

"I know, don't know why I'm so nervous, I mean, I know Willow, she just wants the best for me, I know that she'll at least listen." Xander looked out the window, battling back his nervousness. It was only dinner with Willow, after all. He looked into the mirror, running a finger along the bite mark on his neck. He supposed he could have worn something to cover it, but he didn't really want to, they would all find out soon enough no matter what he did. And besides, he was proud of it.

She pulled in, parked and they got out of the car. Xander took her hand again as they entered the restaurant, slightly ashamed at needing the reassurance, but needing it nonetheless. He walked her over to the bar, then took a deep breath and turned to find Willow.

"Xander, don't worry, you'll be fine." He heard her voice quietly call to him as he turned away. He nodded as he walked into the restaurant, steeling his spine as he did so. He quickly spotted the back of Willow's head. She was sitting in a booth and he made his way over, taking deep breaths as he did so.

"Hey, Wills," he sat down across from her, then went still when he saw who was sitting next to her. "Buffy, what are you doing here?" He couldn't stop the displeasure from creeping into his voice.

"Willow said you were meeting for dinner so I figured I would tag along," Buffy looked up at him, then went perfectly still. "Xander, what is that on your eyebrow?"

Willow simply stared at him, mouth open in shock. "Xander, please tell me that's not a bite mark on your neck."

Buffy glared at him, then pulled out a stake. "So, that's how it is. Lying to us the whole time, weren't you. Gods, how could you be so stupid."

"That's enough, both of you. It's not like that," Xander felt his cheeks flush as the anger built inside him. "First, of all, yes, that is a bite mark. And before you ask, yes, Spike gave it to me. But he didn't turn me so you can just put that stake away, Buffy. Second, that thing in my eyebrow is a scar. Pretty sure you know what it means by now."

Silence fell as their waitress brought over the menus. "I'll have a vodka rocks, Skye if you've got it." He knew he would need the alcohol to try to get through this.

"So, what does this mean, Xander. Just what the hell are you thinking, I knew that they had some kind of control over you." Buffy tried to keep her voice low, but the hiss sounded sharply in Xander's ear. "Why on earth would you let Spike bite you, you know how dangerous he is."

"Xander, I have to agree. Just because he's got the chip," Willow's forehead crinkled at those words. "Wait a minute. How could Spike bite you if he still has the chip. Oh, goddess, he got the chip out, Buffy, he got the chip out, Xander why didn't you say something," Willow's voice grew higher and higher, panic starting to tinge her words. She started to stand. "Buffy, we have to go find him, if he got the chip out."

"Sit down, Willow." He put as much authority as he could muster into the words, faintly surprised when Willow sank back down. "No, he didn't get the chip out. He was able to bite me because I asked him to, because I wanted him to." He smiled up at the waitress as she brought their drinks, then took a fortifying swallow. "He bit me because I asked him to claim me." He watched their eyes go wide in shock.

"Claim you, but vampires only do that to their mates," Willow said slowly. "Xander, Xander, what are you saying, you and Spike?"

"Gods, no, Xander." Buffy looked at him, disgust plain on her face. "C'mon this is some kind of sick joke. Not funny, Xander, not funny at all."

"Not a joke. I'm with Spike. Have been for a few months now. I love him. He loves me." Xander took another drink, then forged on into the shocked silence. "Oh please, don't act all shocked. Of course," he turned to Buffy, an ironic smile on his face. "Owe you an apology for being so nasty to you about Angel." His voice shook a little when he said the name, but he forged ahead. "Guess this is kind of amusing, now it's my turn to have the undead lover." His smile widened as he thought about how he left Spike sitting on the kitchen counter, obsessively smoking and muttering low threats about what he would do if Xander came home upset.

"Fuck you, Xander. This is nothing like that. Angel had a soul. Angel loved me. Spike's just playing some sick mind game with you." Buffy leaned over the table, her eyes blazing. "Don't you dare compare that fiend to my Angel. Angel would never do any of the things Spike's done. And you know that."

It took everything in him not to slap her. "You know, Buff, it must be nice to be so naïve. Spike wasn't the only one called the Scourge of Europe you know. Besides, if you knew some of what I know, think it would change your mind. Tell you what, why don't you call your precious Angel and ask him just what he did to make Kat declare revenge on him. Might be surprised. Or did you just assume that she was evil and was going after him for no reason?" He turned back to Willow, a little concerned at how quiet she was. "Willow, awfully quiet, don't you have anything to say?"

Willow looked at him, tears in her eyes. "Why do you have the scar? Did she mark you, did she make you be hers? Do you know what it means, it means you are her slave. Xander, what have you done?" Willow's cry carried through the restaurant and every head turned in their direction.

"Not like that. I asked her to do it. She didn't make me do anything. I asked them both. Can't you guys give me any credit, you're acting like they brainwashed me or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. I asked. I wanted this. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life." His voice started to shake as they simply stared at him, their faces implacable. "Fuck, do you both really think I'm that easy to sway? Just what the hell do you think I am, some kind of fool."

"No, not a fool, but, Xander, you have to admit, you have been used in the past. And they're evil, I mean, can't you see that?" Willow reached over to him, trying to take his hands.

Xander flinched back when she touched him, her emotions washing over him suddenly, too suddenly. He took a deep breath, focusing on sorting out what he felt. Fear, anger, betrayal, confusion. He closed his eyes briefly, frantically sorting out the rest. Pity and hatred for Spike. But no trust. No trust. Not for Spike. Not for Kat. And not for him. He opened his eyes and dropped her hand. "Is that true, Wills? Is it? You don't know Kat, you only know what Giles has told you. And as for Spike, let me ask you this, when was the last time he had to be threatened into helping us? You know, that's one of the first things I noticed when Spike and I started to become friends. That it had been months since we had to threaten him or pay him. Months upon months. Spike had been helping us because he wanted to, not because we were making him. For hells sake, once he realized that he could hurt demons don't you think he could have moved on? But he didn't, he stayed. And none of you ever bothered to find out why."

"Xander, please, whatever it is they've done to you, we'll be able to fix it. You can't honestly believe that Spike is of the good." Buffy shook her head, sighing as she did so. "Whatever mess you've gotten yourself into, we'll get you out of it."

"Buffy, what makes you think this is some mess. I'm happy. I'm whole. I want this. I want Spike. I want to be part of Kat's family. Can't you just be happy for me?" He shook his head as the waitress hovered at the table. "Still need some time, thanks."

"Happy for you? Happy for you? You're hanging out with a vampire and someone who Giles call the Executioner and you want me to be happy?" Buffy flushed, leaning back against the booth. "Not going to happen, Xander. Now come on, let's go, get you back to the Magic Box, get Giles and do the research thing and we'll have you back to yourself in no time. Willow, move, let's get going."

"No." Xander pounded down the last of his drink, hoping that would help take the edge off his anger. "You know, Buffy, it must be nice to see things so clearly. Of course, don't remember you being this way about Angel." He held up a hand, cutting off her furious response. "And don't even start with the whole 'But he had a soul' thing. Trust me, it's no different with Spike. Everyone changes. We've changed. So has Spike. And as far as Kat being the Executioner, have you ever bothered to ask why she would kill the Watchers? Think about it. People are usually executed for some crime. But you've never even thought to ask. You know, things usually aren't as simple as they seem. Gods, not everything is black and white all the time. Spike will never hurt me. He would stake himself before he hurt me."

"Xander, you can't know that," Willow looked at him, tears in her eyes. "You know that if he gets the chip out he'll turn you. You know that, right?"

"No. He won't. Can't actually, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm with Spike. You can accept it or you can't. Simple as that." Xander stared at them, growing weary of the fight. He could see that they weren't going to accept this, weren't even going to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Look guys, don't make me choose. Because you won't like the choice."

Buffy looked at him, distaste burning in her eyes. "So that's how it is? You'll just turn your back on us, go off and play with your demon." She looked over at Willow who had tears streaming down her face. "You'll hurt your oldest friend. For what? A soulless demon who is just using you. Fine, if that's what you want, just go ahead. Don't come running back to us when it goes bad though. You make this choice, you make it for good."

"Fine." Xander rose, tossing a few bills on the table. "Here, have dinner on me. By the way, Buffy, Willow, I always wondered just what you thought of me. Guess I just found out. Have a nice life. Willow, call me if you want. Buffy, you can go to hell." He turned on his heel and walked away, seeing Kat standing at the entrance, eyes dark. He simply walked out the door, not looking back.

Willow turned to Buffy, her breath hitching as she struggled to breathe through her sobs. "Buffy, please, why did you have to be so harsh?"

