Lightening
The thunder crashed a split second after the lightening flared, throwing the faces into sharp relief. The storm was close, very close, the wind whipping through the broken windows in the deserted mansion. After the brief sudden shock of light, the room fell back into blackness, the only other illumination coming from the small fire burning in the grate.
"You came." A low British drawl broke through the silence.
"You asked." The response was immediate. The dark haired man took one step forward, stepping slightly closer to the blond eyeing him warily from across the room. "It's been awhile."
"Ten years." Silence fell again, broken only by the quick metallic click as two lighters sparked into flame. Hands rose to mouths and matching streams of smoke were blown towards the ceiling.
"You know those things'll kill you." A small smile curled on Spike's lips, remembering the time those words were said to him. "You should quit."
A snort at that, then Xander looked down at the cigarette in his hand. "I did. Five years ago. Haven't had one since. I'll quit again tomorrow. I, well, I needed it tonight."
Spike just nodded as silence descended again. He let out a weary sigh, then lifted his head, meeting Xander's eyes for the first time. "Lovely service."
"Yeah. It really was. I was surprised to see you there." Xander snorted as the lie slipped out so easily.
"Had to see it for myself. I can't believe she made it to 30. I can't believe she's gone." Spike stared at the ceiling. "I hear Red ripped the demon to shreds with her own bare hands."
"Yeah, she did. She sort of lost it." Another drag on the cigarette, then Xander tossed it into the fire.
"So, what have you been doing with yourself? Where do you live? Been keeping busy?"
The questions snapped what little was left of Xander's self control and he took a step forward, eyes flashing in the night.
"Busy. You can say I've been busy. You want to know where I live. I've lived all over this fucking planet. I haven't settled down in what, ten years. What have I been doing? You want to know what I've been doing." Xander took another step forward, fists clenching at his side. "I've been fucking following you."
Spike's flinched back in shock. The lightening strobed through the room, burning into his mind the image of Xander's fist flying towards his cheek. He stumbled backwards as Xander's hoarse yell sounded over the thunder.
"You motherfucker. You left me. You just fucking left me. No note. No phone call. Not even a 'So long, pet, it's been fun and all that, but it was just a shag', no, you just fucking left. And now you show up at Buffy's funeral, slip a note in my pocket asking me to meet you here and you want to know what I've been doing. You asshole." Xander shoved the vampire hard, knocking him to the floor. "You fucking asshole."
They glared at each other for a moment, Spike's eyes glowing yellow in the night. With a shake of his head, he settled back into human form. Xander just stared and then reached out a hand, pulling Spike to his feet.
"Why did you ask me here, William? What do you want from me?" Xander sank into one of the shabby chairs as Spike settled into the other.
"I, well, I've missed you." Spike forced the words out, staring at his hands. "I just had to see you," he turned pained eyes to Xander. "I just wanted to see you again." A look of wonder slowly crossed his face. "Have you really been following me this whole time?"
"Yes," Xander sighed out, running his hands through his hair. "It took me a few months to get together some money, then I took off. Started in L.A. and then went from there. It took four years before I was on the same continent at the same time as you. Then I got better at it. Missed you by about four months in Bonn. Missed you by three months in Moscow. Missed you by two months in Sydney. Missed you by one month in Cairo. Missed you by two weeks in New York. Missed you by a week in Paris. Missed you by three days in London." He turned and met Spike's stare. "And I took the next flight after yours from O'Hare yesterday."
The room flared into light again as they stared at one another. Spike suddenly moved, crossing to kneel in front of Xander's chair. "Xander, gods, Xander." The broken words fell from his lips as he bent his head to rest on those strong legs. Warm hands ran through his hair as he drank in the scent he thought he would never have again.
"Why, William? Why did you go?" Xander's hands moved on their own, the familiar action coming automatically.
Another flash of light and Spike's response was swallowed by the thunder.
"Wil," Xander tugged gently at the hair tangled in his fingers. "What did you say?"
"Chip stopped working." Reluctantly, he leaned back, forcing himself to look up, to see the betrayal on Xander's face. The face that was the last thing he saw before sleeping, the first thing he saw when we woke.
