Doppelganger
He is 14 years old.
And not 14 nearly 15. No, just barely 14 years old.
His hands shake ever so slightly as he sorts through the glossy stacks, trying desperately to keep his expression impassive and still.
14 fucking years old.
And it's the fucking part that keeps running through his mind.
"Nicky? You don't like them?" Quiet voice from across the table and a shiver runs through his body. God. That tone. Hopeful and fearful and still that note of hero worship.
"They're," and he doesn't mean to pause, he doesn't but what the hell is he supposed to say. His baby brother is 14 years old and he is staring at stacks of photographs designed to make grown women feel the need to bathe for the thoughts that go through their minds when they look at them. To say nothing of the grown men.
"They're good, Aaron." And he glances up just in time to see the relieved smile cross Aaron's face. His hands are cold, from what he does not know. He thinks it may be from handling the sheets of proofs. He's fairly certain it's because it feels like all the blood has been drained from his body.
They think he doesn't know, doesn't remember how fiercely they fought to keep this from happening to him. How Howie and Kevin would strip to nearly nothing if it would keep the photographers from focusing on him. And AJ - well, AJ had been more than happy to stride right up to that line and glare across, daring anyone to think he had ever been a child.
Even Brian had played his part. The good Christian boy, holy and pure. Staring straight into their eyes as he stood next to him, one hand on his shoulder, an ever present reminder of righteousness. Sometimes he would be bruised from the tightness of his grip as Brian fought to keep calm. He was fairly certain he was the only one who knew that "motherfucking goat rimming perverts" was the nearly inaudible litany that would fall from Brian's lips.
And now this. There are times he is convinced it's karma, the universe making up for all those attempts at keeping him innocent by making sure that Aaron will never have the chance to be. Christ. His hand hovers over one of the sheets. He's seen 14 year old boys posed like this before. In the pages of a magazine in Thailand.
"Well, I definitely think that these work well with the new direction we are going to be taking," his mother's voice tears his concentration away from where it is fixed on the photographs.
"I want Aaron to come stay with me in LA for awhile." He stares his mother down, hands flat on the table, voice quiet and reasonable. "I'll take him to work with me in the studio and there should be no problem with arranging for tutoring. I won't really have the chance to spend any time with him when the new tour begins after all. Trust me, the publicity will be great. It'll be good."
He watches, knuckles going white, as Aaron's face lights with a smile. "Oh please, that would be so cool. C'mon, please?" A large hand tugs on his mother's arm as he continues to watch her, a finger tapping the picture under his hand. The one with Aaron's shirt mostly off, the edge of a nipple clearly visible.
She looks at him and he can tell by the tightness around her lips that she is about to say no. He quickly glances at his watch, then slides the photo smoothly into his bag. "Damn. I have to get going. I'm meeting my lawyer in 20 minutes. We have a lot to discuss." He bites back a bitter smile as her eyes go wide, her gaze locked on his bag.
"Anything I should know about?" She tries to keep her tone light, but her eyes remain fixed on where he has the photo safely tucked away.
"No, nothing really. I just need his advice on some stuff." He scoops up the rest of his belongings, putting everything in its place before turning back to face her. "I just found out some new information about a long standing concern of mine and I need to know if it'll help in some steps I'm considering taking." He moves over and drapes an arm across Aaron's shoulders, tugging him firmly against his side. "I'll pick Aaron up tomorrow, say around 9?" They both know it isn't a question.
"I'll make sure he's ready," she sighs out as Aaron begins to bounce.
"This'll be so cool. Nick, thanks!" Aaron is vibrating with delight and Nick closes his eyes tightly as he drops a kiss on the top of Aaron's head.
"Not a problem, kiddo. I'll see you in the morning." He pauses for a second, his hand on the frame. "Be sure to pack for a few weeks." He steps out and pulls the door shut tightly behind him, breaking into a run as soon as he is out of sight. He collapses into his car, reaching out again for his bag, his phone already at his ear.
"Kevin? Hey, yeah, I'm, I'm going to be late. I have to stop at my lawyers." His fingers dance over the photograph, trembling slightly. "I think this time she's finally gone too far." He snaps the phone shut before Kevin can reply, then backs out, heading downtown. Maybe this time it will be enough. Maybe this will finally prove he is right. Maybe now he can try to stop this before Aaron is broken any worse than he already is. Before the damage is irreparable. He hopes so. Because he isn't sure how much more he can take.