Buffy just pushed her as she struggled to get out of the booth. "Harsh? I wasn't harsh enough. But something is going on. Let's go find Giles, have to figure out some way to break whatever spell they have on Xander. Then I'm going to hunt Spike down and stake him, should have done it a long time ago." She pulled Willow after her, focused on nothing but the hate rising inside her.

Part Fourteen

Xander stared out the window, vaguely registering the trees passing in a blur. He was still shaky, still on edge. He had really done it, he had really just turned his back on the people who had for all intents and purposes been his family for the last eight years or so. And he had done it without even thinking twice. He rested his head on the window, closing his eyes at the sharp pang twisting his gut. The pain was all jumbled together, pain at losing his friends, pain at their complete lack of faith in him, pain at the look that crossed Willow's face as he walked away. Just pain.

But he had done the right thing. Of that he had no doubt. He knew the moment that Buffy had started in on how he must be brainwashed or under some spell that he would be walking away. It was almost like his life before was nothing but a dress rehearsal for what his life was going to be now. Before, he thought he had friends who loved him, who cared about him, who accepted him for who he was. But now he knew that he was loved, knew that he was accepted, knew that he was wanted just for himself. So he hadn't even thought about it, he just got up and walked away. Sure, he left the door open for Willow, he would always leave a door open for Willow. But as for the rest, well, if that's what they thought of him, then he was better off without them. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

He came back to himself when her hand reached over and took his, squeezing gently, then letting go. A trickle of warmth crept up his arm and he opened his eyes, turning slightly to catch the quick glint of tears on her cheek.

"Hey, don't, they're not worth it," Xander swiped his thumb along her cheek, wiping the dampness away. "Besides, you're driving. Really need you to be able to see the road."

Kat snorted as she reached over to the phone, fingers automatically dialing the number. "First, you think they're worth it and that's all that matters. Second, trust me, I'm a much better driver than either of you. At least I'm not trying to drive and have sex at the same time."

Xander laughed as he heard the ringing over the speaker. "We did that once. Well, twice. Well, fine, the last three times that Spike was driving."

"And that's why neither of you get to drive the Rover any more. Do you know the guy at the detailing place personally thanked me for putting his kids through college?"

Xander just laughed harder, then tried to grab the phone out of the cradle when he heard Spike's voice.

"Xander, Kat, hells, where are you, everything fine, are you on your way home?" Spike's voice sounded even more tense coming through tinny on the speaker.

"Spike, me. Did you get that stuff together?" Kat slapped Xander's hand away and picked up the phone, frowning slightly as she tried to balance it between her shoulder and ear while turning at the same time.

"Yeah, take it that it went just how you expected," Spike leaned back, kicking his boot against the wall. "Shit, how is he?"

"Much better than I thought. Didn't call for me at all. Pack up and meet us there, think it'll be safer that way. Better get going, I'm fairly certain that they'll just head back to the Magic Box but there's no reason to take any chances. I'll swing back tomorrow and grab anything you left." Kat sighed, not happy at all that she was right.

"Right. Let me talk to him for a mo, then out the door." Spike pushed off the wall and paced over to the small collection of suitcases and duffel bags next to the door. "Sun'll be down by then."

"Sure, we'll be there before you. Meet you at the end of the driveway." She handed the phone to Xander, turning back to watch the road. "Here, wants to talk to you."

Xander grabbed the phone, speaking before it was even to his ear. "Spike, hey, should be home soon." He looked up, realizing they were heading away from his house. "Hold on." He placed a hand over the phone, turning to ask her just where they were going.

"Going to my place, safer there. Talk to Spike, then I'll explain." She stared straight ahead and Xander raised the phone back to his lips.

"I'm back," he started only to be immediately cut off.

"Xander, are you all right, didn't do anything did they, if they hurt you," a low growl in his ear and he let out a long sigh.

"Went pretty horrible. Slayer wouldn't even listen to me, she was convinced you and Kat were using some kind of Jedi mind trick. And Willow was obsessed with the concept that the chip was out. Didn't listen to a word I said. Of course, that's nothing new." A bitter laugh at that and he heard the snarling coming from the other end. "But it's over now. They can't hurt me anymore."

"Better not, luv. If they do, they better hope she gets there before I do." Spike forced the rage into the back of his mind, not wanting to upset Xander any further. "Gotta go, pet, have some stuff to do. See you in a bit. Not letting you out of my sight after that."

Xander smiled slightly at the possessive tone. Like he would object to that. "See you soon." He hung up, resting the phone back in the cradle. "Um, why aren't we going back to the house?"

She made the turn onto the road leading to her house. "My place. I think it's best you guys move in with me, at least for the time being. You know your friends, Xander, if they think you're in danger they are going to come for you. And you know that Buffy is going to come for Spike." The words were calm, but Xander could feel her quiet rage burning inside him.

"I know, but I can take care of myself." It came out slightly more bitter than he meant it, but he was getting too tired to hold back.

"Not saying you can't, I know you can. I just don't want you to be put in the position of having to fight them. If everyone would just step back and calm down, I'm sure that you all will calm down. Then maybe you can try again." She turned up the driveway, pulling around and parking facing the road.

"Don't want to try again, they made it clear where they stood." Xander leaned back, tilting his head back to rest. He was tired, it had been a very long day.

"You might feel that way now, but, trust me, you don't want to leave things like this. They are yours friends and they are your family and you don't just want to walk away like this." Kat rested her forehead on the steering wheel, clenching and unclenching her hands. They were sore from holding the wheel so tight, sore from gripping so hard as she restrained her thoughts. Xander wasn't nearly strong enough yet to feel how worried she had been for him.

"How can you defend them, fuck, you have no idea what they were saying, they didn't even want to try to understand," Xander bolted upright, his voice ringing in his ears. "Don't make excuses, you have no idea what it was like, having to listen to them belittle everything that means anything to me, you have no clue how much it hurt." He stopped as she turned, eyes blazing in the night.

"Yes, I do and I'm not defending them. I'm just saying that they've been a very important part of your life for a long time, they're part of what makes you what you are and you shouldn't give up so easily." Kat placed a hand on his arm as he opened his mouth again. "I'm not saying to call Willow right now or to go hang with them at the Magic Box. Just don't give up so easily. They need a little time to get adjusted to the idea. I mean, you weren't so understanding about the whole Angel thing after all."

"It's not the same," he paused, shaking his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "How can you even compare this to that, can't believe you would do that, not the same at all."

"But it is to them. Talk about this later, Spike's here." She smiled as Xander practically fell out when he yanked the door open, stumbling over his own feet as he ran to Spike's car.

"Giles, Giles," Buffy hollered as she ran into the store.

"Good heavens, Buffy, what is it?" Giles looked up from his book. His eyes widened in shock as Buffy skidded to a stop in front of him, Willow just a moment behind.

"Xander. They've done something to Xander. We just had dinner with him and he was saying all these weird things," Buffy panted, trying to catch her breath. "And when we tried to help he just stomped out. Giles, something strange is going on, have to figure it out."

Giles set his book down, clearing his throat as he did so. "Could you be a little more specific, Buffy? This is Xander, he usually acts a little strange."

"No, Giles, this was different. He had a scar in his eyebrow like Spike's and a bite, a bite mark on his neck, said it was Spike's. He said that Spike claimed him. Oh, Giles, he was acting so strange," Willow sank into a chair, voice cracking.

"Oh, dear." Giles automatically reached up for his glasses. He should have known that they would find out sooner rather than later.

"Oh, dear? That's all you can say, how about, oh no, or I know just what books to look in to break the hold they have." Buffy paced back and forth, turning a stake over and over in her hands.

"Buffy, please, please, sit down for a moment, I need, there's something that I need to discuss with you." He gestured to the seat next to Willow, moving from behind the counter. Buffy sat down with a huff and Giles pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to gather his strength. This was not going to go well.

"What exactly did Xander say, where were you?" There, stall for a moment, give him some time to gauge just how much he would have to say.

"I, I asked him to come to dinner, I wanted to talk to him, haven't seen him much and I missed him. Told Buffy and she came along. Met at the Mexican place he likes by the mall. Saw the scar and the bite, bite mark as soon as he sat down. He said that he was with Spike, that he loved Spike, that Spike loved him and that he asked Kat to make him hers. Then Buffy said that we would help him, help him get away from them and he got all mad and he told Buffy not to make him choose and then, then he left." Willow let the words out in a rush, looking up to see Tara come in the door. She instantly stood, moving to take Tara's hand.

"Yeah, Giles, he was acting all creepy, do you know what they've done to him? Not that it really matters, but I would rather make sure he's fine before I stake Spike." Buffy drummed her fingers on the table, ready to get to work.