"What?" Xander stared down, at a loss for what to say. For a decade he had imagined this moment, imagined all the vicious things he would say, imagined hearing all of Spike's evasions and lies. Imagined staking him. But he never imagined this.
"Xander, if you've been following me then you know it's been out the whole time." Spike stood, needing to put some space between them.
"Well, yeah, but, I just thought you finally found someone to take it out after you left." Xander leaned back in the chair, completely stunned.
"No." Spike stared into the fire, then sucked in a deep breath. This was why he slipped that note into Xander's pocket. He wanted Xander to know the truth. He always wanted Xander to know the truth. He just was too frightened before. "No. It happened the night I left." A shudder went through him as he felt Xander move to stand behind him. A bitter smile creased his face. He must still trust Xander after all if he turned his back on the human like that.
"Wil, what happened?" Xander brought his hands to rest on Spike's shoulders, rubbing gently.
"I really have no idea. It's not like anything happened. We were lying there, you were asleep and I leaned down to kiss your neck, that spot right below your left ear and when I did," Spike bent his head, eyes falling shut as the memory came into sharp focus. He took another breath to steady himself. "When I did I wanted to taste you so badly. And suddenly my fangs dropped and I was pressing them into your skin and there was no pain." Spike abruptly spun, turning to face Xander, eyes shining bright. "And at that moment all I wanted to do was drain you dry. I wanted to suck the life clean out of your body. And I was going to do it. I almost did. I still don't know how I managed to push away. But I did. And I had to go. I had to go, Xander, I had to leave. If I stayed," Spike's eyes fell shut, the truth hammering into him. He waited a moment, then started again once he knew his voice would stay steady. "If I stayed, I would have killed you. And I couldn't do that. So I ran. And I've been running ever since." Spike stepped back, unable to bear being that close any longer.
"Why?" Xander's voice was low but intense. "Why did you have to run? Why didn't you do it?"
Spike just shook his head, unwilling to speak.
A low growl of frustration, then Xander shoved Spike again. "Why? Why? You owe me that you bastard, why? Why did you run? Why didn't you just drain me? Huh, why?" Another shove and Spike slammed into the wall. "Why, you fucker, why?" Xander leaned into Spike, face inches away. "Why?"
"Because I couldn't do it, because I wouldn't do it," Spike screamed back, fury fueling his words. He shoved and Xander went staggering backwards. Spike stalked forward, all the long years of frustration finally snapping his control. "Because I wasn't about to lose you too." Another shove and Xander sprawled on the floor. "Because I love you."
The room went perfectly still as Spike's words echoed in the room. The room flared into light again as Spike turned away, heading for the door. A yank on his wrist and he fell on top of Xander.
"Xan," he managed to get out before the words were sucked from his lips as Xander kissed him deeply. He groaned low in his throat, then gave in to the heat beneath him, hands frantically running over the familiar planes of Xander's body. He moved desperately, taking all he could before Xander pushed him away, before this dream was over.
"And why do you think I've spent the last ten years following you around? William, I love you, I always have," Xander panted into Spike's ear, his world suddenly right again now that the vampire was back in his arms.
Spike raised up on his forearms, staring into Xander's eyes. "Xander, don't, please don't say that, don't lie to me, if you don't mean it I can't, I just wanted to see you again, I just had to see you, just for a minute, please, don't"
Xander cupped a hand behind Spike's head, bringing a finger up and resting it on Spike's lips. "Shh, I had to see you too. And I'm not lying. I've spent a decade trying to find you just to tell you that. Now, shut up and shag me."
Spike threw his head back and laughed, joy washing over him. "Sure thing, pet." He bent his head down eagerly, then flinched back as Xander bared his neck. "Xander, what about, aren't you afraid?"
"No." Xander licked his lip and then smiled. "I trust you. And before you even ask, we'll figure something out. Later. Right now, just shut up and shag me. We've got a lot of time to make up for." Spike laughed into Xander's mouth as he eagerly bent his head back down.
The lightening flashed again, illuminating the bodies moving together as one.
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