Patriotic Duty
The couch dipped alarmingly as AJ thudded down, tipping Kevin onto his side.
"Just when did you develop this aversion to actually sitting down like a normal person? I mean. Is it some latent desire to be Bo Duke that requires you to vault over the back of the couch?" Kevin shook his head sadly, trying to keep his lips from twitching.
"Ha fucking ha," AJ flipped Kevin off, then pushed away. "Ok. I've been thinking."
"Oh dear God," Kevin buried his head in his hands.
"What?" AJ turned to face Kevin, the picture of innocence.
Kevin eyed AJ. "McLean. Don't even try it. You are claiming to have been thinking *and* trying to look innocent. There is only one conclusion. You've devised some evil scheme."
AJ sniffed. "I'm rather hurt, Richardson. That you would doubt my motivations and impugn my integrity in such an ignoble fashion."
Kevin thudded his head against the back of the couch. "We're going to end up in jail, aren't we?"
"No, no, no. Well," AJ paused, then continued decisively. "Not at all. But see I was watching the news,"
"Since when did you start watching the news?" Kevin interrupted.
"Hey, I'm an involved citizen. Like to keep up with current events and all," AJ poked Kevin in the side.
"In other words you lost the remote." Kevin raised an eyebrow, staring AJ down.
"Ha ha ha. Maybe. But that's not the point. I was watching the news and there was a piece on the national mood and what with the stock market tanking and all the Middle East stuff and all the other stuff, people are down. And I realized that there is something we can do to help." AJ nodded firmly.
"Ok," Kevin said slowly. "That does sound like a good idea. What exactly do you have in mind?"
AJ grinned. "I figured we would leak some of the tapes."
Kevin stilled. "Leak the tapes? Exactly what tapes are you talking about?"
"The tapes. You know the," AJ lifted his hands, making air quotes, "Tapes. Those tapes."
Kevin looked at AJ, mouth opening in horror. "You have got to be kidding."
"No, no," AJ shifted, hands flying as he spoke, "I know there are many, many people who would love to see you naked. Not to mention that the vast majority of the planet wants to see me naked. Let alone the two of us naked together. So just think, when we release the tapes, it'll make massive headlines. People will download clips or buy the official dvd or the bootlegs off the street and it will cheer everyone up. Not to mention proving once and for all that we're both hung like horses."
Kevin simply stared at AJ. "You've finally gone completely insane. I knew it was only a matter of time."
"No," AJ poked Kevin in the side. "This is a great idea! It'll cheer everyone up. The public will love it. The money will boost the economy. Sales of dvd players will soar. We have to do it. It's only fair that we share the magnificence which is us with the world. It's good. It's fair. It's right. By God Almighty, it's our patriotic duty!"
Kevin slapped a hand to his face. "I cannot believe you just said that."
AJ pushed Kevin back, slipping onto his lap and draping his arms loosely around Kevin's neck. "What, baby, you think watching us fuck wouldn't cheer people up?"
"Hmmmm," Kevin nipped at AJ's neck. "Not sure. I think we need to make another one. Just for quality assurance purposes."
AJ laughed, fingers stroking the back of Kevin's neck. "Figured you would say that. That's why I've got the cameras all set up."
Kevin stood, hoisting AJ up and settling his hands firmly under AJ's thighs, AJ's legs wrapping around his waist. "Never let it be said I won't give my all for my country."
AJ's laugh rang through the house as Kevin headed for the bedroom.