"Buffy," Giles settled next to her. "Willow, Tara, can you come over here, please? I only want to have to explain this once." The witches obediently came over, hearing the stress in his voice.

"First, I want to say that I understand how concerned you are. It is only to be expected. But you have to pay close attention to what I am about to tell you." He took a quick drink from his mug of tea. Stalling again. He locked eyes with his charge, trying to pin her with his gaze. "Xander is not under anyone's influence." He raised his hand as Buffy and Willow started to speak. "Be still and listen, just this once. It is imperative that you listen to me." He waited as they settled back, Buffy blowing a hair off her face with a grimace. "Xander is not under anyone's influence," he spoke slowly emphasizing the words. "He has chosen this freely. And we must accept his decision. He has chosen to be with Spike and we must accept that."

Buffy jumped up from the table, anger rippling across her face. "Giles, have you lost your mind? They did something to him, they must have. There is no way that Xander would be with Spike voluntarily, you know how much he hated when I was with Angel, you can't seriously believe that he's with Spike. For hells sake, Xander isn't even gay." Her voice rose on that and she stalked over, leaning into Giles. "There is something going on."

"No, Buffy, there isn't." Giles leaned back but kept his eyes locked with Buffy's. "They've been growing closer and closer over the last year or so, surely, surely you noticed that?" He raised his eyebrows forcing her to lean back.

"Well, yeah, sure, but that doesn't mean anything. Xander was just lonely after Anya left him and Spike took advantage of that." Willow sat down again, pulling Tara next to her. "And he would have told me if he and Spike were together, we tell each other everything."

"Willow, I'm sure, I'm sure that he would do so," Giles chose his words carefully, attempting to keep his voice steady. "But perhaps he was just afraid of your reaction, afraid that precisely this would occur."

"No," Buffy leaned on the counter. "That's not it. They did something to him, Giles, I just know it. And the sooner we quit arguing about it, the sooner we can rescue him." She turned and began gathering herbs from the shelf behind her. "Probably going to need some of this. Tara, can you tell me what this does?"

"Buffy, put that down, please. And listen to me. Xander is not under some spell. He and Spike are together. You must accept that. You asked him to accept you and Angel, now it's your turn." Giles stared at the ceiling, hoping that she would quiet, that he would not be forced to explain further.

"Gods, why does everyone keep saying that, Angel wasn't evil. Spike is. Besides, that still doesn't explain why he would ask her to mark him. Why would he do that, Giles, seriously, what's up with that?" Buffy continued to mill about, pulling volumes down from the shelves.

"I'm not quite sure, but he did so. And there's nothing to be done about it. Now, we can either accept how things are or we can make things hard on all involved." Giles moved behind her, placing the books back as quickly as she pulled them down.

"But, Giles, that makes him her slave, you can't mean that, we have to save him," Willow's hoarse cry reached his ears.

"He's, he's not her slave," Giles bent his head, knowing he had to reveal at least some of the truth. "I spoke with her yesterday. Xander asked her to mark him, asked her to, to make him part of her family. She did so. If the claim is made voluntarily, then Xander is not her slave. He is her family."

"You talked to her, you knew this and you didn't say anything," Buffy glared at him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was hoping to have a chance to talk to him before you found out, I wanted to be sure of what happened before things got to this point." He sighed again.

"Giles, why are you acting like this, you said that she was dangerous, and yet you're just going to let her take Xander away, are you afraid of her or something?" Buffy was outraged, this wasn't like the Giles she knew.

"Yes, I am afraid of her. And you should be as well. Do you understand what it means for her to have taken Xander as hers? Do you, Buffy? It means that she views him as an extension of her, that any harm that comes to him will be viewed as harm to her. Buffy, if you heed nothing else I tell you, heed this. You will not go after Spike. You will not try to fix whatever you believe is wrong with Xander. If you do so, she will destroy you without a moment's hesitation." He turned to look at each in turn, attempting to impress the urgency of this on them. "I am quite serious about this. If you do anything to harm Xander, anything in any way, then she will declare war on us all. And she will kill you. If she's feeling generous. Otherwise, otherwise, well, you really don't want to know what she will do if she is angered."

"You just want us to do nothing," Buffy whispered, mouth open in shock.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Buffy." He moved back over and reached for his tea.

"You want me to leave my friend to the mercy of an evil vampire and someone you call the Executioner. You just want me to do nothing. Don't think so, Giles." She started to walk towards the door. "I'll just go over there and see if I can't talk some sense into him." She stopped, stunned by Giles' sudden grip on her arm.

"Buffy, you cannot do that. Besides, if Spike has claimed Xander, then you do not have to worry about him causing Xander harm. Not since the Mistress has made him part of her family." She turned at the words, frowning up at him.

"Better explain that, because I'm not feeling better here." Buffy let her lead him back over to the table.

"You said that Xander said he loved Spike and that Spike loved him. If that's true, and I have every reason to believe it is from what the Mistress said to me, then Spike would rather die than let any harm come to Xander. Any harm. Including from himself. And as a member of the Mistress's order, Xander would have additional protection from harm. So if you're concerned that Spike is going to turn him, well, he can't." Giles watched them closely, Buffy's face implacable, Tara's confused and understanding slowly creeping across Willow's face.

"That's what Xander said, that Spike couldn't. But, but, it still doesn't explain why, I mean, why would she do that, even if he asked?" Willow squeezed Tara's hand, feeling only slightly better.

"I don't know." He turned back to Buffy. "Perhaps it is a little much to ask you to accept this now. However, I cannot stress this enough. You cannot take any action against Spike, Buffy. Nor can you try to fix whatever you think is wrong with Xander. That will only lead to disaster."

"But, Giles," Buffy started, only to be cut off by Giles' raised hand.

"Promise me that, Buffy. That you won't do anything. I am quite serious, she will kill you. And you cannot defeat her. You have to promise me that you will do nothing." He watched until he saw her reluctant nod. "Good, now, help me put all these things away." They moved around the store, quietly rearranging everything, tension humming in the air.

"Angel, Angel," Cordelia's hesitant voice sounded outside the door. Angel was still locked in the room, but she could hear him moving around. That was an encouraging sign. "Angel, Giles is on the phone, he says that it's important." She held the phone in her hand, unsure if he would open the door.

"What does he want?"

The voice was husky and flat, but Cordy felt her heart leap at hearing him speak.

"Not sure, he said that it was very important, something about Spike and Xander," she jumped back as he yanked open the door. She smiled up at him as she handed him the phone. "Here. And when you're done talking to him, you might want to consider showering, your hair looks terrible." She turned away, trying to hide her happiness at finally seeing his face. He was pale and his hair was ruffled, but he seemed sane and calm and that was more than she had ever hoped.

"Giles, what's going on? Did something happen?" He ran a hand distractedly through his hair, wincing when he felt the knots.

"Yes, sorry to bother you, but there is something that you need to know. Xander came back from L.A. this last weekend bearing the marks of both Spike's claim and the Mistress's order." The voice was strained and Angel shot a glance to the clock. 2:30 a.m. He wondered vaguely what Cordelia was doing there, then went still, fully taking his surroundings. Wesley and Gunn were curled up on the floor, nestled into one another, an ax lying next to Gunn's hand. A sleeping bag was spread in front of his door, still warm from Cordelia's body. It was clear that she was guarding his door to keep Wesley and Gunn from forcibly entering. His heart twisted a little and he made a silent vow to thank her later. He had a feeling that he would be buying her shoes for the next several months.

His head snapped up when the full impact of Giles' words hit him. "Spike claimed him. Katarina made him family."

"Yes." Giles rubbed a hand across his face. "Is there something you know about this, Angel? Quite frankly, I'm at a bit of a loss. I've never heard of anything like this, and I don't know how to feel. Other than afraid. She made sure of that. She paid me a little visit the other day, let me know that if we harmed Xander she would declare war. She was rather, rather emphatic on that point." He swirled the glass, watching the Scotch coat the sides.

Angel's grip on the phone tightened as the competing waves of emotion tore through him. "Well, I saw them at a party this weekend. She made it clear that Spike and Xander were together and that she would protect Xander, but," he closed his eyes, thinking back. "But, Xander didn't have the scar, no bite mark, must have happened after I saw them. Giles, if she's really taken him as her own, you do know what that means?" He leaned into the wall, knees going weak. Spike had finally found his mate, and Katarina had given them forever. The depth of his loss started to seep into him and it was all he could do to resist the urge to go back into his room.

"Yes. Xander has finally come into his power." The words shocked him and his head snapped back up.

"Spike is his true mate. Dear gods." Angel felt the smile cross his face. No wonder they looked so happy. The smile held for a moment. His childe had finally found his mate, finally found the missing part to make him whole. The part that Angelus could never fill. He pulled himself back to the matter at hand. "And Katarina made him hers. Giles, he's immortal now, you do know that?"

"What?" Angel heard the shattering of the glass and the muffled curse that followed.

"He's immortal. Well, not exactly, but the only way that he can die is if the three of them decide that is to be so. And since Spike has claimed him, then he and Spike are bound together. That means Spike can't be killed either." He breathed out, jealousy now coming to the fore. Her family. She had indeed finally completely taken what was his. Guilt followed immediately thereafter. No less than he deserved. Underneath still was the lingering happiness. His childe was safe. His childe would live.

"I didn't know, I had no idea," Giles was back, his voice shaking slightly. "I've never heard of an Ancient taking a human into their order."

Angel frowned at that. "Neither have I. But you know that she is different. The rules that govern the others mean nothing to her. Besides, she has never taken anyone other than Spike."

"Dear lord, I had no idea. Angel, Buffy and Willow know, they met Xander for dinner tonight and saw the scar. Needless to say, they had a bit of a fight. Buffy is convinced that Xander is under some kind of spell, I tried, I tried to warn her not to do anything. The Mistress came to me the day they came back and warned me that if anything were to happen to Xander then she would declare war. I told Buffy, but, well, I'm not sure she will listen." Angel felt his blood run cold at that.

"Giles, what do you think she's going to do?" He stood up, moving into his room to gather his coat, looking for his keys as he did so.

"I don't know. But when I locked up tonight, some books were gone. I'm afraid that she and Willow will try something foolish." Giles leaned his head back on the couch. The constant fear was causing his muscles to ache.

"I'm coming up there, maybe I can talk some sense into her." Angel found his keys and then headed out the door. "And if not, maybe I can help you stop her before she does something foolish."

"Thank you, Angel." Giles heard the click as Angel hung up, glad that he hadn't had to ask.

Buffy's eyes narrowed as she approached Giles' apartment, Slayer senses tingling. There was a vampire here, somewhere, she could have sworn it was on the other side of the door, but that wasn't possible, Giles wasn't that foolish. She knocked, keeping a wary eye behind her.

"Buffy, thank you for coming over," Giles stepped back and Buffy entered.

"Sure thing, Giles, did you know that there's a vamp somewhere around here? Can sense him," she ground to a halt as Angel stepped out of the kitchen.

"Buffy, good to see you." He looked horrible, slightly pale, hair not quite right. She could have sworn he looked like he hadn't been sleeping.

"Angel, what's going on? Is everything okay, did Cordy have another vision?" She tried to force her heartbeat to slow, hating the involuntary flush that came across her every time she saw him.

"No, Giles called me, told me what's going on with Xander. Buffy, please I need to talk to you, there are some things that you need to know." He didn't take a step towards her, but Buffy felt herself pulled towards him all the same.

"Angel, what would you know about this?" She sat on the couch as Angel moved to sit next to her, careful to stay some distance apart.

"I know that you think Xander is under some kind of spell or something and I know that no matter what warning Giles gave you that you are going to try to do something about it. You can't, it's far too dangerous." Angel looked down at his hands, not wanting to see her face. This was going to be hard enough without watching her.

"Why are you all being this way, am I the only one who can see what's going on?" Buffy shook her head in frustration.

"Buffy, please listen to me for a moment. I know her, I've known her since a few years after I was turned. If she's taken Xander as her own and you do anything to him, anything at all, then she won't rest until she's avenged." A bitter smile crossed his mouth. "Trust me, she knows about revenge."

"What would you know about it? And why would you be so calm about Spike, I don't understand any of you." Buffy reached out, trailing a hand down Angel's arm. "I understand that it must be hard for you to know that Spike's done this to Xander, but he has, and he has to pay the price."

"Damn it, Buffy, listen for once." Angel pulled away and crossed the room, he couldn't do this if she was touching him. "Look, I did something to her once, I took something that was hers and I am still paying the price. No less than I deserve, I admit. But, still, I don't want you to go through that. Believe me, she won't let any harm come to Xander, if Xander asked to be made hers, then Xander will never come to harm, she'll see to that. You have to let this go."

"No, why do you let her walk all over you, what could you possibly have done to make you accept this? Angel, I know sometimes you let guilt overwhelm you, but, please, she's evil. Spike's evil. And they've done something to Xander. I can save him." Buffy looked up at him, confusion clear.

"I told you, I took what was hers. And if you try to take what's Spike's, well, she won't react very well to that." Angel stared at the floor, fervently wishing she wouldn't ask, she wouldn't demand to know.

"What hold does she have on you, gods, Angel, stop sticking up for her. You didn't really come all the way up from L.A. just to lecture me did you." Buffy tapped her foot, impatience growing.

"I'm not sticking up for her, I'm warning you. Do not make her angry. She will destroy you." Angel met her eyes. "And she's not evil. She simply is. Just as Spike's not merely evil, hells, he's more human than most humans I know. And if he has claimed Xander it was because Xander asked him. I know my childe. He would never just take him." Besides I saw how Xander looked at him. He wanted to say it, but couldn't, not wanting to inflame her further.

"That still doesn't explain why you're kissing her ass, Angel. This isn't like you, what did you do?" Buffy fiddled with one of the sofa cushions, wishing Giles would come back from the kitchen. Things were just a little too intense whenever they were alone.

"I killed her mate." Angel stared straight at the wall, ignoring her gasp. "I took him and turned him the night before their wedding. She came for him. I made her beg, I made her get on her knees and promise me the world. She did it, she bowed to me, and then I pushed him back into her arms and then I staked him and watched him turn to ash in her hands." He forced himself on, forced the words out of his mouth. "I left her there. It took her three years, but she hunted me down. She is the one who had me cursed. She's the one who altered it so that if I ever experienced a moment of true happiness I would lose my soul again. And I deserved it. I still deserve it."

Buffy jumped to her feet, moving directly in front of him, placing herself directly in her line of sight. "She did this to you, she cursed you, she's the one who did this, she's the one who caused you to lose your soul again?" She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. "And you want me to leave her alone? After she's tried to destroy you, after she's taken up with Spike, after they've fucked with Xander? You want me to walk away? I don't think so, Angel." She pressed a hand to his cheek and then walked out the door. "Don't worry, I'll take care of her for you." She pulled the door shut behind her, running down the hall, ignoring Angel's calls behind her. How dare they try to stop her, they were all insane. She was going to get Xander back, then she was going to get revenge for Angel. It was the least she could do.

"Buffy, Buffy, no wait," Angel slumped in hall, watching her disappear into the light. "This is going to be bad."

Giles joined him, nodding. "Yes. Please stay, I'll need the help."

"Do you have any blood?" Angel sighed, following Giles back into the apartment.

One week later

Xander whistled happily, moving quickly down the aisle. It was the first time that Spike and Kat had let him out without one of them and he had to admit he was enjoying it. Not that he didn't love them both, but he now knew where Spike got his overpossessive streak from. They hadn't let him out of his sight and it was driving him nuts. He finally managed to whine his way into going to the store to pick up some milk and ice cream. He hadn't heard from the gang, hadn't seen them and he wasn't worried that they were going to do anything. Buffy might be impetuous, but she wasn't stupid. He whistled while he shopped, he whistled as he stood in line, he whistled as he made his way to the car. He was still whistling when Buffy hit him in the back of the head with the board.

He came back to consciousness slowly, head pounding. He tried to sit up, only to find that he couldn't. He turned his head slowly from side to side, the gag chafing his mouth. He was tied to something, it looked like a stone table of some kind. He was outside, in one of the cemeteries, it looked like. He could hear Willow and Tara chanting, could feel Buffy running a hand through his hair.

"Don't worry, Xander, we'll have you fixed up in no time." Buffy's voice sounded in his ear and he went still in shock. They were going to do something, try to do something, try to take him away.

"No." He thought he was screaming but he couldn't tell, couldn't hear himself through the rush of blood in his ears. "No." He closed his eyes and fell back into himself, yanking the trace of Spike and Kat to the forefront of his mind.

"Help, please, Spike, please help, take me from you," he chanted the words in his mind, stretching out, trying to touch them, trying to pull them to him. His eyes rolled back and he shook, straining for their touch.

"Giles, what are we doing here," Angel asked, casting a worried glance behind him. The sun had set a short time before and he was on the lookout for trouble. It was never good to be in one of Sunnydale's cemeteries after dark.

"Not quite sure, Buffy just asked us to meet her here, said it was important. Over here." Giles led the way up the hill, halting in amazement at what they saw. Xander was strapped to a stone table, bound and gagged. Buffy was standing watch at his head and Willow and Tara were performing some ritual at his feet.

"Buffy," Giles stammered out. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shh," she walked over to stand by them. "Willow found an unbinding spell, should destroy whatever they've done."

"Buffy, are you insane, this is pure madness, she's going to come for you." Angel tried to push past her, desperate to set Xander free before this went too far.

"Don't worry, they don't know we have him. By the time they find out, it'll be too late." Buffy beamed proudly. "I told you I could fix this."

"Buffy, you don't understand, she'll know. She'll know." Angel bowed his head, waiting for the inevitable.

"Bloody hell, it's supposed to be a surprise, William. Not much of a surprise if the packages are all over the place." Kat brushed the hair off her face and gathered up the paper and packing peanuts.

"That's what you're for, pet. Make a lovely cleaning service, you do." He ducked as she threw the packaging at his head. They both froze as the screams echoed in the house.

"Help, please, Spike, please help, take me from you" Xander's voice, hoarse and raw.

Spike whirled in a circle, frantically searching, scenting, fangs instantly lowered. "Xander, Xander, where are you? Mistress, please, where," he stopped, turning desperately to her.

"Shh," Kat closed her eyes, focusing everything on the sound. They snapped back open, red licking the corners. "Let's go." She grabbed his wrist and tore out the door. "Don't let go, not yet." They ran out the door, her hand firmly around his wrist, blue light flickering across his body as they ran. "Don't let go." Faster and faster until they were merely a blur, moving directly for the cry ringing in their minds.

Willow and Tara stood, balancing the bowl in their hands, still chanting softly. They moved to stand at Xander's feet, raising the bowl above their heads. The chanting grew louder and faster and they brought the bowl back down, preparing to drench Xander with the liquid.

The sky streaked red with lightening as their arms drew back and with a furious crack the bowl shattered, spilling the liquid over them. They became to scream as it burned, dropping to their knees. Buffy stepped back, stunned as Kat and Spike ran over the low rise of the hill. She turned and threw the stake, sending it directly for Spike's heart.

A split second later she was pinned against a tree, the stake in Kat's hand, the tip burrowing into throat.

"Slayer. You cunt. You hurt what is mine." Kat's free hand raised and a bolt of lightening rippled through Buffy's body. A howling scream tore from Buffy's throat as the electricity danced through her. Kat tossed aside the stake, smiling evilly at the drop of blood welling from where it had been pressed. She moved her hand back onto Buffy's face, the current following the path of her fingers.

Willow and Tara still writhed on the ground. Spike ran right past them and directly to Xander. He ripped the chains apart, a loud growl rumbling from him. Quickly, Xander was free and Spike gently worked the gag out, pulling the still body into his arms.

"Is he still unconscious?" Kat's voice carried over as she turned Buffy, moving her so that she could see Giles and Angel. Giles was standing perfectly still, frozen in place, unable to move. Angel simply stared at them, terrified of what was going to happen next.

"Yes, is he, is he," Spike swallowed hard, tears running down his cheeks.

Kat tilted her head to face him. "He's fine, just took more out of him than he thought to call. He's perfectly fine. William, calm down, I would never let anything harm him, not for long." She whirled back, facing Buffy squarely again. "We'll just wait until he wakes up. Then he can decide just what their punishment shall be." Another crack, another flash and Buffy began to shriek as the lightening ripped through her again.

Part Fifteen

Spike ran his hands over and over the still body in his arms, fighting back the terror ripping through his body. He was fine, she said he was fine, he would be fine, she would never allow anything to hurt him, she promised, she promised and she always kept her promises, at least her promises to him. He would be fine. But he wasn't right now. Right now he was still and cold and lying there in his arms and not responding, no matter what Spike said, not reacting to the kisses to his temple and the caresses down his arms. But he would be fine, he had to be fine. For if he wasn't, then chip be damned he would kill them all.

"Spike, he'll be fine, I promise you that. Close you eyes, concentrate, feel him, you can feel him, you can do it, remember what I taught you," Kat quietly said, slowly removing her hand from Buffy's face. She tilted her head, considering the twitching body in front of her. Not enough, not nearly enough to make up for what the Slayer tried to do. But if she went any further, permanent damage could be done. And that choice was not hers to make. She stepped back, letting Buffy collapse to the ground. "Give him a few more minutes, William, and if he isn't back on his own then I'll go get him. But it's best if he comes back on his own." She poked Buffy's body idly with her foot, then turned, catching Angel's eye.

Angel stood, transfixed, torn in two. Part of him wanted to grab Buffy and tear her away from the terrible pain that she was feeling, part of him wanted to gather up Willow and Tara and wipe the liquid away, stop the burning, part of him wanted to slap Giles to break him out of the trance like state into which Kat had placed him. But the other part of him wanted to gather Spike in his arms and hold him until all was well again. Part of him wanted to go to Buffy and Willow and Tara and slap some sense into them. They were warned, they were told to leave this alone, Xander himself explained this was what he wanted. And they valued his opinion so little that they ignored him. He could feel anger burning inside him at that realization. They simply ignored Xander's wishes, simply assumed that he was incapable of making an adult decision for himself. He met Kat's gaze, a part of him realizing that she had stepped back, that Buffy was no longer screaming in pain, that Kat had not once touched Willow or Tara. She may be cruel, but her punishments were always just. He could attest to that.

His head snapped when he heard the whimpering come from his childe. He started to run, the decision suddenly simple, the choice clear. Spike was his childe. They had harmed his childe, his childe who for once had done nothing to them, who had taken nothing from them, who, truth be told, had given them a gift. And they tried to destroy that, giving no consideration for how his childe was changed, no quarter given for all his childe's complicated nature. No, they assumed he meant the worst. They hurt his childe, they would have to pay.

"Spike," he pulled up short at Spike's vicious growl, watching as Spike pulled Xander closer still. He knew Spike would have no compunction about biting him now, and Angel would not blame him in the slightest. He slowly removed his coat, then draped it over Xander. "I thought he might be cold." A low rumbling came from his chest as he cautiously settled on the edge of the table, reaching out to place a hand on Spike's arm. Again a vicious growl, but Spike did not try to pull away. "If our Mistress says he will be fine, then he will be, she would never lie to you, William." He moved slightly closer, wanting nothing more than to clutch Spike to his chest but knowing Spike would never allow that. He settled for stroking Spike's arm, continuing the low rumble that always soothed his childe in the past.

"They hurt him. Look at his wrists." Spike turned to his Sire, hating that he needed this, longed for this, the warm comfort missing for so long. He carefully pulled Xander's right arm out from under the warmth of the coat. A deep cut ran around Xander's wrist, the chains having cut deep into his flesh. "They hurt him." Yellow eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "They must be punished."

Matching growls rose from their throats, a promise made, a promise accepted. Spike might not be able to avenge, but Angel could. They hurt his childe's mate. They would pay. Angel stood, leaned over and pressed a warm kiss to Spike's forehead. "They will be, my childe. I will make sure of that." He turned and stalked over to the witches, ignoring their cries, drinking in the fear that poured off them as he stared down, fangs glittering in the moonlight.

"Step back, Angelus."

His hissed over at Kat, chafing at the authority in her tone. "They deserve this." He didn't want to be stopped now, he needed this, needed to make up for the long years during which he left his childe be, left him to struggle and suffer alone. He reached down, yanking Willow to her feet, ignoring the twist in his gut at the look of terror on her face. Time enough for guilt later, now, now he would avenge what was his.

Pain flared through him as Kat jerked him away. "I said to step back, Angelus. This is not want you want, not truly. I know they hurt William, and, trust me, no one craves their blood more than I. But it is Alexander's choice, his decision to make, not ours. Besides, you do not want their blood on your hands. If any is to be shed, it will be on mine." She tugged him away, moving him to stand next to Giles. "Stand watch, please. We are sure to draw attention soon. Kill whatever you like, that should help."

Giles turned his head slightly as Angel moved to stand next to him, his back to the group, scanning the trees. As many times as Giles saw Angel in his true form, it still sent a shiver of fear down his spine. Spike physically could not harm them. Angel was held back only by guilt. And guilt could be ignored. "Angel, please, you have to help them." He could not move, she had done something to him, and he could only watch in horror.

A cold smile crossed Angel's face. "I am helping them, Giles. Katarina is right, we are sure to attract attention and she's too distracted to deal with them right now. It's all she can do not to just kill you all." Angel watched, extending his senses, listening closely. Nothing yet, but that was sure to change. He spared a moment to glance back to Xander and Spike. Xander appeared to be moving, a least a little. That had to be good sign.

"You're helping her. Angel, how, how can you do that? You saw what she was doing to Buffy, don't, don't you care?" Giles couldn't keep the shock from his voice, he never expected Angel to do anything but help save Buffy.

"Yes, no more than she deserves. She was warned. She made her choice." A loud howl as Angel dashed off. Giles could hear fighting, low guttural cries then a loud shriek as blood splattered across his face. He closed his eyes, waiting for the blow to come, only to start when a cloth smoothed across his face.

"Sorry about that, didn't think it would spurt that far." Angel moved back next to him, blood dripping from his hair.

"Angel, truly, what, what are you doing? She is going to kill Buffy." Giles desperately tried to move, running through every spell to counter this that he could remember.

"No, no, she's not. Not unless Xander tells her to do so. Don't you understand, Giles, they hurt Xander, so it's Xander's decision. And his alone." Angel sighed, the futility of explanation striking him. "She is cruel, not evil. There is a difference you know."

Xander slowly came back to consciousness, letting all his other senses catch up before opening his eyes. Spike was holding him and alternating between growling and whimpering. Kat was standing at the end of the table, and, for some reason, was blocking all his attempts at touching her mind. There was no such block from Spike and worry and love and pain were pouring over him in equal measure. He stirred, grasping Spike's hand, wincing a little at the pain from the cut on his wrist. He opened his eyes only to find terrified yellow ones staring down at him. "Spike, hey, calm down, I'm okay." He struggled to sit up, finding it hard to move in Spike's firm grasp. "Ease up a little, will you, just want to sit up."

Spike let go slightly, relief cresting over him. Xander sounded fine, sounded just like his old self. "Are you sure you're okay, those cuts look pretty bad." He nestled Xander under his chin, lifting one of Xander's hands to his lips and licking the wound clean.

Xander sighed, Spike's cool tongue soothing away the pain. "Yeah, I'll be fine, that really helps, thanks." He looked around, taking in the strange scene. "Umm, guess I got a hold of you guys." He shuddered, the fear of losing Spike creeping across him once again.

"Yes, heard you loud and clear. Scared the fuck out of me, Xan. You've been out for about twenty minutes." Spike tried to control his shaking, not really wanting Xander to know just how scared he had been, knowing as he did so how futile that would be.

"What did she do to them?" Buffy was lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of a tree, Willow and Tara appeared to still be writhing in pain, Giles was as still as a statue. And Angel was there. Xander's forehead wrinkled in confusion. Why was Angel there?

"Nothing yet." Kat moved to take Xander's other hand in hers. "That's up to you. They were trying to perform an unbinding spell. Their goal was to strip you away from Spike. Even after they were told to do no such thing, even after you told them that you wanted this. Xander, have you spoken to Willow at all since you met her for dinner, did she ever try to ask you what was going on?" Kat stroked his hand, keeping her gaze averted. She didn't want Xander seeing just how furious she was, she didn't want to influence his decision at all.

Xander shook his head slowly, pulling away from Spike and swinging his legs over the side of the table. "No, she never tried to ask." He stood slowly, making sure that his legs could bear the weight. Spike rose with him, keeping a firm hand on his lower back, ready to catch him if he grew weak. He walked over and knelt next to Willow, hating to see her in such pain.

"Can you, can you do something, please, I don't want her and Tara to hurt like that," he turned pleading eyes to Kat.

She nodded and immediately placed a hand in the center of their chests. "Whatever you wish, the decision is yours." The witches stilled under her touch, pain fading away.

"Xander, hells, they were trying to hurt you, they were trying to take you away, let them hurt," Spike growled into Xander's ear, blood howling to see them continue to hurt.

"Can't, she's still my friend." Xander walked over to where Buffy lay unconscious. His jaw hardened as he gazed down at her. "Besides, I know my Willow. She was just going along with Buffy here." He turned as Angel moved to stand behind them. "Angel, what are you doing here?"

"Giles asked me to come to keep things from getting out of control. I'm sorry, Xander, apparently I didn't do a very good job of it." Angel stared down at Buffy as well, cutting off the pain that seeing her always caused.

"Alexander, they must be punished. Whatever you wish, that is what shall be." Kat moved to face him. "It is your choice. But, before you choose, consider exactly what you wish. Justice comes in many forms."

Xander stared at her, trying to decipher just what she meant. He knew Spike wanted them dead, part of him did too. But that would accomplish nothing more than a passing moment of pleasure. Then they would be gone. And no matter what they had done now, in some way they had done it because they cared. He couldn't just ignore that. His eyes narrowed as he thought. What he wanted was for them to realize just how he felt, just how betrayed and hurt, just how much it ached when he realized how little they trusted him. And that, that he could do.

"I know what I want." Xander turned and kissed Spike quickly. "Now before you even start, I don't want them to die." He ignored Spike's hiss and managed to just cover Spike's mouth with his hand before the vampire could launch into a tirade. "They don't deserve to die. They deserve to suffer." He turned back to Kat, seeing the look of approval on her face. "I want them to feel exactly how they've treated me, exactly what they were trying to take away, exactly what it's been like being their friend. That's what I want."

"Excellent choice, Alexander. And that's something you can do for yourself. I'll just, well, guide you a little." She reached down and stroked a finger down Buffy's face. "Wake, little one. Time to pay the price."

Buffy returned to consciousness with a start, pain still shivering through her body. She looked up to see Kat leaning over her, Spike and Xander standing hand in hand. And Angel, Angel was right there next to them. Her heart leapt, Angel would help them. She could always count on him. "Angel, please, please you have to help us, she's done something to Xander." Buffy slowly staggered to her feet, reaching out to Angel. "I'm so glad you're here."

Angel backed away, shying from her touch. "Buffy, we warned you, we told you not to do anything." He steeled himself as shock crossed her face. "She hasn't done anything to Xander, well nothing bad. If you only listened to him, then you would understand." Angel lowered his head, not wanting to see the betrayal in her eyes.

"Angel, how, how can you take their side, this is Spike, he's evil, he's turned Xander, didn't you see the bite mark, how can you just stand there, you know what Spike is," Buffy's voice shook, her world tumbling around her.

"Buffy, be careful what you say, I still care for you, you know that, but that doesn't mean I will always think you're right." Angel stared back at her, battling back a low growl. "Spike is not evil. Maybe he was once in the past, but even that was my doing. Now, now he is no more evil than I am. And he very well may be much less."

"Gods, what has she done to you," Buffy started, only to rocked back as Kat slapped her.

"You will not speak to Angelus like that." Kat spoke slowly, emphasizing every word. "He is no longer yours to command. Come, time for you to learn, Slayer. And this time, this time I would advise that you pay attention. This is your only chance." Kat grabbed her wrists and dragged her over to where Willow and Tara lay on the ground. She shoved Buffy down and called over to Giles. "Watcher, come here."

Giles felt himself pulled over, legs moving against his will. He too settled on the ground and he watched, detached, as Kat woke Tara and Willow. Whatever was coming next, he knew that he, at least, deserved it. Finally, finally, his punishment had arrived.

"Xander, you sit in the middle. Everyone else, join hands." The instructions were immediately obeyed, even Xander leaping at Kat's command. She settled next to Xander and took his hands in hers. "Xander, I want you to concentrate, picture exactly what it is you want them to know. Then, simply let go and they will know, they will see. I'll be here to make sure of that."

Xander lowered his head and fell into his mind, just as she taught him. Slowly, painfully, he brought forth every memory, every time they belittled him, every time he was pushed aside, every time he was ignored. Tremors racked him but he pressed on, letting it all free, finally revealing all the things he never had the courage to say. He vaguely heard them start to cry, but he ignored it, he wasn't going to let it stop him, not this time. No, this time he was in control, he was in charge, they weren't going to stop him, they would finally know. Then, pain faded as he came to Spike, reliving their first kiss, their first touches, the first time Spike entered him, the first time he entered Spike. Continuing on to that night, the need to be part of Spike, the need to be part of Kat. Then nothing but happiness as he found his mate, found what had been missing from his soul. Finally, the pain of their rejection, the loss of his family. All of it laid bare, until he felt the echoes coming from them, felt their pain. It should have hurt, but it didn't. It felt right, felt true. They would know, they would be forced to see what they tried to do, the way their ignorance could have destroyed them all. He sensed Kat adding something, letting them see just how close she came to destroying them all. Something more though, something coming from Giles. He probed at the sensation, only to feel her hand clench on his arm. This was not for him. Whatever it was, it was not for him to know.

Angel slowly wrapped his arms around Spike's waist as Spike watched them. Faint red and yellow flickers traced over their bodies, lines of power emanating from Xander. Spike leaned into Angel's embrace, letting the stress bleed away.

"She won't let them hurt him, you know that, Spike." Angel murmured in his ear, inhaling the scent of his childe, memorizing it once again, soaking in the moment before Spike pulled away.

"I know that, Sire." Spike relaxed further, feeling the coolness soak into his skin. "You chose us." He still couldn't believe it, Angel came to him, came to help him, came to help Xander.

"You are my childe." The simple words contained unfathomable layers of meaning. "They attempted to harm you and what is yours. For nothing, for once, William, you did not deserve it."

Spike snorted at that. "I'm not always in the wrong you know." He waited for Angel to pull away, stunned that he didn't. As long as Angel was willing to stay here then he wouldn't move. He missed this, more than he could ever admit, not to anyone, not even himself.

"Just usually." Angel chuckled into his ear. They stayed quiet for a moment, watching as Kat moved her hands on Xander's arms, keeping him calm. "You truly do love him."

"Yes." Spike watched Xander's face, the emotions rippling across as the memories poured out of him.

"I've missed you, childe." Angel rested his chin on Spike's head, the familiar motion still in his bones.

"And I you, Sire." They said nothing more, yet both could sense the settling of old accounts, their connection still there, despite all that was between them.

Xander finally opened his eyes, looking up to see the expressions on his friends' faces. They looked stunned, shocked at the pain they caused. Xander waited, knowing who would speak first.

"Xander," sure enough it was Willow. "Why didn't you ever say something, I never had any idea you felt like that." She could feel it inside her, the pain she caused her supposed best friend.

"Kind of the point, I shouldn't have needed to tell you." Xander reached out and took her hands. "Look, I'll forgive you, I always do, just, give it some time." He stood, stepping out of the circle, moving straight for Spike. "Come on, want to go home." He stopped, looking back at Angel. "Thanks, sure it wasn't easy for you."

Angel just nodded as they walked away, watching them go. His childe was his again, something he never believed possible. His childe, his family. Someone who understood. He slowly realized that Kat was standing before him. He looked down, forcing himself to meet her eyes.

"Angelus," just his name breathed out. She leaned up and kissed him quickly, the warmth lingering on his lips. She took his hands, squeezed and then walked away. He stared after her for long moments, ignoring the people moving next to him. He turned away as well, walking back to his car. He unlocked the door then sat down, opening the paper she pressed into his hand. Directions to her house. He cast a glance in the mirror and drove off, leaving the gang behind. They could make their own way home.

Part Sixteen

They trudged slowly back towards the road, eyes clouded, each silent and lost in their own world. Looking back, Willow would marvel that they made it back safely, that they had not been attacked. If they had been, she doubted they would have survived. But somehow they made the long trek back to the road, Giles finally rousing slightly when he noticed that Angel's car was gone. Listlessly he joined Buffy in the back of Tara's car, leaning his head back as they pulled away. Silently Tara dropped off first Buffy and then Giles, before heading back to her and Willow's apartment. She wanted to speak, she really did, she wanted to talk about what just happened, about how she had felt everything Xander had, how her own reactions to it came bouncing back to her. But she was afraid to break the silence, the spell that had fallen over her friends. Troubled, she cast a glance over to Willow. Willow was staring straight ahead, eyes locked on some distant sight. Sighing, she reached over and took a hand, running her thumb along the back, just providing a touch, something for her lover to know she wasn't alone. Willow didn't move, didn't acknowledge her presence in any way. Tara pulled her hand back and concentrated on driving, trying to remember if lavender or comfry would be best to put in Willow's bath. She didn't understand this reaction, not at all. Sure, it was a little frightening at first to be lost in someone else like that, but, after the initial fear, she felt nothing but awe at the strength Xander displayed in allowing himself to be open like that. And, frankly, she was a little curious to know how he did it.

She pulled into their space and they simply sat there for a moment, a small breeze moving through Tara's slightly opened window. Sighing, Tara got out of the car, then turned her face to the sky, seeking out Orion's belt. The familiarity of it grounded her, as it always did, the slow dance of the planets soothing on some fundamental level. She waited for Willow to join her, waited for a warm hand to slip into hers. But still she was alone. Concerned, she moved over to the passenger's side, startled to find Willow still sitting there, still locked away in her mind. Tara pulled open the door, then sank gently to her knees, wrapping her arms around Willow's waist.

"We're home now, why don't you come inside, I'll run you a bath," Tara spoke gently, not wanting to startle Willow.

Willow simply nodded, then turned and slowly clambered out of the car, movements a little off. She took Tara's hand and allowed herself to be led into the foyer, then the elevator, leaning on the wall as soon as the door closed. Tara gently tugged her down the hall, pausing to fish out her keys, then opened the door and ushered Willow inside. Still perfectly quiet, she walked straight to the bathroom, settling her partner on the edge of tub while she lit the candles. She pulled Willow up, leaning her against the sink, turning back to fill the tub. She scattered a handful of lavender on the water, then turned and efficiently stripped her lover, for once not lingering as the pale flesh was revealed. She guided Willow into the bath, kneeling on the floor next to her, leaning her back, resting her head on the small pillow they always kept there. Tara began to sing gently, some crooning lullaby, the words meaningless, simply needing to break the silence while still comforting her quiet love.

Willow closed her eyes, relaxing in the warmth of the water, Tara's soft touch in her hair helping her to finally calm, pulling her away from the terror in her mind. She could still feel him, could still hear him, could still remember ever thoughtless word and gesture. How could she have ignored this for so long? For so very, very long. A tear finally escaped, making its way down her cheek as the memories hit her. From the beginning, from the very beginning Xander had been afraid the he wasn't good enough, that someday something would happen and Willow wouldn't be his friend any more. And she never knew. She simply assumed that Xander's joking and clowning was a part of him, never sensing the massive insecurity it masked. She should have known.

She forced herself to move forward, through high school and her pitiful crush. Even that seemed tainted, knowing now that the reason Xander never looked at her like that, never shared her desires was from fear that Willow was only acting that way because he thought Willow thought she was supposed to, that Willow thought she was supposed to fall in love with her best friend, that was how it went in all the books and movies and television shows so obviously that was how it must be for them. Another tear as she realized that Xander never once thought that Willow wanted him for him. Then the betrayal of their kiss, both doing it from fear and pain and expectation. Then the mingled joy and pain as he watched her with Oz and Tara, wanting her to be happy, so desperately wanting her to be happy. Yet the tinge of jealousy still present at the loss of his best friend.

Willow squirmed slightly under Tara's touch as she moved onward. Then college and leaving him behind and ignoring him and being so caught up in everything that was so new to her. The pain of being excluded, the assumptions she had that Xander simply wouldn't understand what she was talking about, that Xander wouldn't want to listen, that Xander wouldn't be interested in anything intellectual. She could almost taste the loneliness, the way they walked past and left him behind, never asking how he was, how his life was turning out, if there was anything new he had to offer. They pigeonholed him, ignored him and now, now she could feel it all. She let out a whimper, the ache pounding in her. Her best friend. And how hollow was that.

She felt Tara pull her forward, felt the touch of the sponge as Tara calmly washed her back, rubbing small circles down her spine. Willow forced her eyes open, staring straight ahead, seeing the events as they played in her mind. How sure she was that Xander needed saving, the arrogance of assuming that he could never make that choice, the complete disregard for his words. Buffy's angry voice in her ear, stirring up the jealousy that had burned through her gut when she saw that scar. Xander was hers, hers, and no one else could have him. He was her family, hers to keep, but Xander wanted someone else. She pulled away from Tara's touch, not wanting to be clean, not wanting to feel any tenderness. Here, now she could be honest with herself. She hadn't done it because of Xander, hadn't done it from some desire to help him. Oh, sure, all that was part of it, that was true. But, deep down, deep in the truest portion of her soul, she knew her real reasons why. She was angry. She was jealous. She didn't want anyone else to come between them, not ever, and that was why she looked up the spell, why she agreed to Buffy's mad plan. She gasped a little as a sudden feeling of warmth spread through her, calming touches at the edges of her mind.

"Willow, please, let up a little, you're always so hard on yourself." She could swear she heard Xander's voice in her ear. "Like I wouldn't have done the same thing if I thought you were in trouble. I mean, I'm sitting there telling you I'm in love with Spike, what did I think you were going to do, pick out our china pattern? He has tried to kill you a few times." The familiar mocking tone warmed her to her toes.

"But I should have known that you weren't that foolish," Willow whispered, sure that she was imaging things.

"And I should have told you what was going on from the start, after all, you are my best friend. Please, Willow, you have to know that, I mean, you love Tara like that and I'm still your best friend. Always will be, we made a promise, remember." Xander chuckled in her ear and she felt the sudden sting of the blade in her palm. Suddenly, she was seven years old again, cutting her palm and pressing it to Xander's.

"Friends forever," they said it in unison, their blood mingling together.

"Friends forever," Xander's voice again, deep inside her mind. "You know that, you know things will be fine."

Tara pulled Willow back into her arms as Willow started to cry. "Shh, it'll be fine. You'll talk to him soon, you'll work this out. Once things calm down then you can sit and talk. You'll make it through this." She let the water rinse down the drain as she bundled Willow into a towel, gently rubbing her dry.

"I know." Willow finally looked straight into Tara's eye, smiling suddenly. "I love you, you know." It seemed very important that Tara know this, that never again did she assume that those important to her understood her feelings.

Tara kissed her forehead, leading her into the bedroom. "I know that, let's go to sleep now, it's been a long day." Willow yawned as she padded behind Tara, content, wondering idly why she could still feel the warmth of Xander's blood in her veins.

Buffy flopped back onto her bed, wincing as the cuts in her back rubbed on the comforter. She ached through and through, every muscle still ringing from the jolt of the lightening. She threw an arm across her face, hoping the blackness would just make this day disappear. Damn it, why did everything have to go so wrong, just a few minutes more and they would have fixed this, they would have wrenched Xander free from whatever bonds that those, those fiends wrapped him in. She scowled fiercely, trying to work back over what went wrong.

The plan should have worked perfectly. The books she sneaked out of The Magic Box told exactly what to do. Willow was more than happy to help, as angry and appalled as she was at Giles' stupid prohibition. Of course he was scared of Kat, it was probably beaten into him during Watcher training not to mess with her. But, really, what was Buffy supposed to do, just sit back and let nothing happen while one of her closest friends was turned by her used to be mortal enemy. No way was that going to happen, not when she could do something about it.

She slowly turned over, the burning in her back starting to be a bit too much. But, somehow, things simply went wrong. She dearly wanted to know just where Spike and Kat came from. They must have been following Xander, that explained it. There was no other answer. She pounded on the pillow, trying to beat it into a more comfortable state. She puffed out a huge breath, trying to blow the hair off her face. All right, maybe it wasn't the best thing in the world to chain him up like that, but, for hells sake, she was just trying to help, just trying to do her job. She sighed again, letting that thought turn in her mind. It truly sucked sometimes to be the Chosen One. It wasn't as if she wanted to hurt Xander, it was just that sometimes it hurt to do the right thing.

She frowned slightly as she thought about that. Was it the right thing? After all, Xander did seem happier lately, did seem more confident and sure of himself. He even bounced when he walked and she and Willow and Tara had spent several hours wondering when he was finally going to introduce them to his new lady love. Because that was certainly how he was acting, like someone in love.

Buffy moaned as she pulled her knees to her chest, the muscles protesting at the movement. In love. Xander said he was in love with Spike. Another snort at that. Yeah, right. Even if Spike somehow convinced Xander it was true, she knew better. Spike was a demon and everyone knew that demons couldn't love. Besides, just when the fuck did Xander turn out to be gay. A picture of Spike and Xander suddenly popped into her mind. Naked Spike and Xander. Naked Xander bent over a chair while Spike slowly, slowly slid into him.

She bolted upright, the picture sickening her. No, Xander wasn't gay. After all, she had known her for several years now and not once, never, did she pick up anything like that from him. Besides, she knew that Xander was still in love with her, just a tiny bit. That just made it worse. Not only was Spike seducing Xander to be a vampire, he was just plain seducing him as well. She stood, wincing from the pain, moving to check on her stash of stakes. She would be needing them shortly.

On top of everything else, she didn't even want to think about what lies that, that thing told Xander to get him to ask to be part of her family. Xander already had a family, already had them. What else did he need? She moved into the bathroom, deciding that maybe a nice, long, hot shower would help. She rubbed a hand on her temple, trying to soothe away her headache.

And what the hell was that thing she made them do? Holding hands like a group of children, sitting in a little circle and all. Buffy stepped under the spray, turning the water as hot as she could stand. After all this time, she still found the rituals a little silly, why bother chanting when you would get the same results by simply barging in and kicking some ass. She tilted her head back, ignoring the images creeping into her mind. At first it hurt, she wouldn't lie, seeing herself through someone else's eyes. But she clocked in quickly. It was all that damn Kat person. That wasn't really how Xander saw her, it couldn't be. No, she wasn't like that, wasn't so oblivious to others that she wouldn't even see how much she could hurt someone. And it wasn't like Xander ever said anything. She turned slowly under the soothing warmth of the shower. The only reason that she kept Xander out of stuff was to protect him. After all, he didn't have anything special about him, and he was her friend and she didn't want him to get hurt. And he was so brave and so stupid in equal parts that he would just go rushing in not caring about whether or not he would be safe. All she wanted to do was protect him. What was so wrong about that?

Sighing, she leaned against the shower wall, letting her mind stray to what was really bothering her. It was one thing for the rest of them to be caught up in it. But Angel. What was Angel thinking? Her fists clenched as she heard his words pounding in her ear.

"Buffy, be careful what you say, I still care for you, you know that, but that doesn't mean I will always think you're right." When did he start judging her? She didn't understand it, how could Angel stand there and let Kat push him around? Buffy felt her stomach churn as the anger built again. Once again, Angel was letting his guilt overwhelm him, letting some misplaced sense of justice blind him to the obvious. He was choosing the side of someone who cursed him, who gave him his soul and then tore it back away. And he stood there and let her walk all over them.

Buffy turned off the water when it stared to chill. Well, tomorrow she could see everyone and they could regroup. There had to be a way to get Xander away from them. She would just call Giles in the morning and he would get right on it.

Giles stretched out on his couch, shoes kicked off, a little jazz playing in the background. His glasses were abandoned on the coffee table and a comforting cup of tea right there on the floor, right in easy grasp. Chamomile, he always liked chamomile. Quite soothing.

He rubbed his forehead distractedly, the itching still slightly bothersome. So, this is what it felt like to have someone else running around in your head. He wondered idly how the Mistress did it, how she kept them all sorted out. Perhaps that was why she was the Eldest, why she was the strongest. No one but Ancients in her order until Spike. Curiouser and curiouser. Spike and Xander.

He took a swallow of tea, briefly considering fortifying it with something stronger before quickly deciding against it. No, he wanted to be completely sober for this. It was a little like having a fly trapped in your ear, he decided, poking at the sensation. Just a faint buzzing that was there no matter what he did. It wasn't unpleasant, it was simply there, a lingering trace of other turning in his mind.

Giles shifted on the couch, nestling his head down further into the cushion. It shocked him at first, how immediately Xander was able to simply let drop the walls of their minds and come strolling in. And not just one of them. No, all of them at once. It was startling to see them all standing there, Buffy furious and rigid, Willow timid and fearful, Tara shy and stuttering. He didn't want to consider how they saw him. And there in the background the faint tinge of the Mistress, the power tightly reined, just golden fragments glittering in the background. But this was Xander's show, that was certain. These were his thoughts, his feelings, he was in control. She was just there to make sure things didn't go too far.

He rubbed a tired hand across his eyes, willing himself to stay awake. He pondered all he witnessed, wondering if Xander knew that in Giles' case, there was no need for this display. There was nothing Xander could show him, nothing he could say or do that would equal the torment of these last few years. He stifled a sigh, not wanting to let himself fall into the familiar pool of self-loathing. Ever since that first startled recognition of Xander's true nature, Giles walled himself off, ignoring the twinge whenever he put the boy at risk, ignoring the hurt looks and confused expressions whenever he was overly harsh or condescending. Goddess, how many times did he wish he could explain, wish he could sit Xander down and tell him that it was nothing personal, that it could never be anything personal. That the more impersonal he kept this, the easier it would be to turn him over when the time was right.

Unwillingly, his eyes opened and the flashing light of the answering machine captured his complete attention. How many days now since he checked it, seven, eight? Ever since the Mistress entered his store and his deepest fears were realized. Xander finally found himself, found the missing part. Whole now, his power right there and ready to be tapped. Giles stopped answering the phone that day, allowing the college student he hired to replace Anya to answer at the store, waiting until the tape became full at home so that the infernal ringing would end. A quick glance heavenward as he thanked whatever merciful deity it was that made sure the Council never obtained his mobile number. Bless his children, they didn't miss a beat when he told them to only call his mobile, children of technology all, it was a perfectly natural r